Looking for Friends to Motivate!

AFettes21

I know this is going to be long but please bear with me. I really need to get this out! I'm really struggling right now! I've never been depressed, other than some undiagnosed post-partum depression after having my son a year and a half ago, but I think I'm heading in that direction. I'm struggling to be happy, even at home...and anyone who knows me knows that I am always happy! I think I may have figured out why but now I have to fix it. I love my husband, I love my kids, but since having my son and gaining weight back, I'm struggling to love myself. This, in turn, makes it difficult for me to believe that anyone else can love me either. I had tried for years to lose weight in college but I don't think I was truly ready so nothing I tried worked. So after having my daughter 4 years ago, I decided enough was enough and decided to start using MFP to lose weight. I'm not exactly sure what happened but I never struggled. The minute I decided that I wanted this, I stuck with it. Sure I had my days where I struggled but overall, I did great and had lost 99 pounds. This is where I think that my depression is kicking in. Now that I have had my son, it does not matter what I'm doing, I'm struggling to stay focused and keep with it. I have gained back 40 pounds and I'm so disgusted with myself. I am very competitive and don't like to fail so to struggle with getting back on track is killing me! My husband doesn't understand because he is a beanpole and can eat whatever he wants. Somehow, I need to figure this out and get back to losing weight because if I don't, I'm afraid I might spiral into full blown depression. Please help me get back the motivation that I am lacking!!!

weikswagen

You kind of already said it yourself. You said enough was enough after the birth of your daighter. Now, you struggle to be motivated. It's all in the mindset.

I'm not a doctor but as an observer, I would say not loving yourself isn't the problem. Otherwise, you wouldn't be reaching out. What has you down is your perception of yourself and projecting that perception onto others about you. I don't know if that's normal but it sure is common.

Also, from my experience, it is harder to lose weight after one has gone through a weight loss program. I mean that more psychologically than it being actually more difficult.

On one hand, you know you can do it because you have done it. On the other hand, you remember it was tough.

Your previous dedication made it less tough. One can't snap their fingers and become instantly motivated.

My suggestion is to channel the dedication into bite sized chunks so you are not looking endlessly at the big picture.

At your next weigh-in starting tomorrow, set your goal to lose 5 pounds in 10 weeks. Weigh-in as often as you like along the way.

If you lose your 5 pounds sooner than 70 days, start a new chunk of 5 pounds in 10 weeks.

If you don't make your first goal, take what you have lost and start a new 10-week chunk. If you make your first goal but not your second goal, you can do one of two things.

You can add the "bonus time" from the first goal essentially making it 10 pounds in 20 weeks, or you can just simply start a new 10-week chunk for 5 pounds.

The beauty of this approach is even if you "lose" by only losing 3.5 pounds, you still lost 3.5 pounds. And, then, you start a new challenge. If your first two or three chunks are successful, you're closing in on being halfway to 40 pounds lost and have amassed a lot of bonus time.

I personally like the bonus time option because the last 5 pounds is a tougher percentage of weight to lose than the first five pounds. It also comes in handy when on reaches the inevitible weight loss plateaus.

Good luck!