I want to cry - a million day ones
Losingthedamnweight
Posts: 535 Member
I feel like I can't do this. This is the single most important thing I can do in my life and I can't do it. I started this in march and did awesome for about a month and then lost 10lbs, then I started making excuse after excuse and the weight came back plus a little more and...god dammit...
Every single day I start so determined to do this and change my life. Then later on something always happens. What the hell is wrong with me? How can I be so determined one second and a couple hours later I forget all that and eat something bad? I've failed so many times I feel like I'm losing hope for myself. I feel like that dream I have everyday of what I would look like skinny is more and more and dream and less and less realistic. I don't even know why I try anymore. I've wasted my 20's and now I'm on track do to the same in my 30's
Every single day I start so determined to do this and change my life. Then later on something always happens. What the hell is wrong with me? How can I be so determined one second and a couple hours later I forget all that and eat something bad? I've failed so many times I feel like I'm losing hope for myself. I feel like that dream I have everyday of what I would look like skinny is more and more and dream and less and less realistic. I don't even know why I try anymore. I've wasted my 20's and now I'm on track do to the same in my 30's
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I feel like I can't do this. This is the single most important thing I can do in my life and I can't do it. I started this in march and did awesome for about a month and then lost 10lbs, then I started making excuse after excuse and the weight came back plus a little more and...god dammit...
Every single day I start so determined to do this and change my life. Then later on something always happens. What the hell is wrong with me? How can I be so determined one second and a couple hours later I forget all that and eat something bad? I've failed so many times I feel like I'm losing hope for myself. I feel like that dream I have everyday of what I would look like skinny is more and more and dream and less and less realistic. I don't even know why I try anymore. I've wasted my 20's and now I'm on track do to the same in my 30's
I find it helps to get over the good food/bad food idea. It's all food, some of it might be more healthy, but it still fuels your body. You have to find a way to have what you like, just keep it within your calorie goal. If you want to eat chocolate have it. Save some calories for it or having a smaller serving of nicer chocolate. If it fits into your calories for the day and you want it, eat it and don't feel guilty.
Make small changes. Don't try to do a complete overhaul of your life in a few days. You can do it, just small steps.0 -
Success is getting up one more time than you fell down. Just keep dragging yourself back up, and you can never have been said to fail.
I'm a classic for starting out great and falling over by dinner. But you know what? For every better-considered breakfast and lunch I have before going back to old habits for dinner are 2 meals in which I did better.
Life can get in the way. Sometimes it seems its actually out to get you, but you can do this, for you. Try writing down your plan for the day. Tick the boxes. Reward yourself (not with food!!) when you make milestones, no matter how minor. Be good to yourself and check in here often.0 -
I think the hard part is just remembering that this drastic change isn't going to happen overnight or in a week...I always start seriously working out...stick with it for a couple of months...and then I get busy/tired with work, school, etc. I think the biggest mistake you can make is that when you have a bad day, don't completely give up! It's just one day. Just try to improve the next day. Have people that help hold you accountable! You can do it!
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Bro, you can do it.
Just sent a friend request
I'm 43 and just this past April I was at 285
Made every bad choice in the book, crappy will power...you name it.
Check my diary, I try to improve every day
Just change one thing a week and stick to it.
First thing I did was dump all soda, it was the bane of my existence.
I still indulge a bit but nothing like before
By no means am I eating completely clean but I eat smaller meals, more often, and better quality foods through the day and treat myself only occasionally.
That and I work out with martial arts twice a week and I got my backside running 3 times a week using the c25k iPhone app (it works too)
Fast forward 8 weeks and I'm down 30 lbs and doing well, we all slip now and then.
Take it one day at a time.
I did look at your diary and I might suggest some fruits and veggies....and shoot for 3-400 cal breakfasts, a mid mornings mall snack of 1-200 calls. Lunch at or near 500, a mid snack at another 200 or so...and the rest for dinner.
I find when I pile on a big meal and fast the rest of the day I do not get good results.
I struggle too but I push through it as best I can, when I do stumble I'm damn sure I follow it up with 1-2 good days
You can do it....don't get discouraged.
Small changes, pick one thing a week.0 -
I feel like I can't do this. This is the single most important thing I can do in my life and I can't do it. I started this in march and did awesome for about a month and then lost 10lbs, then I started making excuse after excuse and the weight came back plus a little more and...god dammit...
Every single day I start so determined to do this and change my life. Then later on something always happens. What the hell is wrong with me? How can I be so determined one second and a couple hours later I forget all that and eat something bad? I've failed so many times I feel like I'm losing hope for myself. I feel like that dream I have everyday of what I would look like skinny is more and more and dream and less and less realistic. I don't even know why I try anymore. I've wasted my 20's and now I'm on track do to the same in my 30's
I find it helps to get over the good food/bad food idea. It's all food, some of it might be more healthy, but it still fuels your body. You have to find a way to have what you like, just keep it within your calorie goal. If you want to eat chocolate have it. Save some calories for it or having a smaller serving of nicer chocolate. If it fits into your calories for the day and you want it, eat it and don't feel guilty.
Make small changes. Don't try to do a complete overhaul of your life in a few days. You can do it, just small steps.
This. It's a marathon, not a sprint. Every time you stop yourself from making an unhealthy choice, that's a step. Every time you make a healthy choice, that's another. Don't forbid yourself foods, just watch portion sizes. Measure everything and log everything. If you go over one day, forgive yourself, log it and do better from that point on. It can be done, and you can do it. Good luck.0 -
I have affirmations taped up all over my house. A few of them are " If you are tired of starting over, stop giving up" , and " Are you doing today what you will be proud of tomorrow". Also, "Will you look back a year ago today, and wish you would have told yourself to keep going?". Every day is a new day, a new chance to start over. You can do this. One day at a time!0
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I find it helps to get over the good food/bad food idea.
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I agree with this 1000%. I know in the past when I thought of food as good or bad, I felt good or bad based on what I was eating and it's crazy to pass judgement on ourselves like that over food. I think there are SOOOO many people on MFP (me included) who have had a million day ones. But you are here and that is awesome, it shows you have it in you to try a million and one times. You can totally do it!
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I think you're restricting yourself too quick.
Start out eating whatever you want but within your calories (What is your calorie intake set to btw?).
Usually when you do this, you quickly realize what calories are worth it and what arent. Instead of drinking 400 calories of Coke or Pepsi, you'd rather save those for a real meal.. Instead of skimping calories for dessert, you'd rather indulge in that juicy medium-rare steak.
You can eat fast foods.. You can eat sweets.. Just stay under your calorie goal.
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It's overwhelming to change everything all at once. Try changing one thing at a time instead. Don't forbid yourself the foods you like forever, just cut back on them.0
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I feel like I can't do this. This is the single most important thing I can do in my life and I can't do it. I started this in march and did awesome for about a month and then lost 10lbs, then I started making excuse after excuse and the weight came back plus a little more and...god dammit...
Every single day I start so determined to do this and change my life. Then later on something always happens. What the hell is wrong with me? How can I be so determined one second and a couple hours later I forget all that and eat something bad? I've failed so many times I feel like I'm losing hope for myself. I feel like that dream I have everyday of what I would look like skinny is more and more and dream and less and less realistic. I don't even know why I try anymore. I've wasted my 20's and now I'm on track do to the same in my 30's
Its hard...trust me that is something I am very clear on. I am also in my 30's and I have been working at this for two years. Make small changes that you can live with. Starting out you don't need to be all or nothing. You are making a lifestyle change not just going on a diet!0 -
Fail to plan, Plan to fail.
I find the key for me is being organised. If I don't have the food around me prepared or on hand I go for the bad stuff.
Get support from other people who are in the same boat as you.
Dust yourself off & get up, even if it is again & again. Look at all the inspirational people on MFP. You can do it :flowerforyou:0 -
I think you're restricting yourself too quick.
Start out eating whatever you want but within your calories (What is your calorie intake set to btw?).
Usually when you do this, you quickly realize what calories are worth it and what arent. Instead of drinking 400 calories of Coke or Pepsi, you'd rather save those for a real meal.. Instead of skimping calories for dessert, you'd rather indulge in that juicy medium-rare steak.
You can eat fast foods.. You can eat sweets.. Just stay under your calorie goal.
I agree with this totally!0 -
All of the above posts are so true. You need to make small changes and don't feel like you're depriving yourself. I've started over so many times I've lost count, and I can honestly say that if it hadn't been for the support I've received on MFP over the last few days, then I would probably have given up again.
I've not lost any weight for the last two and a half weeks, but I measured myself last night and I've lost 2 inches from around my rib cage and half a centimetre from other parts of my body. I've took on board all the advice I've been given and i'm incorporating them into my eating plan.
I'm in my 40s now and I don't want to look back in a years time with regret that I give up yet again.
Don't be afraid to ask for help off people on here, the majority of people on here have been exactly where you are now so know exactly how you're feeling.
Good Luck x0 -
Bro watch this will motivate you
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eYOkSG6HWf4&list=FLLF0TZt5Ymhp_247Im2QGug&index=11 0 -
Hey there. I'm 58 years old and you don't want to know how many day ones I've had. You may feel like you're so old, but I'd give anything to be back at your age and not live my whole adult life as an obese person, having it restrict everything I do, having it affect my relationships or even change who I ended up with, affecting my career, setting a bad example for my daughter and not being the mom she deserved-- all of it.
These people above who advised you not to be too rigid about it are spot on. The only thing that has ever worked for me is just letting myself eat whatever I want, but counting. Pick a not-too-low number of calories, and think of the calories as the money you have to spend on any given day, and once the money is gone, it's gone. Like that one person said, you start getting to where certain things just don't seem worth the calories. At least that is what's happening with me.
And THEN, the thing is, it changes from something being imposed on you to a CHOICE you're making, which is a lot more empowering.0 -
fixed it for you.I feel like I can do this. This is the single most important thing I can do in my life and I can do it. I started this in march and did awesome for about a month and then lost 10lbs, then I started making excuse after excuse and the weight came back plus a little more and...god loves me anyway...
Every single day I start so determined to do this and change my life. Then later on something sometimes happens (not always because otherwise I wouldn't have had that 10 lb success). What the hell is going on lately with me? How can I be so determined one second and a couple hours later I forget all that and eat something less healthy? I've started so many times I feel like I'm losing hope for myself sometimes (but then time passes and I feel re-energized and excited again) . I feel like that dream I have everyday of what I would look like skinny is more and more realistic and less and less a dream . I don't even know why I try the impossible or the difficult anymore, I will just do what I can. I've wasted my 20's and now I'm not about do to the same in my 30's
Also created your new thread title for your progress pics and success threads.
" I want to cry. A million day ones eventually led to success one day at a time.":flowerforyou:0 -
Yes, You CAN!.. YOU ARE DOING IT RIGHT NOW!. You are asking MFP members for support. You are still on track. We all have episodes like this. What it wonderful is that You Know what you are doing to yourself is not healthy and you care.
You just need some motivation and new skills to help you.
Keep reading and you will find the support that will help you.
NEVER QUIT! You will surely regret it if you do!0 -
I'll try to help you too as much as I can. NEVER give up! We all have our issues but if we don't give up we'll get there eventually right?0
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MyChocolateDiet-- you are spot on!! That almost made me cry.
Oh, I thought of something else, too. If you find yourself getting all caught up in all that protein-carb-fat stuff, just get rid of those categories and keep only the calorie tracking. Takes it down to its simplest form. I know for myself I can get easily sidetracked with the need to be perfect with stuff that is really just kind of peripheral and unimportant. :drinker:0 -
I feel (as do a few others on here) that I have a few tidbits of advice that would help you through your process. I read your post about no results, and I'll tell you what I found most helpful to me, oddly, is inconvenience. I didn't misspeak, again, inconvenience.
What I mean by that, is to change my thought process, I had to make food choices and changes the forefront of my mind, and to do so, I would place my lunchbox in front of the door, so there was no way I'd forget to make it, and since I was going to make it, might as well pack good stuff. To ease that transformation in the beginning, I ate the junk I was used to eating, and slowly phased it out of my house as I went grocery shopping over the course of a month or so. Slow, steady changes. That's just one example.
The other is that lunch box is my food ration for the day; I try to only eat what comes out of it. I take it everywhere in a backpack with me. I don't live by that religiously, in fact I probably cheat 2 days a week! However I still see results, because of my access and dedication to MFP. Fill out the "about me" section, friend people with public food diaries, make this a pit stop you frequent 5 or 6 times a day, and trust me, you'll develop keen relationships with the support these perfect strangers will give you. I log everything that passes my lips, and if I go over, tomorrow is another day.
My weight loss is a paltry 15 pounds, and I've only lost 5 in 3 months. I've admittedly been dragging my feet, and I could do better. But I feel content with results, and I don't have to kill myself to get them, and I continuously dial in and fine tune those habits to make myself stronger.
This community loves to see progress at any speed, as long as you progress.0 -
Well as already stated food isn't good or bad..
Obviously some is better than others but as long as you’re meeting your calorie goals it really doesn’t matter.
It helps cut cals if you can switch to water or un-sweetened tea or green tea.
Also if you overdo it with the cals just burn it off before you go to bed, last minute push-ups or quick jog after dinner work off whatever you over ate then there’s no need to feel guilt or like you wasted a day. 0 -
fixed it for you.I feel like I can do this. This is the single most important thing I can do in my life and I can do it. I started this in march and did awesome for about a month and then lost 10lbs, then I started making excuse after excuse and the weight came back plus a little more and...god loves me anyway...
Every single day I start so determined to do this and change my life. Then later on something sometimes happens (not always because otherwise I wouldn't have had that 10 lb success). What the hell is going on lately with me? How can I be so determined one second and a couple hours later I forget all that and eat something less healthy? I've started so many times I feel like I'm losing hope for myself sometimes (but then time passes and I feel re-energized and excited again) . I feel like that dream I have everyday of what I would look like skinny is more and more realistic and less and less a dream . I don't even know why I try the impossible or the difficult anymore, I will just do what I can. I've wasted my 20's and now I'm not about do to the same in my 30's
Also created your new thread title for your progress pics and success threads.
" I want to cry. A million day ones eventually led to success one day at a time.":flowerforyou:
You are fantastic sweets ^^ I'm proud to call you my friend :flowerforyou:
OP...you CAN do this.:flowerforyou:0 -
You're a clever person, you know that what it takes is eating at a deficit and moving more. That involves some willpower, yes, but getting results will make you want to try harder and see even more results.
Drop or alter the 'cheat meals' -especially if it's a 'large cheeseburger, large fries, large coke and 20 piece nuggets' *I didn't even know they could serve 20 piece nuggets? Here you get 6 at a push!* That is a crazy amount of food.
The reality is you can eat your way through the benefit of any exercise so doing 10,000 steps doesn't mean you should up your calories and losing 2lbs doesn't mean you can then celebrate by eating whatever you want.
I'm sorry, I don't really do coddling. But on the upside, every single day is a new opportunity to turn it all around! Best of luck.0 -
A million day ones is the story of my life(all 56 years of it).. Those of us who have life long weight issues will face this particular challenge every day of our lives. We will never "arrive" at a weight and then be able to eat whatever we want. We will always be in the process of weight management. What seems to work for me is taking my eyes off of the goal (I want to lose 30 pounds) and putting that focus on the skills needed at the moment to be healthy. Sometimes that involves focusing on my fitness routine, other times how to avoid getting hungry before dinner or how I'm going to do to resist having 3 glasses of wine every evening. Really, I would have a great day of exercise and eating well and when 5pm rolled around I'd want that glass of wine, just one mind you, while my husband sat down with a beer. But one turns into two, turns into three..........and then I don't care what I eat. So now I drink my glass of wine on Friday or Saturday night and though it still turns into 3 glasses, at least that's only happening 1 night a week instead of 7. That is a huge success in my book. Food is not the enemy or the issue, our choices and thought processes are. Acceptance and change. 10 pounds lost is great! Take what you did for 30 days and tweak it so that you can do it for 60 days or 90 or for 6 months. Make the process livable day in and day out. The weight comes off more slowly, but it puts you in control of the moment rather than at the mercy of the past which you can't change, or the future which just doesn't exist. I made my life miserable for a long time by wishing I'd been born naturally thin and resisting the reality of how my body operates and what it needs to stay strong and healthy. Believe me, the older we get the more immediate and long lasting are the consequences! You can most certainly do this, one day.....or even just one meal at a time.0
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As far as I'm a woman, I can see losing weight from another aspect. There are really good advices here connected the practical side of losing weight - but what about the mental part? You have to ask yourself some questions...
First of all, do you love yourself enough to lose weight? As years go by ( I'm in my mid forties) I begin to think it's the most important question. If you don't love yourself enough, if you can't accept your body the way it is, it's almost impossible to lose weight. If you keep friends with your body, you won't put everything in your mouth - then you want to pamper your body, to give it the necessary nutrients in a yummy form. Then you won't give it j unk food so as you don't put dirty or messy gas in your beloved car's tank.
Secondly, do you estimate your body enough to feed it properly? You must appreciate yourself, have a high level of self-esteem, have a lot of courage to stand up for yourself. If you don't think of yourself that way, it could be really hard to have a body which is enviable.
The other important question is if you want looking and feeling sexy hardly enough? I don't think it's mostly women's problem... you men can feel the same related to your bodies. If you are introvert type, a bit shy in your social affairs, it can be really frightening to have a sexy, appealing, even desirable body... then you have to face the consequences which could be a bit inconvenient.
The fat around our body can protect ourselves from a lot of things we don't want to face.. it can be really useful in many situations... maybe you should be an expert to map all of these areas. But it may be enough to read some good books in this theme or just to have a lot of sincere talks with yourself...
You are really young - maybe I seem too much wise (and old ) compared to you... but man, it took me almost 50 years to collect this wiseness so I just want to hand it on to younger people! In this way perhaps you don't have to be almost 50 to feel as good in your element as I feel in mine nowadays! 0 -
I think you need buddies.
Is there someone you can share this whole thing with? Or join a group and talk, walk, share the experiences with.
Yes, keep doing it on mfp or wherever, but see if there's a friend who will be your buddy. A bit like AA!!!!
Then when you feel like making an unhelpful choice, or feel down, or feel really proud of yourself because things are going well, you can share the feelings and count on their positive support.
Feel free to friend as many people on here as you like, me included, but find real buddies too. Mine really helped me.
And good on you for starting the process. You can finish it too!!
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If you're in this for the long term, and to have no more 'day ones', I'd suggest starting at what mfp thinks your maintenance calories are and seeing what happens. Then you can adjust up or down and hunt for that 'sweet spot' where you lose without feeling too deprived.0
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I agree with those that say you have to get out of the "good food" "bad food" mentality. Food is food. If you want to eat a burger, eat a burger. Eat less at breakfast to make up for the extra cals.
Also go here, read this:
http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/654536-in-place-of-a-road-map-2-0-revised-7-2-12
You will likely not stick to it at 1200 cals (the default MFP seems to give a lot of people) , because you simply NEED more calories than that.
If you need supportive friends, I've been here a while and I'm more than willing to help support.0 -
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I will ditto the others about making small changes instead of one giant one--it's much easier to adapt to and you won't feel like you're depriving yourself, which can lead to bingeing.
Have you considered talking to a therapist? From your post, it sounds like you may have self-esteem issues, and this can be a huge factor in trying to lose weight--many will self-sabotague without realizing it.
And here's a quote attributed to Mark Twain that kind of applies "Quitting smoking is easy. I've done it a hundred times." If you fall off the horse, get back on.0
http://youtu.be/_CRVjMQuOaM
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