When loved ones don't support you?

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  • JustMissTracy
    JustMissTracy Posts: 6,338 Member
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    SpleenThief wrote: »
    Your drunk friends don't want you to be sober.
    Your fat friends don't want you healthy
    Your smoking friends don't want you nicotine free

    It makes them look at things in their own lives they're not doing well.

    This. Absolutely, without a doubt, perfectly stated.
  • WellingTX
    WellingTX Posts: 617 Member
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    You are making a change in your life. It can be uncomfortable and unfamiliar for those around you.

    Some great guidance on this thread but I'd add to have some patience.

    In my situation, for years my wife knew that bringing me home cookies or another treat would make me happy. In fact, I'd be disappointed if she didn't indulge my whims. Even as I started my journey I'll share that my inconsistencies were hard on her. "Support me and my new lifestyle but if I want a pizza it's your responsibility to support that choice and not make me feel bad for falling short."

    She's had to make adjustments through the process. Now that she recognizes that I'm serious and I'm more consistent in my behavior, she's bought in full force.




  • ayfields29485
    ayfields29485 Posts: 22 Member
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    My husband eats junk all the time always offer them to me I ignore him and know that I am doing this for me.
  • mwyvr
    mwyvr Posts: 1,883 Member
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    You can either ignore her complaints or take them head on and tell her how many calories of her food you are willing to take in to meet your daily goal. Maybe providing a bit of information back to her will help her understand why a bag of chips worth 600 calories (making this up, don't ruin a story with facts) won't fit into your calorie restricted diet of 1,400 calories.

    If she can't understand that she is either a) dense or b) working to sabotage your efforts. Hopefully it's (a) because you can more easily work with that.

    Or... suffer in silence for a while and after she sees you are sticking with this for the long haul eventually she'll come on side.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
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    You are on your own, so just keep going. I started my journey with one of my friends. She quit, so what am i supposed to do quit too. NO, its my body so I have to do what I have to do.

    p.s thats why i love this site, you, talk to your friends on your list, you participate on forums like this.

    Your wife will eventually get the message you are in this for the long haul.
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
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    jb32hss wrote: »
    I couldn't imagine not having support at home. My boyfriend is bulking but we eat similar meals and when he cooks he measures everything for me! He does buy treats too but I just leave them in the cupboard and he soon eats them all lol

    it really is no big deal. My other half is huge and no interests yet of losing weight, he laughs at me for weighing my food, and exercising. But then he isnt complaining about the end results.
  • glowcap
    glowcap Posts: 8 Member
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    I'm being patient with my wife and I hope she'll get behind me in time.

    As Amy said, 10lbs in a month is quite the difference, but I'm following my macros and doing a mix of cardio and weight training 5 days a week. I've mostly dropped fat, but I'm still tuning everything in. My real target is 15% body fat, but the app only lets me plug in weight.

    Thanks again for all the responses. I didn't expect to see so many. This is a great community, and I wish all of you the very best of luck in your body management goals.
  • TonieOnBadassMission
    TonieOnBadassMission Posts: 30 Member
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    Sounds like you have a positive attitude about all of this and honestly she probably just likes giving you treats. She probably isn't being vindictivem. It also sounds like you are pretty fit and so she may not see a need in weight loss.

    I don't think 10 pounds for a reasonably fit male with a great metabolism is all that unheard of. Now, I wish I could lose 10 pounds in one month because I would be done. Haha. If she's a small female she sees 10 pounds as a lot of weight. Her perspective is different.

    I'm only 5 ft tall so 10 pounds is huge for me!

    Anyway, good luck with your fat loss and muscle gains. She will appreciate the end results!

    My husband is supportive as in buying me anthing I need to lose weight but won't exercise with me. I wish he would but maybe he will eventually as some of the others stated.


    quote="glowcap;34023847"]I'm being patient with my wife and I hope she'll get behind me in time.

    As Amy said, 10lbs in a month is quite the difference, but I'm following my macros and doing a mix of cardio and weight training 5 days a week. I've mostly dropped fat, but I'm still tuning everything in. My real target is 15% body fat, but the app only lets me plug in weight.

    Thanks again for all the responses. I didn't expect to see so many. This is a great community, and I wish all of you the very best of luck in your body management goals. [/quote]

  • NessJKay
    NessJKay Posts: 57 Member
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    SpleenThief wrote: »
    Your drunk friends don't want you to be sober.
    Your fat friends don't want you healthy
    Your smoking friends don't want you nicotine free

    It makes them look at things in their own lives they're not doing well.

    So very true - add friends on here for support x
  • TonieOnBadassMission
    TonieOnBadassMission Posts: 30 Member
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    So my husband just went and bought a Total Gym. Maybe he is going to workout with me. Woohoo!!!!
  • TrailBlazzinMN
    TrailBlazzinMN Posts: 509 Member
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    I can't imagine what it would be like to be with someone that supported my health endeavors and actually participated in them. I'd probably propose prematurely if that ever happened.

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