why do I keep starting all over again?

mariadcarmenr21

I always do good for a while, go to the gym work out and eat so healthy
I stop drinking soda and I do really good, then one day I eat unhealthy again and I feel tired from work so I stay home. After I just think its okay to quiet, I think my brain thinks I am just balancing but to be honest I feel really bad for giving up. I feel fat after I eat if i don't workout, what can I do not to give up? I need a lot of motivation! its just me and my workout I have nothing or nobody else that motivates me at all!

madhatter2013

Will power and discipline. Go out and buy yourself a dress that is a size too small. Maybe that will help you work harder to fit into it. When you do fit into it, get one size smaller, etc, until you're happy with the way you look.

mariadcarmenr21

That's actually a really good idea! thanks!

anndisme2

I can relate. I've been in the same boat. And many have. I think it's human nature. We tend back toward our old habits if we don't consciously, deliberately, try to change the habits. (Especially when we get tired, or otherwise discouraged.) I've heard it said that it takes 30 days (some say more) to change a habit. Last week I started a "100 days until 2016" challenge" on my own. I'm trying to AT THE VERY LEAST post a status about my progress for the day, and want to stick with it. I have daily personal goals, but life is so busy, and I've already gotten sidetracked. I'm hoping the commitment to post my progress will at least keep me accountable, and hopefully create some new good habits! I haven't relied on MFP much, but the support of others seems to have helped many, so I'm going to give it a go myself. Keep trying! You can do it!

notwaitin

I made it a point to just stick with my calorie goals and aim to focus on the protein goal, at least just that. The protein keeps me satisfied. I used to quit logging if I ate unhealthy foods, but now you will see ice cream, chips and fast food in my journal. I set my calories at 1800, but I do workout 5 days/week, I normally eat 1400-1600, weekends get up to 1800. My key was not setting crazy low calories and expecting not to eat some of the junk I love. My taste buds are slowly changing and now I prefer my crazy delicious homemade food to restaurant food.

mariadcarmenr21

Thank you! I need a lot of motivation! I been on my own on this for ever!

fressita214

I'm following on this one because I'm on the same boat as you are.. I do soooo good and then, I just give up.

tayloralanj

It's a process. I relate it to having a 401k. Just keep investing, it will have ups and downs, but at the end of it's lifecycle, it will be a nice little nest egg (or the government will confiscate it). Might be a bad example, but the point is, persistence pays, and if you just keep shooting for your mark and work toward your objective, even though you have some not so good days, you'll be a lot farther than if you had not worked toward it at all. This year has been great for me because on average, I hit the gym at least three times a week and I don't sit around and eat a bag of chips everynight or so like I did last year. Wasn't on a "regular" training schedule last year either. So compared to last year, as a whole, I've improved substantially. Lost 40lbs doing it. No real big changes either, in hindsight anyway.

Patttience

ACtuallly for me madhatter's advice does not work. I have things in my wardrobe that i like and want to wear that i will probably never be able to wear becuase they are too small.

No. Listen Marla, i know what you are doing wrong. Or at least one of the things you are doing wrong is screamingly obvious to me. I did like you and actually lost weight many times but always put it back on again when i stopped. I"m talking about exercise. You do not need to exercise to lose weight.

If only people would believe when i tell them this.

Weightloss without exericse is so much simpler. It is a lot easier to stay motivated when you don't have to push yourself to do things you don't feel like doing.

It takes more than 30 days to change a habit. At 30 days you are just getting started. With regard to exercise, i have gone for periods of around 3 months usually and then just stopped for various reasons - injury, new job, problem whatever. So much for the new "habit".

Anyway back to my rant. Forgive me, i do get a little frustrated at how suckered in everyone is to this idea that exercise is necessary for weightloss. Exericse helps you to keep it off. Its not necessary to lose it. And in fact i would say that if you don't learn how to lose weight without exercise, you risk failure down the track so I believe that for most people who need ot lose a fair bit of weight, it is better to not bother with exercise until you are close to goal or when you feel like trying something.

You see if you if you take this approach, and when you start something you can't keep it up, you won't lose heart and head back to all your old habits becuase you know from experience that all is not lost. You know how to lose weight and manage it without exercise so when you stop, you are fine.

But where you are at now, as is the case with so many, the comes when you don't exericse for this or that reasons, usually becuase you are tired or just don't feel excited by it, you think you are about to fall off the wagon, and then you do becuase you are afraid you are falling off the wagon and you think this because you think you can't lose weight without exercise.

So i'm here to tell you that losing weight and keeping it off are actually fairly easy. I have done it. I have pushed the boundaries of this experience. I have explored the edges and know this first hand. Its not merely an idea, or a second hand notion. That said, scientists also do support what i'm saying.

So my one liner for al this is exercise for health, not for weightloss. For weightloss, just fix your diet. There's more to successful dieting than even this and i've written a blog post about it which i've also posted in the getting started forum. Its called The Fundamentals of successful long term weightloss. These fundamentals apply to us all so please read the post and don't be too quick to dismiss what i have found out first hand and which is supported by scientists and other professionals in the area of weightloss. I am not a kid. I have years of life experience behind me at 51 and I am slim and healthy now. Much happier and also better looking than i was when fat.

trishk82

I always have done the same in the past. I give up soda, workout, and eat really healthy. Then one day I just give up. I don't know why I do it. This time, however, I feel really determined. I am dedicated to making it work! I find that planning healthy meals in advance helps me stay on track. I actually get excited about it! Good luck!

dubird

If you give up your favorite things to eat, then you will eventually go back to them. What you need to learn is how to MODERATE your favorite foods. When I started, I cut out soda for lunch and eating out, which cut 200-300 calories out of my day! But that doesn't mean I don't drink soda. I still have my Barqs on game nights, and if I'm really short on my calories at the end of the day, I'll have a can of something. I just bought a bag of candy corn and took the time to portion it out by weight for what it says a serving is. I used a lot of baggies, but this way when I want candy corn, I grab a portion that I can fit into my daily calories and that satisfies that craving instead of just eating out of the bag, which will put me WAY over! XD Don't look at this as a diet. Look at it as you're going to change your eating habits for the future. Yes, it's slower. And you will have off days. That's normal. But by doing so, when you hit your target goal, you're better equipped to STAY there and not gain back.

Also, Patttience is correct: exercise IS NOT NECESSARY for weight loss. It's good for other things, but you can lose weight without exercise. I did. I've started walking now to try and get my asthma under control, but my daily calories are figured without that. So if you don't like or can't exercise right now, don't. Control your calories in by moderating your eating habits and you'll still lose weight.

Thing is, ANY diet plan of any kind, when you boil it down to the basics, is based on the fact that weight loss happens when you burn more calories than you consume. That's it. How you do it is up to you. Some people just control calories in, some step up activity to burn more, and some do a combination of those two. You have to find a way that works FOR YOU.

mariadcarmenr21

I wish I could just stop quitting! I think it's time for a big change!

kami3006

mariadcarmenr21 wrote: »

I wish I could just stop quitting! I think it's time for a big change!

Big changes are usually what make this unsustainable. Moderate your foods; don't cut them out. Weigh out your portions so you know what your actual intake is. Keep in a deficit and enjoy what you like. When you're ready, add in exercise in a form you enjoy: walk, run, join a sports league, swim, go outside and play with the dog, etc.)
Small changes are what's needed.

ETA: and form reasonable expectations of weightloss. It's not linear and it takes time.

dubird

mariadcarmenr21 wrote: »

I wish I could just stop quitting! I think it's time for a big change!

Big changes all at once can backfire. If you've tried big changes before and they didn't work, try starting with smaller changes. Spend a week weighing and logging EVERYTHING without changing your eating habits. It will be a shock to see the calorie counts when you actually weigh everything, but this is just so you have a baseline to start from. Then, pick something to cut down or swap out and give yourself a week or two to adjust to it. Then, change something else. Yes, this is much slower!! But which is better, a yo-yo method that makes you miserable or changing your eating habits so you can stay at your target when you get to it?

farfromthetree

I didn't read the comments so I'm sorry if this is a repeat. One thing I have learned is to stop feeling like a failure if you have a soda or something you think is "unhealthy". Get rid of this all-or-nothing mentality. So you have a soda...or a piece of chocolate...just log it and move on. No one eats "healthy" all the time. Just do the best you can every meal, every day, every week and eventually it gets easier to stay on track.
As far as the gym goes, you must find something you truly enjoy. That is the only way I am consistent with the gym! Good luck!

Boot camps, crossfit, classes...places where you get to know people are the best. You motivate eachother and look forward to seeing them!

Tedebearduff

mariadcarmenr21 wrote: »

I always do good for a while, go to the gym work out and eat so healthy
I stop drinking soda and I do really good, then one day I eat unhealthy again and I feel tired from work so I stay home. After I just think its okay to quiet, I think my brain thinks I am just balancing but to be honest I feel really bad for giving up. I feel fat after I eat if i don't workout, what can I do not to give up? I need a lot of motivation! its just me and my workout I have nothing or nobody else that motivates me at all!

You don't need motivation you need dedication, I don't think anyone can help you with what you choose to do but you.... make the choice or stop complaining about it.

socioseguro

I consider eating "out" of my nutrition plan as having a flat tire.
I repaired it and move on
I do not get out of the car, slash the other 3 tires and abandon the car
Life happens. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go back to your nutrition plan
This is a lifestyle change, not a "diet"
Good luck with your healthy journey

MariliaPa

I can totally relate to what you are going through - Yesterday was the 100th time I started counting calories and trying to lose weight. It's so frustrating to have to start again and being unable to say you've met your ultimate goal weight.

I don't think it's a matter of complaining- dieting & weightless is hard work.
Yes, you don't need exercise to lose weight but it helps get the weight off faster.
I find that I usually replace and eat large quantities of food when I'm bored or stressed - so maybe you need to think about how you feel when you have an urge to eat more than you should?
Is food a replacement for something else you need? Maybe it's a way to pass some time or a comfort thing?

Personally, I try to keep myself busy and out of the house as much as possible so that I don't thing about food too much.

cookiealbright

If you keep starting over, you are not really quitting. You just rested for awhile. If you have a bad day or two, just pick it up & keep going. You got this.

kasleighx3

I have the same problem!! All through college i constantly said I was going to lose the weight I kept gaining but never really did much to change my habits. When your school is rated as having one of the top meal plans in the country, self control is hard hahaha. Then this past June my best friend got married and I lost 18 lbs for her wedding (I had ordered a size too small bridesmaid dress lol). Then the wedding was over and my motivation was gone. I fell into bad habits and gained a few lbs back. Now I'm back trying to lose another 15 lbs for my family's trip to Costa Rica in December. I'm probably one of those people that is going to constantly need a goal in front of me to keep up motivation. After Costa Rica I'll probably use summer time as my next goal. I find if I have a time sensitive goal in mind I stay on track better.

nyponbell

I have started doing a kind of "weekly goals" list (to help me towards my "short term" and "long term" goals) and it seems to help, kind of taking it one day at a time but still keeping myself accountable for that week (only!). So if I go over one day, by the end of the week, I try to make sure I even out.

Also, keep in mind that as much as it sucks to feel like you have to start over again and again (trust me, I've been there a lot!) you are at least starting again. It's not a failure.

canadianvampyregurl

im with you girl !!!! I do so well for a while then boom...it's like my brain just stops...I beat myself up emotionally, get back on the horse and ride for a while...then that moment hits again

I am NOT a fan of going to the gym and working out for an hour !!! As a matter of fact, I cant stand it. I do like doing a Zumba class now and then but to lift weights or run on the treadmill for 45 mins (which I cant do anyway) is not my idea of a good time. I'm going to go for a walk on my lunch hour because that makes me feel good. Not because I have to change in to workout clothes and sweat like a bugger to feel like ive done anything.

Please friend me if you'd like..anyone friend me I do track all my food and keep myself accountable that way. So I know that works for me.

Buying smaller clothes isn't a motivator for me...it's a waste of money. When I need smaller clothes, I buy them then I do however, refuse to buy anymore pants that don't have a zipper...I have yoga pants and sweats to lounge around home in but ive had those for awhile. Any jeans or dress pants I buy now MUST have a zipper..that's my rule.

I hope everyone has a really good day and lets try not to be too hard on ourselves Much love from Canada

mousie1973

madhatter2013 wrote: »

Will power and discipline. Go out and buy yourself a dress that is a size too small. Maybe that will help you work harder to fit into it. When you do fit into it, get one size smaller, etc, until you're happy with the way you look.

I did this... I have a dress that i bought in may that is a few sizes too small and every so often i try it on... when i started i couldn't even get it over my chest... now it can get it on and almost zip it... about 20 more pounds and i should be in it! I have an event in February that i plan on wearing it at..

lawtechie

Keep at it. Like another poster said think of it like an investment but in the opposite -- investments go up, your weight goes down. On a week to week basis you may have fluctuation, but over time -- months/year, youll see it go down.

Log, log, always log. The good and the 'bad'. There are times when I feel guilty about blowing my calories and I may not log the same day, but the next day I'll go back and log it and you know -- it wasn't all THAT bad, maybe 5-600 over. No biggie in the long run.

Count your small sucesses besides just the scale. Those NSV (non scale victories) as they call it. Stronger heart, more flexibility, tighter muscles, looser feeling clothes, 10,000 steps each day.

I do disagree with another poster that exercise isn't needed. I think you should incorporate exercise because it will make you healthy, and for me that's what this is all about. Getting healthy, not just losing weight.

Athelene

In the grand scheme of things we all start over everyday. Everyday is a new day and a new chance to do better than we did the day before. If you stumble on the eating & exercise goal for a particular day, brush yourself off and start afresh w/the new day. Hang in there.

dubird

lawtechie wrote: »

Count your small sucesses besides just the scale. Those NSV (non scale victories) as they call it. Stronger heart, more flexibility, tighter muscles, looser feeling clothes, 10,000 steps each day.

Good point. Make small goals under the banner of your main goal and celebrate those as well. Having many small successes helps keep you going on your way to the big success.

lawtechie wrote: »

I do disagree with another poster that exercise isn't needed. I think you should incorporate exercise because it will make you healthy, and for me that's what this is all about. Getting healthy, not just losing weight.

My point was exercise isn't necessary for weight loss itself. That's how I lost mine. But I do agree exercise is good for a lot of other things to keep one healthy. It's just that, for me, starting diet changes and exercise together was enough to make me burn out and stop trying every time. Starting with just diet changes and starting slowly ended up being what I needed to do because it was small changes, and that helped me keep going. Because I didn't feel compelled to add exercise, I was able to focus on eating habits and get that under control. I've added walking since then, but it's more to get my heart into better shape and try and get my asthma under control. I still control my weight loss by controlling my calorie input.

gettingtomygoal83

I go through the same thing, So I'm back on track just started yesterday and I would love to have u add me as ur friend on here we can motivate each other and anyone else on this thread can add me wishing u all the best on ur journey

curves2j

I feel you. I am right there with you. I have been back on track since Labor Day. I started slowly with just my calories for two weeks. Then on 9/21 I started walking 3 times a week. This Monday 9/28 I started Focus T25 Week 1. I think having a friend to help keep you motivated helps. But try setting yourself a reachable goal. Mine was to exercise. Once I felt comfortable- I dove into the T25 thing. Push yourself but still do you. Hope that makes sense.

Syneea

I would also like to add (for anyone feeling what the OP stated) that it may be beneficial to look within yourself and ask why you are starting and stopping...once you acknowledge why, then you can move forward from there...If you feel bored or tired from working out..then you can switch up the routine..if you are just unable to commit to exercising right now then you may want to focus on your eating and come back to exercise eventually..if you feel deprived food wise, then have at it with what you want! Just keep it within your caloric range on Most days..If you need more external motivation..maybe partnering up with a coworker, acquaintance or heck someone off here, may be the push that you need to stay the course....Some people find that it isn't the desire for constant food causing them to quit, it is there own internal struggle for whatever reason eg. work stress, family concerns etc that pushes them to seek "comfort" with food..once they find resolve those concerns then they can focus! Hopefully you find a system that works for you!!

Patttience

socioseguro wrote: »

I consider eating "out" of my nutrition plan as having a flat tire.
I repaired it and move on
I do not get out of the car, slash the other 3 tires and abandon the car
Life happens. Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and go back to your nutrition plan
This is a lifestyle change, not a "diet"
Good luck with your healthy journey

Wonderful analogy