Self sabotage

bttrthanevr

It seems the more compliments I get or the more concrete successes I have, the more likely I am to screw this up. I recognize in myself a tendency to self sabotage. Sometimes it seems that the more compliments I get, or the further the needle on the scale drops back, the more I want to get whatever food I can get my hands on and shovel it in to fill myself up. I have (mostly) been successful at talking myself down from the ledge, making myself proceed slowly. Open the refrigerator and look in, look in the cupboard, but think about each thing I might reach for...Is it really what I want? Or do I want to continue down this path to a better, fitter me?

Where does this urge come from? Why am I against myself???

Kimmyalex

I know how you feel. I've started going to the gym and upping my calories to try and be more healthy but I've started gaining a bit of weight so instead of re-evaluating or asking for help I start shovelling whatever I can find into my mouth and if I have nothing (to try and stop me doing this) I drive to the shop! I just can't stop!

Toomanytwinkies

I've been having the exact same problem. It was never like this before. The needle will go down, then I gorge on whatever I can find. I think I'm going to weigh myself only once a week instead of every day. I'm thinking that way, I will only have one day to resist temptation, instead of every day I see the needle go down. Hope it helps

Inshape13

I think that part of it for me is that I feel this pressure to maintain being thin because people have told me what a great job/inspiration I am and I really don't want to turn around and be a big failure by not making perfect choices all the time. It was a lot easier to be fat with no one caring about the choices that I made than to be thin and feel pressure to live up to the success that I have attained. You will get there and it will get easier with time....it is just something to get used to. Best wishes!

howardheilweil

I can't see your diary, but I can't help wondering if you are eating enough. How many calories are you netting?

mccluskeybl

Are you looking for something to fill your time?

bttrthanevr

I wonder if my net calories are too low...I am netting less than 1300 most days. Maybe my body can't handle it and that is sparking the urge to binge? But the more likely answer is that I have a lot of anxiety right now about my career/life as it is vs. life as I would like it to be. Food is my first comfort, second is shopping. I "medicate" with those two things. I know that's a huge part of why my days have been bad lately. I must regain control and not slip back into my old habits. I also need to refocus and find something else to sooth my feelings. A positive activity. Running is that for me...but I can't run every day, my body can't handle that yet. I need other healthy redirection for nervous/anxious energy/feelings.

jaymiecaitlyn

Hi, I just want to tell you that you are not alone, I am experiencing a similar thing. People started telling me how good I was looking and saying how healthy I was being and that was it! I've struggled to control what I've been eating ever since, and like you I realised that I too self medicate with shopping and food (unfortunately expensive habits!). I've read that by increasing the protein in your diet can help with the food cravings so I have been trying that the past few days with some success and I have managed to cut the binging down from eating anything and everything to just binging on one particular food item. Which is better but not the solution. I have found though that by binging on just that one particular item I am able to stop myself a lot sooner than I was when I was eating anything and everything.
I'll keep reading your posts, hopefully someone has some advice to help us both!!

bttrthanevr

Doing better mentally today (still over on my calorie intake). The protein tip is a good one...I realized that I have been overly carb-y lately. Protein satisfies me, carbs make me want more carbs.

I had a good long run last night too. That certainly helps! :-)

mccluskeybl

Invite company to come stay with you this summer. That is what I did and I've been cleaning like crazy! It keeps me busy and makes me feel so great to see my house getting organized!