Taking the Scenic Route--Need to find the Highway

fidgit813

Just as for everyone else, my weight gain didn’t happen overnight. I was lucky growing up—I was a swimmer until an injury took me out of the water as a senior in high school and put me in a back brace 23 hours a day for almost a year. With the sudden drop in activity, I didn’t realize I also needed to adjust my eating. I honestly don’t know when I started feeling fat—it was probably at my friend’s wedding back in 2008. Between my own wedding in June of that year, and her wedding in November I had gained almost 20 pounds. Since then I’ve been telling myself that I want to get back to my wedding weight (155 lbs.), but if I’m really telling the truth—I’m not sure that’s enough.

I've been struggling for a couple of years--I can remember collapsing on the floor my first year of marriage because I hated how I looked. I joined MFP about a year ago and have bounced up and down a couple of times. I'm committed this time, but I need help being held accountable. I need the community part of the equation to keep me coming back. My husband also uses the program, and we compare notes but it isn't enough. I need people who will get frustrated along with me and call me out when I'm being ridiculous. I realized yesterday that I'm down 16 pounds from my heaviest (which is an accomplishment)--but if I had started really working at this time last year, who knows how good I would be feeling now...and thoughts like that are what derail me.

So I'm pledging to be an open book--which will be a struggle for me, because I am a people pleaser--if anyone out there wants to come along for the ride, I'd appreciate the company.

I'm using the journal feature for the first time today--I've come up with a set of rules for myself and I'm terrified that if I don't make them public that I'll just ignore them. I'm also giving a little more insight into my methods and struggles. I'm open to any feedback and help from anyone who is listening .