2 days back and feeling overwhelmed!

mpost12590

Hi all and thanks for reading this. I have given up so many times after doing well. It's an never ending cycle with me. I know why I do the things I do it's learning to change them that's an issue. I am doing my best but I am worried I'll slip again. The doctors have so much pressure on me to lose the 100 lbs. I know this is basically life or death with my health. How do I do this? It seems impossible to do. Plus they want it ideally in a years time! I guess I'll make the changes I can and go from there. Does anyone have any tips they could share?

kevinanderson520562

I am sure you have heard all the buzz words and deeds before but some of them really do help. I like to park at the back of the lot when I am shopping so I walk farther. I always take the stairs even if there is an elevator. LOL my last airplane ride I remember walking along the crowded escalator with all the room in the world.

The best thing you can do for yourself is find someone to do something active with you. This can be a royal pain to do so if you cannot find anyone willing you can do what I did for awhile. I would walk and talk. If I could not get anyone to go walking with me I would grab my cell phone and call someone while I walked in the park. It is a great way to keep in contact your friends and family. Eventually I even got a few of them to walk with me in the park once or twice.

luciadhooge

Hi, mpost.....I'm in the same place as you. 2 days back & wondering how I can make it work this time. Can I do it? Who knows! But I gotta keep trying!!!!!

ManiacalLaugh

Tip 1: It's fine to set a major goal (100 lbs), but set baby-goals too. When I had a lot to lose, I set my next goal at every 10 lbs and allowed myself some self-pride every I hit the next 10. Now that I have less to lose, my baby goal is every 5 lbs. This allows to take smaller bites out of the larger number and celebrate the victories along the way. I can't even express what this did for my morale and determination.

Tip 2: Set yourself up with a plan that's sustainable. Don't jump in with both feet if you end up following a plan that will constantly leave you hungry or feeling deprived. For example: Some people love carbs. If this is your case (and you have no medical reason to go low carb), work carbs into your calorie allotment. If you'd rather fill up with protein, or you're more of a veggie-fiend, then work carbs down. Eat in a way that makes you feel like you won't be setting yourself up for failure. The deficit is what matters. (Once again, assuming you don't have diabetes, PCOS, or another medically-prescribed reason to eat a more limited diet.)

PaytraB

Would it help to set a smaller goal of maybe 10 lbs, lose that, then set another 10 lb goal? Maybe reaching the smaller goals will take your mind off the larger one.
Set a reasonable weekly weight loss goal. The Doctors will be happy with a generous move in the right direction. They may be putting a lot of pressure on you to do this in one year. Do your best in a manner that will keep you motivated and going strong (and not overwhelming yourself). Talk with your Doctors to let them know your plans.
You can do this. Make small changes. As Kevinanderson says, add movement to your day in any way you can. Find lower calorie foods that you enjoy and will stick with. Explore some new food items. This is a lifestyle change and it takes time to find what works for you.
Hang in there. You can do this.

PaytraB

LOL! double posting with ManiacalLaugh and saying the same thing.

luciadhooge

Must be good advice, you two!

opalle

Forget about the deadline. Take it easy on yourself and focus on small changes instead of overwhelming yourself with all the changes you want to see. Don't look at it as losing 100 lbs. Lose 5 lbs. Then lose 5 more. Then 5 more...etc etc. Take it one week at a time, or even one day at a time. Remember everyday won't be perfect, log it anyway, forgive yourself quickly and try again the next. It may be you take 5 steps forward 2 steps back but as long as you keep going you will eventually get there.

tartartic

I know how you feel, really I do. I'm in the same situation. It's hard for me and I don't have anyone in my real life that I can talk to about it. (My mom thinks she's fat at 110 lbs. and my husband is at his ideal weight) Every time I do this, I am successful and I feel great about it. Then I have a bad day with no exercise and I eat stuff I shouldn't. It completely spirals out of control and I quit. I've decided not to look at the big picture and the total amount of weight I have to lose. Instead I focus on making sure that I'm honest with myself and making my daily goals. I broke my overall weight goal into smaller segments so I can celebrate those wins. It's working for me. I'm not saying it will work for everybody, but it's a thought for you. Instead of saying I need to lose 100 lbs. I'm shooting for 23 right now. My only real advice to you is to stay with it. Don't give up when you have those bad days, learn from the triggers and try to better next time.

mpost12590

ManiacalLaugh wrote: »

Eat in a way that makes you feel like you won't be setting yourself up for failure. The deficit is what matters. (Once again, assuming you don't have diabetes, PCOS, or another medically-prescribed reason to eat a more limited diet.)

I have both PCOS and diabetes. As well as lupus, severe iron deficiency, ITP (low platelets), asthma, and sleep apnea. I'm a medical mess!

caroldavison332

i weight 242 and got down to 233 and quit. A blood sugar spike of 455 which my doctor feared would put me in a coma had me running back to my fitnesspals. THANK GOD I am okay, but I have an oatmeal with unsweetened peanut butter and ground flax for breakfast. I eat a pound of dr fuhrman's GBOMBS (bitter greens collards, kale, turnips or watercress), beans, onions, mushrooms, berries, seeds with peanuts and sesame seeds and no dressing. For dinner I eat a 4 ounce burger with mayo and blue cheese, no bun. That's about 1600 calories and 135 carbs daily. I lost 15 pounds just like that. I walk six miles and climb eight stairs daily, yesterday it was 7 miles and 16 stairs. I take my siberian husky dog on half of my miles. You could borrow a dog. I went off of my spartan diet for 3 days and gained 2.5 pounds back-even my clothing felt tight. You can do this.

mpost12590

tartartic wrote: »

Every time I do this, I am successful and I feel great about it. Then I have a bad day with no exercise and I eat stuff I shouldn't. It completely spirals out of control and I quit.

That is what happens to me every time! I need to stop this cycle NOW! I'm just not sure how to.

LeslieB042812

You've gotten a ton of great advice here!

I'll add, maybe don't even think about the weight at all at first. Set a small achievable goal, like "I will weigh and log everything I eat today". You don't have to restrict what you eat even, just commit to logging it. Then, once you've done that for a week, maybe try keeping to a reasonable calorie goal. I say "reasonable" to echo what other folks have said about not jumping into something unsustainable. You'll be able to go a long way with just watching your calories, so you don't necessarily have to worry about adding exercise, but it will help you feel better if you at least do a bit more walking (and that's not too hard to do). Sometimes, in the evening when I call my mom, I walk around the block, so we can go for a walk together.

If you do "fall off the wagon", the best way to keep from derailing is to just log it and move on. Just commit to logging everything--even if you have to guess at how much it was afterwards. For example, if you fall into a bag of chips and eat the whole thing (or almost the whole thing) without weighing it, just guess by looking at the number of servings in the whole bag and logging that amount. (and, yes, this has happened to me!) Or, if you get that desert you didn't plan for at a restaurant, try to find a comparable entry in the database and log it anyway.

The big key is to focus on each moment, as in "I will log what I am eating NOW", instead of focusing on a whole year or week or even day. It's much less overwhelming that way.

Good luck!

Capt_Apollo

stop thinking that you have to lose a hundred pounds. stop thinking so long term.

focus on just being healthy today.

mpost12590

Thank you all so much for the support it truly means a lot to me

cwolfman13

Capt_Apollo wrote: »

stop thinking that you have to lose a hundred pounds. stop thinking so long term.

focus on just being healthy today.

100% this...realize that this is a process...embrace the process...don't focus on deadlines or the number of Lbs you need/want to lose...focus on the process of becoming a healthier and fitter you. start working on and doing the things that healthy and fit people do. eat well...exercise regularly...get some rest. weight management is a bi-product of good livin'

understand that you don't have to do a complete 180* overnight...again, it's a process. understand that motivation is really a completely overrated emotion. establish your goals (and you should have some that have nothing to do with Lbs) and set out to do the things you need to do to achieve those goals and be disciplined...discipline is key, not motivation...motivation is a waxing and waning emotion...it won't get you far...discipline on the other hand leads to consistency and consistency leads to crushing your goals.

understand that time will pass either way...so what are you going to do with your time?

mwyvr

Capt_Apollo wrote: »

stop thinking that you have to lose a hundred pounds. stop thinking so long term. focus on just being healthy today.

I agree with this 100%. Right now make working on improving health a day to day thing.

cwolfman13 wrote: »

understand that time will pass either way...so what are you going to do with your time?

And ^ this too.

@mpost12590 the time to change things but her time is running out. @mpost12590 how are you going to use your time? Will you keep on heading the direction you've been on, or will you change course?

@mpost12590 says that this isn't her first time trying to make it work, so the key thing here is to help her figure out how to make it stick. There's no magic: she has to make a commitment to herself to make it happen. She's got to make an unbreakable vow with herself. No one else can do this for her.

If the prospect of an early death and poor quality of life while waiting to prematurely kick the bucket can't inspire someone to commit to changing their own future, then no amount of pep talk will.

Many of us here on MFP have been in her shoes. Fortunately many changed course and are still around to talk about it!

Almost exactly 1 year ago from today at 105 pounds over ideal weight for my frame I had the same "you've already set sail on a course to an early death" talk with my doctor. Our family doctor for decades, I knew he did not make such statements lightly and I was shaken into action. Yes I was fearful... and angry at myself for letting my health deteriorate.

So there would be no more failed New Years resolutions, no more "I'll start a diet after this next business trip", no more "I'll go for a walk|go to the gym|skip the second helping ... tomorrow procrastination. No more buying my own B.S.

I made a serious commitment to myself to alter course. Immediately.

Right from the start I worried about failing because I'd been there before, so for the first time I shared what I was doing publicly with people who knew me because I knew I simply could not stomach failing in full view of people who mattered to me. That bit of passive peer pressure helped me a lot in the early days, but soon I didn't need the extra push because each little success helped to propel me on to wanting to make new progress.

At the start I'd no idea how long it would take me to radically improve my fitness and drop the weight, and I feared it would take "forever".

I was dead wrong about that. It turns out you can do a lot in a year.

In the first 10 months I lost 75 of those target 105 pounds and went from being quite unfit to very fit in even less time. Along the way virtually all of my health issues were turned around. Last week I had my annual physical and doc was pretty amazed at the complete change across the board. Needless to say I'm not on the early death watch list now, but I knew that months ago.

@mpost12590 Commit to yourself, and just get going. Start today. Don't dwell on the distant horizon but work at it day to day and celebrate each win. If you stumble, forgive yourself, remember your commitment, and press on.

z_vette

Capt_Apollo wrote: »

stop thinking that you have to lose a hundred pounds. stop thinking so long term.

focus on just being healthy today.

I can't agree with this more.

Trust me, I know the overwhelming feeling. I started my journey with 300 pounds to lose. It seemed (and still does at times) impossible. But as per the advice I received from others (which is the same advice you're receiving here), I just needed to focus on one day at a time, and break my big goal down into small goals. Once I was able to do this and make healthy eating decisions, the weight started falling off.

In 3 months I'm down 45 pounds, with a long way to go still. I won't pretend it's been easy, tho. It's hard, and some times feels impossible. And I've slipped more than once already, but the important part is to realize you slipped, try to recognize WHY you slipped (was there a trigger?), and learn, move on, and get right back on track.

You can do this, I truly believe that and have faith in you! Feel free to add me for support if you'd like!