How do you stay motivated and where do you get your support from?

kiwilili

Hey all,

I am in a bit of a sad place. I lost weight over three years ago and felt good about myself. I started gaining it back these past two years, especially this year and now I am at my heaviest. I hate the way I feel and go to hide away all the time... I have become more and more of an introvert and try to hide my body because I hate the way I look.

I ask my partner for support because he helped me the first time. He organised what I would eat and made me feel amazing about myself. My family is all large, and I grew up not knowing how to eat healthy.
This time my partner doesn't want to support me. He said that I have given up so many times that he wants to see me trying for over a month before he will help and support me.

I feel so alone in this process, and I feel so disgusted with myself that I have gained so much weight. Also, people my partner included keep bringing my trigger food into the house and I try to explain that if it isn't here I won't eat it, but they don't seem to hear this.

It is very frustrating and I feel very alone. I must admit it has caused me tears lately out of frustration. I keep trying to exercise, but don't do as much as I would like.
I tend to overexercise and do some damage and cannot exercise. I struggle with eating disorders, so when I don't see results quick enough, I tend to either binge or end up following anorexic behaviours.

Sorry for the rant, I know some of you will be able to relate with this.
Mostly I am asking for how you stay supported and motivated to continue when everything seems to be working against you?
Also, I guess I didn't want to feel so alone.

caci88

Hi Kiwilili,
firstly good work for reaching out for support. To be honest, even if you're surrounded by people 'supporting' you it's a very lonely journey because the whole time you need to battle your own head!
You need to take responsibility for your health though, and realise it's no one elses job to help you. You can do this without them!! Be a bad *kitten* and do it for yourself and by yourself! Nothing like a bit of independence As for bringing trigger foods into the house, you can't avoid being around food. It's everywhere. Even if it's not in the house if it pops into your head it's not hard to go buy it and bring it to the house! So you need to abstain and just not eat it! Motivation comes from within - why are you doing it? What will it mean? What will happen if you don't? Where will you be in 5 years if you do nothing? That's your motivation. Now just do it, even if it's hard!

Machka9

kiwilili wrote: »

This time my partner doesn't want to support me. He said that I have given up so many times that he wants to see me trying for over a month before he will help and support me.

Show your partner that you can do it for a month.


As for motivation, ask yourself this ... what motivates you to brush your teeth? to get dressed in the morning? to go to work or school? Eating fewer calories than you're burning, making good choices, weighing and logging everything is along the same lines.

This is something you need to do for yourself. It needs to become part of what you do, whatever else is going on around you. You don't need support to brush your teeth or get dressed in the morning ... so you can do weight loss stuff on your own too.

katecampisi

I agree. Do it for yourself. Its about you. Proving it to yourself-not others. I changed my mindset from I can't to why can't I? Its my choice. I have days where I drink and eat too much but I keep it to weekends. I try very hard to look at my body objectively, treat it as a project, a work in progress. I look in the mirror and see areas that need "work", I try very very hard not to hate on myself. Do it for you.

vmag54

You got this! You did it once before so you know you can do it! As for motivation, I think everyone really has their own reasons. For me, weight loss is one but my biggest motivation right now is health more anything. I also agree with the above post, do it for yourself and not for anyone else. Find your why and start there.

kiwilili

Thank you guys so so so much!!! I think I get caught in my own head, and worry that I cannot do it by myself. It does feel lonely (although less now).
You have really given me a virtual kick in the butt.
I will try find my motivation and answer only to myself. I know I am currently trying to get healthier and loose weight, but trying to focus on the getting healthier part first and foremost.
You are spot on about the whole fighting yourself.
I WILL prove it to myself.
Thank you for being supportive when I have been feeling lost and confused.

dragonfire12601

Definitely do it for yourself. If you don't in a few years you will be right back here. It's a lifestyle change. LIFESTYLE. It should be a way of life. It'll be hard ar first but sooner or later it'll be second nature. Feel free to add me! It's always better with friends

jaqcan

I do it myself! My husband goes on walks with me, and doesn't mock my food choices, but it's all on me. It's scary but also empowering! Its my choices and I can do it! Do it with me! You can add me as a friend!

thintribe2014

Being openhearted, honest with yourself and seeking help is a great start and I'm sure he will have a deluge of support here but as you mention in your post, if your partner and friends are not supportive and understanding it will be more difficult (although not impossible). Explaining to them the issue with trigger foods (I am very well aware of that challenge). Align yourself with as many friends and supporters as you can (forums are great) but those closest to you are possibly more important.

NoIdea101NoIdea

To be fair, as harsh as it is, your partners approach sounds exactly like what you need-you need to stop looking for support everywhere but yourself. Do this for YOU. Make your own choices, your own routine, find your own motivation.

Personally, when it comes to motivation (I have a severe lack of self-discipline myself!) I have a pintrest board I stick things in, motivational quotes, workouts, recipes, etc. I pre-plan my meals day-by-day and try my hardest to stick to it. I think about how awesome it is going to be to finally rock a crop top, I allow a couple of hundred calories at the end of the day for a treat. And I come on here and chat with all these lovely people!

Losing weight can seem like a daunting, impossible challenge, but it can be done! Take it one day at a time, make small adjustments at first, and accept that you will probably have those days where you screw up and overeat but we are only human after all! Good luck