Overcoming Bulimia

FitGirl81683

Hello my name is Rachel and I'm 32 yrs old, married and have two beautiful girls. Ok well it all started in 11th grade. I became addicted to meth and continued to abuse it for a year. I became so used to hardly having anything to eat for that whole year I had lost 80 pounds.. When I stopped meth altogether it didn't feel right when I ate. My stomach would hurt. So that's where bulimia took over. It's been 14 years now bulimia has been destroying me. My emotions, my self confidence, the way I see myself as a mother, a wife, a sister, a daughter, a friend. I feel like I've lost myself. I am a strong Christian and big believer in God, Jesus Christ. I go to church every Sunday and am trying to read my bible everyday. I know God is with me through this but it's up to me if I want to be happy. The devil has been messing with me far too long. I just need some support and motivation from others that are going through this especially the ones that have fully beat this hell of a battle of bulimia. Any advice would help so much!!! Thank you to whoever is taking the time to read this. May God bless you.

cbnorris

I have never experienced bulimia, so unfortunately I can't offer any advice, but I applaud you on your courage! You can do it!

eyeamAnne

I don't personally know what it feels like to be In your shoes but I have 2 relatives (one of them is a guy) who have been able to move past bulimia. They did it with exercise.

Before I continue ---- I'm not a professional counselor. And these two people who are no longer bulimic really could have used help from a professional but I don't think either of them could afford it? I don't know why they didn't use professional help.

From what I have observed, and through talking with these two relatives, I see that bulimia is not about being skinny. It's about having control over your life. It's kind of like an OCD situation. This really helps to explain why the guy got into it --- there were things going on with his family that he had no control over. Both of these relatives eventually shifted all of the attention they were giving to their disorder to exercise.

Because exercise is their focus they eat to fuel their workouts. And here is the cool thing -- when you exercise your brain releases the right chemicals to help you cope with whatever is stressing you (I should have mentioned that my two relatives are not on anti-depressants. When they are stressed they go for a run or go to the gym).

But be careful. I have read that exercising too much is another method for bulimia. Don't trade one disorder for the same disorder.

I don't know how this will all work out for you. I just know what worked for two people. If the root of your bulimia is control then maybe you need to shift that focus. It's probably not enough to just stop. You need something to replace it. And for two people that replacement was exercise.

nicjbar73

oh my! u have taken it from every end!!! i had anorexia in my teens, now 42. not the same as bulimia but same mindset. i am also helping my son of 21 get out from under meth.he has been home with us for 5weeks now. came back 45 pds underweight, so even though im not a addict im seeing this 1st hand! weve put 18 pds on him, but its been tough to do. we have him eating every hour so his body gets used to food again, small things. i am in awe of anyone who can beat this.
i know for me personally i used exercise to get through, but i did have to throw out my scale because i became addicted to that during the process.ive continued using exercise, i work theough my head, whether boxing, running, lifting. its built my body into a machine that nothing can touch!
my son is lifting everyday, working through his demons as well, & building back his confidence that he let the drugs take away.
youve got this girl! u have to be strong to still have ur children & raising them. your fighting ur head every single day! u are a strong smart powerful woman u can do this!!!
i will send u a friend request. u choose whether to accept or not;)

Geege29

I began my battle when I was 12. I did not go to an eating disorder clinic, but I did see a counselor. It never really goes away, and for me it's all about control. I'm 36 now and I still struggle sometimes. Honestly for me sometimes I just skip a meal, rather than start a binge/purge cycle. If I had a major regression at this point I would head straight into treatment.

FitGirl81683

cbnorris wrote: »

I have never experienced bulimia, so unfortunately I can't offer any advice, but I applaud you on your courage! You can do it!

Thank you so much cbnorris

SherryTeach

I think professional therapy is in order here. People don't overcome very serious and deadly mental illnesses by getting advice on the internet.

FitGirl81683

eyeamAnne wrote: »

I don't personally know what it feels like to be In your shoes but I have 2 relatives (one of them is a guy) who have been able to move past bulimia. They did it with exercise.

Before I continue ---- I'm not a professional counselor. And these two people who are no longer bulimic really could have used help from a professional but I don't think either of them could afford it? I don't know why they didn't use professional help.

From what I have observed, and through talking with these two relatives, I see that bulimia is not about being skinny. It's about having control over your life. It's kind of like an OCD situation. This really helps to explain why the guy got into it --- there were things going on with his family that he had no control over. Both of these relatives eventually shifted all of the attention they were giving to their disorder to exercise.

Because exercise is their focus they eat to fuel their workouts. And here is the cool thing -- when you exercise your brain releases the right chemicals to help you cope with whatever is stressing you (I should have mentioned that my two relatives are not on anti-depressants. When they are stressed they go for a run or go to the gym).

But be careful. I have read that exercising too much is another method for bulimia. Don't trade one disorder for the same disorder.

I don't know how this will all work out for you. I just know what worked for two people. If the root of your bulimia is control then maybe you need to shift that focus. It's probably not enough to just stop. You need something to replace it. And for two people that replacement was exercise.

Yes I think control has a lot to do with it for me. There is very little things I have control over in my life. I feel like I'm running around like a chicken with its head cut off. I'm taking care of two kids and I'm taking care of my husband even though he can take care of himself. But I am his wife and the wife/mother has responsibilities and can't just not do them other wise nothing will get done. Ok enough with my rambling lol. I'm making an appt. to seek help. Please keep me in your prayers. And I'm so happy for your two relitives!!! That's a blessing they overcame what wash oldish them back from having the right life they needed. Thank you again

b0urb0

I have some binge eating episode sometimes, and posting it or telling someone about it is what hepls me. I post it BEFORE i actually do it and the "don't" or "hang in there" "fight it" "go for exercise it'll pass" I get from others are often the motivation i needed to overcome it. It may depends how serious it is, but for me that does it.

FitGirl81683

nicjbar73 wrote: »

oh my! u have taken it from every end!!! i had anorexia in my teens, now 42. not the same as bulimia but same mindset. i am also helping my son of 21 get out from under meth.he has been home with us for 5weeks now. came back 45 pds underweight, so even though im not a addict im seeing this 1st hand! weve put 18 pds on him, but its been tough to do. we have him eating every hour so his body gets used to food again, small things. i am in awe of anyone who can beat this.
i know for me personally i used exercise to get through, but i did have to throw out my scale because i became addicted to that during the process.ive continued using exercise, i work theough my head, whether boxing, running, lifting. its built my body into a machine that nothing can touch!
my son is lifting everyday, working through his demons as well, & building back his confidence that he let the drugs take away.
youve got this girl! u have to be strong to still have ur children & raising them. your fighting ur head every single day! u are a strong smart powerful woman u can do this!!!
i will send u a friend request. u choose whether to accept or not;)

Thank you again for being my friend on my fitness pal!! It helps!!! I will fight this I will get past this I will fight my demons and I will win!!!! Prayers for your son!! Meth is how my bulimia started. I was on it for a year. I list 80 lbs within months... I then started dating my middle school sweetheart in 2002. He found out I was using meth he told me it was him or the drug. I chose him. In now time I was past the meth and haven't done it since 2003. But then when I started eating normal meals again my mind and my stomach did not agree how it felt to have food in my stomach. So then I made myself sick every time ate anything. And here I am 14 years later still not feeling normal when I eat. I'm nothing compared to what I was like, but that's not the point..it's still there and it's still hurting my every thought about food and how I see myself. My self confidence is so low and I'm always hating on myself. I can't do this anymore. I need to get some help.

FitGirl81683

Geege29 wrote: »

I began my battle when I was 12. I did not go to an eating disorder clinic, but I did see a counselor. It never really goes away, and for me it's all about control. I'm 36 now and I still struggle sometimes. Honestly for me sometimes I just skip a meal, rather than start a binge/purge cycle. If I had a major regression at this point I would head straight into treatment.

I'm making an appt to get help. It's just been to long to suffer every day. All in all its a mental issues. It's all in our minds. We can overcome this demon. I'll be praying for you. May God bless you. Thank you for your feedback.

FitGirl81683

SherryTeach wrote: »

I think professional therapy is in order here. People don't overcome very serious and deadly mental illnesses by getting advice on the internet.

Thank you!! Yes I'm making an appt today to seek help.

FitGirl81683

b0urb0 wrote: »

I have some binge eating episode sometimes, and posting it or telling someone about it is what hepls me. I post it BEFORE i actually do it and the "don't" or "hang in there" "fight it" "go for exercise it'll pass" I get from others are often the motivation i needed to overcome it. It may depends how serious it is, but for me that does it.

Thank you!! I'm making an appt today to seek help.

WendyBurbs

FitGirl- First off, thank you for your openness. It is not easy to talk about eating disorders and people rarely understand what it's like unless they have been through the fire themselves.

I have been in treatment this year for bulimia, so I understand your struggle. I still track food from time-to-time, but oddly I find it comforting to come on here and write comments as a way of keeping myself straight.
Let me share from experience. Eating food and keeping it in will not be easy as you are trying to recover. When you spend years not digesting food, your body will take time to adjust, but believe me, it will adjust eventually. But you have to be committed and you have to keep doing the work.

I have been in treatment since January, and spent 4 months in Intensive Outpatient Treatment. I consider my treatment exceptionally effective, BUT I still struggle and am not fully recovered. My therapist told me that it could take a few years to get fully recovered. What I can tell you is this. While I was in treatment, I had about 70 days without binges and purges, and since I left treatment I can go about 2-4 weeks between episodes. Last year, I was probably spending about 5 days a week with my life completely obsessed with ED-- the struggle is real. It is a HARD road, it will cause you massive discomfort, but to have days where you wake up and choose recovery and stick with it will be the foundation for your recovery.

I had a counselor and dietician that I saw independently for a while, but I really had to make treatment a full-time job to be able to make progress. Feel free to send me a PM if you want. I know it's a dark place to be in, but choosing recovery is so worth it.

You mentioned your faith before, and let me tell you, having faith to believe that God can heal me from this awful disorder is something I hold onto every day.

You can recover, you just have to choose to. Get help, get prayer, and message me if you want some additional support. Think of your kids. If one of them was torturing their body the way you are how would you treat them? With compassion, right? You would hold them in your arms, tell them you love them, tell them they are worth more than a number. You are. Keep fighting! You can do it!

alistinkerbelll

checking in as a fellow survivor of bulimia with all you amazing brave people. you can do it!

seashell1600

Great testimony to put so many others at ease. Most don't talk about it and family members often don't understand how to help. I too have been working toward complete recovery for 17 years. Off and on and now I sought help from a therapist. Back to tracking my calories to gauge where I stand. I still hate my body but am learning slowly to accept. Daily work required for sure. Thank you for the honesty. Would love to connect to build support for each other.

lulucitron

eyeamAnne wrote: »

I don't personally know what it feels like to be In your shoes but I have 2 relatives (one of them is a guy) who have been able to move past bulimia. They did it with exercise.

Before I continue ---- I'm not a professional counselor. And these two people who are no longer bulimic really could have used help from a professional but I don't think either of them could afford it? I don't know why they didn't use professional help.

From what I have observed, and through talking with these two relatives, I see that bulimia is not about being skinny. It's about having control over your life. It's kind of like an OCD situation. This really helps to explain why the guy got into it --- there were things going on with his family that he had no control over. Both of these relatives eventually shifted all of the attention they were giving to their disorder to exercise.

Because exercise is their focus they eat to fuel their workouts. And here is the cool thing -- when you exercise your brain releases the right chemicals to help you cope with whatever is stressing you (I should have mentioned that my two relatives are not on anti-depressants. When they are stressed they go for a run or go to the gym).

But be careful. I have read that exercising too much is another method for bulimia. Don't trade one disorder for the same disorder.

I don't know how this will all work out for you. I just know what worked for two people. If the root of your bulimia is control then maybe you need to shift that focus. It's probably not enough to just stop. You need something to replace it. And for two people that replacement was exercise.

Very true. I suffered from anorexia and bulimia as a teen and even into my early 20's for bulimia and was able to address it through exercise and routine. When I'm stressed and anxious, I feel the urge to overeat but I keep my coping things in place and I'm able to muscle through it, no pun intended.