Starting all over again...

mkwalk

So I pulled out my scale, very grudgingly, about 6 months after I was actively trying to lose weight. Since December, I have managed to gain 20 lbs, which is horribly depressing. Instead of the summer that I wanted to have, I'm going to have another uncomfortable, overweight summer. Instead of attempting to date, I'm going to be counting calories and battling through exercise videos. Instead of 40 lbs to lose, I have 60 lbs to lose. So much of me wants to give up. Despite moving to a new city, getting a job, and being reasonably successful in all the other aspects of my life, I still feel like I failed completely. I hate myself for not being able to at least maintain a weight, and I just feel like this struggle is fruitless and endless. I've never been comfortable at any weight. I have not been at a "healthy weight" since I was very young. I don't even know what I would look like if I looked good.

As straightforward as the logic is behind losing weight, I can't seem to stay on track. The more I feel like ****, the more I tend towards food and laziness to make myself feel a little better. As of yesterday, I'm doing well - exercising, eating healthy foods. I just don't know how long I can do this for. I just don't know what to do.

supplemama

Take it one day at a time. Just for today, stay at calorie goal. Just for today, get some exercise in. Just for today, drink enough water.

Get up tomorrow and repeat.

Before you know it another year will have passed and most of those 60 pounds will be gone.

WhiteGirlWasted13

Instead of the summer that I wanted to have, I'm going to have another uncomfortable, overweight summer.

Despite moving to a new city, getting a job, and being reasonably successful in all the other aspects of my life, I still feel like I failed completely.

The more I feel like ****, the more I tend towards food and laziness to make myself feel a little better. As of yesterday, I'm doing well - exercising, eating healthy foods.

I just don't know what to do.

Several things stood out to me. I hope I've quoted them correctly.

1. You can have a good summer or you can have a miserable summer. It's your choice. Just because you have a few extra pounds to lose doesn't automatically put you on the sidelines while everyone else has their "perfect" summers. Go have yours!

2. Sounds like you've had some big changes recently. No wonder your weight has gone up a bit. Give yourself some grace to have fallen off the wagon a bit. You recognize what happened, what you need to do to move forward, just go do it.

3. Again, you recognize what's going on. Sounds like emotional eating is a problem for you. Me too. But if I know that I'm feeling badly, instead of reaching for the comfort food, you have a choice to do something else. Every bite, ask yourself, is this helping me reach my goals or is it hurting me? Helping or hurting? Helping or hurting? Make that your mantra.

Bottom line, we're all in this boat together. Some are in the front, some are in the middle, some are in the backseat. But, there are boatloads of people here to encourage you. Best of luck to you while you figure this thing out!

haidos

Don't be so hard on yourself. make small changes, one at a time and you'll get there.

You say you can't have the summer you want, why not?
Do what you want with people you like and you'll have just as good of a summer as anyone else.

nicsalt

I have been where you are. I had gained so much weight I began to think only surgery would help. I felt like this mountain was to big to climb and I'd never be able to successfully lose the weight. Believe it or not, if you want it badly enough, really truly want to lose the weight, you can ABSOLUTELY do it! You didn't gain it over night so you cannot expect it to come off quickly. Fast weight loss is never permanent. Take it one day at a time, one hour at a time if you have to and celebrate every small victory whether it's making a smarter food choice or losing a half pound.
Clean up your diet AND exercise. Doing one without the other is a waste of your time. I'm glad you're here and have reached out for help. You came to the right place. Good luck and see it through. You're worth it!

:flowerforyou:
"losing weight is tough. Maintaining weight is tough. Being overweight is tough. Choose your tough."

nicsalt

Take it one day at a time. Just for today, stay at calorie goal. Just for today, get some exercise in. Just for today, drink enough water.

Get up tomorrow and repeat.

I LOVE this!!

mkwalk

You didn't gain it over night so you cannot expect it to come off quickly.

It sure feels like I can gain 20 lbs overnight. Aaaargh.

mkwalk

You say you can't have the summer you want, why not?
Do what you want with people you like and you'll have just as good of a summer as anyone else.

I've spent the majority of my life dreading summers. Swimsuits, shorts, no excuse to wear sweatshirts. Wincing when I look at pictures from summers before. Trying to stand or sit uncomfortably so as to look smaller than I am. No matter what "fun" things I do, I'm always thinking about how awful I look. It won't be the summer I want, because I will still feel this way.

SydneyRenee2

First of all stop beating yourself up about the mistakes you made with your weight and put it behind you! Decide you're going to do this and do it! You most absolutely can because I did/am and so many others out there are doing it too! Getting your head in the game is the biggest battle. Look up transformation videos on youtube and they will get you so motivated and inspired. That's what I did to initially get me going and 80 pounds later I have about 29 more to go.

Take baby steps so you don't get overwhelmed. Each day/week set goals for yourself and meet them. Tell yourself I'm going to only drink water today, then try to do it everyday. The next day tell yourself you're going to cut out a bad food you're consuming too much of and so on. You got this girl! Don't get down on yourself so bad! We're all here for you!!

mindful53

I can identify with much of what you say and am really struggling. Yesterday was awful for me, food-wise. Sticking with healthy eating can be so difficult and frustrating. I've had all sorts of problems with this for the longest time and have also seen the numbers on the scale go up -- when I was 'supposedly' working on losing. Hey, I'm 60-year-old and have weight issues all of my life. The reasons (or rationalizations) are countless: stress, fatigue, anger, boredom, celebrations, sorrow, or just a "who cares?" moment. But every day CAN be a new beginning. Today, I started out with an hour at a local gym, which made me feel better. As SydneyRenee2 said, we all need to take baby steps and set reasonable goals. Hopefully the day will go well. All we can do is try.

Seems like there are a lot of people on this site with great advice and support. They've all been there. Just take it one day at a time and make THIS a good one, as will I. And do something FOR YOURSELF, because you deserve it and you are worth it -- right this minute. I suspect there are things you can think of that make you feel good. For me, it could be listening to great music or jamming with my husband (he plays mandolin, I play flute), getting out into nature, looking at videos of my little grandbaby or even reading a good book. Another thing -- try connecting with or help someone else -- to refocus yourself and get a different perspective.

And try to keep in mind that that although we all THINK people are noticing the way we look, that's it's really not true. Everyone has their own issues and probably doesn't even notice whether those around them are larger or smaller. Get outside of yourself and make a point of looking for and embracing the things you enjoy -- and do so completely. Start a journal to write about what you're thankful for. Remember that any mistakes you made were just detours, bumps in the road. The journey continues. Move on. Don't worry -- you'll be OK. We're all in this together.