My struggle, & What I learned, re: BED

camsthebrave

Hi I just started posting on this board. I just wanted to share what I've learned about Binge Eating and dieting in general - I was going to make this a reply to the other thread but it's so detailed, and long I thought it might be lost in the shuffle - so here it is, edited, to tell about my journey with weight loss and BED. Also, as to whether someone obese can recover and become healthy again -

My questions are: Have you heard of Binge Eating Disorder? What are your thoughts? Do you stigmatize those who are obese or do you keep an open mind to how they got there?

I thought it might help to come from a 1st person perspective, to help dispel the stigma with information, facts / science, and a personal account. That is my hope at least.






I was a 50 lbs 2 year old, and was over 250+ lbs overweight when I joined - at 28 I'm in a wheelchair, partly due to obesity/diagnosed binge eating disorder - I know first hand about BED.

I never learned how to eat healthy until very recently.. I ate what I thought was a "normal" diet except here in the US, in reality - that's extremely over what a "normal" diet should be. I was brought up in the way you've described some places here -being taught - food was a reward, in replacement for self nurturing, and over the years I realized (and have been diagnosed several places) as having binge eating disorder.

I've lost some, since I've worked with registered dietitians for 2 years, but have a long ways to go to beat what seems like an addiction to food - particularly high carb, (salty usually) processed foods, like many with binge eating, )although some prefer sweet, sweet or salty is a known BED pattern)...

From what I've read in many articles, books, and in working with my Obesity/BED doctors across New York State, talking to them about brain plasticity among other things - it is possible to get thin, stay thin, and be healthy - even if you've suffered from Obesity and/or Binge Eating.

It's a behavior more than a metabolic change. Behaviors can be unlearned, habits replaced, & brains can be re-taught. If the person does a lot of work, in all aspects of their life, it is definite a possibility, almost probable, that they will lose weight, and yes, keep it off.

Is there a healthy "quick fix" or "loophole"? Is there an end to all the cravings? Probably not.

In Conservative definitions: 30% of the overweight population is estimated to have some spectrum of binge eating, according to doctors in the field of eating disorders... Not all, not most, but some do. Will say a binge eater never crave unhealthy foods at any time in his life? No the cravings will always be there, but they can be fought off with sufficient therapy, nutrition, and exercise... I believe those with no eating behavioral compulsions (aka BED) would do much better with weight loss because of the lack of strong cravings for an "abnormal" diet - which to that body at one point was it's own "normal" and the human metabolism craves what it is used to. The goal is to eventually get it "used to" a healthy diet.

I believe it is possible, maybe uncomfortable, but possible - to go from "fat" to "thin" and "stay thin" and "healthy". That is if you believe in yourself - having a positive attitude that behavioral change is possible and do-able... but you also have to do the work physically -

(& for those of us with BED - allowing ourselves to feel the uncomfortable cravings, and be able to go through them to "train" ourselves not to crave unhealthy foods eventually as much - For me, therapy, surrounding the "Why" I'm using food in this way has helped incredibly

- I learned personally, that my BED, was because I use food to self nurture when I didn't get that from my family members growing up or now. Also I found I use being obese as a "cover" to keep me safe from men and their sexual advances, being a former victim of sexual assault by several people. I also suffer from several metabolic diseases that slow down my metabolism. It's an old survival mechanism for me that is no longer serves a purpose - this has helped me let go of my compulsion - working with a registered dietitian, therapist, and psychologist, as well as tracking here).

I hope in the future society can de-stigmatize being overweight as just a "willpower" or "self discipline" problem. There are so many factors involved in most people's obesity not just "they eat a lot".
I see that mindset as very ignorant to the real "why"'s behind this problem plaguing so many in society today.... Science and the Medical Field has classified Obesity as a disease for years, and I really hope someday people's eyes are opened, past the stigma of "Fat" or "Thin" to see the person struggling inside.

That said, I hope that there is more research done into Obesity and BED and I hope those that suffer do do the hard work (in therapy perhaps, and hey, maybe tracking right here) and become healthy and do the *extra* work to stay healthy...




Thank you for reading my essay if you did. It's nice to meet all of you, I welcome people "friend"-ing me on both our journeys toward good health (whatever that may be for you, gaining or losing, a little or a lot, eating disorders or not).

vivmom2014

People CAN change. It sounds like you're working from a solid foundation of medical/psychological support, and I wish you well. Good for you to pursue healthy change!

kiela64

I agree with a lot of what you've said. While I know obesity is classified as a "disease" in its own right, it makes more sense for me to see it as a symptom.

I was overweight as a kid just because of eating a bit more than I should have, being short and small framed, but I never became obese until I started bingeing. I don't know exactly when it started, but I only became aware of it in the past 2 school years. For me, it came out of anxiety. I have always had high anxiety, but university brought a lot more pressure and a lot more opportunity to fail (or "fail" as in get low marks and need extensions due to paralysing anxiety, etc). I was also working at a level where my parents couldn't help me anymore, so I had to deal with the stress of assignments on my own. I was also a lot more isolated. I started to reward myself for a difficult day or getting a good grade by buying treats, but it soon turned into a comfort for a difficult day, and even became a punishment that I was consciously aware of but still did, and I would get more and more and eat in secret almost every day.

I don't think people become obese by accident. We don't just not know how to lose weight or eat less even if that's part of the problem. It's not "gluttony" or "laziness" or "stupidity" like some people term it. I think it's always at least partially from a mental or emotional maladaptive coping strategy. Either from events like bullying, abuse, neglect, trauma, grief or from disorders like anxiety and depression. In order to really recover we need to address these underlying issues.

kdblpn

I have just one thing to add...you mentioned food being given as a reward...my stepson is overweight and although i am trying to get him on the right nutritional path, his dad gives him junk every time i go to work but my real problem is when he is at school. He had 4 exams on Friday and thankfully he made an "A" on all of them. In each class he was given a bag of chips and a candy bar as a reward. So in addition to lunch he had 4 bags of chips and 4 candy bars in one day. I have emailed his teachers and asked them not to reward him with food. I hope it works even if he is mad at me.

kiela64

kdblpn wrote: »

I have just one thing to add...you mentioned food being given as a reward...my stepson is overweight and although i am trying to get him on the right nutritional path, his dad gives him junk every time i go to work but my real problem is when he is at school. He had 4 exams on Friday and thankfully he made an "A" on all of them. In each class he was given a bag of chips and a candy bar as a reward. So in addition to lunch he had 4 bags of chips and 4 candy bars in one day. I have emailed his teachers and asked them not to reward him with food. I hope it works even if he is mad at me.

That sounds excessive. Sometimes when I was in school teachers would give out a small, mini-sized chocolate bar or a mini box of smarties, like halloween sized. But nothing like a whole bag of chips or a regular sized candy bar. Something is deeply wrong with that system, and I think bringing it to the teachers' attention is important. They should have a toy or coupon-based system, like 5 A's means you get a teddy bear or a toy car or something. It's also a contentious issue because of allergies!

The issue I would see arising is if other kids are still rewarded like that when they get certain marks and he isn't, he may get teased or feel as though he's being punished. I know I felt that way as a kid simply because my lunches didn't contain treats while other kids' lunches did.

suzan06

I do think schools are getting more mindful of the food issues. Our school system adopted a new food policy a few years ago (mainly spearheaded by the parents- so speak up!). It says:

1. School parties can only have one treat, the rest of the food must be healthy.
2. Food cannot be used in the classroom unless it is specifically tied to the curriculum. <-- this is mostly in the elementary school, where they do things like a literature unit on gingerbread and go on a gingerbread hunt in Kindergarten and each have a gingerbread man to eat at the end. But there is no food rewards allowed in the classroom at any level.
3. No birthday treats. 25 kids in a class means way to many treats over the year. Kids can bring erasers, pencils, etc to share on their birthday if they wish instead. <-- you would have thought not bringing in birthday cupcakes was singlehandedly destroying childhood the way parents threw fits. Amazingly the world continued to turn!

ahoy_m8

It sounds like you have done a lot of hard work, both psychological and physical, OP, and made a lot of progress. Kudos to you for the good work and thank you for sharing your story. It was all really well said. I'm sure it will touch others in an encouraging way.

I recently read something related, and I may not get this story exactly right in all the details, but the essence of it shows you are far, far from alone. Many years ago, smart doctors at Kaiser were working on the big problem of improving patient health. First they looked at the most serious conditions they were treating the most often -- diabetes, hypertension, obesity, heart disease. Then they decided prevention would be more effective than treatment. To understand the behaviors they were trying to prevent, they conducted hundreds of interviews with patients. One unmistakable theme came out over and over -- adverse childhood experiences correlates to adult disease, even when controlling for coping behaviors that compromise health. The finding was so pervasive, the doctors came up with an "ACE" inventory that they gave to 20k+ patients and followed them for 20+ years. The ACE inventory categorizes adverse childhood experiences, e.g. verbal abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, substance abuse by parents, domestic violence, neglect, loss of caregivers due to death or incarceration and maybe other reasons, and I think it has questions to detect parent attachment/availability deficits. You get the idea. The correlation between ACE scores and adult disease is compelling. I'd provide stats except I just returned the book to the library this morning.

OP obviously is pretty knowledgeable about all this already, but my point was just to agree with her about this: Not everyone gets dealt the same cards. Some people get a really bad hand, so it is best not to judge.

saraonly9913

ahoy_m8 wrote: »

It sounds like you have done a lot of hard work, both psychological and physical, OP, and made a lot of progress. Kudos to you for the good work and thank you for sharing your story. It was all really well said. I'm sure it will touch others in an encouraging way.

I recently read something related, and I may not get this story exactly right in all the details, but the essence of it shows you are far, far from alone. Many years ago, smart doctors at Kaiser were working on the big problem of improving patient health. First they looked at the most serious conditions they were treating the most often -- diabetes, hypertension, obesity, heart disease. Then they decided prevention would be more effective than treatment. To understand the behaviors they were trying to prevent, they conducted hundreds of interviews with patients. One unmistakable theme came out over and over -- adverse childhood experiences correlates to adult disease, even when controlling for coping behaviors that compromise health. The finding was so pervasive, the doctors came up with an "ACE" inventory that they gave to 20k+ patients and followed them for 20+ years. The ACE inventory categorizes adverse childhood experiences, e.g. verbal abuse, physical abuse, sexual abuse, substance abuse by parents, neglect, loss of caregivers due to death or incarceration and maybe other reasons, and I think it has questions to detect parent attachment/availability deficits. You get the idea. The correlation between ACE scores and adult disease is compelling. I'd provide stats except I just returned the book to the library this morning.

OP obviously is pretty knowledgeable about all this already, but my point was just to agree with her about this: Not everyone gets dealt the same cards. Some people get a really bad hand, so it is best not to judge.

Really interesting.

beemerphile1

camsthebrave wrote: »

Hi I just started posting on this board. I just wanted to share what I've learned about Binge Eating and dieting in general - I was going to make this a reply to the other thread but it's so detailed, and long I thought it might be lost in the shuffle - so here it is, edited, to tell about my journey with weight loss and BED. Also, as to whether someone obese can recover and become healthy again -

My questions are: Have you heard of Binge Eating Disorder? What are your thoughts? Do you stigmatize those who are obese or do you keep an open mind to how they got there?

I thought it might help to come from a 1st person perspective, to help dispel the stigma with information, facts / science, and a personal account. That is my hope at least.






I was a 50 lbs 2 year old, and was over 250+ lbs overweight when I joined - at 28 I'm in a wheelchair, partly due to obesity/diagnosed binge eating disorder - I know first hand about BED.

I never learned how to eat healthy until very recently.. I ate what I thought was a "normal" diet except here in the US, in reality - that's extremely over what a "normal" diet should be. I was brought up in the way you've described some places here -being taught - food was a reward, in replacement for self nurturing, and over the years I realized (and have been diagnosed several places) as having binge eating disorder.

I've lost some, since I've worked with registered dietitians for 2 years, but have a long ways to go to beat what seems like an addiction to food - particularly high carb, (salty usually) processed foods, like many with binge eating, )although some prefer sweet, sweet or salty is a known BED pattern)...

From what I've read in many articles, books, and in working with my Obesity/BED doctors across New York State, talking to them about brain plasticity among other things - it is possible to get thin, stay thin, and be healthy - even if you've suffered from Obesity and/or Binge Eating.

It's a behavior more than a metabolic change. Behaviors can be unlearned, habits replaced, & brains can be re-taught. If the person does a lot of work, in all aspects of their life, it is definite a possibility, almost probable, that they will lose weight, and yes, keep it off.

Is there a healthy "quick fix" or "loophole"? Is there an end to all the cravings? Probably not.

In Conservative definitions: 30% of the overweight population is estimated to have some spectrum of binge eating, according to doctors in the field of eating disorders... Not all, not most, but some do. Will say a binge eater never crave unhealthy foods at any time in his life? No the cravings will always be there, but they can be fought off with sufficient therapy, nutrition, and exercise... I believe those with no eating behavioral compulsions (aka BED) would do much better with weight loss because of the lack of strong cravings for an "abnormal" diet - which to that body at one point was it's own "normal" and the human metabolism craves what it is used to. The goal is to eventually get it "used to" a healthy diet.

I believe it is possible, maybe uncomfortable, but possible - to go from "fat" to "thin" and "stay thin" and "healthy". That is if you believe in yourself - having a positive attitude that behavioral change is possible and do-able... but you also have to do the work physically -

(& for those of us with BED - allowing ourselves to feel the uncomfortable cravings, and be able to go through them to "train" ourselves not to crave unhealthy foods eventually as much - For me, therapy, surrounding the "Why" I'm using food in this way has helped incredibly

- I learned personally, that my BED, was because I use food to self nurture when I didn't get that from my family members growing up or now. Also I found I use being obese as a "cover" to keep me safe from men and their sexual advances, being a former victim of sexual assault by several people. I also suffer from several metabolic diseases that slow down my metabolism. It's an old survival mechanism for me that is no longer serves a purpose - this has helped me let go of my compulsion - working with a registered dietitian, therapist, and psychologist, as well as tracking here).

I hope in the future society can de-stigmatize being overweight as just a "willpower" or "self discipline" problem. There are so many factors involved in most people's obesity not just "they eat a lot".
I see that mindset as very ignorant to the real "why"'s behind this problem plaguing so many in society today.... Science and the Medical Field has classified Obesity as a disease for years, and I really hope someday people's eyes are opened, past the stigma of "Fat" or "Thin" to see the person struggling inside.

That said, I hope that there is more research done into Obesity and BED and I hope those that suffer do do the hard work (in therapy perhaps, and hey, maybe tracking right here) and become healthy and do the *extra* work to stay healthy...




Thank you for reading my essay if you did. It's nice to meet all of you, I welcome people "friend"-ing me on both our journeys toward good health (whatever that may be for you, gaining or losing, a little or a lot, eating disorders or not).

Thanks for your post.

tomteboda

There is one thing that makes controlling binge eating a LOT easier. Cook everything at home, and don't keep treats on hand. It is so much easier to practice willpower for 1 hour a week at the store (or whatever time you spend there) than 100% of the rest of the time.

Kalikel

^^ Agree with above. I 100% believe that weight loss begins in the grocery store.

camsthebrave wrote: »

Hi I just started posting on this board. I just wanted to share what I've learned about Binge Eating and dieting in general - I was going to make this a reply to the other thread but it's so detailed, and long I thought it might be lost in the shuffle - so here it is, edited, to tell about my journey with weight loss and BED. Also, as to whether someone obese can recover and become healthy again -

My questions are: Have you heard of Binge Eating Disorder? What are your thoughts? Do you stigmatize those who are obese or do you keep an open mind to how they got there?

Yes, I've heard of it.

Thoughts?

A lot of people think they have BED when they don't. Being obese and eating a lot does not mean one has BED. I'm not even convinced that all fat people have any sort of mental illness and certainly not BED in particular.

Stigmatize the obese? Me? No. There are many, many reasons that people become obese - mental, physical, medical and mixes of all. In my heart, I will always have a little bit of Fat Girl to me. Even though I'm no longer in the club (and don't get the friendly looks from fat people I once did - not as much, not the same) I will always consider myself an honorary member of the club. I'm very fat-friendly.

It was good of you to share your story. Someone else is going to connect and feel less alone.

Christine_72

I'll openly admit that I don't understand BED. I got overweight because I had no " self discipline or willpower". If I did have a binge day it was because I overly restricted myself for days prior.