Should kids get a trophy for just participating?
One of my clients brought this up this morning whose son plays in Little League Baseball. My personal opinion is no. Give them a party, or a baseball, but giving them a trophy for just participating might give a false sense of actual achievement.
In competition teams win and teams lose. We teach our kids to be good losers and that you can't always win. But doesn't handing out trophies at the end of a season conflict with this? Some kids don't care about the participation itself, just that they'll receive a trophy at the end of the season that they can display as an achievement.
Thoughts?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
In competition teams win and teams lose. We teach our kids to be good losers and that you can't always win. But doesn't handing out trophies at the end of a season conflict with this? Some kids don't care about the participation itself, just that they'll receive a trophy at the end of the season that they can display as an achievement.
Thoughts?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Replies
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I agree with you. We've raised a generation that has completely false expectations and doesn't understand the concept of working hard to win. A lot of parents buy into it, judging by the lawsuits and internet frenzy when "Princess" isn't good enough to make the cheerleading squad.0
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In my opinion, it should depend on the age of the child. Kindergartners playing pee-wee soccer? Give them a participation ribbon and a pizza party. Sixth-grade soccer? Pizza party and maybe awards like "Most Goals Kicked" or "Most Yards Run" - something measurable. But not a trophy or prize for solely being part of a team. By the time kids get to older elementary school/middle school, the Special Snowflake treatment should be gone.0
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If it's clear that the trophy was just for participation, why not? The kids put in time and effort in practices and games, learn to be contributors on a team, and often give it their all. No problem if they walk away with a little reminder of their time on the team. I think most kids know the difference between a participation award and a winner's trophy and most parents aren't out there trying to fool their kids into thinking they are all "winners". (Trophies for actually winning City leagues or better are generally much different anyway. For my kids' sports, they are large and engraved and shared by the team.)
My garage wall is full of finisher's medals for marathons and half marathons. I've only won a few things and have separate awards or plaques for those. My medals don't fool me into thinking I'm a winner, but they do inspire me at times and remind me of how far I've come and how much more I can do.0 -
depends on the age, and the goal. With some kids, just participating is a big accomplishment for them and that should be recognized, but with other kids it shouldn't.
I wouldn't go with trophies, but participation ribbons and a pizza party for everyone and trophies for kids who actually win.
participation trophies dont give kids a false sense of achievement, they dont actually benefit kids in any way and are just a waste.0 -
I have three boys who play recreational sports. The number of trophies we have collected over the years is insane. Soccer, baseball, basketball, tennis, swimming. Whether their teams or individual efforts came in first place or last, they got a trophy. Year after year. Season after season. Times three. Our home is being taken over by them. And of course the kids want each trophy displayed as if it's an Academy Award or Nobel Prize.0
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My Challenger Little League baseball league did this, in honor of the various disabilities represented within the group. For many of us, just running around the diamond was taxing! By doing this, everyone felt appreciated, including the many adults who ran the whole thing.0
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I am totally against it. I played sports growing up and I only got a Trophy for winning, not for actually putting the effort to play the game. The one time I got a "participation trophy" my mom threw mine away. They told her she was being mean, now I totally laugh about it. My niece got one and we took it away from her. You want a trophy win it, earn it. If you come in second fine, but then you know what you need to improve on for next season.0
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I say no. Kids need to learn what the real world is like. I see and know a lot of young people who think everything should just be handed to them. That hard work doesn't matter, just show up. Everyone is not special, the world is not full of pink fluffy bunnies with rainbows around every corner. Kids need to learn this. I work with a lot of people just starting out in the world and they think all they have to do is show up to work and get paid, that they should be allowed to come and go as they please and hard work doesn't matter. It's ridiculous.0
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I really don't think the kids care one way or the other. At least mine never did.0
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Excerpt on "Over praising" your kid.
http://www.parentingscience.com/effects-of-praise.htmlIt’s okay to praise kids for doing what they like to do. But be careful not to go overboard—particularly with older kids. When you praise kids every time they do something they enjoy, it might actually reduce their motivation (Henderlong and Lepper 2002).
For example, suppose that Adam loves to eat broccoli. But every time he eats broccoli, his mom praises him for it. Consciously or unconsciously, Adam starts to question his motivation. Is he eating broccoli only for the praise? Adam changes his attitude toward broccoli-eating. It’s a chore, not a pleasure. If the praise ends, Adam loses interest in eating broccoli.
Does this sort of thing really happen? It’s been well-documented in cases where people are given tangible rewards each time they perform a particular behavior (e.g., giving your child some money each time he eats broccoli). The feedback appears to re-set a person’s attitude (Lepper and Henderlong 2000).
There’s less research showing that social rewards—like praise—can produce the same effect. However, a recent brain study reveals that social rewards (like praise) and tangible rewards (like money) activate the same regions of the brain (Izuma et al 2008). And a food-tasting experiment performed on children found that praise, like tangible rewards, made kids like a food less (Birch et al 1984).
But the key point seems to be that praise must be given every time, so that kids expect to be praised for the behavior .
When praise is unexpected or spontaneous, it remains a powerful motivating force.
So this doesn’t mean we can’t—or shouldn’t—praise our children for good behavior or a job well done. But suggests we should be cautious about overriding our kids’ natural sources of motivation.
- See more at: http://www.parentingscience.com/effects-of-praise.html#sthash.CCeMIwdC.dpuf
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition 0 -
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I don't think they should get a trophy just for participating, but praise and encouragement can go a long way for a kid who normally wouldn't compete....0
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I don't disagree with praise and encouragement when it's not over done.JustMissTracy wrote: »I don't think they should get a trophy just for participating, but praise and encouragement can go a long way for a kid who normally wouldn't compete....
Part of the discussion I had with my client was singers who audition for shows like "American Idol" who've been told they have a great singing voice by their parents, friends, etc. then go on the show and are horrible. Do they really believe that they are good even after hearing a recording of themselves singing? Or does over praising them deafen their hearing or objectivity to knowing what's actually good singing?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Who needs another meaningless "thing" sitting around the house that needs dusting? Not me. Not to mention the pollution all this garbage makes.0
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I don't disagree with praise and encouragement when it's not over done.JustMissTracy wrote: »I don't think they should get a trophy just for participating, but praise and encouragement can go a long way for a kid who normally wouldn't compete....
Part of the discussion I had with my client was singers who audition for shows like "American Idol" who've been told they have a great singing voice by their parents, friends, etc. then go on the show and are horrible. Do they really believe that they are good even after hearing a recording of themselves singing? Or does over praising them deafen their hearing or objectivity to knowing what's actually good singing?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
I've thought the exact same thing!0 -
No. They end up being the whiny adults we see today... who want everything sunshine and rainbows.0
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No! Sprinkles are for winners0
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Don't give trophies and pizza party
everybody wins0 -
I won trophies as a kid for sports with the exception of a chess club trophy. The kids that didn't get a trophy were still part of the team! When we won we won together when we lost we lost together!!0
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Don't get me started on the number of seventh graders in my classes who think they deserve an A because they turn the work in and are reasonably well-behaved.0
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If it's clear that the trophy was just for participation, why not? The kids put in time and effort in practices and games, learn to be contributors on a team, and often give it their all. No problem if they walk away with a little reminder of their time on the team. I think most kids know the difference between a participation award and a winner's trophy and most parents aren't out there trying to fool their kids into thinking they are all "winners". (Trophies for actually winning City leagues or better are generally much different anyway. For my kids' sports, they are large and engraved and shared by the team.)
My garage wall is full of finisher's medals for marathons and half marathons. I've only won a few things and have separate awards or plaques for those. My medals don't fool me into thinking I'm a winner, but they do inspire me at times and remind me of how far I've come and how much more I can do.
I couldn't agree more with this...very well said. On this topic...honestly , who cares. Even the idea of parents discussing this topic seems helicopter to me, whether you think yes or no on getting a trophy. Good lord, let the kids be kids...move on with your own adult problems.0 -
I coach high level rep soccer. Boys under 16. The house league system for under 12 DID hand out stuff to all.
However we've recently moved away from that. We adopted the Brazil soccer model.
No trophies for u12 or below. Instead of calling it house league we call it them "developmental leagues". It's all about player development. No stats are kept. No volunteer parent coaches allowed. All certified licensed coaches. All parents know from the start that no ribbons or trophies are being handed out.
Eliminate the trophies and bragging rights early on and focusing on skill development puts the emphasis on learning the sport. At 13 if the child wants to continue we have stats and standings but still only the top 3 teams are rewarded.
Heck at the u16 level only the league winner gets anything (and the tournament winners of the tournaments we enter).
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If everyone is special, no one is special.
If the kids are putting in effort to win, but don't, that should be acknowledged, but not celebrated. There is winning, and losing in life, and setting children up to never fail, will only make their fall harder when it happens later in life. You gotta instill heart in children early, because it's definitely something that is more difficult to obtain in the future. Heart comes from determination to succeed. If everyone is succeeding, where is the desire to strive to be better?0 -
I just don't understand why more parents don't care about other peoples kids from around the globe. This article might be related to toys but it might as well be the worthless pieces of junk trophies. It's a shame. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2245066/Real-Toy-Story-The-Chinese-factory-workers-forced-sleep-factory-floors.html0
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People confuse effort with results all the time. Results don't lie. Now sometimes it's not always going to be the most kind approach, but it's not always going to be candy corn and rainbows. Part of a parents responsibility is to prep their kids for the world and not always let them think the world will always be accepting.I get a kick out of conversations on this topic.
When the subject of should kiddies get a prize just for showing up and should we tell them how great they are all the time to bolster their self esteem, everyone says NO DON'T DO IT! IT'S BAD! IT'S MAKING THEM SPOILED AND USELESS AS ADULTS! I NEVER DO IT! WE NEVER DO IT!
Yet it's evident this is being done, in one form or another, all the time. It's just that no one ever admits to doing it.
Same with discipline. Everyone claims to hand it out with a firm but loving hand in all the appropriate situations. It's just the other parents who fail to do it.
Sorry. I'm just a child free and objective observer here who sees it from a different viewpoint.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Because it doesn't directly affect them. Unfortunately it's not uncommon. People are concerned most with issues that affect their family and not others most of the time. You hear all the time that people want more schools, just as long as it's not built near their house. Or creating more jobs, yet they can't stand the construction of buildings for these new jobs when it impedes their commute. I always see a lot of symbolism over substance, and as I mentioned above, results reflect how people really feel.I just don't understand why more parents don't care about other peoples kids from around the globe. This article might be related to toys but it might as well be the worthless pieces of junk trophies. It's a shame. http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2245066/Real-Toy-Story-The-Chinese-factory-workers-forced-sleep-factory-floors.html
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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