Don't know where to turn...

girljar

I am so depressed about my weight; I have reached the point that whenever I even think about it I start crying. I don't want to go anywhere, I have stopped doing the things I used to enjoy, because they all involve wearing a swimsuit, and I don't want to make love to my husband, because I am worried about how my appearance mayl affect his performance, and I'm not willing to take that chance. I have been at this weight before, but this time it is different; The weight is mostly pure fat, and I find myself repulsive. I get angry when my husband looks at me when I'm not fully clothed. We've been married for 27 years, and I cannot trust that he won't be as repulsed as I am. I don't know anyone who is in the same position as far as the things that bother me the most. There are just some things about being fat that you can't discuss with anyone else. I have tried everything, and had lost 40 lbs., until last holiday season I gained it all back, and continue to gain. I cannot walk, which is how I lost my weight previously, due to an injury, and I can't seem to make myself exercise, even though I bought an elliptical. I have tried dieting, and had no willpower whatsoever. I just needed an outlet, I guess, so thank you for that. Hopefully I will push through this depression in a few days. Thanks.

PaytraB

Well, today is a good day to start your new life style. This isn't a diet but a new way of life. You've come to the right place for support and help. Make small changes at first. The rest will come. You can do this and with each pound that you lose, you're attitude towards yourself will improve. Don't give up.

wilsoje74

Try using my fitness pal and logging all your food. That's a start! Try to stay at your calorie goal most days!

Jerrypeoples

I am so depressed about my weight; I have reached the point that whenever I even think about it I start crying. I don't want to go anywhere, I have stopped doing the things I used to enjoy, because they all involve wearing a swimsuit, and I don't want to make love to my husband, because I am worried about how my appearance mayl affect his performance, and I'm not willing to take that chance. I have been at this weight before, but this time it is different; The weight is mostly pure fat, and I find myself repulsive. I get angry when my husband looks at me when I'm not fully clothed. We've been married for 27 years, and I cannot trust that he won't be as repulsed as I am. I don't know anyone who is in the same position as far as the things that bother me the most. There are just some things about being fat that you can't discuss with anyone else. I have tried everything, and had lost 40 lbs., until last holiday season I gained it all back, and continue to gain. I cannot walk, which is how I lost my weight previously, due to an injury, and I can't seem to make myself exercise, even though I bought an elliptical. I have tried dieting, and had no willpower whatsoever. I just needed an outlet, I guess, so thank you for that. Hopefully I will push through this depression in a few days. Thanks.

i dont think anyone who has decided to make a life altering change such as this before hasnt felt what youre going through.

the thing you have to remember is this weight was put on over time and will not be coming off after a few weeks.

start off slowly. identify what causes you the most stress and learn how to battle that. I dont want to assume too much here but i am guessing that you try to eat a little better then get frustrated and think things will never change so you go back to eating unhealthy again. and then it is just a vicious circle.

as corny and cliche as it sounds you first have to accept yourself as you are and not just acknowledge that you want to change but you have to really mean it.

then maybe start weighing you foods. maybe cut out the unhealthy snacks. no more pop/soda. change cereals from those with mascots on them to more healthier choices. maybe not so much pasta.

then once you get comfortable with that one change, make another and when youre comfortable there, make another. then take up exercising. maybe its 5 minutes a day on the elliptical for 2 weeks then its 10 minutes 2 weeks and then its 30 minutes etc...

i would love to tell you its easy and there will be no obstacles on your w(eigh)ay but it is hard and it wont be easy. but if you set your mind on course i think you can do it.

bnjones56

everyday is a brand new day to start. Start with something simple as watching your snacks for today. Start with a 10 minute exercise sitting in your chair. Your husband has been with you 27 years through the ups and downs of marriage. You are valuable no matter what the outside looks like. Conider yourself as the beautiful you. Yes, you might how put on some extra weight, but you are still the same person. start with small changes and increase over a period of time.

GFielding_56

Hi -first thing I'd say is lift your head up and say out loud " I am going to win this fight" there are lots of people who have been where you are and decided enough was enough. You've made the first step -admitted your not happy with yourself and that you want to do something about it. That's an excellent start. Lots of posts from people who have lots incredible amounts of weight through sheer dogged determination so don't despair.

Try sending a few friend requests then you'll start receiving the encouragement you need to push yourself. This will also allow you to see the postings and the positive energy there is

I started in December last year and have lost 12.7 kg and feels ouch better for it.

It is all about balance of food taken in vs amount burned. If you cannot get about much by walking you need to try some alternatives
e.g small weights something that will help you burn calories

Log what you eat try and guess portion size as best you can. To lose one pound of weight you need to lose 3500 calories approx 500 a day by cutting down food and/or increasing your exercise calories burned.

Today is the start of your change to the rest of your life

Good luck

George F aka Fat_bloke_56

Bharsa1

It's not impossible to change, it's not easy either. But you can do it, you just have to want to. I believe many of the mistakes people make are they try to run a marathon when they have never ran a block. Don't try to do everything at once. As it was said in an earlier post this is a lifestyle not a diet. A lifestyle of clean eating 80% of the time and dirty eating (let's call it dieting) 20% of the time.

I promise you if you cut out the dirty food...sugars, refined flours, pre-packaged food, trans fats, hydorgenated whatever, you will begin to lose weight. Clean eating, eating what the body needs to run properly will get you there.

But do it slow. Begin by just cutting out sodas and sugar filled drinks. Move on to cutting out breads or rices and replacing them with vegetables and fruits. These are the steps you can take and if you want to help just ask. There are plenty of people on this board that will offer it up at no cost and I am one of them. You can send me messages here or to my email Barry@thethinbeltline.

But, whatever you do commit to the lifestyle. You will thank yourself for it 40 years from now

USMCnetty90

This is a great place for support and encouragement. Sounds like you have made a start just deciding that you want to do this.
I agree with some of the other posters - one day at a time - baby steps. I have found that all the people on here are super supportive!!!

glynifer

For me, getting to a really really low point was the best way for me to start losing weight. I don't think I'd have been successful without hitting that really low point and yes, there were a lot of tears. If you can't exercise right now why not work hard to make food something you love again, cook fantastic meals within your daily targets. try new fruits and vegetables and types of food from around the world. Maybe it won't be a short weight loss journey so make it a fun one, you seem like a lovely person and I hope you feel better soon.
if you are feeling very down, sometimes talking to someone can help? but there are a lot of people on here who know how hard it is and will support you. you are not alone by any means. good luck xxx

brendad2

Brain over Binge is an excellent read, and may be of some help.

weighmeless

Well I was feeling same about myself when I started with this... In 3 whole months I lost around 9 pounds with no exercise. I stopped following this routine due to personal reasons and put back the weight ( some )..so I am back on track here to get my weight loosing again.. It not only makes you feel good physically but also mentally. But have patience. 1st month may not be much but your body will start getting used to your calorie intake and you will slowly observe that you cannot also eat much as you would want to & now that's a good & healthy sign. It will surely and certainly help. The only exercise I got was getting things done inside home. It's also a user friendly and can download the app on phone. Good for you if you can work out even for 10 mnts. All the best. It WILL work. :flowerforyou:

crazycurls2013

The battle with weight is not easy, however is one we can win.
Take this like a challenge - head on! You can do this! is it hard - HECK YEAH. Are their days you will want to quit - ABSOLUETLY. However the reward and benefits are amazing. Rejoice in the small progress...so you didnt walk or exercise today, you will tomorrow. No matter what size you are, never think that 1) you cant exricIse - there is always something to fit our body needs. 2) someone finds you repulsive- that is THEIR problem not yours, and 3) that you cannot do it. How can you feel motivated or energize when you dont give yourself a chance? Forgive yourself and start healing.

When I was going through my divorced the first thing my counselor told me: get moving. Ironically had nothing to do with weight, but more with endorphines - those feel good hormones are addictive!

You know, I joke around with my kids that all human beings have one amazing super power: the power to choose. Choose to live a life of health, focus on feeling good - not the number or the cute little outfits you once fit into.

There is a saying back home: a drop of water hits the rock so many times until it cracks the rock. Meaning: is about consistency and patience.
Best of luck in your journey.... and know, you are not alone.

Just_Scott

First, the only crying on here is your body as the fat comes off.

Second, your husband loves you unconditionally--do this for you, no one else.

Third, you have landed in the right place. Write down the goals, stay flexible, enjoy the journey. What are you waiting for?