Ever lose a friend over your weight loss?

PonyTailedLoser
PonyTailedLoser Posts: 315 Member
edited 12:27AM in Health and Weight Loss
Just wondering how common this actually is.
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Replies

  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • cityruss
    cityruss Posts: 2,493 Member
    Nope.
  • goldthistime
    goldthistime Posts: 3,213 Member
    Sad to hear this. None in my case, even though I suspect there were times when I was a little smug, and maybe even a little vain. They hung in there.
  • queenliz99
    queenliz99 Posts: 15,317 Member
    Friends love you no matter what!! My friends are my friends for a reason.
  • Unknown
    Unknown
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  • siluridae
    siluridae Posts: 188 Member
    Don't have friends in the first place and save yourself trouble! : D
  • MoiAussi93
    MoiAussi93 Posts: 1,948 Member
    If you lost friends because of weight loss, then you didn't actually have real friends to begin with. Consider yourself lucky that those people are no longer in your life.
  • MarcyKirkton
    MarcyKirkton Posts: 507 Member
    Makes sense to me, really. If people have friends who share mostly one thing......eating out alot....then diet can cut into the fun for others.

  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    Nope.
  • booksandchocolate12
    booksandchocolate12 Posts: 1,741 Member
    MarcyKirkton wrote: »
    Makes sense to me, really. If people have friends who share mostly one thing......eating out alot....then diet can cut into the fun for others.

    But who lets it "cut into the fun"?

    If the OP goes out with her friends and chooses not to overeat, that doesn't mean her friends can't do so. Unless the OP is getting on a soapbox about how her friends are making unhealthy choices and is making them feel guilty for eating nachos and mozzarella sticks, yes, that does put a damper on things.

    But if she is simply choosing to eat less than what she used to eat, quietly, without a big, "Look at me, I'm eating half of what I used to" and they are somehow taking offense to that, that's their problem.

    To answer the OP's original question: no, I have never lost a friend over my weight loss. Because I tend to choose as friends people who aren't self-absorbed, whiny babies.

  • yesimpson
    yesimpson Posts: 1,372 Member
    Not me either.
  • lauracups
    lauracups Posts: 533 Member
    This time around getting slimmer, no, but I'm 46. When I was in my 20s and I got fit, yes, it put a HUGE strain on a friendship. I believe in most cases as we age our priorities and our relationships mature. If a relationship ends because of something positive you are doing for yourself then don't look back.
  • NikkiBiggestFan
    NikkiBiggestFan Posts: 25 Member
    I haven't lost a friendship but I'm confused about one. A friend of 7 years (my only friend to be honest) has started making snide comments. For example, I did a 4 mile walk and was pretty proud of myself for it. I only mentioned it to her after we we're discussing how great the weather in Florida has been lately. Her response...oh that's nothing. I probably walk more than that daily. Mind you she's way bigger than me. The smart comments are confusing to me because I don't know why she's acting this way. I suspect if she doesn't stop I may have to put a little distance between us. Which I don't want to do.
  • debsdoingthis
    debsdoingthis Posts: 454 Member
    NikkiBiggestFan wrote: »
    I haven't lost a friendship but I'm confused about one. A friend of 7 years (my only friend to be honest) has started making snide comments. For example, I did a 4 mile walk and was pretty proud of myself for it. I only mentioned it to her after we we're discussing how great the weather in Florida has been lately. Her response...oh that's nothing. I probably walk more than that daily. Mind you she's way bigger than me. The smart comments are confusing to me because I don't know why she's acting this way. I suspect if she doesn't stop I may have to put a little distance between us. Which I don't want to do.
    Invite her to go walking with you. Might be she's just feeling left out.

  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    NikkiBiggestFan wrote: »
    I haven't lost a friendship but I'm confused about one. A friend of 7 years (my only friend to be honest) has started making snide comments. For example, I did a 4 mile walk and was pretty proud of myself for it. I only mentioned it to her after we we're discussing how great the weather in Florida has been lately. Her response...oh that's nothing. I probably walk more than that daily. Mind you she's way bigger than me. The smart comments are confusing to me because I don't know why she's acting this way. I suspect if she doesn't stop I may have to put a little distance between us. Which I don't want to do.

    This is common, unfortunately. Please don't let this get to you @NikkiBiggestFan . Your friend is likely feeling bad about herself and is probably a bit jealous of your recent success . just keep up the good work ! 4 miles is great!!
  • PinkPixiexox
    PinkPixiexox Posts: 4,142 Member
    Interesting question.

    I've come close to losing my boyfriend over weight loss - not a friend. The reason being there was a time where I became totally, utterly, unhealthily obsessed with what the scales told me which resulted in me practically giving up any form of social life so I could plan my calories easier. It was awful - and totally my fault. Luckily, he's a good man and we worked through it. I also totally changed my mind-set which was good..!
  • mccindy72
    mccindy72 Posts: 7,001 Member
    There are two sides to every situation. Divisions in friendship over something like weight loss can be very sensitive - take a step back when a disagreement comes up and see what the problem is before a friend is lost. Is the problem solely because the friend has shown some resentment over your weight loss? Or have you changed some of your behavior? Often there are issues on both sides. Sometimes the friend might be jealous or resentful, but then again, it might be because he or she feels that you (the general you who is losing the weight) is bringing up the weight loss in a celebratory way that seems to be 'putting it in everyone's face'. Sometimes just bringing the subject up in a nonconfrontational way and discussing it can air things out and make things better, saving a friendship.
  • angelexperiment
    angelexperiment Posts: 1,917 Member
    NikkiBiggestFan wrote: »
    I haven't lost a friendship but I'm confused about one. A friend of 7 years (my only friend to be honest) has started making snide comments. For example, I did a 4 mile walk and was pretty proud of myself for it. I only mentioned it to her after we we're discussing how great the weather in Florida has been lately. Her response...oh that's nothing. I probably walk more than that daily. Mind you she's way bigger than me. The smart comments are confusing to me because I don't know why she's acting this way. I suspect if she doesn't stop I may have to put a little distance between us. Which I don't want to do.
    She is jealous obviously. Ive seen it before. Well I can do better than you thing. Maybe though invite her to walk with you and see what happens. People get weird when they think you will change as you lose and leave them. Yoy will change that is inevitable bc you feel better and get confident. Try to reassure her you are atill the same friend.
  • ncboiler89
    ncboiler89 Posts: 2,408 Member
    I feel like the man boobs I had were friends.
  • Kalikel
    Kalikel Posts: 9,603 Member
    Yes. Lost a couple, gained a couple.

    The couple friends weren't just unsupportive, they were ridiculing my weight loss. The crazy obsessiveness of weighing - I get that, everyone jokes about that - me, too. But everything. The walking, the eating healthy, the routines, the new clothes. And God forbid I suggest an activity that wasn't all about sitting and eating. Instead of a movie and Olive Garden, how about Sea World? That did not go over well! Literal eye-rolling, lol. You can chow down at Sea World, but you're going to be walking. Plus, they're too fat to ride the roller coasters, so I'd have to skip those when I'd really rather ride them.

    We are just moving on. Even if they hadn't made their comments, it would've happened. We no longer enjoy the same things. People come and go. That's life. It happened faster because we had a talk about it and I admitted the weighing was crazy, but the rest is not and they needed to back off. So, they're off being fat and I'm here getting thin.

    I've gotten closer to other people because we now share interests. We can "hike" together. Though we can - and have - discussed healthy eating, we don't generally discuss the healthier lifestyle. We discuss relationships and the ridiculousness of electric bills in the summer and just regular stuff people discuss. But we share the same interests - being active and other things, too - so the friendships fit.

    Losing weight has had a profound effect on my life, one that I didn't even suspect I was in for. A little of that has been unpleasant, but by and large, it's all good. :)
  • cerise_noir
    cerise_noir Posts: 5,468 Member
    In the past, yes. These days, I have found such wonderful and supportive friends. Also, my husband is amazingly supportive, and I am glad he's in my life... He has encouraged me to keep going.
  • MarcyKirkton
    MarcyKirkton Posts: 507 Member
    People certainly dont have to be on a soap ox to lose a friend over a major lifestyle change!

  • Nanogg55
    Nanogg55 Posts: 275 Member
    NikkiBiggestFan wrote: »
    I haven't lost a friendship but I'm confused about one. A friend of 7 years (my only friend to be honest) has started making snide comments. For example, I did a 4 mile walk and was pretty proud of myself for it. I only mentioned it to her after we we're discussing how great the weather in Florida has been lately. Her response...oh that's nothing. I probably walk more than that daily. Mind you she's way bigger than me. The smart comments are confusing to me because I don't know why she's acting this way. I suspect if she doesn't stop I may have to put a little distance between us. Which I don't want to do.
    .

    Invite her to join you on your walks. If she tends to be defensive or sensitive about her weight don't imply that she needs exercise-just tell her you would enjoy the company. A fitness buddy can make exercise more enjoyable and help with motivation. If she declines and continues to be snide tell her how her comments are making you feel. If that doesn't help then you may have to put a little distance between you.

  • NikkiBiggestFan
    NikkiBiggestFan Posts: 25 Member
    Thanks everyone for the advice. Inviting her to walk with me may actually be a great idea.
  • Lounmoun
    Lounmoun Posts: 8,423 Member
    Not yet.
  • RodaRose
    RodaRose Posts: 9,562 Member
    Yes. Very sad. It is possible that were were heading into the non-friend direction anyway. The food hastened it.
  • Liftng4Lis
    Liftng4Lis Posts: 15,151 Member
    If they are no longer in your life, due to your diet, then good riddance to them. They weren't true friends.
  • daniwilford
    daniwilford Posts: 1,030 Member
    It might be saying something about the other person's insecurities more than anything you have done. If you are losing in a healthy fashion, focus more on supportive, positive people in your life.
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    Not over weight loss, but my (now ex) husband and I separated not long after I quit drinking.
  • zyxst
    zyxst Posts: 9,149 Member
    I'd have to have friends first.
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