I am at a stand still!!!!
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diannethegeek wrote: »I'm just about done with giving advice on these boards. OPs hardly ever come back. White knights call everyone rude for asking questions or giving "unsupportive" suggestions. The only people I hope to help anymore are the lurkers who might happen upon this thread with similar questions. Maybe they'll get some use out of it. Maybe they'll end up starting their own thread and the cycle will continue. It's the MFP way.
Don't do it Dianne - your general tips are worth their weight in gold!!!!!!
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amyrebeccah wrote: »diannethegeek wrote: »I'm just about done with giving advice on these boards. OPs hardly ever come back. White knights call everyone rude for asking questions or giving "unsupportive" suggestions. The only people I hope to help anymore are the lurkers who might happen upon this thread with similar questions. Maybe they'll get some use out of it. Maybe they'll end up starting their own thread and the cycle will continue. It's the MFP way.
I will say, even though I post a lot, I qualify as one of those lurkers who benefited from advice like this. I've started one thread in my life because i mostly read and learned about weight fluctuations, food scales, strength training, water retention, glycogen replenishment, safe and reasonable loss goals. All of that came from reading advice posted to other people. Like you, I do get tired of it not seeming to help sometimes, and I understand why you worked up a macro to paste in. Just wanted to help you feel a little less discouraged.
+1. There are way more lurkers who benefit from the veteran posters and their questions than there are "mean people" posters who think that anyone giving out free assistance needs to take even more of their own time to make sure their questions are surrounded by supportive and loving words, pats on the head, and hugs. So another thank you from a frequent lurker!
No one here was rude, they are just getting right to the point. Considering they are taking time out of their day to help a stranger, I don't see why that's a problem?0 -
melissarobson1988 wrote: »I need to lose 20 more pounds I just started and have only lost 5, I walk 10.000 steps every day but can't seem to make it to the gym because one I don't know what to do and two I am embarrassed. I eat less than 1200 calories a day. And it's all vegetables and a bit of protine. I just don't know what to do.
OP, sorry your thread got a little derailed there! With 20 lbs left, you should set your goal to lose 1 lb per week. Eat the calories MFP gives you - there is no reason to eat less, and you definitely shouldn't eat less than 1200 cals! If you don't have one, get a food scale and use it, it makes a huge difference for most people.
There is no reason to feel embarrassed at the gym, but you don't have to go to lose weight. Walking is a great everyday exercise for weight loss. I would bet your expectations are too high, and you are probably eating more than you think, so try using all the great advice you've gotten here and good luck!0 -
suziecue20 wrote: »diannethegeek wrote: »I'm just about done with giving advice on these boards. OPs hardly ever come back. White knights call everyone rude for asking questions or giving "unsupportive" suggestions. The only people I hope to help anymore are the lurkers who might happen upon this thread with similar questions. Maybe they'll get some use out of it. Maybe they'll end up starting their own thread and the cycle will continue. It's the MFP way.
Don't do it Dianne - your general tips are worth their weight in gold!!!!!!
Agreed!!!
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These are just standard questions so that others can help her. There was nothing rude about the questions and advice here.vickyb5277 wrote: »It was how the questions came across.
You haven't opened your diary, I need more info, you obviously aren't eating 1200 calories blah blah so she;'s a liar as well according to the replies. Give her a chance. Maybe the English way is more polite I don't know but I'm glad I don't need the support on here. maybe asking if she could give examples of what she eats/drinks in a day etc. Seriously guys come on!!
I would have been happy for that information back when I had no idea what I was doing. And yes, I would have provided my stats. A few months ago, I wasn't weighing my food, and the information given here was amazing. I quickly learned that I had many logging errors, so I started weighing absolutely everything, and you know what? I started losing weight. The "you may be eating more than you think" comment definitely was an eye opener.
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cerise_noir wrote: »
These are just standard questions so that others can help her. There was nothing rude about the questions and advice here.vickyb5277 wrote: »It was how the questions came across.
You haven't opened your diary, I need more info, you obviously aren't eating 1200 calories blah blah so she;'s a liar as well according to the replies. Give her a chance. Maybe the English way is more polite I don't know but I'm glad I don't need the support on here. maybe asking if she could give examples of what she eats/drinks in a day etc. Seriously guys come on!!
I would have been happy for that information back when I had no idea what I was doing. And yes, I would have provided my stats. A few months ago, I wasn't weighing my food, and the information given here was amazing. I quickly learned that I had many logging errors, so I started weighing absolutely everything, and you know what? I started losing weight. The "you may be eating more than you think" comment definitely was an eye opener.
I still remember the first time I put a sweet potato on my scale. MFP and I have very different idead about the size of "1 medium potato"! All of those things really add up, don't they?
I hit my plateau when the standard advice didn't include buying a food scale. It would be months before I finally got one and realized how many little logging issues I had. That's why I give the advice that I do. It's all stuff that I wish I'd heard at the beginning of my journey instead of the end.0 -
vickyb5277 wrote: »Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.
I TOTALLY AGREE. I am brand new here and this is the first post/blog I opened and I was like, gesshhhh ... go eat some carbs or something. Defensive until no get go. I understand that after 8000 post's you probably get tired of the same questions. But maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. I for example didn't have a clue what you are talking about. To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...but all she got was replies from people that obviously meant well but didn't come across like it. Then attacking the poster that mentioned it with comments like "maybe it's you?" NO IT'S NOT HER, I can attest to that! If you have nothing nice to say, just don't! There is my rant and now...Hi, I am new to the group. Where is the "like" button" LOL0 -
It took a bunch of lurking for me to realize the importance of a scale, too. I still lurk far more than I post and continue to learn. Right now, I'm stalking several threads on progressive lift programs and body recomposition, but I probably won't post in them until I have questions of my own.
Accurate logging (choosing database entries, logging habits, weighing, etc.) was one of the most important lessons I learned, and almost all of it was from lurking mean people posts.0 -
Hooray! The mean people posts are back.
Happy Friday!0 -
Maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. So she was asked to.vickyb5277 wrote: »Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.
I TOTALLY AGREE. I am brand new here and this is the first post/blog I opened and I was like, gesshhhh ... go eat some carbs or something. Defensive until no get go. I understand that after 8000 post's you probably get tired of the same questions. But maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. I for example didn't have a clue what you are talking about. To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...but all she got was replies from people that obviously meant well but didn't come across like it. Then attacking the poster that mentioned it with comments like "maybe it's you?" NO IT'S NOT HER, I can attest to that! If you have nothing nice to say, just don't! There is my rant and now...Hi, I am new to the group. Where is the "like" button" LOL
"i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with..." doesn't have anything to do with being at a standstill, which is why no one said something like that.
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vickyb5277 wrote: »Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.
I TOTALLY AGREE. I am brand new here and this is the first post/blog I opened and I was like, gesshhhh ... go eat some carbs or something. Defensive until no get go. I understand that after 8000 post's you probably get tired of the same questions. But maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. I for example didn't have a clue what you are talking about. To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...but all she got was replies from people that obviously meant well but didn't come across like it. Then attacking the poster that mentioned it with comments like "maybe it's you?" NO IT'S NOT HER, I can attest to that! If you have nothing nice to say, just don't! There is my rant and now...Hi, I am new to the group. Where is the "like" button" LOL
Why would we tell her things that wouldn't help her and that may not actually apply? The point of our posts (and what we pointed out to the other poster) is that the info provided in the OP was not enough to make any substantive recommendations.0 -
You might have reached your "set point", and will need to eat slightly less and exercise a little more. It has nothing to do with your lack of trying or anything like that, it's your body's natural defense against starving. Do more research on line and good luck!0
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vickyb5277 wrote: »Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.
I TOTALLY AGREE. I am brand new here and this is the first post/blog I opened and I was like, gesshhhh ... go eat some carbs or something. Defensive until no get go. I understand that after 8000 post's you probably get tired of the same questions. But maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. I for example didn't have a clue what you are talking about. To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...but all she got was replies from people that obviously meant well but didn't come across like it. Then attacking the poster that mentioned it with comments like "maybe it's you?" NO IT'S NOT HER, I can attest to that! If you have nothing nice to say, just don't! There is my rant and now...Hi, I am new to the group. Where is the "like" button" LOL
@acnbds88 and @vickyb5277 If you guys have actual advice on this, I'm all ears: http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10266543/how-can-we-give-more-effective-advice-on-the-forums0 -
No, that's not it. At all.KevinMcCluskey wrote: »You might have reached your "set point", and will need to eat slightly less and exercise a little more. It has nothing to do with your lack of trying or anything like that, it's your body's natural defense against starving. Do more research on line and good luck!
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KevinMcCluskey wrote: »You might have reached your "set point", and will need to eat slightly less and exercise a little more. It has nothing to do with your lack of trying or anything like that, it's your body's natural defense against starving. Do more research on line and good luck!
Actually, to be fair, all of this is based on myths that have been debunked by research. "Set point" is usually just normal fluctuation combined with some inaccuracy on logging or tracking that makes it seem like a plateau. "Natural defense against starving" doesn't kick in at this level -- it's really only a factor at much, much lower calorie levels.
The best post for advice that I can suggest is this one:
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10084670/it-is-unlikely-that-you-will-lose-weight-consistently-i-e-weight-loss-is-not-linear/p1
As for the other debate, let's all take a deep breath and stop finger-pointing. Yes, "tough love" and factual information can be really useful, especially for lurkers. And yes, for newbies, it can sometimes be jarring or off-putting to get very direct, clipped advice, especially when they're just figuring stuff out. Just because we've seen the same question a thousand times before doesn't mean that they know that. So let's all just try to assume everyone has good intentions and move on from there, mmmkay? 0 -
KevinMcCluskey wrote: »You might have reached your "set point", and will need to eat slightly less and exercise a little more. It has nothing to do with your lack of trying or anything like that, it's your body's natural defense against starving. Do more research on line and good luck!
I'm pretty sure set point theory has been widely debunked. TDEE changes as your body mass decreases, but I don't think a 5 pound loss, as described in OPs follow-up post, would be enough to cause a significant change.0 -
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Maybe save that speech for your kids. No smiley.As for the other debate, let's all take a deep breath and stop finger-pointing. Yes, "tough love" and factual information can be really useful, especially for lurkers. And yes, for newbies, it can sometimes be jarring or off-putting to get very direct, clipped advice, especially when they're just figuring stuff out. Just because we've seen the same question a thousand times before doesn't mean that they know that. So let's all just try to assume everyone has good intentions and move on from there, mmmkay?
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I can easy see both sides of this particular thing. Those of you who have been using the site for ages have answered the same questions over and over to new people. you are anxious to share your knowledge and it does often come across as abrupt and condescending. I doubt it usually is meant to be that way. It is great that you have all gleaned so much knowledge from your time on here and that you can be such a help to new people who are unsure and worried. We should toughen up our skin when we ask for advice and it is possible that those of you who do know so much could remember that you might have once been pretty confused and scared too.0
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starwhisperer6 wrote: »I can easy see both sides of this particular thing. Those of you who have been using the site for ages have answered the same questions over and over to new people. you are anxious to share your knowledge and it does often come across as abrupt and condescending. I doubt it usually is meant to be that way. It is great that you have all gleaned so much knowledge from your time on here and that you can be such a help to new people who are unsure and worried. We should toughen up our skin when we ask for advice and it is possible that those of you who do know so much could remember that you might have once been pretty confused and scared too.
Cosigned.0 -
@starwhisperer6 and @blessingsfromabove721 Could you guys bring your concerns to the thread I liked above so that we, maybe, derail this thread a little less and can maybe make some constructive strides towards giving better advice? I'm always trying to figure out how to make my posts better for new users here.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10266543/how-can-we-give-more-effective-advice-on-the-forums#latest0 -
vickyb5277 wrote: »Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.
I TOTALLY AGREE. I am brand new here and this is the first post/blog I opened and I was like, gesshhhh ... go eat some carbs or something. Defensive until no get go. I understand that after 8000 post's you probably get tired of the same questions. But maybe she didn't know how to open her stats. I for example didn't have a clue what you are talking about. To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...but all she got was replies from people that obviously meant well but didn't come across like it. Then attacking the poster that mentioned it with comments like "maybe it's you?" NO IT'S NOT HER, I can attest to that! If you have nothing nice to say, just don't! There is my rant and now...Hi, I am new to the group. Where is the "like" button" LOL
So your recommendation, rather than asking simple, straight, to the point questions to obtain more factual information from this poster, is to just start making recommendations with no background? Why would she need to change up her diet? Why would she need to restrict sugars? She may need to do both of those things, which is what opening her diary would demonstrate - but to just come in and start offering advice without more information, I don't see how that is meant to be supportive.
I would far rather get logical, fact based answers from people who have done their due diligence and asked appropriate questions about my situation than a bunch of mollycoddling and 'poor you, we've all been there, why don't you try XYZ' without knowing at all if XYZ will be relevant for me.
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vickyb5277 wrote: »Sorry guys but I am not surprised the OP didn't come back. I was just flicking through the boards & I never comment but wow you guys are really tough & I don't think supportive at all. I am at a standstill so was interested to see the responses but wow all she got was hassle. I thought us healthy eaters/dieters etc were supposed to support each other & stick together or maybe that's just me.
To me it looked like she wanted support i.e. if you are following a calorie diet, make sure that your calories don't come from mostly sugars, or change it up with...
So your solution to the issue is for people to lie to the OP? It doesn't matter if her calories come from sugar, "changing it up" doesn't actually DO anything. I see these types of responses on other weight loss communities. And they're the reason so many people keep spinning their wheels and getting nowhere. It's ridiculous that people here are constantly berated for giving out factual information instead of being warm and fuzzy. This forum has provided, by far, the most useful weight loss advice I have ever received.
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