Eating too much?

jenniator

Hey everyone,

I need a little advice. So far I've lost 64 pounds, but I still have 46.3 pounds left to lose, so it's still such a huge amount that I have left to loose and It feels like ever since I got my weight loss down to the "40's", that I've been having trouble losing weight. But it doesn't make sense to me since I still think I would be losing weight since 46 pounds is such a huge amount left to go. I normally eat between 1,400-1,600 calories. I am absolutely dedicated to exercise and have no problem with it. I've been working out at the gym on the elliptical for 93 minutes at one time. I strength train also a bit during the week. So I'm really good with my fitness routine.

My weakness however is food. I do such a great work out, but I ruin my progress with eating to much food during the week and during the weekend.For the past month especially, I've been eating more junk food. Mostly because my sister in law recently had a baby, so everyone's been celebrating with junk food. The problem is, I live with husband, his parents, his sister, and her fiance. Not I don't mind living with them, but it's just hard to live with people that are skinny (good weight), never struggled with weight, and can eat whatever they want. They don't understand how difficult it is to be overweight and have so much weight left to loose. They are supportive, but not really sympathetic or helpful. Every night we have meat, veggies, and large amounts of rice/pasta/ or potatoes. They get mad and upset if I choose a healthier option than those starches which really sucks. But it's not too much of a problem since I can work those meals into my calorie goal.

But the excessive junk food has been a problem, especially since I can't resist it and my will power there is weak. I always ask them to put it away or keep it in their room, but they never do. I've gained a bit of weight the past 2 weeks and haven't been able to get the weight off which makes me depressed since I've been exercising every day. I just don't understand. Sure I've been eating a bit of junk food ever few days, but not in super large amounts or too much. Since I exercise for 93 minutes, I think eating a little junk food wouldn't effect me so much that I gain weight. If anything, I think it would just make me stay the same weight. So I am really confused by that since I don't eat enough junk food to lose all my exercise calories and gain weight. But I would have too if that's happening right? I remember when I still had 50 something pounds to lose, I was able to eat some junk food AND lose weight. But now that I'm in the 40's, I feel like I can't eat anything or I end up gaining weight. I've been dieting (life style change) for 1 year and 3 months. I'm ashamed of myself since I felt like I would've lost a lot more by now if I didn't eat so much and ruin my progress. Maybe I would've almost been done by now even. I feel this has been a constant struggle for me since the beginning and I just can't overcome it. Anyways, I would appreciate any advice anyone can give me.

thankyou4thevenom

You know what the problem is and the curent solution is not working. So try something different like calorie cycling or Intermittent fasting.

Calories cycling means on some days you have quite a small calorie allowance, which means you can bank the others for days when you are going to eat more.

IF has several different versions. One where you have windows of time in which you can eat your food and the others where you have fast days.

Both these might be worth trying out.

jenniator

thankyou4thevenom wrote: »

You know what the problem is and the curent solution is not working. So try something different like calorie cycling or Intermittent fasting.

Calories cycling means on some days you have quite a small calorie allowance, which means you can bank the others for days when you are going to eat more.

IF has several different versions. One where you have windows of time in which you can eat your food and the others where you have fast days.

Both these might be worth trying out.

Thank you for the suggestion I don't think I could handle Intermittent fasting, but I have tried calorie cycling a lot and read a lot about it. Some days I only eat 1,000-1,200 calories to save my calories for another day which is easy since my exercise does burn quiet a bit. I love the idea of calorie cycling, but it hasn't worked for me. It might sound weird, but it doesn't seem like calorie cycling is effective for me. If I save 500 calories during the week and use them during the weekend or even during a Friday, I end up gaining weight somehow, even though I'm only 250 calories above my limit (the 250 is from the ones I "saved") . I thought maybe it's water weight or from salt/sugar, but it's still there over a week later.

PinkPixiexox

You know yourself what the problem is and why you aren't able to lose those last pounds. I mean this in the nicest way possible - your family aren't forcing you to eat the food you eat. It certainly doesn't help when they are making 'less healthy' choices, I know that struggle too well. The majority of my family are overweight and when I visit, my mum is usually cooking a high calorie hearty meal for everyone. I always bring my own dinner and warm it up. I eat at the same time as them but my own healthy option. Every once in a while, I'll eat what Mum has cooked (because we are all allowed a treat) but I'm determined to stick to my healthy habits.

You can totally lose those 40lbs but it's going to take a lot of willpower on your part. Wishing you the best of luck!

lemurcat12

Meat, veg, and starch makes for a healthy meal -- just control your portions and eat more of the veg and the meat (if lean) and less of the starch and meat (if fatty). Control how much butter or oil you add, if that's an issue, and try to be aware of what's added in the cooking process.

With the extra snacks and such, that's a hard thing to learn to deal with, but figuring out how to fit it in/not overeat if others are eating it/it's around is something we all need to learn to do.

What I think is likely the bigger issue is you aren't logging so don't really know what you are eating (and your first post talks about thinking you should be able to eat some junk food -- which you can -- without it messing you up without it seeming like you have a good sense of what your calorie allowances are and how the food fits in). As you get slimmer the calorie allowance goes down (assuming exercise stays the same), so it's really helpful to monitor. More significantly, it's hard to properly monitor how many calories you are getting from higher cal foods unless you monitor and people often over estimate the calorie burn from exercise and think that if they exercise a lot they can eat anything. Sadly, no.

jenniator

PinkPixiexox wrote: »

You know yourself what the problem is and why you aren't able to lose those last pounds. I mean this in the nicest way possible - your family aren't forcing you to eat the food you eat. It certainly doesn't help when they are making 'less healthy' choices, I know that struggle too well. The majority of my family are overweight and when I visit, my mum is usually cooking a high calorie hearty meal for everyone. I always bring my own dinner and warm it up. I eat at the same time as them but my own healthy option. Every once in a while, I'll eat what Mum has cooked (because we are all allowed a treat) but I'm determined to stick to my healthy habits.

You can totally lose those 40lbs but it's going to take a lot of willpower on your part. Wishing you the best of luck!

I do know what the problem is, but at the same time, I'm still confused. I don't think a small amount of junk food every few days would be enough to make me gain weight, especially since I exercise 5 days a week for 93 minutes at a time. It just doesn't add up to me. Especially since I'm not eating a lot of it. I know my family isn't forcing me to eat the food, but they sure are making it a lot more difficult for me. Unfortunately, I can't afford to cook my own food separately. Me and my husband live with my parents in law at the moment. Only he has a income and I don't have a job at the moment. We do cook on Thursdays and Friday though. But if I don't cook things they like or are use too, they are upset and don't appreciate it. One time I made a great healthy dinner with drumsticks, a salad, and some beans to replace the portion of rice/pasta/potatoes. But of course they weren't very happy because there was none of the starches they like. So I do think they should be a little more understanding. But at the same time I do understand since they've been eating that way for most of their life and are a healthy weight, so it doesn't bother them. The dinners they like end up being 900 calories per meal! But that's fine since I just eat less during the day. But the hardest prat for me is the junk food. If they put it away somewhere, it wouldn't be so bad. Then they can still have it, but it's out of sight. Just when it's psychically in sight is when I have the issue. I have no problem if they have it, but put it away after their done. It's when they constantly leave it every where around the house that I have the problem because then I constantly see it and want to have some. But like I said, My dedicated to going to the gym is spot on! Just my will power to food is lacking. I am determined to lose the last 40 pounds, but it's extremely difficult for someone that has been addicted/obsessed with food all their life and is doing their best to resist food.

WinoGelato

OP you can eat the starches, or the "junk" food (I hate that term but you used it so I will too) and still lose weight. What matters is how much of them you are eating.

Are you logging everything? Weighing your food?

As others have said, and you have even said, this comes down to you and your choices. You have a challenging situation, that's a lot of people under one roof, but this is not an impossible situation. You don't have to eat the same food in the same portions that everyone else is. If you feel the starches are a problem, just eat the meat and vegetables, or a smaller amount of the starches. As far as the snacking goes, get things that you can snack on that help you meet your goals - veggies, air popped popcorn, fruit, yogurt, etc.

Good job on being committed to the exercise. You've lost a lot already, but when that happens, a lot of people have to make some tweaks in the process in order to continue to make progress. Don't blame your situation, just figure out what you need to do and do it.

Good luck!

dljones67

You can do this, you've been doing it for over a year. I know having sweets in site makes you want them, I have this temptation in view too (hubby's & son's snack corner). it comes down to will power. I know for me the less that I have Of those things (sweets & starches) the less that I crave them so I just don't eat them very often and way smaller portions when I do. Remember how far you've come. Fix your own meals and don't worry if they get upset, they'll get over it and you'll be back on track. I fix all my meals separately, adjusted for my goals. by the time I weigh everything out, I'm eating 15 minutes later than anybody else but that's okay. Best of luck to you hon.

jenniator

lemurcat12 wrote: »

Meat, veg, and starch makes for a healthy meal -- just control your portions and eat more of the veg and the meat (if lean) and less of the starch and meat (if fatty). Control how much butter or oil you add, if that's an issue, and try to be aware of what's added in the cooking process.

With the extra snacks and such, that's a hard thing to learn to deal with, but figuring out how to fit it in/not overeat if others are eating it/it's around is something we all need to learn to do.

What I think is likely the bigger issue is you aren't logging so don't really know what you are eating (and your first post talks about thinking you should be able to eat some junk food -- which you can -- without it messing you up without it seeming like you have a good sense of what your calorie allowances are and how the food fits in). As you get slimmer the calorie allowance goes down (assuming exercise stays the same), so it's really helpful to monitor. More significantly, it's hard to properly monitor how many calories you are getting from higher cal foods unless you monitor and people often over estimate the calorie burn from exercise and think that if they exercise a lot they can eat anything. Sadly, no.

I know Meat, veg, starch, is a healthy meal, but you should see how much pasta/rice they eat! The portions are out of whack. They eat more starch then meat/veggie combined. It's hard to control the meal since every day, someone else is cooking. I do my best on the days I cook, but it's hard when they want me to cook only the way they prefer. I do add a lot less butter/oil when I cook of course. It really is hard not to over eat. I use to be 240 pounds, so of course I have a unhealthy relationship with food. 1 year has made a huge difference, but it takes a lot longer than that to fix a problem I've been having my whole life. When I do eat junk food, it is way less than before! I use to eat a whole box of chocolate, cookies, chips, ect at one sitting. Now I only take a few. Yesterday I did have a weakness though and I ate 6 cookies and a few chocolate. But that was only around 300 calories for the cookies and another 300-350ish for the chocolates. So 600-650 cal in total. They would probably be my exercise calories, so I don't understand how i could gain weight when I'm within the 2,000 limit. I think I should just stay the same. Believe it or not, I really do calculate all the calories I eat. Just because I don't write them down on mfp, doesn't mean I don't write them down on paper. I know all the breakfast foods I eat and snacks. For breakfast, I eat 1 piece of bread with 2 slices of turkey (115 cal), 30 grams of Brinta which is a wheat oatmeal (105 cal), a breakfast bar (75 cal per bar), yogurt with berries (125cal), for lunch I've been having the same thing or sometimes chicken soup (216 cal), pumpkin/tomato soup (200 cal). Dinners are a little harder to track on the days I'm not cooking since I don't know every oil/ingredient. But I have made many of the same dishes and calculated the calories of each item. The highest ends up being around 900 cal. So I always put it around 950-1000 cal to be safe. I even calculate my snacks if I have any. Dark chocolate 2 squares (125 cal), special K bar (100 cal), banana (around 115), apple (110), ect. Even if I sneak junk food, I'm calculating the calories and being mindful. I make sure I don't go over my limit. Some days I'm around 1,900-2,000 calories because of a bit of too much junk food. But I still gain weight. I would think I would stay the same. A lot of my family think I'm crazy for weighing my food, but they don't understand it's important if you are losing weight. The hardest for me to calculate is the elliptical calories. I go for 93 minutes and the monitor says I burn 960 calories. But I always say I probably burn around 480-600 to be safe. But I'm not 100% how much I burn, but I don't over estimate the calories from it.

PinkPixiexox

jenniator wrote: »

PinkPixiexox wrote: »

You know yourself what the problem is and why you aren't able to lose those last pounds. I mean this in the nicest way possible - your family aren't forcing you to eat the food you eat. It certainly doesn't help when they are making 'less healthy' choices, I know that struggle too well. The majority of my family are overweight and when I visit, my mum is usually cooking a high calorie hearty meal for everyone. I always bring my own dinner and warm it up. I eat at the same time as them but my own healthy option. Every once in a while, I'll eat what Mum has cooked (because we are all allowed a treat) but I'm determined to stick to my healthy habits.

You can totally lose those 40lbs but it's going to take a lot of willpower on your part. Wishing you the best of luck!

I do know what the problem is, but at the same time, I'm still confused. I don't think a small amount of junk food every few days would be enough to make me gain weight, especially since I exercise 5 days a week for 93 minutes at a time. It just doesn't add up to me. Especially since I'm not eating a lot of it. I know my family isn't forcing me to eat the food, but they sure are making it a lot more difficult for me. Unfortunately, I can't afford to cook my own food separately. Me and my husband live with my parents in law at the moment. Only he has a income and I don't have a job at the moment. We do cook on Thursdays and Friday though. But if I don't cook things they like or are use too, they are upset and don't appreciate it. One time I made a great healthy dinner with drumsticks, a salad, and some beans to replace the portion of rice/pasta/potatoes. But of course they weren't very happy because there was none of the starches they like. So I do think they should be a little more understanding. But at the same time I do understand since they've been eating that way for most of their life and are a healthy weight, so it doesn't bother them. The dinners they like end up being 900 calories per meal! But that's fine since I just eat less during the day. But the hardest prat for me is the junk food. If they put it away somewhere, it wouldn't be so bad. Then they can still have it, but it's out of sight. Just when it's psychically in sight is when I have the issue. I have no problem if they have it, but put it away after their done. It's when they constantly leave it every where around the house that I have the problem because then I constantly see it and want to have some. But like I said, My dedicated to going to the gym is spot on! Just my will power to food is lacking. I am determined to lose the last 40 pounds, but it's extremely difficult for someone that has been addicted/obsessed with food all their life and is doing their best to resist food.

The bolded - do you know how many calories you are consuming when you eat your junk food every few days?

It's really important to track and log and weigh your food. Portion control was my biggest downfall and once I got that under control, I was on track.

hupsii

Tell yourself you are not on a "sea-food diet" - you see food and eat it - I tell myself this all the time - I see food but I don't have to eat it !!!

WinoGelato

I never understand how people come onto the MFP forums, talk about not being able to lose weight, and it turns out they are tracking their calories on paper. Why? You have this tool, simple, easy to use (most of the time), that enables you to track everything you eat, whether you buy it (scan it or use a preexisting database entry) prepare it yourself (use the recipe builder) or someone else cooks it for you (search and I'm sure you'll find something similar).

OP you are eating more than you think, burning less than you think, or both. That's the reason you aren't losing weight. Not your living situation or the "junk food" snacking.

Try logging on MFP for a week, ideally a month, using a food scale. I bet you'll be surprised what those calorie counts look like.

jenniator

WinoGelato wrote: »

OP you can eat the starches, or the "junk" food (I hate that term but you used it so I will too) and still lose weight. What matters is how much of them you are eating.

Are you logging everything? Weighing your food?

As others have said, and you have even said, this comes down to you and your choices. You have a challenging situation, that's a lot of people under one roof, but this is not an impossible situation. You don't have to eat the same food in the same portions that everyone else is. If you feel the starches are a problem, just eat the meat and vegetables, or a smaller amount of the starches. As far as the snacking goes, get things that you can snack on that help you meet your goals - veggies, air popped popcorn, fruit, yogurt, etc.

Good job on being committed to the exercise. You've lost a lot already, but when that happens, a lot of people have to make some tweaks in the process in order to continue to make progress. Don't blame your situation, just figure out what you need to do and do it.

Good luck!

I know you can eat starches and junk food while losing weight. I've lost 64 pounds eating large amounts pasta/rice/potatoes every night. But I make sure they fit within my limit. I normally eat less during the day, so I can fit that large amount in my calories. I also have been eating junk food while losing weight. I just seems like since I got into the 40 something weight left, that I've been struggling more, even though I eat the same things as I did before. Yes I do weigh/log all my food, but mostly on paper since I'm not always on the computer. In another post on this fourm, I went into more detail about that.

It really is a challenging situation, that's for sure. Sometimes it does feel impossible. The problem is, there is always more starch than veggie/meat combined. So I would still be hungry afterwards. That's why I kinda adjusted my life to fit their preference (eating less in the day so I can eat more at night.) The worse part is, they won't even let me make brown rice or whole grain pasta just because they don't "like the taste." I have been getting healthier snacks, but the junk food constant being there sways me. It hasn't really been a problem until a few months ago when they've been buying excessive amounts and leaving it everywhere. I just don't understand when they can't bring it to their room or put it back in the closet when there done. Why does it have to be on the table and everywhere? I don't mind that they get junk food, but I just wish they would be a little consider it by not leaving it in plain sight. Especially when they know it's incredible hard for me.

FunSizedKJ

jenniator wrote: »

lemurcat12 wrote: »

Meat, veg, and starch makes for a healthy meal -- just control your portions and eat more of the veg and the meat (if lean) and less of the starch and meat (if fatty). Control how much butter or oil you add, if that's an issue, and try to be aware of what's added in the cooking process.

With the extra snacks and such, that's a hard thing to learn to deal with, but figuring out how to fit it in/not overeat if others are eating it/it's around is something we all need to learn to do.

What I think is likely the bigger issue is you aren't logging so don't really know what you are eating (and your first post talks about thinking you should be able to eat some junk food -- which you can -- without it messing you up without it seeming like you have a good sense of what your calorie allowances are and how the food fits in). As you get slimmer the calorie allowance goes down (assuming exercise stays the same), so it's really helpful to monitor. More significantly, it's hard to properly monitor how many calories you are getting from higher cal foods unless you monitor and people often over estimate the calorie burn from exercise and think that if they exercise a lot they can eat anything. Sadly, no.

I know Meat, veg, starch, is a healthy meal, but you should see how much pasta/rice they eat! The portions are out of whack. They eat more starch then meat/veggie combined. It's hard to control the meal since every day, someone else is cooking. I do my best on the days I cook, but it's hard when they want me to cook only the way they prefer. I do add a lot less butter/oil when I cook of course. It really is hard not to over eat. I use to be 240 pounds, so of course I have a unhealthy relationship with food. 1 year has made a huge difference, but it takes a lot longer than that to fix a problem I've been having my whole life. When I do eat junk food, it is way less than before! I use to eat a whole box of chocolate, cookies, chips, ect at one sitting. Now I only take a few. Yesterday I did have a weakness though and I ate 6 cookies and a few chocolate. But that was only around 300 calories for the cookies and another 300-350ish for the chocolates. So 600-650 cal in total. They would probably be my exercise calories, so I don't understand how i could gain weight when I'm within the 2,000 limit. I think I should just stay the same. Believe it or not, I really do calculate all the calories I eat. Just because I don't write them down on mfp, doesn't mean I don't write them down on paper. I know all the breakfast foods I eat and snacks. For breakfast, I eat 1 piece of bread with 2 slices of turkey (115 cal), 30 grams of Brinta which is a wheat oatmeal (105 cal), a breakfast bar (75 cal per bar), yogurt with berries (125cal), for lunch I've been having the same thing or sometimes chicken soup (216 cal), pumpkin/tomato soup (200 cal). Dinners are a little harder to track on the days I'm not cooking since I don't know every oil/ingredient. But I have made many of the same dishes and calculated the calories of each item. The highest ends up being around 900 cal. So I always put it around 950-1000 cal to be safe. I even calculate my snacks if I have any. Dark chocolate 2 squares (125 cal), special K bar (100 cal), banana (around 115), apple (110), ect. Even if I sneak junk food, I'm calculating the calories and being mindful. I make sure I don't go over my limit. Some days I'm around 1,900-2,000 calories because of a bit of too much junk food. But I still gain weight. I would think I would stay the same. A lot of my family think I'm crazy for weighing my food, but they don't understand it's important if you are losing weight. The hardest for me to calculate is the elliptical calories. I go for 93 minutes and the monitor says I burn 960 calories. But I always say I probably burn around 480-600 to be safe. But I'm not 100% how much I burn, but I don't over estimate the calories from it.

How tall are you? 1,900-2,000 would be too high for me to lose any weight on but I'm 5'3". What are you estimating your exercise cals to be and what does your exercise include (93 minutes of walking isn't the same as 93 minutes of circuit training or weight lifting or running or whatever else)?

LKArgh

OP, please understand what you are saying:
You are living with a family where people are thin. But you refuse to eat what they are eating, because it will hinder your progress, yet choose to eat junk food because you think it is ok since you exercise.
It does not work this way. Your relatives are not thinner because they have magical abilities. They are thinner because they eat less calories than you, or burn more calories, or both. So, actually following their example, and leading a similar lifestyle, would help you lose weight, not stop your weight loss.
Stop with the junk food, you will never outrun a bad diet. Stop thinking of carbs as evil, and focus on portion control. Stop blaming the people who are giving you a place to stay. Stop blaming your genes for not being as good as your relatives, there is no such thing.
Count calories, be honest, do not expect to burn enough calories to make up for high calorie treats, stop avoiding entire food groups, and start working on portion control. And if you feel like eating junk, track it.

ndj1979

jenniator wrote: »

lemurcat12 wrote: »

Meat, veg, and starch makes for a healthy meal -- just control your portions and eat more of the veg and the meat (if lean) and less of the starch and meat (if fatty). Control how much butter or oil you add, if that's an issue, and try to be aware of what's added in the cooking process.

With the extra snacks and such, that's a hard thing to learn to deal with, but figuring out how to fit it in/not overeat if others are eating it/it's around is something we all need to learn to do.

What I think is likely the bigger issue is you aren't logging so don't really know what you are eating (and your first post talks about thinking you should be able to eat some junk food -- which you can -- without it messing you up without it seeming like you have a good sense of what your calorie allowances are and how the food fits in). As you get slimmer the calorie allowance goes down (assuming exercise stays the same), so it's really helpful to monitor. More significantly, it's hard to properly monitor how many calories you are getting from higher cal foods unless you monitor and people often over estimate the calorie burn from exercise and think that if they exercise a lot they can eat anything. Sadly, no.

I know Meat, veg, starch, is a healthy meal, but you should see how much pasta/rice they eat! The portions are out of whack. They eat more starch then meat/veggie combined. It's hard to control the meal since every day, someone else is cooking. I do my best on the days I cook, but it's hard when they want me to cook only the way they prefer. I do add a lot less butter/oil when I cook of course. It really is hard not to over eat. I use to be 240 pounds, so of course I have a unhealthy relationship with food. 1 year has made a huge difference, but it takes a lot longer than that to fix a problem I've been having my whole life. When I do eat junk food, it is way less than before! I use to eat a whole box of chocolate, cookies, chips, ect at one sitting. Now I only take a few. Yesterday I did have a weakness though and I ate 6 cookies and a few chocolate. But that was only around 300 calories for the cookies and another 300-350ish for the chocolates. So 600-650 cal in total. They would probably be my exercise calories, so I don't understand how i could gain weight when I'm within the 2,000 limit. I think I should just stay the same. Believe it or not, I really do calculate all the calories I eat. Just because I don't write them down on mfp, doesn't mean I don't write them down on paper. I know all the breakfast foods I eat and snacks. For breakfast, I eat 1 piece of bread with 2 slices of turkey (115 cal), 30 grams of Brinta which is a wheat oatmeal (105 cal), a breakfast bar (75 cal per bar), yogurt with berries (125cal), for lunch I've been having the same thing or sometimes chicken soup (216 cal), pumpkin/tomato soup (200 cal). Dinners are a little harder to track on the days I'm not cooking since I don't know every oil/ingredient. But I have made many of the same dishes and calculated the calories of each item. The highest ends up being around 900 cal. So I always put it around 950-1000 cal to be safe. I even calculate my snacks if I have any. Dark chocolate 2 squares (125 cal), special K bar (100 cal), banana (around 115), apple (110), ect. Even if I sneak junk food, I'm calculating the calories and being mindful. I make sure I don't go over my limit. Some days I'm around 1,900-2,000 calories because of a bit of too much junk food. But I still gain weight. I would think I would stay the same. A lot of my family think I'm crazy for weighing my food, but they don't understand it's important if you are losing weight. The hardest for me to calculate is the elliptical calories. I go for 93 minutes and the monitor says I burn 960 calories. But I always say I probably burn around 480-600 to be safe. But I'm not 100% how much I burn, but I don't over estimate the calories from it.

You need to reread what you are writing. YOu are saying "around" or "should be" that means you are not accurately logging. I can look at any day in my diary and tell you exactly what i ate and how many calories it was.

OP here is your problem.

inaccurate logging.
not using a food scale
eating back 100% of exercise calories.

solution:

use MFP To log/track everything.
get a food scale to weigh all solids
only eat back half of exercise calories

LKArgh

And stop thinkign about something you will be done with after you lose 40 or 60 lbs. If you go back to snacking on cookies and chocolate without watching portions, you will simply gain it all back. Make it a lifestyle change, not a diet.

jenniator

FunSizedKJ wrote: »

jenniator wrote: »

lemurcat12 wrote: »

Meat, veg, and starch makes for a healthy meal -- just control your portions and eat more of the veg and the meat (if lean) and less of the starch and meat (if fatty). Control how much butter or oil you add, if that's an issue, and try to be aware of what's added in the cooking process.

With the extra snacks and such, that's a hard thing to learn to deal with, but figuring out how to fit it in/not overeat if others are eating it/it's around is something we all need to learn to do.

What I think is likely the bigger issue is you aren't logging so don't really know what you are eating (and your first post talks about thinking you should be able to eat some junk food -- which you can -- without it messing you up without it seeming like you have a good sense of what your calorie allowances are and how the food fits in). As you get slimmer the calorie allowance goes down (assuming exercise stays the same), so it's really helpful to monitor. More significantly, it's hard to properly monitor how many calories you are getting from higher cal foods unless you monitor and people often over estimate the calorie burn from exercise and think that if they exercise a lot they can eat anything. Sadly, no.

I know Meat, veg, starch, is a healthy meal, but you should see how much pasta/rice they eat! The portions are out of whack. They eat more starch then meat/veggie combined. It's hard to control the meal since every day, someone else is cooking. I do my best on the days I cook, but it's hard when they want me to cook only the way they prefer. I do add a lot less butter/oil when I cook of course. It really is hard not to over eat. I use to be 240 pounds, so of course I have a unhealthy relationship with food. 1 year has made a huge difference, but it takes a lot longer than that to fix a problem I've been having my whole life. When I do eat junk food, it is way less than before! I use to eat a whole box of chocolate, cookies, chips, ect at one sitting. Now I only take a few. Yesterday I did have a weakness though and I ate 6 cookies and a few chocolate. But that was only around 300 calories for the cookies and another 300-350ish for the chocolates. So 600-650 cal in total. They would probably be my exercise calories, so I don't understand how i could gain weight when I'm within the 2,000 limit. I think I should just stay the same. Believe it or not, I really do calculate all the calories I eat. Just because I don't write them down on mfp, doesn't mean I don't write them down on paper. I know all the breakfast foods I eat and snacks. For breakfast, I eat 1 piece of bread with 2 slices of turkey (115 cal), 30 grams of Brinta which is a wheat oatmeal (105 cal), a breakfast bar (75 cal per bar), yogurt with berries (125cal), for lunch I've been having the same thing or sometimes chicken soup (216 cal), pumpkin/tomato soup (200 cal). Dinners are a little harder to track on the days I'm not cooking since I don't know every oil/ingredient. But I have made many of the same dishes and calculated the calories of each item. The highest ends up being around 900 cal. So I always put it around 950-1000 cal to be safe. I even calculate my snacks if I have any. Dark chocolate 2 squares (125 cal), special K bar (100 cal), banana (around 115), apple (110), ect. Even if I sneak junk food, I'm calculating the calories and being mindful. I make sure I don't go over my limit. Some days I'm around 1,900-2,000 calories because of a bit of too much junk food. But I still gain weight. I would think I would stay the same. A lot of my family think I'm crazy for weighing my food, but they don't understand it's important if you are losing weight. The hardest for me to calculate is the elliptical calories. I go for 93 minutes and the monitor says I burn 960 calories. But I always say I probably burn around 480-600 to be safe. But I'm not 100% how much I burn, but I don't over estimate the calories from it.

How tall are you? 1,900-2,000 would be too high for me to lose any weight on but I'm 5'3". What are you estimating your exercise cals to be and what does your exercise include (93 minutes of walking isn't the same as 93 minutes of circuit training or weight lifting or running or whatever else)?

I'm 5'6 and I know 1,900-2,000 is way to high to lose weight. But that's around my "maintenance level." and the amount I eat during my off days to try and stay the same. When losing weight, I eat around 1,400-1,600. But I still end up gaining weight even if I do eat around 1,900-2,000. I do 93 minutes of exercise on the elliptical. The monitor says I burn 960, but I estimate it to be around 480-600 to be on the safer side. I do weight lifting 2-3 times during the week, but I don't calculate those calories.

LKArgh

jenniator wrote: »

FunSizedKJ wrote: »

jenniator wrote: »

lemurcat12 wrote: »

Meat, veg, and starch makes for a healthy meal -- just control your portions and eat more of the veg and the meat (if lean) and less of the starch and meat (if fatty). Control how much butter or oil you add, if that's an issue, and try to be aware of what's added in the cooking process.

With the extra snacks and such, that's a hard thing to learn to deal with, but figuring out how to fit it in/not overeat if others are eating it/it's around is something we all need to learn to do.

What I think is likely the bigger issue is you aren't logging so don't really know what you are eating (and your first post talks about thinking you should be able to eat some junk food -- which you can -- without it messing you up without it seeming like you have a good sense of what your calorie allowances are and how the food fits in). As you get slimmer the calorie allowance goes down (assuming exercise stays the same), so it's really helpful to monitor. More significantly, it's hard to properly monitor how many calories you are getting from higher cal foods unless you monitor and people often over estimate the calorie burn from exercise and think that if they exercise a lot they can eat anything. Sadly, no.

I know Meat, veg, starch, is a healthy meal, but you should see how much pasta/rice they eat! The portions are out of whack. They eat more starch then meat/veggie combined. It's hard to control the meal since every day, someone else is cooking. I do my best on the days I cook, but it's hard when they want me to cook only the way they prefer. I do add a lot less butter/oil when I cook of course. It really is hard not to over eat. I use to be 240 pounds, so of course I have a unhealthy relationship with food. 1 year has made a huge difference, but it takes a lot longer than that to fix a problem I've been having my whole life. When I do eat junk food, it is way less than before! I use to eat a whole box of chocolate, cookies, chips, ect at one sitting. Now I only take a few. Yesterday I did have a weakness though and I ate 6 cookies and a few chocolate. But that was only around 300 calories for the cookies and another 300-350ish for the chocolates. So 600-650 cal in total. They would probably be my exercise calories, so I don't understand how i could gain weight when I'm within the 2,000 limit. I think I should just stay the same. Believe it or not, I really do calculate all the calories I eat. Just because I don't write them down on mfp, doesn't mean I don't write them down on paper. I know all the breakfast foods I eat and snacks. For breakfast, I eat 1 piece of bread with 2 slices of turkey (115 cal), 30 grams of Brinta which is a wheat oatmeal (105 cal), a breakfast bar (75 cal per bar), yogurt with berries (125cal), for lunch I've been having the same thing or sometimes chicken soup (216 cal), pumpkin/tomato soup (200 cal). Dinners are a little harder to track on the days I'm not cooking since I don't know every oil/ingredient. But I have made many of the same dishes and calculated the calories of each item. The highest ends up being around 900 cal. So I always put it around 950-1000 cal to be safe. I even calculate my snacks if I have any. Dark chocolate 2 squares (125 cal), special K bar (100 cal), banana (around 115), apple (110), ect. Even if I sneak junk food, I'm calculating the calories and being mindful. I make sure I don't go over my limit. Some days I'm around 1,900-2,000 calories because of a bit of too much junk food. But I still gain weight. I would think I would stay the same. A lot of my family think I'm crazy for weighing my food, but they don't understand it's important if you are losing weight. The hardest for me to calculate is the elliptical calories. I go for 93 minutes and the monitor says I burn 960 calories. But I always say I probably burn around 480-600 to be safe. But I'm not 100% how much I burn, but I don't over estimate the calories from it.

How tall are you? 1,900-2,000 would be too high for me to lose any weight on but I'm 5'3". What are you estimating your exercise cals to be and what does your exercise include (93 minutes of walking isn't the same as 93 minutes of circuit training or weight lifting or running or whatever else)?

I'm 5'6 and I know 1,900-2,000 is way to high to lose weight. But that's around my "maintenance level." and the amount I eat during my off days to try and stay the same. When losing weight, I eat around 1,400-1,600. But I still end up gaining weight even if I do eat around 1,900-2,000. I do 93 minutes of exercise on the elliptical. The monitor says I burn 960, but I estimate it to be around 480-600 to be on the safer side. I do weight lifting 2-3 times during the week, but I don't calculate those calories.

So you have your answer: you are eating too much. Calorie goals are never exact, and it sounds like you are not that careful about counting either. Most probably, your maintenance is not 2000, and you are not eating what you think you are eating either if you are not counting everything. You seem upset, as in somehow the world or at least calorie counting app are to blame for you gaining, when the simple way to fix it is to start eating less, until you can find your true maintenance.

snowflakesav

You have made so much progress and you know what you need to do to lose the next 40 or 50 pounds. Start living your life like the thin person you are becoming. Find more ways to engage in a more active lifestyle. I don't mean more exercise...just spending more time up and about doing things. Go bowling or take a class. Walk everywhere. Get yourself into the mode of living like a thin 40 year old.

jenniator

aggelikik wrote: »

OP, please understand what you are saying:
You are living with a family where people are thin. But you refuse to eat what they are eating, because it will hinder your progress, yet choose to eat junk food because you think it is ok since you exercise.
It does not work this way. Your relatives are not thinner because they have magical abilities. They are thinner because they eat less calories than you, or burn more calories, or both. So, actually following their example, and leading a similar lifestyle, would help you lose weight, not stop your weight loss.
Stop with the junk food, you will never outrun a bad diet. Stop thinking of carbs as evil, and focus on portion control. Stop blaming the people who are giving you a place to stay. Stop blaming your genes for not being as good as your relatives, there is no such thing.
Count calories, be honest, do not expect to burn enough calories to make up for high calorie treats, stop avoiding entire food groups, and start working on portion control. And if you feel like eating junk, track it.

Sorry but you are joking right? I said in my post and other posts that I changed my lifestyle and eating habits to fit their preference. I never use to eat so much bread, but it's the only thing they buy and it's the only thing they eat for breakfast/lunch. So I eat it in smaller quantities. I only eat 1 slice of bread with 2 slices of turkey instead of 2 slices of bread. Then for dinner they eat meals that come around 900 calories. So I choose to eat less during the day so I can fit that large amount in my calorie goal. Then it's not really a problem. The only issue I have is that they leave junk food everywhere around the house. I would appreciate it if they could clean it up a little so it's not in plain sight. Take it to their room or put it in the cabinet when there done would be really nice. Eating a bit too much junk food has been one obstacle I've been having trouble over coming, so I would appreciate a little understanding on their part. Also I don't think carbs are evil, just that they are high in calories. I'm also not blaming them or blaming my genes. I don't know where you got the blaming my genes from lol. I never said anything about that. But I'm not blaming my family in law for the way they eat. Especially since they've been eating that way for their whole life. I have adjusted my lifestyle to their preference. All I said is I would appreciate if they were a little more sympathetic/understanding and put the junk food away when they were finished instead of leaving it laying around the whole house.

WinoGelato

Maybe you should talk to them instead of venting all your frustrations on here to a bunch of people who are not in your situation...

LKArgh

jenniator wrote: »

aggelikik wrote: »

OP, please understand what you are saying:
You are living with a family where people are thin. But you refuse to eat what they are eating, because it will hinder your progress, yet choose to eat junk food because you think it is ok since you exercise.
It does not work this way. Your relatives are not thinner because they have magical abilities. They are thinner because they eat less calories than you, or burn more calories, or both. So, actually following their example, and leading a similar lifestyle, would help you lose weight, not stop your weight loss.
Stop with the junk food, you will never outrun a bad diet. Stop thinking of carbs as evil, and focus on portion control. Stop blaming the people who are giving you a place to stay. Stop blaming your genes for not being as good as your relatives, there is no such thing.
Count calories, be honest, do not expect to burn enough calories to make up for high calorie treats, stop avoiding entire food groups, and start working on portion control. And if you feel like eating junk, track it.

Sorry but you are joking right? I said in my post and other posts that I changed my lifestyle and eating habits to fit their preference. I never use to eat so much bread, but it's the only thing they buy and it's the only thing they eat for breakfast/lunch. So I eat it in smaller quantities. I only eat 1 slice with 2 slices of turkey instead of 2 slices of bread. Then for dinner they eat meals that come around 900 calories. So I choose to eat less during the day so I can fit that large amount in my calorie goal. Then it's not really a problem. The only issue I have is that they leave junk food everywhere around the house. I would appreciate it if they could clean it up a little so it's not in plain sight. Take it to their room or put it in the cabinet when there done would be really nice. Eating a bit too much junk food has been one obstacle I've been having trouble over coming, so I would appreciate a little understanding on their part. Also I don't think carbs are evil, just that they are high in calories. I'm also not blaming them or blaming my genes. I don't know where you got the blaming my genes from lol. I never said anything about that. But I'm not blaming my family in law for the way they eat. Especially since they've been eating that way for their whole life. I have adjusted my lifestyle to their preference. All I said is I would appreciate if they were a little more sympathetic/understanding and put the junk food away when they were finished instead of leaving it laying around the whole house.

Your in-laws are thin. So what they are doing is keeping them thin. You are heavier than them. If you did what they are doing, you would be as thin as they are. Of course scaling things down to your height, if e.g. your father in law is double your size because he is extremely tall, you do not get to eat the same portion size. Their food is not "bad" for maintaining a healthy weight as you seem to think, proof being that they are at a healthy weight.
As for junk food or whatever else, who is the house owner? If you are a guest, you do not get to tell people what they can or cannot buy. And come to think about it, overindulging by eating the treats they bought, is not nice manners either. I bought e.g. a bag of chocolates, which in my home will last throughout the week. If I had a house guest who decided to just eat half the bag and then was upset because I was responsible for hidign it in my own home, I would have considered this exceptionally rude. Unless the guest is 5 years old.

jenniator

WinoGelato wrote: »

Maybe you should talk to them instead of venting all your frustrations on here to a bunch of people who are not in your situation...

I have tried talking to them, many times. My mother in law is a bit old fashion. She thinks rice/potatoes/pasta are really healthy, best for filling up, and have not many calories in them. She even puts a lot of olive oil on salads or butter in the pan since she believes they aren't high in calories and healthy. Which they are healthy, but just have high calories. Also I didn't mean to come off as venting, I just really wanted to hear other people's opinion and advice. Also I was clarifying my situation on some posts.

WinoGelato

Also what do you mean when you say they leave it laying around everywhere. Is the food not in the kitchen? Or maybe the dining room? Is it literally laying out on every surface in the house? You want them to take it to their room so you don't have to be around it, why don't you go to your room if you don't want to be near it? What does your husband say about all this? I'm sure he's proud of you for the weight you've lost, do you talk to him about the frustrations you are feeling?

Personally I think living with that many people would be stressful and you are choosing to focus on the food situation because that's probably the most benign of the challenges of living with so many adults and a new baby under one roof...

FunSizedKJ

After you lost the 64 lbs did you recalculate your allowed calories? Maintenance at 240 lbs is way different than maintenance at 176 lbs, so that may be something to consider. Just plopping it into a google-searched calorie calculator, maintenance at 240 is around 2200 and maintenance at 175 is just below 1900.

I know it has been mentioned before, but the estimating has to stop. Weight loss gets harder as you get closer to a healthy weight, I'm sure you already know this. Getting a food scale and truly weighing your food will help. Overestimating on portions is easy. In the beginning, it isn't such a big deal because a little bit of overestimating won't completely destroy your deficit. Now that your window of what calorie intake will create a true deficit is getting tighter, you have less room for wiggle room. Those high calorie-low nutrient foods are going to add up over the week and kill your progress.

Bacchants

You are the one changing your lifestyle, not them. If they don't want to change you can't force them, and it's somewhat unreasonable for you to expect them to hide junk food because otherwise you will eat it. Just because it's there, doesn't mean you need to eat it.

Can you ask to have your dinner on a smaller plate? I imagine the dinner is only 900 calories if you have the same size portion. Ask for half and have it on a smaller plate. Half a portion on a bit plate looks sad, but on a small plate it looks fine.

LKArgh

Or maybe they are thinner, because their lifestyle is different, so you could follow their example in other ways? Like walk or cycle instead of using a car for example, if thsi is the case? And why can't you buy your own food and eat your salad or whatever works for you? Why do you all need to do things the same way?

WinoGelato

jenniator wrote: »

WinoGelato wrote: »

Maybe you should talk to them instead of venting all your frustrations on here to a bunch of people who are not in your situation...

I have tried talking to them, many times. My mother in law is a bit old fashion. She thinks rice/potatoes/pasta are really healthy, best for filling up, and have not many calories in them. She even puts a lot of olive oil on salads or butter in the pan since she believes they aren't high in calories and healthy. Which they are healthy, but just have high calories. Also I didn't mean to come off as venting, I just really wanted to hear other people's opinion and advice. Also I was clarifying my situation on some posts.

Is your mother in law force feeding you the starches? I know you said that's what there is the most of, but maybe try just taking a smaller serving.

ndj1979

Op - you are eating too much food. Reduce your calorie intake and you will start losing.
The end

ndj1979

jenniator wrote: »

WinoGelato wrote: »

Maybe you should talk to them instead of venting all your frustrations on here to a bunch of people who are not in your situation...

I have tried talking to them, many times. My mother in law is a bit old fashion. She thinks rice/potatoes/pasta are really healthy, best for filling up, and have not many calories in them. She even puts a lot of olive oil on salads or butter in the pan since she believes they aren't high in calories and healthy. Which they are healthy, but just have high calories. Also I didn't mean to come off as venting, I just really wanted to hear other people's opinion and advice. Also I was clarifying my situation on some posts.

Then cook your own dinner and don't eat what she cooks...or eat less of what she cooks...

Life is about decisions