How to deal with weight loss comments
jbuzzed
Posts: 10,172 Member
Does anyone else feel uncomfortable when people comment on your weight loss? I've lost 25lbs so far so I know I look different but I'm still uncomfortable with comments about it. I'm not having negative comments I just feel really embarrassed when people notice.
Or is this just me? Lol!
Or is this just me? Lol!
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Replies
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Its a commonish topic. Wear baggy clothes or just smile and say thanks, but really its more about you than them. Some people get mad because people dont notice. In general people are complimentary and admiring of anyone who loses weight. Its not as though they didnt realise before that you weighed more, so enjoy it, but certainly dont worry about it.0
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I like when people comment. Makes it feel worth it! People are just trying to celebrate the fact that you had the willpower to change.0
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Awesome weight loss!! Get used to it and embrace it because losing weight is hard work. Lots of determination is needed
Congrats!! 0 -
I have never been self-conscious about positive comments about my weight loss. What does bug me are those who started to say I should stop losing weight even while I had not yet gotten out of the obese category. For them, I simply smile, say thank-you and go on with things making a note not to tell them I am still working at losing weight. I would say that a similar strategy might be good here. Don't make a big deal about it, simply say thank-you and go on.0
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Most of the time I don't feel uncomfortable but Monday night I met up with a group of people I had not seen in six months and the onslaught of (positive) comments from multiple directions caught me off guard. Most people I run across I see all the time so the changes while very obvious (I've lost 78 pounds) were gradual over the course of 10 months. This group saw a 35 pound change.
Any way you look at it, this is a good problem to have.
Just say thanks!0 -
You committed and lost the weight. Congrats. Enjoy it! Flames or Oilers? lol0
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Yes yes and more yes! For a long long time part of my fear of losing was to avoid those comments. Nobody would ever tell me I was getting fatter, but the thought of them noticing I had lost was just a reverse observation of how fat I had gotten and it scared the heck out of me.
The reality turned out to be if I wanted to get more healthy I was going to have to deal with it. Once it actually started happening I somehow learned to politely say thank you and had to deal with it internally feeling like a "oh thank goodness! You had gotten so fat we are glad you are doing better!"
Can't say it ever felt good to hear the comments but it's just a cost of getting to where I want to be. Know you are not alone, not everyone likes to be acknowledged in that way but eventually your new weight will be normal to observers and the comments will go away.
Keep up the good work!0 -
Congrats! Learning to accept compliments gracefully and genuinely is very important. Not only when applied to weight loss but to any aspect of our lives. Don't diminish your own accomplishments by reacting embarrassed or otherwise indicating that you don't think you deserve the compliments. You do! So accept them, appreciate them, and return them if warranted.0
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I take it as a HUGE compliment! When you wear the right clothes people notice, too. I wore my usual clothes (that had become quite baggy) until the end of the school year in June, despite having lost 50 pounds. The day before school started up again, I bought new khaki's and dress shirts that fit me much better. First day of school, tons of people were commenting, despite the face that I only lost 15 pounds over the summer. Enjoy the round-about compliments 0
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Not uncommon.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
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Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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I think it made me uncomfortable because I never knew if it was meant to be a compliment. " Wow, you really look like you lost weight!" Ummmm "thank you?????"
If someone said "you look great!" I never knew what to say either because I cannot seem to take a compliment.
The worst is when people ask how I did it and I say "MFP, tracking my calories" and they look at me like I have lost my mind. They usually stop there.
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farfromthetree wrote: »I think it made me uncomfortable because I never knew if it was meant to be a compliment. " Wow, you really look like you lost weight!" Ummmm "thank you?????"
This is what I have found awkward too... "You've lost a lot of weight!" It's more of an observation than a compliment, so I never really knew if I should say thank you or not. Now I just respond with something like "Thanks for noticing, I've really been trying!"
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hortensehildegarde wrote: »Yes yes and more yes! For a long long time part of my fear of losing was to avoid those comments. Nobody would ever tell me I was getting fatter, but the thought of them noticing I had lost was just a reverse observation of how fat I had gotten and it scared the heck out of me.
The reality turned out to be if I wanted to get more healthy I was going to have to deal with it. Once it actually started happening I somehow learned to politely say thank you and had to deal with it internally feeling like a "oh thank goodness! You had gotten so fat we are glad you are doing better!"
Can't say it ever felt good to hear the comments but it's just a cost of getting to where I want to be. Know you are not alone, not everyone likes to be acknowledged in that way but eventually your new weight will be normal to observers and the comments will go away.
Keep up the good work!
Yes! This is why I feel uncomfortable because it acknowledges how heavy I was. Glad someone else understands! 0 -
Also, this summer my friend's dad said to me, "Gee, you're really keeping trim. You're not getting fat anymore!" Not exactly a compliment, haha.
Luckily he's known to be pretty eccentric, so I just laughed.0 -
kaylajane11 wrote: »farfromthetree wrote: »I think it made me uncomfortable because I never knew if it was meant to be a compliment. " Wow, you really look like you lost weight!" Ummmm "thank you?????"
This is what I have found awkward too... "You've lost a lot of weight!" It's more of an observation than a compliment, so I never really knew if I should say thank you or not. Now I just respond with something like "Thanks for noticing, I've really been trying!"
Great advice!0 -
@kaylajane11 that would be awkward!0
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all that is needed is thank you and then move the conversation on to something you are comfortable with0
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I've lost 24.5 lbs and not one person has noticed. I wish they would because it would help me believe it's making a difference. I don't see any difference other than the number on the scale.0
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It will happen! My own mother didn't notice my weight loss until I hit 43 lbs lost.0
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To me there are 2 types of people that comment about weight loss. The first seem generally impressed and are happy and proud of your hard work. Those people usually ask questions about your diet and what you are doing and say good job. The second type are people I have found seem to be more judgemental I don't think it's on purpose but those people seem to think you have changed as a person some how. They usually ask questions like don't u feel better? I bet u feel younger? U must be so much happier? Now In theory yea losing weight and being healthy does make u feel better but it does not change whi u are, the way the question is posed it makes u feel like your old self was not great or not worthy. I don't know but sometimes I just don't want to talk about it and just move on.0
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Yes it is awkward...I never really know how to respond...but "Thank you!! I've been working hard!" Usually works... most people know I'm a dancer so I can usually move the conversation to dance competitions to avoid the awkwardness0
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I have mixed feelings about it. I generally take the comments as the compliments they are intended to be. I thank the person and then quickly change the subject. I *know* I was morbidly obese and that I look incredibly different now, in a very good way, and I appreciate those that compliment the change and then move on. I only become bothered by the comments when they won't change the subject, or allow me to change the subject, and move on. I don't want to give weight loss advice to my friends and relatives and I certainly don't want to talk about their weight loss successes or failures, especially as compared to mine. My weight loss has been a very personal journey of education and self-discovery and I really don't want to talk about it in casual conversation. (Talking about it here on MFP is different - we are all here to help, support, share knowledge and strategies, be cheerleaders and/or tell someone to suck it up, when need be.
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DawnUrbanski wrote: »
How much you need to lose makes a big difference on when people really start to notice and comment. I didn't start getting comments until I was more than 50 pounds down. A 20 pound loss on my body when I started was not really noticeable, except to me, however a 20 pound loss on my body now would be extremely noticeable. It wasn't until then that it was really obvious that I was losing and the loss was intentional.0 -
I usually take comments very well, and like hearing it, but I had a strange one the other day. Someone I hadn't seen in a while looked at me (in a crowded public place mind you) and said quite loudly "Oh my god! Did you take a 160 pound s***?". We had a good laugh.0
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