21 year old male - diet and health questions

skinniboi4eva

Greetings all. Long post to follow, you have been warned, but hopefully some will take the time to read and offer some help. I am a 21 year old male, and in something of a unique situation as far as things go. My story is a long one, it started at about 14 years old. Until then, I was a chubby kid, never obese but on the plump side. As to be expected, I got teased horribly in school, called fat, et cetera. At 14 I snapped and lost a lot of weight. It coincided with me growing taller as well, so between both I leaned out quite a bit. However, the problem was that that wasn't enough, and in response to the former pressure, I developed an ED. I restricted what I ate and exercised a lot from 15-18. During a time when most other boys were pigging out in the lunch room, I was hardly eating. At 17 I actually became anorexic, and went from 119 to 99 lbs at 5'6" over the course of a year.

From 18 to the present I recovered, and between now and that time I have weighed everything between 100 and 140, with widely fluctuating weight. The ED wasn't without consequences, I believe I have ended up shorter than I might have been otherwise (currently 5'6", my father is 5'7" and my sister 5'8", though if I am lucky I may still grow). I am also behind development-wise and am still sort of going through puberty, at worst, I look about 15-16 instead of my actual age.

As anyone who has had an eating disorder will know, the voices and obsessions are very hard to fight. My recovery was mostly on my own, I only had limited dialogues with specialists, but they did advise to stop weighing myself. I only take weight every few weeks now, and I try to not focus on the number. I also have difficulty stopping counting calories. Most days I try to stay under 2,000 or what will maintain my weight. However, I do work a very active job, 40 hours a week doing construction and contracting, and the hunger builds up. On some days I am starving and can consume 5,000 calories. I do not know whether this qualifies me as a binge eater, or whether it is simply backlash from years of restriction that I am making up for now. During the summers I seem to dip down into the 120s, fall and winter 130-140. I stay active by running and riding my bike, and my job.

The fact that I may still grow only adds complexity to the situation, though the chances are waning that I will do so, it is definitely a possibility. I try to stay healthy now, of course I always want to be skinnier though. I don't eat junk food and watch sugar in particular.

What should I do? Does anyone have advice to offer?

mattbeck180

I was always a fat kid though out my whole life. It was a mental thing for me gaining weight after I lost 100lb. You have to get your mind right and be willing to change. Don't be scared to put on alittle weight. Just focuse on your goals!!!! Hope this helps some good luck

AspenDan

Hmmm, I'm in a similar boat, grew up chubby. But instead of losing weight I just built up a wall and actually gained about 100lb, up to 337.
I don't have any advice, but just wanted to share that we all have struggles and I think simply typing out that eloquently worded post was probably therapeutic.
I hope you get some good advice here, and thanks for sharing.

RodaRose

I read it and it is not too long. You wrote a beautiful post. Did you see only "talk" therapists and medical people who focused on your behavior -- what you could do to help yourself? Perhaps find a psychiatrist for evaluation and medicine.

lacost

I too am 21 years old and have struggled with an eating disorder for much of my life. I am a female however, so I would think my experience would be much different and my assumption is that services for males are few and far between. I can only speak to my experience, and whether you would find that helpful, I am not sure. But I think it is worth a try.

My biggest piece of advise would be time heals. I didnt believe this at first but I find myself more able to stop counting calories as time goes on. I also try to speak with people I trust about my experience. My experience has been verbalizing my feelings and thoughts with people I feel safe around gives me an outlet that is healthier than the alternative. This can challenging sometimes also though as many people label people with eating disorders, and I suspect it would be even more challenging for you as a male.

In terms of advice moving forward, all I can really suggest is finding balance and routine in your life. I personally try not to look at MFP as a way to loose weight but instead something to hold me accountable for ensuring I consume calories. When I find myself getting off track - changing my frame of mind - I stop logging. I make goals for calorie consumption and this number has increased over time.

Feel free to add me if youd like to chat more

PinkPixiexox

Thank you for sharing and for being so honest about your ED.

It sounds as though this is something you are still trying to handle - congratulations for remaining strong throughout. What I would suggest is speaking to your doctor who can refer you to a decent, knowledgeable therapist. I think you need to go right back to the beginning of your relationship with food and address the triggers to your under-eating. It's always sensible to be aware of calories but there needs to be a healthy balance there. I'm certainly not an expert on eating disorders but I do have experience with food fears and deprivation and I think you need to face all of your food demons head on in a controlled environment. I promise you can overcome this internal battle - but it will take some time, dedication and self belief. Wishing you the very best of luck in the journey toward a healthier you

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kshama2001

@skinniboi4eva - I see you want to lose 30 pounds. If you tell MFP that you want to lose 1 pound per week, and give it your Activity Level, which seems like it might be Active or Very Active, how many calories per day does it tell you to eat before exercise? I wonder if you feel starving because you are indeed not eating enough for your activity level.

cafeaulait7

It doesn't sound like you need to lose any weight, but you didn't tell your weight right now. You know that your opinion of a high weight on you is probably skewed from your disorder, right?

I would find out how many calories it takes to maintain at least 135 lbs with your activity level, etc. Then I'd eat those. I'd make it a nice range of foods to give the nutrients you need to grow and to grow muscle from your job. And I'd try my best to not consider that fat Best of luck!

skinniboi4eva

cafeaulait7 wrote: »

It doesn't sound like you need to lose any weight, but you didn't tell your weight right now. You know that your opinion of a high weight on you is probably skewed from your disorder, right?

I would find out how many calories it takes to maintain at least 135 lbs with your activity level, etc. Then I'd eat those. I'd make it a nice range of foods to give the nutrients you need to grow and to grow muscle from your job. And I'd try my best to not consider that fat Best of luck!

Thanks for the help I haven't weighed in awhile, the last time I did I was 130. I'd say 5'6"-5'7" 135 sounds right for what I am at the present (I think I grew an inch over summer). Of course I feel like that is a high weight, is that skewed? I honestly feel like 120 would be better. I have had people tell me that is a very low weight for my height though.

I have heard, and I don't know if it's true or not, that being a little bit overweight is actually always "healthier" than being underweight. I also hear kids with higher BMIs hit puberty / go through puberty faster. Thoughts?