absolutely no motivation

messiahs

Once again, I've landed myself in the pit.

The pit of food. With cakes and chips and fries and brownies and lollipops and over-sized portions. I've cycled my tricycle of shame around the edges and I've fallen in again and can't seem to get out. I lose the desire to stop wallowing in it the second even a little bit of work gets to me.

Okay, in literal terms now: I got a job for the first time in my life, and I'm struggling to balance work, school, and health. I just can't find it in me to give a damn when my hips ache and my feet are stinging after running around at work all weekend. Then I spend the other five days of my week at school. It's so, so easy to just grab comfort food when I'm tired, hungry (oh my god, the hunger! my appetite is wild and uncontrolled, and I just want more and more and more. I'm sure if I lived alone I'd have gained back all my weight by now) especially when the cafeteria sells such good brownies and they're so cheap...

I find that I don't care about much as of late - I'm not slacking when it comes to health alone. I don't care about my average grade anymore. I don't care if my room is a mess, or if I'm late to lectures. I don't care if I regularly update my social media or keep up regular conversations with my friends, I just... don't care about anything right now in life. I'm fine floating along. The only thing I really care about is making sure I keep racking up the money in my bank account, but if I were to be fired, I'm sure I'd just shrug and move on and be happy to sleep in on the weekends again.

This is a legitimate issue, and I'm not sure who to bring it to anymore. I have to wonder if it's serious enough to bring it to a doctor, because I can't focus on a single subject, even when I'm trying to enjoy myself and just browse reddit or youtube or something menial. I feel accomplished when I finish watching a movie in one sitting.

Sorry for the rant - and thanks, for whatever advice you can give me. I'm not 100% sure if this is appropriate to post here, so I'm sorry if I've gotten too personal.

sybillabryson

It's really hard or maybe impossible for me lose weight when im depressed. I've been depressed a large percentage of my adult life and when I read your post it sounded familiar. I would consider seeing a doc. Therapy isn't for everyone but sometimes just hearing someone tell you that it's not your fault and your brain has gone a bit wacky is enough to set you back on your way to being healthy again. I did see a therapist and I read some books about mental health but what got me back to normal finally was forcing myself to do things I enjoyed everyday and to take care of myself tenderly everyday even though I hated every minute or at best felt apathetic about it. I faked it and then I just started feeling better. I don't know where you are mentally but I thought id share my experience anyway.

Alasha321

Take this post to your doctor, have him/her read it. Apathy, stress eating, increased need for sleep are all signs of clinical depression. This is something that your doctor should be aware of. Not only is your mental health important for quality of life, but it can have serious health implications as well. Not only can depression damage your health, it can be a sign that something else is wrong physically. Diabetes, thyroid issues, hormone imbalance and malnutrition are just a few of the treatable physical problems that can cause depression.

On a more personal note, you are not alone. I can't think of a single person I know who has not at some point been through this, including myself. It's important to understand that when your life starts to be affected as yours is, that the bravest thing is to get help.

GETU1N

Log, Log,Log! All day every damn day!! I log everything even if I have a beer! It kind of keeps you honest.

Aani15

It is hard to diagnose someone over the internet even for a qualified doctor.
Seeking help early is the best thing to do if you do not want life spiralling out of control.
I am not sure you would care to read a book that I am reading at the moment.
It is 'The happiness trap', by Russ Harris. (http://www.thehappinesstrap.com/)

Motivation is not that somewhat happens itself, sometimes a sincere effort to take that first step, can actually start the recovery process. I hope you will get better with your determination and a bit of support of others.