Anyone else struggle with negative body image/thoughts?

PattyRS77

I have always had a negative body image partly due to the way I was raised but more now that I am overweight. I can't seem to shake the negative thoughts.

Any tips?

Kimo159

Focus on what your body can do instead of how it looks. Or focus on something you really like about your physical appearance. Be kind and be positive as much as possible.

mmarie_3

Yes. I was raised with a very verbally abusive father who constantly beraded me on what I ate or looked like. You have to first step outside of your body and learn your self worth. Replace your negative thoughts with positive ones. You have to learn to love your body, even all of its flaws. That's the body that is allowing you to live!

PattyRS77

Thanks for the tips! For me learning to love and be positive about my body is the hard part! I also was constantly verbally abused sometimes it was physical. I know others had it worse than me and I can't use that as an excuse. The issue is me, I saw a picture from when I was a freshman in highschool and thought wow I was really skinny. The whole time I thought I was fat. I really thought I was overweight but in reality I was skin and bones at some points I looked unhealthy. I see myself in the mirror and I am disgusted. I try to work out and my knees & ankles hurt from just walking a mile or two. I have tried many diets to lose weight. Failed obviously, I gained the weight I lost plus some. There seems to always be someone trying to shove food in my mouth and sometimes that person is me. Logging food helps to keep track of my calorie intake. Usually I am either way under or way over.

Do you also find it difficult accepting compliments when people say randomly "your so pretty or you are beautiful"?? I don't believe it.

Have either of you heard about positive affirmations? I am curious if they help. If so, how did you start?

How did you start loving yourself?
I feel that I have started because I decided on a life style change instead of diet to lose the weight for me not for anyone else but that isn't enough for me.

alicat1974

Find something about yourself that you like -- I'm sure there's something. It doesn't need to be physical. Then start telling yourself, either mentally or out loud, that you are happy with that bit.

Examples:

"Wow, my eyeliner really looks on point today! I did a great job with that."

Or, (and this translates to any task, obviously) "I crocheted that last row really well, my yarn tension looks awesome in this sweater I'm working on."

"Yay me, I did the dishes right away and didn't let them sit out like I usually do!"

Get used to finding positive things about you. Any positive things. Compliment yourself until that starts to feel normal and not weird. Soon the compliments from other people won't sound weird either. And you'll start being able to see all the great things about yourself, including your looks.

You are more than just your appearance. Look at all of you and soon you'll see how great you are and why you deserve to take care of yourself.

Kimo159

alicat1974 wrote: »

Find something about yourself that you like -- I'm sure there's something. It doesn't need to be physical. Then start telling yourself, either mentally or out loud, that you are happy with that bit.

Come to think about it, you're so right. It doesn't need to be physical! Just anything you like.

Changing your mindset can be a long and challenging process. To this day I still find it difficult to accept compliments. My first reaction (still!) is to say something to the effect of my not agreeing and then poking fun at my flaws. But 99% of the time I stop myself and I reply with "Thank you!" and then I think about the fact that they complimented me for whatever it was and that I projected that onto the world.

As far as loving yourself, focus on anything positive. Instead of something negative look at positive. For myself these were a few things.
1. "I'm fat" turned to I may not be perfect but I'm getting better everyday. My body is capable of doing so much. Yoga and lifting weights helped me with this because I could focus on the accomplishments there and what my body could do
2. "I can't run fast" turned to oh look how far I ran today.
3. "I wish I wasn't so introverted, people would like me so much more". I stopped caring about what people would think of me and did ME. If they didn't like me then it wasn't worth spending time try to get them to like me. Well I am introverted, but I like people....and people DO like me...I just was too shy/self conscious to really open up. When I did, I made more friends.
These are just my demons. Yours are likely totally different and I just wanted to give some examples of how I deal with them.

I follow a lot of stuff on facebook/instagram for positive affirmations. They helped in the beginning for sure because it helps your mind shift to positivity (at least it did for me).

Congratulations on making steps towards loving yourself. It will be the best thing you ever did!

tulips_and_tea

I'm very sorry about your painful past. No one should have to endure that. Good for you for recognizing that you can't use it as an excuse or hold you back from enjoying yourself and your life!

The part about seeing a picture of yourself and thinking you were fat back then? Yeah, that's common for a lot of us, even without past issues. Hindsight is 20/20, as they say.

Great advice has been given already. One thing I'd add is whenever a negative thought pops into your head, picture yourself saying those exact words to a friend. Or even a stranger. Would you say it? If not, then DON'T say it to yourself, either! We are the only ones who can treat ourselves the way we want and deserve to be treated. Keep researching the positive affirmations and changing your mindset. Good luck and you can do it!