My brothers are giving me a full-blown panic attack

funkyspunky871

Okay, so, I didn't know where to put this topic, but I figured chat would be good enough.

I wasn't going to post a topic either and just keep it between my MFP friends on my status, but I'm really freaked out.

My older brother has had two chicken parmesan sandwiches from dominos, 4 bags of doritos, and 2 slices of large sausage pizza. That's 2740 calories and 124 grams of fat in one meal. He NORMALLY eats like this but it's really just started hitting me in the past few weeks how big he is. I am so scared. I'm on the verge of tears, my hands are shaking, and my heart is pounding. I just keep watching him eat and eat and I can't look away. It's literally like a horror movie. Guys, I wish I was joking. I really do. I am so upset and I don't know why! I wish somebody would stop him.

And, then's there's my oldest brother who has just finished off an entire large pizza to himself.

I've never freaked out like this before. It's really is just starting to hit me. I might not have two of my brothers for much longer at this rate.

angel79202

Aww..can u tell him how worried you are without preaching? Maybe he can follow your example. How old is he?

funkyspunky871

He is 18. The other is 21 (And I am worried about him, but not as much as the other right now. He's very, very, very tall and so he's a bit closer to "overweight" instead of "obese on a BMI scale).

sabrinafaith

Where are your parents? Don't they care?

angel79202

Do you think you can talk to him and tell him you're worried..although with 18 and 21 year olds that can be hard. Maybe you can start sharing your healthy meals with them and show that eating right an still taste good..

funkyspunky871

Sure they care, but they won't stop him. They've been talking about getting him the lap band, and that scares the crap out of me too. I mean... Surgery?

funkyspunky871

Do you think you can talk to him and tell him you're worried..although with 18 and 21 year olds that can be hard. Maybe you can start sharing your healthy meals with them and show that eating right an still taste good..

I wouldn't dare talk to him about that, and I have tried sharing all of my healthy meals with everybody in my family. Only my dad is interested.... Sometimes. My parents say I'm welcome to cook healthy meals for them anytime, and maybe the others will eat it, but Brian (the 18 year old) won't probably touch it.


In fact, I'm making dinner tomorrow night. I would bet on my life that I'm the only one eating. (My parents will be at work)

rtrautmann

My brother and boyfriend have fairly bad eating habits (nothing as bad as that, though) but they counteract it with the fact that my brother is underweight and my boyfriend just doesn't gain weight ever. It's nerve wracking.
However, I watched my overweight mother eat 3 pieces of cake, and I can't really do much to stop her. She's been on weight watchers and nutrisystem, and she knows she's overweight, but she's in a stage of her life where she's going to just complain and continue on.

If you can try to sneak the bags away, or offer up something that tastes just as good, but maybe lower in calories, that would help. Making a choice like dominoes, while really tasty, totally blows up my day and makes me feel crappy afterwards. Maybe show them what they're eating with this website, and then they'll get the idea? Sometimes when you can see it, it makes it real.

GooBeGone

maybe u can appeal 2 their vanity? tell them that they're more apt 2 get more dates if they appear healthier? that might work. but the best is always by example. i do know that that takes the longest but that's usually the one that they see.

u have 2 keep in mind that men r visual. make sure u keep b4 & after photos of urself. in fact take pics of urself every 10-15lbs lost. & keep a progression & show them.

lead by example. it's both the easiest and HARDEST thing 2 do. i wish u luck. i'm tryin 2 do the same for my brother. he's 40yrs old, 5'8" & 285lbs last time i asked abt 4months ago (altho he HAS lost some weight & his wife is gainin 2 so i'm worried abt her atho she probably weighs 150 but she's 5'2 & small framed (she's a older than him)). i worry abt them both & i'm gonna lead by example. it's the best i can do b/c they live abt 5hrs away .

best of luck 2 u!! :flowerforyou:

p.s. u may wanna try 2 make ur own pizzas. more cost effective & u can make them 2 ur liking as well (& do a lower calorie version)

Beatrice1

I know how you feel. I too have a younger brother who is very over weight. He's learning disabled, he has health problems and really doesn't understand what he is doing to himself. He lives with our mom still, who I have also talked to, but I can't get her to change the food they buy and eat. It is extremly hard to watch. There really isn't anything that I can do about it, just pray. Pray that God will help them to understand and see what they are doing to themselves. I just wanted you to know that you are not alone, and I will keep you and your family in my thoughts.

kittytrix

Have you tried to ask them to go out on a healthy outing like hiking or playing football or catching a frisbee? Offer to makke a picnic and pack some healthy alternatives. They may like the food and enjoy themselves. Then you can offer to do it more often. You can also sneak in there that since you changed your habits you feel better being physical.

Just a thought.

I had a similat situation with my little bro and things changed when he started working at UPS. He dropped weigth and like someone else said here, began to attract the ladies' attention.

funkyspunky871

Thanks everybody for being so understanding. I think I just needed to get it off my chest.

And, kittytrix, my brother is pretty active for being probably over 400 pounds. He'll go outside and play basketball for hours. It's the food that's got him like this. But, I'll definitely take your suggestions.

I think I might just express my concerns to my parents and see if they'll talk to him for me. I really don't want to hurt his feelings...

liha0808

Are you parents healthy or is this part of the downfall for their children?
Do they hold down jobs and thats how they can eat out so much food or do your parents supply the money or the food?

Perhaps you can speak to your parents first. Sounds like they are at the age, that if they have been eating this way I would bet they are on cholesterol and blood pressure meds. Ask if they want that for you kids?

Have your bro's had physicals? That might open their eyes. Lap band doesn't work if they do not fix what they compulsion to food is they will get fat WITH a lap band on.

If non of the above works hun, you can't fix it. Just tell yourself you will get to your goals to set a NEW family tree example to your own kids, and to your family to watch. Maybe you will get the ball rolling the quicker you can set some goals!
Good LUCK!

GooBeGone

sorry but if u're brother is 400lbs unless he's over 8ft tall or michael phelps-ish then he's not pretty active. that really scares me. maybe he's afraid 2 try 2 lose weight b/c he's afraid of failing. (altho i think that puttin urself on a lifestyle change foodwise IS abt failure. b/c w/o failure how else do we know how successful we r?).

he should have a physical stat.

also, maybe u can do more things with the family that ISN'T centered around food, such as goin out somewhere like an earlier poster said. hikin & stuff.

i'll tell u 2 things that got my attention 2 lose weight:

1. i stepped on the scale 1 mornin & realized i was 2lbs away from bein 250lbs & told myself that no way in HECK i was gonna EVER b 250lbs b/c i'd have hyptension & diabetes & all that runs in my family... :brokenheart:

2. i went 2 an amusement park & was waitin in line 2 get on a particular ride. the guy in front of me was so big that they couldn't buckle the belt on him & he had 2 get off. in front of every1! i was so scared that would happen 2 me to. after i got on & rode the ride i vowed 2 myself to never have 2 go thru worrying abt if i can get on a ride again. :brokenheart:

i realized that i never fully enjoyed myself while being overweight. i have always worried what i looked like in clothes & how i looked being intimate with some1. i now want 2 look, feel, & b my best. & that means that i need 2 b healthier. losin weight is a positive effect of that

i feel happier & more energized since i've started losin weight again. maybe u should let them know that 2? they'll have more energy 2 do what they want.

& p.s.:
i'd rather hurt my brothers feelings than bury him in a coffin or worse. have him go thru heart issues, diabetes, hypertension, strokes. even at young ages that can happen. there could b a time-bomb inside their bodies just b/c of their bad eatin habits & weight....

a few sayings have helped me in the past:

the body can do more than the mind thinks it can
a life lived in fear is a life half-lived.

HealthyChanges2010

Your job is take care you Sweetie!!:drinker: That's your number one concern at this very moment and if by doing that others see you as an example (which happens often) , then BONUS!! Paying attention to your health and what goes in your mouth and your body, and keeping up your fitness is what you can do for you and anyone around you right now! There is not a thing you can do for another (except continue being an example until they are ready to make a decision they want or need to change their habits. Whether those habits be smoking, excess drinking or overeating/undereating.

Sneaking away bags of their food is not the answer to gettting them on a lifelong healhly eating path (that'll likely just piss them off, picture another type of addict,, if you took an alchoholics beer and poured it out, it's not likely the person drinking it would say 'gee thanks' (do you know what I mean?). It's their food to do as they will. It's your parents job if the boys are young enough and under their care to be in charge of the situation if it's happening at home.

I noticed you you are very very very passionate about the needs of others (post from last night), and compassion is a great trait. But overextending yourself can cause incredible stress which does NOT help anybody and definitely stalls weightloss when we tend to get stuck in the worry mode.

This is your time to shine, your time for YOU, the first time in your life you get to have it be all about ME ME ME (YOU, lol), that's NOT being selfish, that's saving your life Hon!!

It's hard watching those we love eat things we now know are unhealthy but others in the past watched us do the very same until it clicked for us and I'm sure it wasn't easy for them at all., If someone had had said something to me 200lbs ago before 2007 (when I got my click & my own reality hit that I was a mess). I doubt my ears would have been open to hear, I simply wasn't ready until then and it took ME to begin, noone else could do it for me.. It really takes being ready, if that's one thing on this site we can all learn from, we cannot force anyone to do something they haven't yet decided they themselves aren't ready to seriously undertake.

Everyday there are posts ppl popping in to begin threads excited to lose 5 lbs overnight, 20 lbs by the wedding on the weekend, 50 lbs in a realistic way etc. All sorts of members have various goals in their heads. We can offer them healthy advice if asked, help them along the way but we can't force ourselves on them until they realize that 20 lbs in a week is well, frankly insane when you're only 10lbs overweight.

If you can find another spot in the house, allow the boys their space, go for a walk, read a book outside, rollerblade, jump rope, get on here just you did, blog, chat with your special newsfeed pals, anything to stay away from the food yourself. Being angry and frustrated at others behavior can many times lead us to a binge ourselves. It may not feel that way to you at this very moment but food is tricky that way and our minds as well.

Steering away from old temptations will build up your resitance and keep you working hard and keep you with your motivated ppl (MFP friends or local friends if they are like minded)

Please take care of YOU and spend less time caring for others, as you are making HUGE changes in your life and are quite vulnerable at this point. We all go through it, wanting to pull others along with us. It simply doesn't work that way Hon, unfortunately .:ohwell:

Becca:flowerforyou: