Feel insecure about my body

fitnessqueen91

I'm 5"7- 5 "8 and weigh between 12 stone 3 - 4lb (77.5 - 78kg). I'm really serious about losing weight but I feel insecure about my body. I wear a UK size 12 /14, though in places like top shop I'm a 14. I feel insecure about my body. I work out hard and eat healthy but it takes ages to see results. I have friends who don't have to worry about their weight and they're thin. I have a friend who is a tiny size 6/8 and she never worries about her weight.

I take photos of my progress but I look fat and bloated in some photos and some OK. I take like fifty photos to get at least one decent photo. I'm worried I'm not attractive. Only skinny men fancy me because they like big women but I don't fancy skinny men and like guys who are muscular or have some meat on them. My mum says most men don't go for overweight women and only like thin women. My mum moans that she can't find a man because she's overweight. My mum is still attractive and is so pretty and dresses well and she's in proportion and not that big. Maybe men like small and slim women. Sorry for rant.

BZAH10

First of all, what men want is irrelevant! It's your body, so how it looks and feels is all about what YOU and only you want. Sorry, but secondly, stop listening to your mom. I think she's confusing you and not projecting a very healthy example. Not being mean. I'm sure your mom is a lovely person, but don't let her influence you as far as body image.

Focus on your health and maybe fitness goals if you work out. Photos can be tricky. Don't obsess and over analyze. You are very pretty from your profile pic! Work on feeling good about yourself and all the other stuff will fall into place. Also, you don't need a man to make you happy. You have to be happy with yourself first and foremost.

spat095

I agree, please don't make this about men - OR photos...even your scale, if it becomes about the number, throw it out. Eat healthy, exercise, do it for life, do it for YOU.

zoeysasha37

First of all, when you find the right man , it won't matter what shape or size you are. He will like you no matter what. Do this for you, not for men.

But my mom and grandmom where the same way. They always told me " you won't find a rich man unless your thin so stop eating " it made me feel awful.

Anyway, I don't know the conversion for your weight ( I'm American so only know pounds. I don't know how to covert stones into pounds ) so I dont know your weight. But were about the same height. I'm 5'8-135 lbs.
Is that your current weight in your profile picture ? You don't look heavy to me?

MarkBenedikt

Beautiful is beautiful...there are no numbers for that. Be healthy, Be well, Be you!

ivyo9

I too struggle with being insecure when it comes to my body. One of the main reasons is the fact that all the girls around me are very thin (sizes 0-4 max). But you have to remember that your size really doesnt matter. Health is the thing you should be looking at. Many thin girls are deficient in all kinds of vitamins and minerals and can barely run 500 meters. Stop listening you your mother when it comes to your body. Its better for your mental health. When you focus on exercising, eating healthy and eating at a deficit the kilos will come off. And dont worry about what men like. The ones who focus only on your body measurments are not worth it anyway (sorry for the spelling errors)

Nicki_G724

BZAH10 wrote: »

First of all, what men want is irrelevant! It's your body, so how it looks and feels is all about what YOU and only you want. Sorry, but secondly, stop listening to your mom. I think she's confusing you and not projecting a very healthy example. Not being mean. I'm sure your mom is a lovely person, but don't let her influence you as far as body image.

Focus on your health and maybe fitness goals if you work out. Photos can be tricky. Don't obsess and over analyze. You are very pretty from your profile pic! Work on feeling good about yourself and all the other stuff will fall into place. Also, you don't need a man to make you happy. You have to be happy with yourself first and foremost.

Amen! I totally second this. It's really hard to get the through this journey with someone always bringing you down, trust me I know. I feel the same way about my body at times but have just learned to tell myself, this body is under construction, you may not like like the look of the mess while it's being built but once it's finished, it will be a beautiful healthy, happy sight!

Feel free to add me. I want to be a friend for all on this journey...it's one of the hardest ones.

6502programmer

innerfatty91 wrote: »

I'm 5"7- 5 "8 and weigh between 12 stone 3 - 4lb (77.5 - 78kg). I'm really serious about losing weight but I feel insecure about my body. I wear a UK size 12 /14, though in places like top shop I'm a 14. I feel insecure about my body. I work out hard and eat healthy but it takes ages to see results. I have friends who don't have to worry about their weight and they're thin. I have a friend who is a tiny size 6/8 and she never worries about her weight.

I take photos of my progress but I look fat and bloated in some photos and some OK. I take like fifty photos to get at least one decent photo. I'm worried I'm not attractive. Only skinny men fancy me because they like big women but I don't fancy skinny men and like guys who are muscular or have some meat on them. My mum says most men don't go for overweight women and only like thin women. My mum moans that she can't find a man because she's overweight. My mum is still attractive and is so pretty and dresses well and she's in proportion and not that big. Maybe men like small and slim women. Sorry for rant.

First, on this, your mom is nuts. I'm not a skinny man (yet), but I prefer a woman who feels like a woman when I hold her. Irrespective of that, the single most attractive thing on my wife is between her ears, and I'm not referring to her warm, wonderful smile. I can speak with more authority on this topic than your mom.

Second, you are your own yardstick. You are responsible only to you. You're losing weight for you, not anyone else.

Azuriaz

All the don't do this for men, do it for you advice is true. Whatever you accomplish, in the end, has staying power only if it's for you.

That said: join gym, workout, build muscle, get very fit and healthy, all while being around your natural prey: those muscular men you like!

Bet you'll find one before you're even halfway to reaching your fitness goals. Not all the muscular guys in the world just want lean girls! And then you two can blissfully go work out together.

fitnessqueen91

Thanks guys for the supportive messages! I'm still finding it hard as my weight loss is slow and my clothes feel the same despite exercising like crazy and eating healthy.

JustMissTracy

First...I've been there, struggled with Body Image Dismorphia for years, and I probably still do if Im honest with myself....lifelong struggle for many....THAT SAID, I'm 46 and have learned alot about myself, and about men....Men like everything. (No offense, men)....but that should have no bearing on you, or on your body image. Is that you in the picture? If yes, I'd like to say you are beautiful. Any person would be happy and lucky to be with you, and to love you. But who cares what other people want or think? In the end, it's YOUR body. YOU have to be happy with it. If you attach your own self worth to someone else's opinion, then you are cheating yourself. You deserve better for YOU! May I suggest you might do well talking to someone about your image issues. You mention a few times that you are insecure with your body. A lot of what we feel, is what we tell ourselves. If you always tell yourself you are beautiful, you are strong, you are valuable and lovable, you WILL be...and you will PROJECT that onto other people. The most beautiful people aren't perfect, fit, or stacked. They are confident....they smile....they look you in the eye with that smile...YOU can do that too! Good luck to you, I pray you find peace in yourself! xoxo

JustMissTracy

6502programmer wrote: »

innerfatty91 wrote: »

I'm 5"7- 5 "8 and weigh between 12 stone 3 - 4lb (77.5 - 78kg). I'm really serious about losing weight but I feel insecure about my body. I wear a UK size 12 /14, though in places like top shop I'm a 14. I feel insecure about my body. I work out hard and eat healthy but it takes ages to see results. I have friends who don't have to worry about their weight and they're thin. I have a friend who is a tiny size 6/8 and she never worries about her weight.

I take photos of my progress but I look fat and bloated in some photos and some OK. I take like fifty photos to get at least one decent photo. I'm worried I'm not attractive. Only skinny men fancy me because they like big women but I don't fancy skinny men and like guys who are muscular or have some meat on them. My mum says most men don't go for overweight women and only like thin women. My mum moans that she can't find a man because she's overweight. My mum is still attractive and is so pretty and dresses well and she's in proportion and not that big. Maybe men like small and slim women. Sorry for rant.

First, on this, your mom is nuts. I'm not a skinny man (yet), but I prefer a woman who feels like a woman when I hold her. Irrespective of that, the single most attractive thing on my wife is between her ears, and I'm not referring to her warm, wonderful smile. I can speak with more authority on this topic than your mom.

Second, you are your own yardstick. You are responsible only to you. You're losing weight for you, not anyone else.

Well said!

JustMissTracy

MarkBenedikt wrote: »

Beautiful is beautiful...there are no numbers for that. Be healthy, Be well, Be you!

This. Exactly!