Losing weight after an eating disorder - support needed

epicrockstar24

So I spent my teenage years and into my 20’s battling one eating disorder or another. I hit my lowest 2 years ago and admittedly was very very sick, physically and mentally. I managed to recover on my own, though the thoughts were still there, i was able to gain weight until I was healthy. The problem is that I wasn’t able to stop gaining, though i tried, the medication i was taking made it really hard to lose weight, so in those two years i gained 80lbs, going from emaciated to overweight. having an overweight body was hell on someone who already has issues with body image and food. I need to lose weight to be healthy, but I’d also like to lose a bit more than what is needed for vanity, but still maintaining a healthy body weight. I’m afraid that losing weight again will awaken tohe beast inside me, and that even once i reach my final goal it will not be enough and I’ll continue to lose until I’m sick again. So I could really use some support in losing the weight, but also support to help me maintain it and be healthy once I get there.

babyangelica2010

I've had an eating disorder for 2 1/2 years, I binge. I've tried to purge once but I couldn't actually do it, and the dangers of purging has kept me from trying it again. I have thoughts of starving myself and unhealthy diets all the time because I am tired of being fat. I've been the fat one all my life.
I have a 3 year old daughter so I really want to be healthy for her, to be around for her and to set a good example so she grows up to be healthy.
If you're interested in being friends and supporting each other just send me a friend request

Graelwyn75

Your best bet is to focus on healthy eating and acquiring a healthy, lean physique, rather than focussing on the number on the scale and weight loss. If you focus on eating well and keeping active, the weight will fall into place, and you may well find you end up being more interested in getting some muscle and a lower bodyfat % than scale number.

Cobwellac

Your best bet is to focus on healthy eating and acquiring a healthy, lean physique, rather than focussing on the number on the scale and weight loss. If you focus on eating well and keeping active, the weight will fall into place, and you may well find you end up being more interested in getting some muscle and a lower bodyfat % than scale number.

Listen to this advice, OP, it's sound.

PetiteLittleFlower

I was in your situation 3 years ago, the thoughts will always be there to eat less but what I keep telling myself is if I eat less I putting my health at risk and it will NOT help me loose weight and keep it off. I have got to a comfortable weight now and still make sure i have the odd treat so I don't fall bk into my old ways. It's hard but feeling healthy feels so much better than feeling weak and hungry

melrunnerbean

I've been in that situation too and I'm now a healthy weight but i've put on a bit more weight than i wanted to after had major back surgery.

I've not been able to exercise as much as i used to and ive been eating way more than i need to so hence the weight gain.

A few years ago i was near anorexic and then bullimic. I was underweight and felt weak and tired all the time.

What made me change my attitude to weight loss was when i decided to exercise and focus on exercising and eating well. It was then that i managed to put on the weight without stressing about it as i kept justifying the fact that i need to eat to fuel my workouts.

Now I'm looking to do the same once my back heals. I'm stlll exercising but i can't do all the strenuous workouts that i used to be able to do previously... i was running races and having the energy to keep getting faster and faster encouraged me to eat more to give me the fuel i needed to perform well...

My next focus is building a strong core so that i don't injure my back again and the benefit of having rock hard abs is deco a bonus. I'm 5 ft 5 and weigh 126lbs but i'd like to get down to 122lbs.

Like the other ladies said i would focus on healthy eating and fuelling your body with good food whilst treating yourself now and then esp if your exercising.

I eat treats daily but i don't feel bad as i know i try and stay active and eat healthy all other times like today i had a chocolate cupcake with peanut butter buttercream and i don't feel the slightest bit of guilt as its still within my calorie count. I cycled for nearly an hour and walked for a couple of hours too.

I tend to not do things in moderation so it can be hard but i see exercise as my way of feeling good about myself...

I'm sure that once you reach the point where its easy to maintain your weight even if you have treats then youve reached your happy weight. I just want to get down to what i was before the surgery as being stuck in bed has meant piling on several pounds but i have no intention of going lower as its a balls ache to maintain and i love my food!

emmamc252

am messaging you now. been there done that bought the t-shirt.
Can definitely help you through this!

mkuklane

I've battled body image issues my entire life. At my lowest point when I was 18 I developed bulimia after my first love broke up with me and married someone else. I was so devastated by the loss that I somehow turned that sadness into an obsession with my physical appearance. I thought that if I could just have that "perfect body" that everything in my life would be all right again.

But with every struggle, every bad experience, my disorder grew. Emetics, diuretics, laxatives, compulsive exercising, I did it all for years. I would actually base my self-worth on what the scale said every single day. I actually once told myself that if I were to gain back a certain amount of weight that I would take my own life. That was over 20 pounds ago.

With therapy and support, I've abandoned most of my old habits. But to this day, I still struggle with certain things. For example, I still base my mood on what the scale says. If I see that I've so much as gone up a pound on the scale, I'll immediately feel the need to purge somehow, anyhow.

I want to be healthy. But my appearance also matters to me. I want to be lean and fit but do it in a healthy way. I'm 5'11", I'm a tall girl lol and I'm currently 213. The thing is I don't look like I'm 213. People will tell me I look 30 pounds less than that. But then again, the scale says differently. At my absolute lowest weight I was 145, but looked like I was 120. I want to be a healthy 175. My trainer and I have been working on getting me to stop looking at the scale, and I definately feel like I've gotten better at this, but I still struggle. Is anyone else like this I wonder? Any replies would be appreciated.

00sarah

You're more than the vessel that carries you

Helenca76

Have been in exactly the same situation as you are in now. From weighing 96lbs at my lowest weight to 210 to my heaviest.
I suffered with anorexia and bulimia for a number of years and battled with the way I looked.
When I got pregnant, friends, family and doctors put the fear of god into me telling me I would harm my baby if I didn't eat. So I ate and ate and ate.....and quite frankly, didn't know how to stop.
I managed to lose weight after my son was born and again after my daughter was born and was a healthy 140lbs which I was able to maintain.
Ill health 6 years ago put me up to the 210 mark which in turn made me depressed but it's only now I feel I am able to start focusing on doing something about it.
I am now on my journey to lose the weight. The feeling I have to stop myself from eating is over whelming I think I may always have this urge to want to stop eating but I remember the way it made me feel, tired, snappy, ill and damn miserable and I don't want to feel like that again.
I have started the 5:2 diet (which is not for everyone) so that 2 days a week I get to fast and feel in control of what I eat. I calorie count on non-fast days and strive to stay under my given target and exercise 2-3 times a week which gives me a kick when I see how many calories I've burnt off. I control what I eat so rigidly and treat myself every week.
This sense of control is working for me to be able to lose the weight sensibly and in a healthy way. I am currently 183lbs and on my way to my target.

You are obviously at a point where you know you want to do something about your weight and are serious about it and know that you need to do this sensibly. I am sure you don't want to feel the way you did when you were not eating.
Message me if you like and I am happy to be added as a friend. There are so many of us on here to offer you the support and motivation and advice you may need.

amonkey794

Hi. I am recovering from an eating disorder as well. It is a long hard road and I am BEYOND thankful for the friends I made on this site. They are such a support. I am working hard at fueling my body appropriately for my activity level and goals. You may add me if you like. :flowerforyou:

anaschke

Good to hear someone out there has had luck losing weight after the eating disorder. I stopped purging in Sept. '13 after 10 years of bulimia. I have since gained 10 lbs and I feel terrible. I was already 5lbs or so heavier than my goal and now I feel like 15lbs is way too much to handle. But I see now it can be done.

Thanks for the post :-)

peacewithin

I had an eating disorder since I was 8 up until recently. I get it. I wont' say numbers because I was quite ill - dying really... anyway, I'm trying to eat healthier and start back to the gym. Weights help the bones if you have osteopenia or osteoporosis like I do. Feel free to add me. I also help run a recovery site - if you're interested you can messenger me.

saraheubanks06

Hello Ladies! After losing weight for a year, last year I hit a low. Admittedly, I was eating very few calories and taking herbal cleanse pills for months on end. I've stopped this pills (one month without one!) and I've been eating more since September. I have my TOM again, so my body seems to be working properly again. My doctor said I only needed to gain 5 pounds, but now I am up 10 and I can't seem to lose that five extra. I eat clean, workout 5-6 times per week, but I can't lose anything, even though I'm way under my recommended calorie goals. Has this happened to anyone and if so, what worked for you. I really don't want to fall back in to unhealthy habits, but the frustration is getting to me. Any tips would be great!

millej30

I have struggled with unhealthy relationships with my body and food literally as long as I can remember. At my worst point I was hospitalized in the ICU for a week, and a few years later I ended up at an inpatient crisis treatment facility. I know that I will always have the thoughts and temptations I used to struggle with.

I gained what I used to weigh, so I am literally twice the size I was. In an attempt to "start over" and try to be a healthier and stronger version of myself I am deliberately doing all the things I used to be mortified about. I talk about my weight and my diet changes with friends and family. I share my past struggles. When that voice comes into my head again, I acknowledge it; heck sometimes I even indulge her for a few minutes. But then I remind myself that I am stronger than that voice and it takes more strength and control to get HEALTHY as opposed to getting THIN.

I also plan to see a therapist again as soon as I can to help me work through this difficult part I the journey. Don't be afraid to mention your condition to gym staff and ask if anyone has any training to help you or let them know what could help you. ASK FOR HELP - just like you're doing here.

You got this!

PJPrimrose

I really, really recommend you look into a support group! There are 12 step programs for being underweight and overweight. You can do it online or find a meeting. Eating disorders are deadly! I've had an obese friend AND an anorexic friend get help through 12 step and move forward to a normal life with recovery. I wish you the very best!