Smart Girl completely sabotages diet

Gab7777

Hi. I dont even know what to write really. I guess im just opening up and being honest. Tried everything under the sun to lose weight from diets to exercise to juice diets but i ALWAYS sabotage my self and get emotional satisfaction from food. So i put on weight never lose it. My mother is completely over weight, has used a walking stick since 60 and is a completely manipulative woman. Ive never know real mother's love and get my emotional support from dense sugary food. How do i break this strong hold over my life. Ive just cut her out my life and need help staying on track and valuing myself enough to eat healthy food and not risking diabetes every night from sugar binges.

ToshaLyn

I'm so sorry to hear about your relationship with your mom.

I definitely admit that I have a perpetual sweet tooth. I've read a lot on it and some people say that they could only be successful by completely quitting sugar. You should research sugar addiction and quitting sugar.

I personally give myself a treat every day. I very rarely go an entire day without eating something sweet. And this works for me because I'm no longer binge eating oreos and yogurt covered pretzels. BUT I track every single thing (with caloric value) that I consume. That's the absolute best advice I can give you. Track EVERYTHING! Before you even decide how much you want to eat, what you want to eat, whatever ... track everything. It's such an eye opener. You will see things more clearly and more realistically.

Good luck. Sending you good juju!

Ninkyou

Start by just logging everything. Fit the foods you regularly eat into your calorie goal. Try to exercise moderation, but don't get depressed if you have a bad day and go over your goal. Just log it and move on.

seraphicdoctor

HI Gab, Thanks for being so honest and courageous in putting your struggles out there. I usually don't offer advice unless I am asked but, still I don't know you or your situation personally so take what I say with a grain of salt.

For many people food is a source of momentary comfort. I know its that way for me. I will chow and chow...knowing that I will be stuffed and miserable in an hour but it is sort of a short sighted compulsion on my part.

Generally if you deprive yourself of something, try and build something positive into your life that will help with your emotional well being. That helps balance out your experience and helps you mentally stay strong to continue to avoid the sweets. I think Tosha is right in that you also need to built into your life good activities or practices that bring you joy and comfort.

So for example, if you are taking away sweets, perhaps give yourself some other indulgence or something a little more healthy that gives you a similar zap of comfort. It's probably different for everyone. A massage, pedicure, a walk in nature, a favorite movie, buying yourself a gift, meditation, prayer, maybe even a gold star or a little money saved up for a big splurge. Ideally it would be something daily, and something tangible that you would get immediate gratification for doing and would strengthen your resolve to avoid overloading on the sweets.

Can you think of anything like this that might work for you?

The other thing is, be compassionate to yourself! Good luck!

SueInAz

There are some really great suggestions in here. I hope you find something that help you. The only other thing I might suggest is some professional help, counseling, if you have access to it. Having an objective person to talk to about your pain and how it is affecting you can be really helpful in helping you to overcome the type of thing you are going through.

Cheryllynnhagen

I agree with the above, get some counseling. The emotional baggage that you carry around from your negative mother will always hinder you on some level. I had a very negative mother too. Once I got rid of a bunch of emotional garbage I was able to focus on myself. I got a Fitbit too. That helps motivate me to get out the door and walk along with keeping track of all my food. Sometimes I have to estimate things but I log it anyway. Just the part of daily input is key for me, even if I go over a tad. Good Luck to you.

emmooney235

There are some great suggestions above that I think I might even try to incorporate as well. One thing that has helped me is that if I bring a bag of chips/candy/junk food into the house, I try to immediately portion and repack it. I also look for substitutes, some days a clementine or two takes care of my sweet tooth and sometimes it doesn't. You can also make healthier versions of the foods you crave instead of buying them. I'm still amazed at what I find in a simple Google search.

Take it one day at a time. Log everything. Continue being honest and don't beat yourself up when you slip. I trying to get back into the swing of things after several ill timed stressors made me gain more than the 15 pounds i had lost. It won't be easy, but you can do it.

sheldonklein

You can wait until you solve all of the other problems in your life, or you can accept that weight loss happens based on what you put in your mouth, not what's going on in your head. I'm at least as screwed up as the average bear, and I pretty much have all the same problems in my life as I had a year ago, when I started this. The only difference is that I'm not morbidly obese.

Damien_Scott

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw

That is all.

PaulaWallaDingDong

Damien_Scott wrote: »

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ow0lr63y4Mw

That is all.

A lot of people will see this as harsh, but I have to say, simply starting a profile on MFP and logging my food has completely changed my relationship with food. Overeating was always something I did out of boredom, comfort, or just plain habit. Now when I want something extra, MFP says "STOP IT!" and that's pretty much it. Everything is based around calories now. Not boredom, not comfort, not habit, not availability. Just calories.

brenn24179

I have one of those kind of mothers who was very neglectful, ignored me especially when my husband left me and that was so hard, learn to take care of yourself and be good to you. I had to learn to stop it like posted above, stop overeating an stop argueing with her!

allaboutthefood

Ninkyou wrote: »

Start by just logging everything. Fit the foods you regularly eat into your calorie goal. Try to exercise moderation, but don't get depressed if you have a bad day and go over your goal. Just log it and move on.

This, just be real with yourself, diet's don't work that is way we fail with them. It's all about lifestyle.

Damien_Scott

PaulaWallaDingDong wrote: »

A lot of people will see this as harsh, but I have to say, simply starting a profile on MFP and logging my food has completely changed my relationship with food. Overeating was always something I did out of boredom, comfort, or just plain habit. Now when I want something extra, MFP says "STOP IT!" and that's pretty much it. Everything is based around calories now. Not boredom, not comfort, not habit, not availability. Just calories.

Exactly. There are no fad diets you need to follow, just watch calorie intake. I never really overate, but I would eat a whole sleeve of cookies instead of a proper meal. Then I would be hungry again in a couple hours and eat 1/3 to a 1/2 of a bag of chips just to be hungry again later. Now that I don't "snack" I'm hungry a lot less and it's no problem for me to personally stay within my goals.

That's not to say you cant go over a little bit from time to time. I don't sweat it if I screw up my planning and go over with what I got to eat. I don't use cheat days either. If i want something I try to plan for it and at least estimate how many calories I'm eating.

brokensia

Crazy timing for your post. I struggle with eating to comfort myself when stressed or sad. I know I'll feel worse after but ... Well you know how that goes. All of the ideas posted are great - pre portioning - having one special treat a day - logging your cals... One other thing that I would recommend... Buddy up on MFP and when you're having a weak moment where you just want to scream or cry or find the nearest French fries, type to them. Put it on your news feed or your buddy's. Acknowledging the moment goes a long way in helping to master the craving. ✨

PinkPixiexox

You haven't been bought up with good habits so of course this'll be a challenge at first - but don't worry. You'll get this. Use MFP for advice and support - you won't find any fads or incorrect theories here, people tend to be very informative. Personally, I've learnt a lot from these forum's and have ditched a lot of nasty habits just by reading posts alone. Wishing you the best of luck and hope you find peace with your Mum situation.

coreyreichle

I started this way. How I "fixed" it (For me), was when I started, I just logged everything, and ignored the calorie goals. Just ate how I usually did.

Then, I sat down, and looked over the diary for the period. Found what my "trouble spots" were (Calorie dense, nutritionally empty, and no bulk). Swapped those every time I had a craving for them.

Did that for two more weeks, then I started trying to hit a calorie goal. The logging is the hardest habit to ingrain. Afterwards, you can tweak your actions one step at a time.

cathliz71

I love the video! Now when I feel like grazing, I will think of that skit, lol! I think there are a lot of great suggestions. I do well for a bit, log my food and then totally get off track to yet start again. It is the beginning of Sept, the start of a new school year and I have decided to make this the start of my journey to achieve my goal. Good luck with yours. I am sorry to hear about your Mom, but toxic people in your life (even family) are not good. Sometimes you need to make tough decisions for self preservation. You deserve to feel good about yourself!xx

wearmi1

If you must figure your emotions and feelings out with food take small steps to start. Buy preportioned treats like for childrens lunches. When you're upset have an individual package of Oreo's or whatever and just know that once it's gone it's gone. That way you've satisfied your need for food in a controlled way and start to make changes from there. I know emotional eating is hard. When life gets rough for me I want to do the same thing, sometimes I fall victim to it sometimes I don't. Portion control is what works the best for me in those situations. In my mind once my little package of cookies is gone I know I can't have another. Or better yet, I now use Fiber one bars as treats. You def don't want to binge eat those!

Good luck on your journey, it's your life make it count!