Feeling desperate, so maybe this time it will stick.

rlshepherd

I've tried this so many times, but I've never felt more desperate. I get into this loop of eating too much, hating myself, considering vomiting it all, hating myself more, burying my feelings with more food, and so on. My weight has been out of control since my emotionally abusive marriage in 2011. Then I got divorced, which led to more weight gain. Then I met my new husband, and we all know how happy relationships also lead to weight gain. :P
I don't know when I developed this unhealthy relationship with food, but I'm pretty sure it started during my first marriage. All I know is that, since 2011, I've ballooned from 160 lbs to 219 lbs. I feel so out of control. I finally feel like I NEED to get this under control for my long-term mental health. I don't see myself as fat when I look in the mirror, but I am tired of feeling inflexible and tired of constantly buying larger clothes.
I don't want to go on a super restrictive diet. I want to continue to enjoy food, but more fruits and veggies. I've told my husband that we need to buy more produce to keep around for me to snack on (since I attend university online). Also, I informed him that we will be eating more salads despite his intense dislike of greenery. lol. I desperately hope that these changes will work. We already enjoy biking and walking, though that hasn't helped us lose any weight.
I'm hoping that posting this will make me more likely to commit this time.

knelson095

You can do it! Tracking everything really helped my relationship with food. I bought a $12 food scale off amazon and I love it. I started just under 9 weeks ago at a little more weight than you are now and I am already at a weight I haven't seen in over 6 years. It feels good and I have more energy and that's what keeps me going. It also helped to stop the mindless eating and grazing, like while watching tv, checking Facebook, etc. I don't really restrict types of food, just quantities. It helps me to not go crazy.

Good luck!

dubird

@rlshepherd My advice is to start slow. Spend a week or so weighing and logging but eating like your normally do. It WILL be a shock to find out what your totals are, but that gives you a baseline and lets you identify patterns, such as habitual snacking (my big issue!). Then, change one thing at a time and give yourself time to get used to it. I did lower amounts of things I ate, but the first major change was swapping out soda for lunch with unsweet tea with Equal. That cut 200-300 calories out of my day with just one change. When I got used to that, I changed something else. It's slow, but it worked. You will not lose weight fast, but it will be constant, and you'll be able to fit in your favorite foods, just less of them. That way, you don't feel like you're depriving yourself of things you like.

The thing is, you don't want this to be a 'diet'. Diets end, and when they do, if you haven't learned better eating habits (and a majority of people don't), the weight will come back. So instead of looking at this like a diet, look at it as retraining your brain and body to what proper portion of food is. You have to change your eating habits to better ones, and that takes a lot of time. But when you hit your goal, you'll be much better equipped to KEEP the weight off. And if it starts to climb up, you'll know what to adjust to correct it before it gets out of control.

This is not a diet plan. This is you taking control of yourself. And if you use a therapist to help, that's perfectly fine. Sounds to me like you're on the road to an eating disorder, so best get the help you need now before it really becomes bad.

Also, exercise is not needed for weight loss. Just throwing that out there because I know it'll come up at some point. It's good for other things, so if you can add something, do so. But you can lose weight by just controlling your calorie intake, and if you can't or don't want to exercise right now, don't force yourself. Concentrate on your eating habits for now, and add some kind of exercise when you're more comfortable doing so.

gothchiq

If you are actually barfing it, please see the doc for treatment before it wrecks all your teeth. So many of my friends have destroyed theirs in this manner.

If yr not that bad off yet, try seeing a nutritionist if you can scrape up the money. That's the way I finally created a sustainable plan of sufficient nutrition while still cutting out enough calories to lose the weight. It's easier to take control and keep it when a professional is guiding you through it.