Loosing weight & Relationships?
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christinev297 wrote: »lindsey1979 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »butterfli7o wrote: »
Me too. . If I caught my husband doing that His *kitten* along with his computer would be out the door quick smart!As far as the porn thing goes.......if you know and accept that he watches it, how do you know what he is watching? Do you check up on him to see what he is searching? I am only asking because maybe you *think* the porn doesn't bother you, but maybe it bothers you more than you realize if you are going in after him and checking what he is watching. And if it deep down really does bother you, you will need to come to some kind of compromise. Just a thought from a complete stranger on the internets.
If I were in your shoes, it would be time for some serious conversations. You both need to be on the same page about the way things are going in your life, so you can understand one another. Right now it sounds like things are a little disjointed. Life is tough and with a new baby, you making big changes in your health/life and general realtionship junk, sometimes a "state of affairs" meeting (as we call them in our house) is necessary.
Doesn't every guy watch porn? I thought it was jut a normal thing.
Ummm No, it may be normal for teenage boys, but grown *kitten* men, no it's not. Your man is only 27 though, so still pretty young and immature at that age IMO.
It's pretty normal for grown men too.
Maybe for singles... But for men in a healthy marriage, I don't understand why they would. In all fairness, my life wouldn't be worth living either if he caught me looking at porn, and especially teenage boys
I'm married, he's 30, we have a child, and he still watches. I have NO problem, it's completely normal.0 -
Kimegatron wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »lindsey1979 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »butterfli7o wrote: »
Me too. . If I caught my husband doing that His *kitten* along with his computer would be out the door quick smart!As far as the porn thing goes.......if you know and accept that he watches it, how do you know what he is watching? Do you check up on him to see what he is searching? I am only asking because maybe you *think* the porn doesn't bother you, but maybe it bothers you more than you realize if you are going in after him and checking what he is watching. And if it deep down really does bother you, you will need to come to some kind of compromise. Just a thought from a complete stranger on the internets.
If I were in your shoes, it would be time for some serious conversations. You both need to be on the same page about the way things are going in your life, so you can understand one another. Right now it sounds like things are a little disjointed. Life is tough and with a new baby, you making big changes in your health/life and general realtionship junk, sometimes a "state of affairs" meeting (as we call them in our house) is necessary.
Doesn't every guy watch porn? I thought it was jut a normal thing.
Ummm No, it may be normal for teenage boys, but grown *kitten* men, no it's not. Your man is only 27 though, so still pretty young and immature at that age IMO.
It's pretty normal for grown men too.
Maybe for singles... But for men in a healthy marriage, I don't understand why they would. In all fairness, my life wouldn't be worth living either if he caught me looking at porn, and especially teenage boys
I'm married, he's 30, we have a child, and he still watches. I have NO problem, it's completely normal.
That's nice. But for me/us, it just wouldn't fly.
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Doesn't every guy watch porn? I thought it was jut a normal thing. Maybe it actually does bother me? I know the younger girls thing bothers me just as much as the skinny part does..
One of the ways to answer these questions is to ask yourself....If he were searching for porn involving 60 year old women or Fat Women, would you still feel insecure about the choices?
I am 47 years old and believe me, I am not simply searching out stuff with 40 year olds in it.
As for you checking out what he searches for...... how would you feel if he made a point to search through your phone or computer to see what you have been up too? If you love him that needs to include trust. Snooping is the opposite of trust.
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christinev297 wrote: »Kimegatron wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »lindsey1979 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »butterfli7o wrote: »
Me too. . If I caught my husband doing that His *kitten* along with his computer would be out the door quick smart!As far as the porn thing goes.......if you know and accept that he watches it, how do you know what he is watching? Do you check up on him to see what he is searching? I am only asking because maybe you *think* the porn doesn't bother you, but maybe it bothers you more than you realize if you are going in after him and checking what he is watching. And if it deep down really does bother you, you will need to come to some kind of compromise. Just a thought from a complete stranger on the internets.
If I were in your shoes, it would be time for some serious conversations. You both need to be on the same page about the way things are going in your life, so you can understand one another. Right now it sounds like things are a little disjointed. Life is tough and with a new baby, you making big changes in your health/life and general realtionship junk, sometimes a "state of affairs" meeting (as we call them in our house) is necessary.
Doesn't every guy watch porn? I thought it was jut a normal thing.
Ummm No, it may be normal for teenage boys, but grown *kitten* men, no it's not. Your man is only 27 though, so still pretty young and immature at that age IMO.
It's pretty normal for grown men too.
Maybe for singles... But for men in a healthy marriage, I don't understand why they would. In all fairness, my life wouldn't be worth living either if he caught me looking at porn, and especially teenage boys
I'm married, he's 30, we have a child, and he still watches. I have NO problem, it's completely normal.
That's nice. But for me/us, it just wouldn't fly.
It's totally fine for it not to be okay for you, but that's very different than saying it's not normal. You made different choices, but it doesn't make others' choices abnormal.
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christinev297 wrote: »Kimegatron wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »lindsey1979 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »butterfli7o wrote: »
Me too. . If I caught my husband doing that His *kitten* along with his computer would be out the door quick smart!As far as the porn thing goes.......if you know and accept that he watches it, how do you know what he is watching? Do you check up on him to see what he is searching? I am only asking because maybe you *think* the porn doesn't bother you, but maybe it bothers you more than you realize if you are going in after him and checking what he is watching. And if it deep down really does bother you, you will need to come to some kind of compromise. Just a thought from a complete stranger on the internets.
If I were in your shoes, it would be time for some serious conversations. You both need to be on the same page about the way things are going in your life, so you can understand one another. Right now it sounds like things are a little disjointed. Life is tough and with a new baby, you making big changes in your health/life and general realtionship junk, sometimes a "state of affairs" meeting (as we call them in our house) is necessary.
Doesn't every guy watch porn? I thought it was jut a normal thing.
Ummm No, it may be normal for teenage boys, but grown *kitten* men, no it's not. Your man is only 27 though, so still pretty young and immature at that age IMO.
It's pretty normal for grown men too.
Maybe for singles... But for men in a healthy marriage, I don't understand why they would. In all fairness, my life wouldn't be worth living either if he caught me looking at porn, and especially teenage boys
I'm married, he's 30, we have a child, and he still watches. I have NO problem, it's completely normal.
That's nice. But for me/us, it just wouldn't fly.
So that is your OPINION. It is perfectly normal for grown men to watch it. You don't have to sit there and call grown men abnormal, who do something PERFECTLY NORMAL, as well as call someone immature at 27. Everyone has different maturity levels at all stages and walks in life. The man at the end of my street who looks about 70 who sexually harasses women who walk by, who has naked centerfolds tacked up on his living room walls, he is immature. So does that mean that all 70 year olds are immature?0 -
The funny thing is that your husband probably sneaks it when you're not around. But will deny it to the ends of the Earth, ha ha!0
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christinev297 wrote: »lindsey1979 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »butterfli7o wrote: »
Me too. . If I caught my husband doing that His *kitten* along with his computer would be out the door quick smart!As far as the porn thing goes.......if you know and accept that he watches it, how do you know what he is watching? Do you check up on him to see what he is searching? I am only asking because maybe you *think* the porn doesn't bother you, but maybe it bothers you more than you realize if you are going in after him and checking what he is watching. And if it deep down really does bother you, you will need to come to some kind of compromise. Just a thought from a complete stranger on the internets.
If I were in your shoes, it would be time for some serious conversations. You both need to be on the same page about the way things are going in your life, so you can understand one another. Right now it sounds like things are a little disjointed. Life is tough and with a new baby, you making big changes in your health/life and general realtionship junk, sometimes a "state of affairs" meeting (as we call them in our house) is necessary.
Doesn't every guy watch porn? I thought it was jut a normal thing.
Ummm No, it may be normal for teenage boys, but grown *kitten* men, no it's not. Your man is only 27 though, so still pretty young and immature at that age IMO.
It's pretty normal for grown men too.
Maybe for singles... But for men in a healthy marriage, I don't understand why they would. In all fairness, my life wouldn't be worth living either if he caught me looking at porn, and especially teenage boys
No, not just for singles. I am in a very healthy marriage and my wife has no problem with porn. Heck, if she isn't in the mood she will suggest I watch it even if she is sitting at her computer 6 feet from me. And no, we aren't some young kids, I am 47 and she is 55. Me watching 18-20 year olds isn't an issue. If it truly were minors that would be a different story but there is a big difference between seeking out porn of legal 18 year olds and that of 14 year olds.
As for why we would, the answer is simple. As my wife, I may find you to be absolutely beautiful and believe me when I say that you turn me on beyond belief, but that doesn't mean others don't turn me on either. Others who are sexy and gorgeous and ready to watch anytime. And yes, I expect the same from my partners. My wife watching porn, with or without me, is in no way a reflection on our relationship having any issues.
You may be more of the type who slaps your husband if you catch him looking at some other hottie. My wife is more likely to point them out so I don't miss them. We trust each other that way.
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christinev297 wrote: »That's nice. But for me/us, it just wouldn't fly.
Just playing the odds here but I am willing to bet that it is more about "you" than "us". I highly doubt your husband would be upset if he found you watching porn.
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I think this is something you should share with your partner. You won't be finding the answers you seek here.0
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we deal with SO much when we have kids, men lose their spouse for a while. He may feel confused that you have changed so much and can't express himself or even understand his own feelings. Men don't go through the same hormonal changes, its line they are on the other side of the glass.
The porn thing; I find that guys just change things up a bit. I'm confident that he just has that interest for now. That's no reflection on you. People watch porn to check out of reality and fantasize, not visualize their spouses that way. That's the best part of it; see something different. Nothing wrong with that. And it doesn't mean anything is wrong sexually.
But now go talk to him. Just ask him if he likes what you're doing. Tell him to be honest that it won't hurt your feelings. Guys fib yo avoid an argument or hurt feelings. If you help him feel comfortable to talk then he will.
That's my advice anyways
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christinev297 wrote: »lindsey1979 wrote: »christinev297 wrote: »butterfli7o wrote: »
Me too. . If I caught my husband doing that His *kitten* along with his computer would be out the door quick smart!As far as the porn thing goes.......if you know and accept that he watches it, how do you know what he is watching? Do you check up on him to see what he is searching? I am only asking because maybe you *think* the porn doesn't bother you, but maybe it bothers you more than you realize if you are going in after him and checking what he is watching. And if it deep down really does bother you, you will need to come to some kind of compromise. Just a thought from a complete stranger on the internets.
If I were in your shoes, it would be time for some serious conversations. You both need to be on the same page about the way things are going in your life, so you can understand one another. Right now it sounds like things are a little disjointed. Life is tough and with a new baby, you making big changes in your health/life and general realtionship junk, sometimes a "state of affairs" meeting (as we call them in our house) is necessary.
Doesn't every guy watch porn? I thought it was jut a normal thing.
Ummm No, it may be normal for teenage boys, but grown *kitten* men, no it's not. Your man is only 27 though, so still pretty young and immature at that age IMO.
It's pretty normal for grown men too.
Maybe for singles... But for men in a healthy marriage, I don't understand why they would. In all fairness, my life wouldn't be worth living either if he caught me looking at porn, and especially teenage boys
My husband watches porn. I have no issue with it. Sometimes I'll watch it with him. Sometimes I watch it without him. It's just moving pictures on a screen
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