Not taking it anymore

MishIsCrazy

Hey, newbie here!

I've been overweight for my entire life. I don't remember a time when I was ever thin. Even as a child when I had "scrawny" limbs, I still had the tummy. I do remember being 3 and thinking I was fat, though. That was around the same age that someone called me "ugly" for the first time. I would say my weight was at it's lowest at around 12 or 13 when I was dancing 6 days a week for a minimum of 30 minutes a day (probably more like 3 or 4 hours a day), but I ate like garbage, so I was still overweight or (chubby). When I quit, my weight ballooned. By the time I graduated high school in 2011, I was at 210 lbs, my highest. It killed me inside. I went on weight watchers and got down to probably 160 before I quit between school and work eating all my time. I'm not quite that heavy anymore, but I've been teetering between 180 and 190, which is way too close for comfort. I have the lowest self-esteem and cry to my boyfriend all the time about how fat and unattractive I feel.

So I'm saying enough is enough and trying to lose weight, get down to where I ought to be, and most importantly, to be able to not want to rip my skin off every time I look in the mirror. True, some people are confident without being thin, but weight is such a huge source of upset for me, I feel like it is time to stop crying about it unless I'm actually going to DO something.

So I guess this is me doing something.

juiceplusbecky

The first step is often the hardest! Great attitude . . . as the mama of an 18 year old daughter who has taken control of her food and exercise and has been an inspiration to me, let me tell you that you can do this!!

walleyclan1

Congrats on deciding to fight! Best of luck and hold onto this moment of feeling strong, excited, and motivated!

chooriyah

Welcome!

I started around 200 and it's taken me 10 months to lose 22 lbs. Got another 22 to go! MFP has been a great tool for me and it's really working. You've just got to be patient, change one thing at a time, and not expect to lose 20 lbs in a month. Don't get frustrated. When you mess up (and we ALL do), pick yourself back up, don't beat yourself up and get back to logging.

Log everything honestly, and if that means you have to keep your diary closed for now, do that. Find a calorie limit that is sustainable and will cause a slow loss of around 1/2 lb a week. If you try too hard, the chances of 'falling off the wagon' are much higher. For most people, 1200 calories is too low.

Eat your exercise calories back - use them to earn treats!

Good luck!

leebesstoad

Congrats on taking this step. Please feel free to add me as a friend and support if I can be of help.

But if I can offer one piece of advice? It's great that you have a boyfriend who will let you cry to him about how fat and unattractive you are. STOP IT!!!!! STOP IT NOW!!!!!!! First of all, if he's your boyfriend, he doesn't see you that way. That should tell you something right there. We are our own worst enemies. We can't judge how we look at all. But as someone who did the self-deprecation, self-criticism bit far more severely than you, for far more years than you have been alive, trust me. THAT is what will cause problems and potentially drive him away. Having someone you care about constantly putting themselves down hurts. He will feel inadequate that he can't help the person he cares about understand how wonderful they are, what they mean to him, what he sees in them, why he thinks they are special. So he will support you as you lose weight. He'll be your biggest cheerleader. He will encourage you. But please. Stop putting yourself down. Get that voice out of your head. I know that voice all too well, because it lived in my head for a very, VERY long time. It kills your spirit and it kills relationships. The other reason to stop that is quite simple: I'm certain it isn't true. It almost never is.

Congratulations on what you've done so far and on taking this step. I'm here if you need support and I'm sure the rest of the community will be here to help you along the way too. Good luck.

Karenforothers

Welcome, I'm new here too.

marijkesunley

Welcome, just signed on today. Good luck

Sammynd

You have taken the first step, feel free to add me as a friend if you want some company on your journey, I started mine 4 weeks ago.

FrustratedYoYoer

Congratulations on deciding to turn things around. Being and/or feeling fat is a major source of low self esteem for me so i can appreciate whre you're coming from. I've lost 63 lbs now since Oct 2009. If u want some support, feel free to add me.

lucyprunner

Good luck! This is the start of your amazing mfp journey. Enjoy it!