Does our desire for perfection get in the way?

Montepulciano

So, I have been reading a lot of posts on the boards and some of the struggles, including my own, have been around the idea that I have to eat healthy perfectly all the time. There is no room for mistakes. And then it was like a light bulb that went off over my head, and I thought, just like it took me years to put on the weight, I am changing years of habits. It takes time to change one habit, never mind many habits that cumulatively led to where I am. One bad choice does not mar the progress made. Perfection is the goal, but the reality is the work to get there?

Kalikel

Failure is, IMO, part of the process. If someone never fails, that's wonderful! I'm not suggesting that you must fail on order to succeed.

But if you're trying to change your diet from a generally crappy one to a good one, as I had to, failure can be just part of the process.

I don't even consider them failures, like so many people do, but setbacks.

Fall down, get back up.

yesimpson

I definitely think an all-or-nothing mentality gets nobody anywhere. There is no problem with eating a biscuit with your tea, the issue is when that biscuit becomes ten or puts you over your calorie allowance day in and day out.

DeguelloTex

The idea that there even is a perfectly healthy way to eat or that having treats is unhealthy probably gets in the way more than a lot of things.

WBB55

Does anyone play golf?

For me, striving for a healthy life where I'm confident in my own skin is a lot like a game of golf. No one scores an 18. The "fun" is when you really nail a shot and you're like "man, did you see that?" You know there's a chance the next hole might be a 10. But if it is a 10, do you shrug and go on to the next hole? Or do you pack up your clubs and head home because you got a 10 on one hole?

I can't believe I made a sports analogy.

Montepulciano

DeguelloTex wrote: »

The idea that there even is a perfectly healthy way to eat or that having treats is unhealthy probably gets in the way more than a lot of things.

Yes, it gets in the way. You boiled my babbling down to the essence, thank you!

And the golf analogy works so well!

lemurcat12

Yeah, getting over the all or nothing way of thinking is a good thing to work on. For a while I couldn't seem to get motivated to lose and part of it was I'd start some strict plan (eating and workouts) and something would come up or I'd screw up and go off plan and decide well, it's ruined, I'll have to start over. And I'd take the excuse to stop exercising and eating sensibly for the time being.

This time (starting back in Jan 2014 -- I've been maintaining for a while now), I was much more committed and part of that was an attitude that I shouldn't be so strict and can work up -- for example, rather than starting right in with a crazy workout schedule I decided to walk a lot more in my daily life and do a couple other things that would be pretty easy for me. The idea was to build habits. And I decided if I went off plan I'd think about why and learn from it, but not see it as ruining anything (which was a crazy way to think about it). It made a huge difference.

ninerbuff

IMO what gets in the way is overthinking the process. With all the fad diets and misinformation from the fitness and dieting industry, people get stammered by what they have to do to lose weight, when the reality is, they just need to eat less and burn more. CICO is all it takes.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Montepulciano

lemurcat12 wrote: »

Yeah, getting over the all or nothing way of thinking is a good thing to work on. For a while I couldn't seem to get motivated to lose and part of it was I'd start some strict plan (eating and workouts) and something would come up or I'd screw up and go off plan and decide well, it's ruined, I'll have to start over. And I'd take the excuse to stop exercising and eating sensibly for the time being.

This time (starting back in Jan 2014 -- I've been maintaining for a while now), I was much more committed and part of that was an attitude that I shouldn't be so strict and can work up -- for example, rather than starting right in with a crazy workout schedule I decided to walk a lot more in my daily life and do a couple other things that would be pretty easy for me. The idea was to build habits. And I decided if I went off plan I'd think about why and learn from it, but not see it as ruining anything (which was a crazy way to think about it). It made a huge difference.

Thank you for posting! I have been really focusing on my eating habits, and have not really started on the moving/exercise thing yet. I know I will, but I felt like I needed to get a better handle on eating first. Fixing it all RIGHT NOW felt overwhelming and even so I have been feeling guilty about not doing it.

krithsai

ninerbuff wrote: »

IMO what gets in the way is overthinking the process. With all the fad diets and misinformation from the fitness and dieting industry, people get stammered by what they have to do to lose weight, when the reality is, they just need to eat less and burn more. CICO is all it takes.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

True story. Ignorance is bliss sometimes.

Ruth1212

Don't make perfect the enemy of good.

scyian

ninerbuff wrote: »

IMO what gets in the way is overthinking the process. With all the fad diets and misinformation from the fitness and dieting industry, people get stammered by what they have to do to lose weight, when the reality is, they just need to eat less and burn more. CICO is all it takes.

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

This!

scolaris

Yes the perfection monster whispers lies in our ears... It's sort of a sophisticated form of procrastination!
And I am all about paths of least resistance.

Montepulciano

Ruth1212 wrote: »

Don't make perfect the enemy of good.

Indeed. Thanks!

Montepulciano

scolaris wrote: »

Yes the perfection monster whispers lies in our ears... It's sort of a sophisticated form of procrastination!
And I am all about paths of least resistance.

We do become so clever in ways to avoid changing at times.

nyponbell

I've done my best to move away from the all or nothing approach. In the past, I wouldn't have had chocolate "whenever" but now I do; often it is within my calorie goal, but sometimes it puts me in the red (and sometimes put be in a "total" surplus; meaning, even when discounting the built in deficit I'm in the red) and I can handle that better now and move on from it. It's a process, and never a straight road. Setbacks (temporary and not so temporary ones) are bound to happen. I personally believe that they help me in the long run, because this is not a diet for me but a way of life; and learning how to handle things like this now while I'm still in the process of losing weight will benefit me in the future when I'm in maintenance.