Grieving after miscarriage

hipnonna

hello.. I don't know if anyone is going through a grieving process ... I need something positive to focus on right now... I am an emotional eater and I'm hoping to get my mind in the right place ... Your welcome to join me on my journey

lizwooshy

Hello. I am incredibly sorry for your loss. My sister in law has been through a still birth and several miscarriages and lately she has found solice in going on nightly walks and taking it one day at a time. Best of luck, and take it easy on yourself!

queenliz99

I'm sorry for your loss. Grieving is so hard. I hope you feel better soon.

wanderinglight

I am so sorry for your loss. My miscarriage was one of the most deeply painful and private experiences I've ever had, and I was unprepared for how difficult it was. I tried to shift my focus to being healthy and losing weight afterwards (figuring at least that was something I could control) but I found it hard to lose weight for many months. probably because my hormones were still going crazy. I worked out hard. Then I realized I was trying to move too quickly through the grieving process. I took a step back and worked on being gentle and kind to myself and letting the emotions pass through me, feeling each one as it came. It's hard to explain. I feel like I have come through on the other side now. It brought my husband and I closer to each other in ways I could never have expected, and for that I am grateful.

Debmal77

Sorry to hear this. I have been there too. Add me if you like.

angelexperiment

It is tough thing to experience but let yourself go through the motions. I myself had to take comfort in knowing one day I will see them again and I must let them go. I had 3 miscarriages so I understand the feelings you are experiencing. I did a dbtworkbook and it helped me to let go and I focused on walking and eating healthy too. I am sorry for your loss as well.

rats2010

Though I know it doesn't help in the least bit, I am sorry for your loss. I've had 6 miscarriages and each one is a different experience, so I will not say I know how you are feeling either. Positive things to focus on: a loving husband, existing children or pets if there are any, a roof over your head. They may not seem important in the grand scheme of things that you DONT have right now, ie, baby bump and morning sickness, but it takes time to rebound. Sometimes, it takes A LONG TIME, and that is ok. Regardless of what anyone tells you, it is ok to feel however you are feeling for as long as it takes. I was angry for a long time, bitter and unhappy, unwilling to admit that I even cared. During that time, I lost myself and let myself go: to the freezer for cherry vanilla ice cream, to the cabinet for Hershey bars, out to eat for burgers and fries and shakes and whatever else I could pile into my mouth until I was so full there was nothing left to feel but how incredibly full I was... and still there was an emptiness.

Don't be afraid to speak to a counselor if you need to; I should have and didn't. If you are angry, buy a punching bag or join a martial arts class or lose yourself in weight lifting: anything that you can push yourself at, even if just to show "my body can at least do THIS." Take the time to build yourself back up, physically and emotionally.
Each day is a fresh start, and tomorrow you might make it until lunch before thinking about it, or maybe not past the first morning pee... the days vary but it does get better.

The pain doesn't go away, but it gets better in that you will begin to accept it.

valmaebel

I know it doesn't seem like it, but it will get easier. There will always be pain, moments of sorrow where something brings back the memory, but it will get easier. I lost twin boys at 22 weeks. They would be 12 years old this coming April.
I echo what everyone else has said, let yourself feel what you're feeling. It's okay to be angry. It's also okay to still have moments of joy and happiness. Never let what you're feeling cause guilt. I found it easier to acknowledge my sons. I wanted them to always be a part of my family, not something unspoken like we were ashamed of them. But that may not be for you. I also echo the idea of seeing a counselor if you don't have good emotional support at home. I had a strong family around me that brough me great comfort.
Message me if you ever need someone to talk to.

nmason4348

I went through the same thing earlier this year. It's so tough and you are left feeling out of sorts emotionally and physically for afterwards. But getting back on track feels really good but it's different when that is for each individual person.

healthy_lovez

I have been through it, twice, both were D&C's, and afterwards found out that it is due to a rare chromosome issue that I am the carrier of and I will likely never have my own children. As someone who felt like I was BORN to be a mother it took years for me to recover, but I found myself at 261lbs.

I am on a journey now to be healthy and lose that weight but it has taken time. It is the worst thing in the world to hear but unfortunately time is the only thing that helps in my opinion. It has been 6 years since my last m/c and I think just in the last year or two did I understand why any of it happened. I have grown so much as a person and hopefully one day I can be a mom in a different way, but I know I have to put myself first and work on my health in order to make any of that worth it.

<b>Don't let your loss be for no reason.</b> Don't let it just be a scar. Let it be something that drives and motivates you to be better. Losing a child, in any form, in my opinion, gives you a compassion and heart that cannot be matched by anyone. It gives you a deeper understanding of life and how precious time is.

Sending you huge hugs!