What was your motivation?

misty83rn

Successful Ladies and Gentlemen:
Im sure like so many of us attempting to lose weight you had many ups and downs... maybe even failed to many attempts to count. So my question for you is, What made it work for you this time? What did you do different? What changed in your mindset? I have been off and on this roller coaster so many times, losing, gaining, losing, gaining. What makes a person decide and actually KEEP GOING. My last round I lost 17lbs man I never felt so motivated (even more so then the time I lost 50) I thought man, Im really gonna reach my goal this time, and I actually believed it. But no I crashed again.. gave up, back to old ways. I know I can lose weight, Ive done it. I don't know why I keep quitting. I know I have drive - I started nursing school while having a 3yr old and a 4 week old. Im beginning to think obviously I don't want it bad enough... to d*** lazy?? Ugh any input is greatly appreciated! :-)

Timshel_

You don't get it to work and it's done. It is a learned practice and habits that change your life to align with your goals.

When I started I was gungho like everyone, and every day had to be measured and calculated, and I lived and breathed this new massively changed fitness life. When I FAILED, it defeated me and I mentally flogged myself.

"I KNOW I can lose 10 pounds in two weeks like all those people I see!", I would tell myself!

Time and time again for the last years I was on and off, having success and set backs.

Then I stepped back and looked at some very simple facts.

First, it took years of neglecting health and moderation to get to the point I was at, it was ridiculous to think it would change in a few months (just read all those, I need to lose 30 pounds next week" threads).

Second, it took realizing that it is a learned process with trail and error. I see so many people (myself before) that jump all-in to all the crazy gimmicky diets, fads, exercise schemes, etc, and they just expect it will work in a linear fashion. The reality is, learning and reinforcing the new habits of a healthier lifestyle are like learning a new instrument or sport. You don't pick up a guitar because you saw someone in concert playing and expect to play exactly like they do. They practiced and worked on it for years and taught their body to be better and better. Yup, EXACTLY the same with training yourself to make the best choices, and having those choices become habits.

Last, NOTHING that happens over a week choice wise is going to ruin progress if you are really committed to and understand that health is a life long activity and not a quick, one-stop destination. You always want to have the mindset of improving yourself, and each time you reach a new healthy goal you will find the next. So a week of enjoying life is a life well lived, but within the context of a life being lived as healthy as possible.

When you look at things from a larger and longer view, you feel more in control of everything. Days, rounds, 'this time' all becomes irrelevant to making the best choices as often as possible, as often as you can.

All the best.

cwolfman13

I never started out trying to lose weight...my motivation was simply health and trying to reverse a lot of bad blood work and health markers. when I started eating in a way that would improve those markers and getting in regular exercise, the rest just took care of itself.

three years later and I'm still good livin'...because good livin' is for life.

misty83rn

Chaelaz wrote: »

You don't get it to work and it's done. It is a learned practice and habits that change your life to align with your goals.

When I started I was gungho like everyone, and every day had to be measured and calculated, and I lived and breathed this new massively changed fitness life. When I FAILED, it defeated me and I mentally flogged myself.

"I KNOW I can lose 10 pounds in two weeks like all those people I see!", I would tell myself!

Time and time again for the last years I was on and off, having success and set backs.

Then I stepped back and looked at some very simple facts.

First, it took years of neglecting health and moderation to get to the point I was at, it was ridiculous to think it would change in a few months (just read all those, I need to lose 30 pounds next week" threads).

Second, it took realizing that it is a learned process with trail and error. I see so many people (myself before) that jump all-in to all the crazy gimmicky diets, fads, exercise schemes, etc, and they just expect it will work in a linear fashion. The reality is, learning and reinforcing the new habits of a healthier lifestyle are like learning a new instrument or sport. You don't pick up a guitar because you saw someone in concert playing and expect to play exactly like they do. They practiced and worked on it for years and taught their body to be better and better. Yup, EXACTLY the same with training yourself to make the best choices, and having those choices become habits.

Last, NOTHING that happens over a week choice wise is going to ruin progress if you are really committed to and understand that health is a life long activity and not a quick, one-stop destination. You always want to have the mindset of improving yourself, and each time you reach a new healthy goal you will find the next. So a week of enjoying life is a life well lived, but within the context of a life being lived as healthy as possible.

When you look at things from a larger and longer view, you feel more in control of everything. Days, rounds, 'this time' all becomes irrelevant to making the best choices as often as possible, as often as you can.

All the best.

This is great! I have never heard some of the things you say, put quite the way you did such as the guitar. This may be a big problem for me. I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person... put in the context you use that would be setting myself up for failure. (small steps oh wee one) lol :-) Thanks for your response!

Timshel_

misty83rn wrote: »

This is great! I have never heard some of the things you say, put quite the way you did such as the guitar. This may be a big problem for me. I tend to be an all or nothing kind of person... put in the context you use that would be setting myself up for failure. (small steps oh wee one) lol :-) Thanks for your response!

lol. I just read what I wrote and it kinda sounded a bit Transcendental, but I hope it makes sense. I think you nail it when you mentioned setting yourself up for failure.

vicky1947mfp

Chaelaz wrote: »

You don't get it to work and it's done. It is a learned practice and habits that change your life to align with your goals.

When I started I was gungho like everyone, and every day had to be measured and calculated, and I lived and breathed this new massively changed fitness life. When I FAILED, it defeated me and I mentally flogged myself.

"I KNOW I can lose 10 pounds in two weeks like all those people I see!", I would tell myself!

Time and time again for the last years I was on and off, having success and set backs.

Then I stepped back and looked at some very simple facts.

First, it took years of neglecting health and moderation to get to the point I was at, it was ridiculous to think it would change in a few months (just read all those, I need to lose 30 pounds next week" threads).

Second, it took realizing that it is a learned process with trail and error. I see so many people (myself before) that jump all-in to all the crazy gimmicky diets, fads, exercise schemes, etc, and they just expect it will work in a linear fashion. The reality is, learning and reinforcing the new habits of a healthier lifestyle are like learning a new instrument or sport. You don't pick up a guitar because you saw someone in concert playing and expect to play exactly like they do. They practiced and worked on it for years and taught their body to be better and better. Yup, EXACTLY the same with training yourself to make the best choices, and having those choices become habits.

Last, NOTHING that happens over a week choice wise is going to ruin progress if you are really committed to and understand that health is a life long activity and not a quick, one-stop destination. You always want to have the mindset of improving yourself, and each time you reach a new healthy goal you will find the next. So a week of enjoying life is a life well lived, but within the context of a life being lived as healthy as possible.

When you look at things from a larger and longer view, you feel more in control of everything. Days, rounds, 'this time' all becomes irrelevant to making the best choices as often as possible, as often as you can.

All the best.

Very well said.

I concentrated on healthier living and now it is just my new way of life. I love love love walking and really don't ever want to feel that sick overstuffed feeling again.

I have lost 38 lbs and have been on maintenance for 3 months now. And it is great.

Good luck with your new lifestyle. It is so worth it. You will find what works for you if you just take it slow and easy.

urloved33

Its just a daily application really until it becomes second nature and you live this way without thinking.

All_Exits_Lead_Within

Chaelaz had a pretty great reply. I only just started today, but my motivation was realizing I may not be able to stay in the country my boyfriend and I migrated to because I will not pass a medical exam to get a partner visa. The impact of hearing that yesterday was like being struck by lightening. I've been with my boyfriend for seven years, we planned to get married as soon as we got residency. While the motivation to get a partner visa is obviously incredibly important, I realized last night how out of control I was of my own life and body.

I think the biggest thing that contributes to weight loss failure, is lack of organisation. Being organised with your meal plans, calorie intake, how you use your time, etc is imperative if you want to change bad habits. Bad habits are often created when we're not paying attention, so to break them we need to make conscious choices all the time to create new, good habits. I always knew this, but planning and organising it something I struggle with.

I read not too long ago about how habits are created and broken and that it takes 30-60 days of doing something intentionally to make it a habit (good or bad). So today I went out and bought myself a few things to keep me on track. One of the things I purchased was a huge dry erase board and wrote all of the things I needed to do daily. I set up timers on my phone so that I would remember to do those things. Each time I do what I'm supposed to do I'll put a check mark by the completed thing and at the end of the day I will take a photo of myself smiling standing beside it to remind me that I am proud of my accomplishment. It might sound silly, but knowing that I did something good, really motivates me to continue doing it.

Another thing I believe is very important in reaching your goal is having support. My boyfriend never said much about my weight gain until last night. I told him I need to reach a healthy goal weight and I cannot do it without his support, so he's agreed to help me in any way he can. If you have friends and family to support you, appreciate that, I am in another country and know no one except my boyfriend (socializing as sadly become a thing of the past since I've become obese).

Good luck to you. Talk to me any time if you need encouragement.

vanessalillian82

Chaelaz wrote: »

a week of enjoying life is a life well lived, but within the context of a life being lived as healthy as possible.

When you look at things from a larger and longer view, you feel more in control of everything. Days, rounds, 'this time' all becomes irrelevant to making the best choices as often as possible, as often as you can.

This.

I was an "all or nothing" person myself. And then I realised I'd been on MFP for a few years and still wasn't where I wanted to be, even though I knew what I should be eating and could recite the number of calories in almost any food. I had been going "all" in short bursts, and then letting it all slide and beating myself up about it. So I took a break for a while, trusted myself to make the best choices possible most of the time, actually lost a tiny bit of weight and felt so much better about the process. Less pressure, less anxiety about it, and thinking less about food.

Now I'm at the gym lifting weights three days per week and am paying attention to my nutrition again, but only because I want to gain muscle and need to feed my body right to do that. I'm only losing weight very slowly but it's more that I'm exchanging fat for muscle rather than because I'm "not sticking to it", and I can see the difference after about five weeks.

So I encourage you to find something besides losing weight to focus on. For me, it's getting stronger every week and being able to keep up with my friends. I've never been naturally good at anything physical and had a lot of negative feelings about exercise (being the fat kid at school will do that, particularly if you have an undiagnosed heart condition!) and perceived myself to be weak and useless. My parents were pretty chilled and definitely not sporty, and never taught me about perserverence in physical activities besides the trite old "practice makes perfect"... but it's absolutely true. Repeat the same thing often enough and you will become good enough. Before, it was the diet/slide cycle that I was repeating, and I was REALLY good at it. Now, it's showing up the gym and putting actual real foods in my mouth instead of processed crap, and I'm getting really good at focusing on those things, and prioritising them. It's nothing to do with laziness and everything to do with how important it is to you and why.

Good luck!

katyjay2014

I wrote a list of everything that I wanted to have happen or was tired of have happening - its 4 pages long and counting. It has everything from "being tired of trying to walk softly on hardwood flooring so the whole house doesn't know I'm coming" to "knock the socks off at the HS reunion" to "make my family proud". I wrote down everything and whenever I'm feeling meh I read my list and pick my butt up off the couch

misty83rn

vanessalillian82 wrote: »

Chaelaz wrote: »

a week of enjoying life is a life well lived, but within the context of a life being lived as healthy as possible.

When you look at things from a larger and longer view, you feel more in control of everything. Days, rounds, 'this time' all becomes irrelevant to making the best choices as often as possible, as often as you can.

This.

I was an "all or nothing" person myself. And then I realised I'd been on MFP for a few years and still wasn't where I wanted to be, even though I knew what I should be eating and could recite the number of calories in almost any food. I had been going "all" in short bursts, and then letting it all slide and beating myself up about it. So I took a break for a while, trusted myself to make the best choices possible most of the time, actually lost a tiny bit of weight and felt so much better about the process. Less pressure, less anxiety about it, and thinking less about food.

Now I'm at the gym lifting weights three days per week and am paying attention to my nutrition again, but only because I want to gain muscle and need to feed my body right to do that. I'm only losing weight very slowly but it's more that I'm exchanging fat for muscle rather than because I'm "not sticking to it", and I can see the difference after about five weeks.

So I encourage you to find something besides losing weight to focus on. For me, it's getting stronger every week and being able to keep up with my friends. I've never been naturally good at anything physical and had a lot of negative feelings about exercise (being the fat kid at school will do that, particularly if you have an undiagnosed heart condition!) and perceived myself to be weak and useless. My parents were pretty chilled and definitely not sporty, and never taught me about perserverence in physical activities besides the trite old "practice makes perfect"... but it's absolutely true. Repeat the same thing often enough and you will become good enough. Before, it was the diet/slide cycle that I was repeating, and I was REALLY good at it. Now, it's showing up the gym and putting actual real foods in my mouth instead of processed crap, and I'm getting really good at focusing on those things, and prioritising them. It's nothing to do with laziness and everything to do with how important it is to you and why.

Good luck!

Good info... Its good to see things from a different perspective!

misty83rn

katyjay2014 wrote: »

I wrote a list of everything that I wanted to have happen or was tired of have happening - its 4 pages long and counting. It has everything from "being tired of trying to walk softly on hardwood flooring so the whole house doesn't know I'm coming" to "knock the socks off at the HS reunion" to "make my family proud". I wrote down everything and whenever I'm feeling meh I read my list and pick my butt up off the couch

Good Idea!

slbale

cwolfman13 wrote: »

I never started out trying to lose weight...my motivation was simply health and trying to reverse a lot of bad blood work and health markers. when I started eating in a way that would improve those markers and getting in regular exercise, the rest just took care of itself.

three years later and I'm still good livin'...because good livin' is for life.

This was the same reason, basically Dr orders... I spent about 3 weeks ticked off at the Dr, feeling tired when I thought, she's right... I started tracking, exercising and work real hard on willpower... It's tough, I still have days ( this week I baked, and indulged, and only lost 1/3 of a pound ) I made a lifestyle change as opposed to a diet. I am down 35.9 lbs since mid March, I honestly have never felt better and am amazed at my blood work progress!! In 6 months I actually go to the See the Dr and have blood work again, I will continue to work hard to see the results... And my husband has been very supportive, he never was before. It's easy to fallback into the old ways, but I've come to far to turn back.... 24.1 lbs to goal weight!

ajff

Honestly, I just started making small improvements. I was shooting for 1 pound a week, and in the first summer I lost 10 pounds a month. I was thinking positive, having hope, working hard, and being honest.

The litmus test? Was I tempted to cheat? Because 'before' I always was tempted, and was never successful. This time, I knew if it went in my mouth, it was going in my diary. And I honestly had no temptation to even cheat. Oddly enough, I have a few friends who also need to lose weight and I can always tell they were not going to make it: one has a super negative attitude and the other cheats. I just hope for the day when their mental switch flips!

Good luck!