Influence by spouse?

Nightfly01

my wife and I are both obese (I can't believe I said that about myself.). We have always loved to eat, eat out, and find comfort in food. I grew up eating well, but we are at home. I have gotten older but I wonder if I have gravitated towards being heavier because I could? She was heavier and I Was athletic. It is my fault for getting fat. I love her to death and she hates being fat. Somehow we need to help each other. As I type this I realize it has to be a whole family endeavor. I am a stay at home Dad and it is rare we sit down for a meal like I did growing up. The kids are busier than I was by far which does not help. I think writing here I am opening my eyes a bit

RoseTheWarrior

Welcome to MFP! I can very much relate to your post. I met my husband about 6 years ago. At the time, I was very fit, had lost 96 lbs, worked out all the time and ate very healthy ("clean eating"). But my new guy was opposite. I ended up taking on his diet and lifestyle, and lo and behold, I am now back to losing that weight AGAIN. I am not blaming him AT ALL. It was my choice, and I was "tired" of all the work, and his lifestyle seemed so much easier so instead of sticking with my way, I caved.

So, I finally realized, just over a month ago, that if things don't change, we are both going to die - me first, as I have a sedentary desk job, while hubby has a more active job. I just took charge, to be honest. I sat down on a Sunday and planned out an entire week of healthy dinners and lunches, and made the grocery list, and just said "we are doing this because we can't live like this any more". Well, hubby embraced the heck out of it. I mean, we've both had back pain and low energy, etc, so I think that spurred him on. But I think he just needed me to take control of it.

Anyway, since doing that, we've both lost 15 lbs!! We try new things. We spend time cooking together. It was so worth it, and I only wished I had done this sooner.

You're right. It is a family effort. But maybe you just need to take charge. It is more work to eat fresher and prepare sit down meals, but it's worth it. You owe it to yourself and your family! Now is the time to teach your kids about good eating habits, and doing so will benefit all of you. I just recommend for your wife that you don't frame this in a "we have to lose weight" light, but rather highlight the health reasons and teaching good habits to your kids. I wish you the best of luck!

Madwife2009

I think you'll find that your wife also takes it on board once YOU start. It will be a natural progression for her.

I just decided one day to start losing weight and my family were pretty well gobsmacked. It was a couple of weeks before I found MFP, during which time I'd lost 8lbs. By this point I was dragging my family out for walks and they saw that I was serious about getting myself fit and healthy. My husband had an operation (elective surgery) postponed in May because his BMI was too high but he did nothing about his weight until he realised that I was making changes to my lifestyle. My husband now thinks carefully about what he eats (and whereas before he would grab a cake/crisps because it was there, he now considers if he needs to eat it) and although he doesn't log his calories, he is also losing weight and is starting to take things seriously. He just needed a push in the right direction. So far I have lost 36lbs and he has lost 19lbs. My three oldest children have lost about a stone between them (I don't advocate weight loss in children per se but it's the result of daily 4-6 mile walks plus cycling and they did have a bit of excess baggage). They are all really supportive as well, my husband and my children. We do have family meals together but I am the only one at the moment weighing and logging my food - my meals tend to be heavy on vegetables and less so on meat and potatoes but I eat the same as them, just lesser amounts.

The results so far are fantastic. As a family we are getting regular exercise (and as it becomes easier we walk further) our level of fitness has improved, our eating is healthier and we are losing weight. The only problem I foresee is the expense of a new wardrobe for the entire family!

You just have to start making changes, that's all. The rest will follow.

Good luck!

Liftng4Lis

Welcome to MFP. Being a stay at home dad, I'm sure you have the influence on food choices. Start cooking, do it so you're in a deficit and you guys will lose. Lead by example.