Feeling defeated

Drine85

This has been a hell of week . I am at a stand still with my weight loss and I can't help but feel defeated because right now in this moment all I can see is the 80 pounds I have left to lose and every time I weigh myself I feel like it's more out of reach . And my mind is telling me that I've already lost 57 pounds and I should celebrate that . But emotionally I feel like I am failing again and every bit of food I put in mouth feels like punishment.

RaquelCowell

Why does my the food feel like punishment?

gidgetbridgett

Drine, you've got to change your mindset. You've made some great progress, so you definitely need to celebrate that! Celebrate each step you're taking. It's not always about the end result, but rather, it's about what you learned and became along the way.

The scale isn't always truthful of our progress either. Many times, you have to see how your clothes are fitting you instead. I'm sure you're seeing a difference in that!

Another thing to keep in mind is that you can hit a fitness plateau. You may need to change up your workouts or more importantly, you may need to scrutinize your nutrition a little more. Once you realize that food is important for nourishing, fueling, and loving your body, you won't feel like it's a punishment.

Do you keep a food journal? What's a typical day of eating look like?

Drine85

Thank you for the words of encouragement. Yes I keep a food journal and I am borderline obsessive about logging everything I put in my mouth. I always ensure I eat breakfast within one hour of waking. And I try to eat every couple hours smaller portions offset hunger pains

Drine85

RaquelCowell wrote: »

Why does my the food feel like punishment?

Because consuming the wrong food lead to my current predicament. So now that I am eating the right things it's not come off has fast as I put the weight on

Serendipitous_Heart

Embrace the person you are working toward becoming... it's difficult not to go back to old habits & feelings, because those are familiar and seem "safe". Be gentle, kind, & patient with yourself during this transformation

gidgetbridgett

There are two primary things that motivate humans: pain & pleasure. Right now you're thinking of food as pain because it has been harmful to you in the past. When you start assigning positive meaning to food such as: healthy food fuels my body, healthy food makes me feel stronger, my body needs nourishment to be strong, etc., then you won't feel like food is a punishment.

Also, food logging is a great tool, but don't let it become an obsession. That's another pain motivation right there. Your food log should be a tool to help you see what your patterns are. Are you taking in lots of sugar? What about processed foods? Any of these are okay in moderation, but many times there are hidden ingredients in foods that aren't whole.

You're taking great action! You just need to keep up a positive mindset to get you through the rough patches of this lifelong fitness journey!

If you want extra help or tips, I'm more than willing to help you, no strings attached. You can find me at www.facebook.com/gidgetsfitness or friend me at www.facebook.com/gidgetbridgett.

fiddletime

I think many people underestimate the importance of NOT losing weight. If you don't lose, and you don't gain, it's the "dreaded plateau". In reality, if we could have all managed a plateau at some point in our lives before we'd already gained the weight we're now trying to lose, we wouldn't be on this site. We wouldn't be over our ideal weight. Embrace your weeks of not losing as practice for your future when you will be at your ideal weight and want to just maintain it. After 3 weeks of no weight loss, congratulate yourself for not gaining, cut 100 calories from your eating and get ready to repeat as needed.

zorahgail

Drine85 wrote: »

And my mind is telling me that I've already lost 57 pounds and I should celebrate that. But emotionally I feel like I am failing again and every bit of food I put in mouth feels like punishment.

@Drine85 first I want to acknowledge you for being courageous and reaching out when you're feeling defeated. That's a big deal so I'll celebrate that for you!

What you're going through is perfectly normal. You've got your eyes set on a goal and of course that's the metric you're comparing your progress by. The scale is an easy way to see if you're "succeeding" or "failing".

The others have given you great advice. I'll throw in my two cents from a different perspective.

What I see in you is someone who's set an expectation for herself (weight loss), meaning you want something MORE from life. You've taken action to meet that expectation (food journaling, eating every couple hours, etc.), and now you've missed that target because the weight's not coming off as fast as it came on. Because of that, you're feeling defeated.

My gentle challenge/food-for-thought to is: What are you making failure mean about you?

If "failing" means not meeting your expectations, then I propose thinking about "success" in terms of meaning you are meeting your expectations.

Transforming ourselves isn't an easy road. It requires us to let go of what we're used to and to be consistently out of our comfort zone. That takes some serious guts!!! No matter what, be kind to yourself. We've got your back too.

RachaelWinston

Everyone here has said great things and just to put in my bit, I've been feeling defeated too lately. I have lost 28 pounds and have about 15 to go and I just realized that in the past 6 months I've only lost about 8 of those pounds. It was going so fast at the start and now it's a slow crawl even though I've made adjustments here and there. Sometimes I want to cry because I'm "hungry" but know I don't need more calories and the scale won't budge. Sometimes I'm so frustrated that I'm tired or just too busy to work out because of my weird work hours, it makes me want to scream. But I try to tell myself this is not a quick fix, this is a lifestyle change, this is a long term journey. It may be a hell of a long road but you are on it and if you stay on the wagon you will eventually reach those goals and be able to keep off the weight because you have laid the right foundation. Good luck and stay strong!!

jenmovies

Oh, I know that feel. It's crushing. I'm halfway, and on a plateau for weeks now. I agree with the others. You have done so well up until now! 80 may seem like a lot, but pretty soon it will be 70, then 60! Try setting little non-food reward goals, and just keep on swimmin'! You are the only thing standing in your way. The results will be so worth it.

Try reminding yourself consistently that one day, all this struggle will seem like a distant memory. For now, just try to have a bit of fun with it, think of all of this as you rewarding yourself, your body and those around you who you love because you will be a happier person for it. Do a new, fun class, get a friend involved, shake things up. Try watching TED talks, that helps me too. It puts things into perspective when you hear people talk about how they are saving the world. Makes me think to myself, "Yeah, I'm pretty sure I can stick to my cals and exercise today..."

Good luck!

noraron

Congrats on posing 57 pounds already!

Like you, I also have about 80 pounds to go. So far I'm managing to avoid getting overwhelmed by that number by setting smaller goals (eg lose 4 pounds in a month, or non-weight related goals like getting to the gym 3x a week). I'm also trying to focus on living in the moment, and just enjoying the fact that I'm eating well and exercising and making myself healthier right now. Even if I'm not thin yet, I'm thinner than I was, and that in itself feels pretty good. Given that I want to maintain this healthy lifestyle permanently, it doesn't really matter how long it takes to get to my ultimate goal.

Drine85

Thank you all for the words of encouragement. Each one help shift my focus from the destination to enjoying the journey. And I will be kind to
Myself and celebrate little victories like fitting Into a pair of jeans I haven't worn in 2 yrs .

Need2Exerc1se

57 lbs!! Wow! That is fantastic. Stay the course. You are doing great.

Just as losing one battle doesn't mean losing the war, one bad week doesn't mean defeat for your goals. Surrender is defeat. Don't give up.

susb

Wow! I agree! 57 lbs. is awesome! Patience my dear, it took us a long time to put on the weight and it takes a certain amount of time to lose it.

How awesome that you are wearing smaller jeans! Doesn't that feel fantastic!

It is best to have mini goals like someone mentioned above. Think of your eighty pounds as your ultimate goal and then put it away in a closet.

Set up mini goals, like imagine a five pound bag of sugar, that's what you want to focus on, one five pound bag of fat at a time. Chip away at it and celebrate by buying something new for yourself each time you hit a new mini goal! It could be a manicure, exercise DVD, 10 songs from iTunes, makeup or bubble bath.

I always weigh every morning before I eat or drink anything and in just my underwear for accuracy. Even if the scale does not change much every day, some days it will drop half a pound or so. Journaling your food matters greatly. It is not obsessive; it is important in losing or learning to maintain weight.

Can you imagine how many people in America have no idea how many calories they ingest each day?

It's nice to know.

Susan

mysteps2beauty

Hi,
I have 80 lbs to loose. So far I have lost almost 10 and I'm so excited about it !!! It did not happen on the day I set for the magic to appear...it took another 25 days before it did. I'm still relatively new on MFP, I had a weekend of overeating and the scale was not my friend. But I got back on track and bam! the final few pounds fell off. I'm so pumped! I know my final goal weight is now 70 lbs away, and if it happens later than sooner, I'll get there. I even adjusted my goal weight on my profile because the final goal weight was depressing me. So now my new "goal" is to lose 30 lbs not 80. It keeps me motivated, and more meaningful....

And loosing 57 pounds is AMAZING!

azulvioleta6

Drine85 wrote: »

RaquelCowell wrote: »

Why does my the food feel like punishment?

Because consuming the wrong food lead to my current predicament. So now that I am eating the right things it's not come off has fast as I put the weight on

Go punish yourself at the gym instead. Two birds, one stone.

You didn't put on the weight overnight--it's not reasonable to expect that you will lose it that way either. Just keep moving forward.

scookbey

Congrats on your current weight loss! That's amazing!