Beyond fed up!

Vidarsbane

Great, that's another useless medication doubled for me as of today...

I haven't really been on the site for the past few months, after initially starting well my mental health condition flared up in a really big way and I've been dealing with that. I suffer with treatment resistant clinical depression, tablets and talking therapies don't work for me as either they put me on a massive dose of something and I become a robot, feeling nothing or the tablets don't work at all, as for therapies I've tried everything from psychotherapy to C.b.T to counselling over the past decade alone and none of it helps.

I have lots of aspirations and dreams, losing weight is one of them but although I'm not currently feeling suicidal I am at a point where I can't stop asking myself "If nothing works for me, how much longer can I keep on fighting" I've never felt like this before. I mean I have been suicidal more than once and even got so far as one more step off the platform and I wouldn't be here but I've never had this persistent thought before and quite frankly it should terrify me but doesn't.

I'm seeking help through the national health service, back on tablets, back in therapy etc and it is doing NOTHING.

There is a treatment that can help me, but it can only be got privately at the moment and it is expensive called Repetitive Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation that is showing extremely positive results without the extreme permanent side effects of something like ECT. There's more information on my bio if you guys want to check it out...

Ashtoretet

So what are you doing to try to lose weight?