not fitness, but gotta vent

StrongAndHealthyMommy

the only reason why I vent here is because none of my friends or family member know what is going on....

I cannot stand my husband anymore.... I feel like Ive been trying to save our marriage but due to him being so careless I got tired and I don't even have motivation to try to make it work...

could someone save me from killing him? LOL

TechAaronLoyd

Maybe a lawyer could help. Maybe it's time to split for a bit. Fixed my marriage.

DrFever100

I agree with @TechAaronLoyd see a lawyer and perhaps it's time to separate for a while because the kind of anger and resentment I sense in your post can lead to escalation of your emotions. If he's that careless then it's time to get away from him. Talk to a trusted family member. It helps to have a support system in place. It beats trying to do it alone. I mean family will know when you leave him anyways so best to have a support system in place now. In most cases when the flame burns out its hard to get it lit again.

TechAaronLoyd

DrFever100 wrote: »

I agree with @TechAaronLoyd see a lawyer and perhaps it's time to separate for a while because the kind of anger and resentment I sense in your post can lead to escalation of your emotions. If he's that careless then it's time to get away from him. Talk to a trusted family member. It helps to have a support system in place. It beats trying to do it alone. I mean family will know when you leave him anyways so best to have a support system in place now. In most cases when the flame burns out its hard to get it lit again.

Yes do this, or start watching Orange is the New Black...

ThatFatAsianNerd

Situations like these really scare me about marriage. It just seems like such a large chance of things getting ugly is such a large part of the entire marriage package. My parents hated each other and didn't talk to each other for years (over a decade!) and they lived in the same household. Granted, my dad was a real piece of dung but I don't get why people choose to stay or try to make it work (several times in many cases) when all it does is prolong the agony and postpone the inevitable. Plus the kids....

Marriage really, really scares the crap out of me.

StrongAndHealthyMommy

I didn't want to bring it up to the family or friends just having the hope it will workout... but at this point all of you guys are right...

ninerbuff

Marriage is tough sometimes. Many times insensitivity happens because SO isn't aware of what's being/not being said. And many times where we'd love to say something that may overstep, we bite our tongues due to possibility of regretting it later.
My advice: go to counseling first. If anything, you may found out what the real issue is. It may be something you're not aware of.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

StrongAndHealthyMommy

ninerbuff wrote: »

Marriage is tough sometimes. Many times insensitivity happens because SO isn't aware of what's being/not being said. And many times where we'd love to say something that may overstep, we bite our tongues due to possibility of regretting it later.
My advice: go to counseling first. If anything, you may found out what the real issue is. It may be something you're not aware of.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

we are doing it.... I see a progress the first 2 days... then his interest goes away again.... then I say.. ok ill let you be free and im leaving and he doesn't want to... then I ask what do you want? and he doesn't know and that's what the real issue is.. he doesn't know if he wants to be married, but he doesn't want me to move out of the house.... he has even told me to start dating if I want to.. weird awful situation

ninerbuff

StrongAndHealthyMommy wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

Marriage is tough sometimes. Many times insensitivity happens because SO isn't aware of what's being/not being said. And many times where we'd love to say something that may overstep, we bite our tongues due to possibility of regretting it later.
My advice: go to counseling first. If anything, you may found out what the real issue is. It may be something you're not aware of.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

we are doing it.... I see a progress the first 2 days... then his interest goes away again.... then I say.. ok ill let you be free and im leaving and he doesn't want to... then I ask what do you want? and he doesn't know and that's what the real issue is.. he doesn't know if he wants to be married, but he doesn't want me to move out of the house.... he has even told me to start dating if I want to.. weird awful situation

Well, some people don't want to be alone. Possibly if he had to leave even if he didn't want to be married anymore, he'd end up by himself and possibly won't end up with anyone else again. Happened to my younger brother. He's been single since divorce over 20 years now and has no girlfriend.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition