My Attempt to Become Less of a Man -- a comedy of sorts [PICS]

lesspaul

(apologies if photos are big -- photobucket resize has a bit of a lag)

Less Paul Project 2015:
First 8 hours went without a hitch. No hunger pangs, no binge eating, nothing calorically rich. Now awake.

Day 1:
Twenty-six more minutes till I can eat again. Just noticed menu suggestions on microwave. All sound good.


Day 2:
Just because I'm dieting doesn't mean I can't enjoy an evening snack. After counting up today's calories I have more than enough for this delightful dessert:


Day 3:
I've been asked why I decided I had to lose weight. Well, it was because last week I got on the scale and saw this. It was the tipping point.


Day 4:
Saw neighbor's cat eating a dead mouse.
Got jealous.

Day 5:
So far no ill effects from diet other than profound hunger. On an unrelated note, I never noticed before how tiring typing can be.

Day 6:
I'm starting to think I might need to increase my calories a bit. This morning I got dizzy, light-headed, and disoriented in the shower. When I regained my composure I saw this. On the upside, the suds in my stomach are oddly filling.


Day 7:
Went to Walmart to get protein drinks. I felt thinner as soon as I entered the store.

Day 8:
Other than fainting spells the diet seems to be progressing without a hitch. I figured should start sharing some tips. Protein drinks don't fill me up, and a half hour later I'm hungry again.
Problem solved.
All I needed to do was add a bit of fiber, and what has more fiber than a tree? I simply mix two drinks with one heaping cup of sawdust and shavings and I have a smoothie that will keep me busy all day long!
In case you want to duplicate my recipe, I use mostly pine, accented with sugar maple for sweetness, and a few black walnut shavings top it off with a nutty accent. Add more sawdust to make a great substitute for oatmeal.
ENJOY!


Day 9:
Thank you to a fellow MFP user for sharing this delectable low-calorie ice cream recipe!


Day 10:
Well, so far everything has been going much better than expected, but I guess it should be no surprise that the best of intentions can be met with setbacks. Yes, today I fell off the wagon.

I wasn't expecting it, but my neighbor said it happens to just about everyone, and that I shouldn't be surprised. She also asked me to stay off the wagon from now on because I'm too big and it is only meant for her kids.

In other news the diet is going well.

Day 11:
I was reading about how dieting can cause you to lose muscle unless you force them to build, such as by lifting weights.
Sounds good, and I'm committed to the idea. The problem is that I'm stymied. My wife keeps forgetting to bring the weights up out of the basement!

Day 12:
Already at update 12! A dozen updates. Donuts come in dozens. And cupcakes... Sorry, a bit of daydreaming there.

One of the reasons I'm dieting is this Fall Leanne and I are going to Hawaii. Since my old bathing suit isn't going to fit my new buff physique, I was on Amazon last night shopping for a new suit. I found a bright red Speedo that seemed to fit the bill, but when my wife saw it she said there was no way she would be seen in public with me if I bought that suit.

So the question is: What color Speedo should I buy?

Day 13:
Girl Scout Thin Mints DO NOT WORK!

Day 14:
I'm not sure why yo-yo dieting gets so much bad press. I agree it's not the best exercise, but it sure can help you work off stress and avoid nervous eating. Plus, it's really hard to eat a Big Mac and do an Around-the-World at the same time.


Day 15:
My bad. The highway patrolman made it profoundly clear that I had misunderstood the meaning of intermittent fast.

getitamb

This kind of sums up intermittent fasting. Lol