I can do this. I can.

This is not my first rodeo with weight loss.

In 2008, at 16 years old, I lost 40 pounds completely on my own over the course of about four months and - shocking, I know - I gained it all back (and more) over the last few years. I went from 190 to 150 pounds at 5'8", and I did it in the most unhealthy ways possible. I ate less than 800 calories per day, a lot of times under 500, and exercised compulsively. If I went 50 or 100 calories over the limit I had set for myself, I'd do a 'punishment' workout on top of my normal routine, and pushed myself too hard, too fast. I looked great and felt awful. Small wonder it didn't last.

I've tried losing weight again over the last year or so without success and I've dished out a ton of lame excuses. Sure I work full time and yes, I'm in school. So what? If I let that prevent me from making a change, it'll never happen and I'll always feel as sick as I did this morning after a weekend of eating like food is on the endangered list.

I found MFP on reddit's r/loseit and figured that I have nothing to lose. Well, actually, I have 55 pounds to loose now that I'm up to 205, but using this app can't hurt. I need to track calories. I need to be accountable for what I eat, all day, every day. I don't want Type 1 Diabetes or heart disease or whatever other charming things come with being overweight. I'm tired of shopping at the back of the rack. I'm tired of being the fat friend. It's exhausting.

I can do this. I've done it before. I'm 22 years old and have nothing to stop me from hitting the gym and eating like I care about myself. No more Taco Bell trips after class. No more donuts in the morning. At least not on a regular basis. More leafy greens. More water. More fruits and whole grains.

This post is getting too long, so I'm sorry for that. I think what I really need is a community and a place to see my progress laid out in physical form. It's easy to ignore the calories you consume when it's never placed plainly in front of you, and I'm hoping that's what MFP does for me.

By this time next June I want to have that 55 pounds lost. I can do this.

Replies

  • Big5BigChange
    Big5BigChange Posts: 56 Member
    You're writing all the right things as far as I can tell; learnt from previous mistakes, taking responsibility, committing to the process. Not only that, but your attitude is shining through....."I can" and "I will". This reads as much like a manifesto to yourself as a shout out to the community, but regardless of which, I cheer "Bravo!"

    Well done for getting back to it. Now prove yourself right :smile:
  • JustaJoe00
    JustaJoe00 Posts: 777 Member
    good luck...if you need to vent or ramble here..no worries...we need something...right?
  • DracoViridis
    DracoViridis Posts: 2 Member
    Start with changing "i can" to "i will"
    And by the way, restricting yourself too much can lead to another failiure.
  • jennifer_417
    jennifer_417 Posts: 12,344 Member
    Sounds like you're in a good place with this. Feel free to send me a friend request if you want!
  • Jessiekp0406
    Jessiekp0406 Posts: 46 Member
    You can do it!!! Feel free to add me
  • rankinsect
    rankinsect Posts: 2,238 Member
    I wish I'd figured all that out at 22. With an attitude like that, you'll make it.
  • jwendy2
    jwendy2 Posts: 3 Member
    I believe in you! If you want you can add me as a friend. :)
  • zoeysasha37
    zoeysasha37 Posts: 7,088 Member
    You can do this !

    ( fun fact, I started at that weight also. I'm also 5'8!! I'm 135 now !)

    If you dont already , Get yourself a food scale , it will help !

    Best of luck !!