Desperately seeking.... support buddies!!!

Ikickedcancersbutt13

I know most of our stories start this way. We are all however unique and this is my story. I was born with a congenital heart defect that almost cost me my life on three separate occasions. I had my first open heart surgery at the age of 13 after almost dying from heart infection. It was unsuccessful and another operation was performed when I was 18 years old. I went to college and thought I would never have a family because of my heart defect. I was wrong I settle down got married and had a beautiful and miraculously healthy little girl. After giving birth my daughter I reach my all-time high 186 pounds. I was fat and miserable, stuck in an abusive marriage. I finally smartened up and divorced at the end of 2004. I started working again and lost about 30 pounds. Even though I thought it would never happen I found love again and remarried and had my second daughter who again was miraculously healthy. Things were good for a while and I lost weight, gained it back ,but lost weight when I want to and easily enough. I 2009 I was diagnosed with endometriosis and was told I would never have kids again which I was OK with. As I found out doctors were wrong and I was pregnant. This pregnancy was awful and I was sick and hospitalized throughout most of it. In 2010 at only 29 weeks gestation I was forced to give birth to a baby girl due to preeclampsia. I watch for month as she fought for her life. Ironically enough I didn't gain any weight I am sure it is because I was pumping religiously to feed my precious little girl. Praise Jesus we were finally able to bring our daughter home and be happy two weeks before Christmas 2010. Again I was able to lose and gain weight but when I wanted to lose it the pounds came off easily. In 2011, I was faced a huge blow when I was diagnosed with cancer. They said it was the good kind and then I was easily treated. Again doctors are wrong my thyroid cancer wasn't easy and it metastasized to where I need another surgery. Fast forward to two surgeries for cancer and two rounds of radiation later I am finally showing no evidence of disease status. So that is a little bit of my story. I now sit here at 170 pounds miserable and alone. I am not alone literally as I have my husband and my three beautiful daughters but I feel so much alone. I can't lose this weight no matter how hard I try!! I exercise, I eat right ,I lose some weight and then I get sick and it comes right back on. At this point my health is uncertain and we are not sure of my cancer has returned. I don't have control over that but I do have control over whether to emotionally eat, did I failed to mention I was an emotional eater since my aunt passed away last year? You're probably reading this and thinking OK here's another fat girl trying to lose weight, diet and exercise and it will come off right? Wrong! I have lost my motivation and that is why I am here hoping to make buddies to help hold me accountable and support me in my successes and failures. Thank you for listening to my story and I would love to hear some of yours!
Best wishes on your journeys!!

6502programmer

Have you talked with your doctor about what is sensible and works for you? I'm assuming you're under the care of an endocrinologist who's managing your levels and medication. They should be your first go-to for information.

Okay, so now that the icky stuff is out of the way, you've already got ten pounds gone! That's fantastic. You know what needs to be done, now it's just a matter of finding the right motivation to do it!

editorgrrl

Ikickedcancersbutt13 wrote: »

I now sit here at 170 pounds, miserable and alone. I can't lose this weight no matter how hard I try!! I exercise, I eat right, I lose some weight and then I get sick and it comes right back on. Did I mention I was an emotional eater since my aunt passed away last year?

Learn to log everything you eat & drink accurately & honestly. Logging will help you break the cycle of feel bad > eat too much > feel bad.

Make a list of non-scale ways to make yourself feel better. If what you're feeling isn't hunger, then food won't make yourself feel better.

What about doing active things with your three daughters? Teaching them a healthy lifestyle should be the best motivation of all. Take a walk, ride bikes, go swimming…