Need some input for fiancé!

OsricTheKnight

SueInAz wrote: »

I agree that if he realizes how little effort it actually takes to lose weight that he'll probably get motivation out of it. I think that's part of the problem for most of our society; the information surrounding weight loss is confusing and inconsistent. Most people believe you either have to spend a lot of money on supplements/programs or eat like a rabbit and exercise like a fool in order to lose weight. We know, of course, that simply cutting out a couple hundred calories a day is really all it takes.

I'm not so sure it's as little effort as you're implying. Assuming he wants to weigh a solid 250 lbs, and that he's 25 years old, to get to 375 he's likely been eating in excess of 4,000 calories a day. If he'd like to hit goal within 100 weeks, he'd have to lose 1.25 lbs per week, which is a daily deficit of 625 calories. That's over 1/4 what he currently eats, and might seem like a lot of deprivation to him.

So I'm not saying you shouldn't get him to commit to losing, but cutting your intake by that many calories isn't "so little effort". He needs to own the problem, and want to fix it.

Osric

lynn_glenmont

OsricTheKnight wrote: »

SueInAz wrote: »

I agree that if he realizes how little effort it actually takes to lose weight that he'll probably get motivation out of it. I think that's part of the problem for most of our society; the information surrounding weight loss is confusing and inconsistent. Most people believe you either have to spend a lot of money on supplements/programs or eat like a rabbit and exercise like a fool in order to lose weight. We know, of course, that simply cutting out a couple hundred calories a day is really all it takes.

I'm not so sure it's as little effort as you're implying. Assuming he wants to weigh a solid 250 lbs, and that he's 25 years old, to get to 375 he's likely been eating in excess of 4,000 calories a day. If he'd like to hit goal within 100 weeks, he'd have to lose 1.25 lbs per week, which is a daily deficit of 625 calories. That's over 1/4 what he currently eats, and might seem like a lot of deprivation to him.

So I'm not saying you shouldn't get him to commit to losing, but cutting your intake by that many calories isn't "so little effort". He needs to own the problem, and want to fix it.

Osric

Your arithmetic is a bit off. 625 calories is only about 16% (between one-sixth and one-seventh of the 4,000 calories a day you assume he is eating), not "over 1/4 of what he currently eats."

SueInAz

OsricTheKnight wrote: »

SueInAz wrote: »

I agree that if he realizes how little effort it actually takes to lose weight that he'll probably get motivation out of it. I think that's part of the problem for most of our society; the information surrounding weight loss is confusing and inconsistent. Most people believe you either have to spend a lot of money on supplements/programs or eat like a rabbit and exercise like a fool in order to lose weight. We know, of course, that simply cutting out a couple hundred calories a day is really all it takes.

I'm not so sure it's as little effort as you're implying. Assuming he wants to weigh a solid 250 lbs, and that he's 25 years old, to get to 375 he's likely been eating in excess of 4,000 calories a day. If he'd like to hit goal within 100 weeks, he'd have to lose 1.25 lbs per week, which is a daily deficit of 625 calories. That's over 1/4 what he currently eats, and might seem like a lot of deprivation to him.

So I'm not saying you shouldn't get him to commit to losing, but cutting your intake by that many calories isn't "so little effort". He needs to own the problem, and want to fix it.

Osric

I wasn't under the impression there was any type of time frame or goal. We're talking about someone who isn't trying to make a change; his fiance is doing it for him by planning his meals. So if he's not putting in any of his own effort, beyond being willing to eat slightly fewer calories (because that's what is being planned for him) he should be happy losing weight at all, albeit losing at a slow rate. The whole point is to let him see how easy it really is and hopefully create motivation.

flatlndr

OsricTheKnight wrote: »

SueInAz wrote: »

I agree that if he realizes how little effort it actually takes to lose weight that he'll probably get motivation out of it. I think that's part of the problem for most of our society; the information surrounding weight loss is confusing and inconsistent. Most people believe you either have to spend a lot of money on supplements/programs or eat like a rabbit and exercise like a fool in order to lose weight. We know, of course, that simply cutting out a couple hundred calories a day is really all it takes.

I'm not so sure it's as little effort as you're implying. Assuming he wants to weigh a solid 250 lbs, and that he's 25 years old, to get to 375 he's likely been eating in excess of 4,000 calories a day. If he'd like to hit goal within 100 weeks, he'd have to lose 1.25 lbs per week, which is a daily deficit of 625 calories. That's over 1/4 what he currently eats, and might seem like a lot of deprivation to him.

So I'm not saying you shouldn't get him to commit to losing, but cutting your intake by that many calories isn't "so little effort". He needs to own the problem, and want to fix it.

Osric

I once calculated how many calories I was taking in to get to the weight I had reached (left photo). It was 4000+ calories as well. To get that level of intake, I was having not just second servings, but thirds. I was eating all the cake and cookies and everything else in my path ... I was on the "see food diet" ... you know "see food, eat food"

Dropping 625 calories out of a 4000 calorie day is less than a 16% caloric intake drop, or 1/6th, not "over 1/4". That's easy. It's one less serving at dinner, only one slice of cake instead of two, and one less beer.
I have mid-western farming relatives. I have a good recollection of the volume and type of food that is consumed.
I think the peer pressure from his friends and relatives will be the harder part ... when I was out there, food was always on offer, and hard to be refused.

dubird

Start small and start with him. See if he'll agree to weigh and log for a week to see where his baseline is. Then, start changing one thing at a time. It's slower, but if he lowers the amount of food while keeping the same activity level, he'll feel better over time. And when I say start with him, log your food too. Even if you don't need to lose weight, log it. You don't have to show him your log, but might make him feel less self-conscious about it and want to keep it up if you're logging too. Find out foods that he likes to snack on that he shouldn't and banish them from the house, even if they're foods you like. I had to do that with chips. Now, if I really REALLY want chips, I'll go down to the gas station and buy a small bag, which is usually more than a single serving, but at least I don't eat an entire big bag without realizing it!

I also say start small because making a lot of huge changes will normally backfire. Changing one or two things at a time and giving yourself time to get used to them means you're more likely to make and keep those habits and you don't feel like you're depriving yourself.

iplayoutside19

There are a lot of good points here. But I know from my own stubbornness that he's not going to lose anything until he owns this process for himself. So, when he's ready, tell him to sign up for MFP and we'll talk to him.

Commander_Keen

shelbik28 wrote: »

Alright guys, I need some help. My fiancé has always been a bigger guy, but it seems he just keeps getting bigger & bigger and it's really starting to bother him. He's 375 pounds.... He's also 6'5", which adds to it, and farms.. So he has lots of muscle mass. I've noticed his mood change from happy & funny to sad, depressed & stressed out. He's tried Plan Z several times & it works while he's on it, but says it makes him really sick & he blacks out because he loses weight so fast. (He lost 30 pounds in one week- NOT kidding- no wonder he blacked out!) He also has absolutely no time for working out because he works all day and then has chores & other farm work to do at night. ANY advice on how to get him to a healthier weight and lifestyle would be TRULY appreciated! Thank you!

I would work on this diet.
Have him eat 1500 calories and see what happens,

flatlndr

Commander_Keen wrote: »

shelbik28 wrote: »

Alright guys, I need some help. My fiancé has always been a bigger guy, but it seems he just keeps getting bigger & bigger and it's really starting to bother him. He's 375 pounds.... He's also 6'5", which adds to it, and farms.. So he has lots of muscle mass. I've noticed his mood change from happy & funny to sad, depressed & stressed out. He's tried Plan Z several times & it works while he's on it, but says it makes him really sick & he blacks out because he loses weight so fast. (He lost 30 pounds in one week- NOT kidding- no wonder he blacked out!) He also has absolutely no time for working out because he works all day and then has chores & other farm work to do at night. ANY advice on how to get him to a healthier weight and lifestyle would be TRULY appreciated! Thank you!

I would work on this diet.
Have him eat 1500 calories and see what happens,

I hope that was a typo! He's 6'5", 375, and works a physically strenuous job. This input is nowhere near what he needs.

OP ... please do not follow the above advise.

mccindy72

Commander_Keen wrote: »

shelbik28 wrote: »

Alright guys, I need some help. My fiancé has always been a bigger guy, but it seems he just keeps getting bigger & bigger and it's really starting to bother him. He's 375 pounds.... He's also 6'5", which adds to it, and farms.. So he has lots of muscle mass. I've noticed his mood change from happy & funny to sad, depressed & stressed out. He's tried Plan Z several times & it works while he's on it, but says it makes him really sick & he blacks out because he loses weight so fast. (He lost 30 pounds in one week- NOT kidding- no wonder he blacked out!) He also has absolutely no time for working out because he works all day and then has chores & other farm work to do at night. ANY advice on how to get him to a healthier weight and lifestyle would be TRULY appreciated! Thank you!

I would work on this diet.
Have him eat 1500 calories and see what happens,

nope. everything is wrong with this post,