Ive quit drinking and my colleagues are annoying me!

mhairimedia

Hi all,

Ive quit drinking in a bid to help me lose weight.. ive done 84 days so far and have set a goal of december 19th as when i will drink again which im doing with friends. Just helps me cut it out altogether and am fine doing it. But went out with work on friday night and they just would not give it a rest that i wasnt drinking! They said i had to drink at the work christmas party and how could i not.. they were so judgemental. Not sure how to respond to them? I nearly gave in to the pressure but have stood strong. I have to go to this party and am driving but they say i should leave the car at home and drink... just dont want to deal with it anymore! Help!!!

GamerChick30

It's your body. They really have nothing to say about the matter. I'm quitting drinking right now too in order to cut calories and increase weight loss speed. It's not easy being around those who are drinking, especially when they act like your colleagues. Tell them to back off. If they respect you, they should respect your decisions, especially when you are trying to better yourself. Stay strong.

vespiquenn

Your coworkers sound like high schoolers.. Anyways. Just stick to your guns. If I were you, I would avoid going out with them. It doesn't seem to be enjoyable for you. But if that isn't possible, just make light of the situation and ignore them.

azulvioleta6

They sound like frightfully boring people.

Stop hanging out with them.

RodaRose

we call these people bullies.

feisty_bucket

I'd flip them off - in a friendly sort of way ("haha, yeah, eat me, pricks."). I refuse to take any dumb criticism seriously, just laugh it off. I don't deal with anybody this immature, but if they wouldn't move on: "Seriously, it's getting old. Drop it or I'm gone."

mhairimedia

True - thanks for all of your suggestions - I'm definitely going to stick to my guns - I won't be going out with them until that night, so it's just a few hours and then it's over with and they can all wake up with a hangover if they want. It is only one week from the christmas party until i drink again which is the bit they don't get, but i set this challenge a while back for a reason and will just be so proud of myself for sticking to it, so am going to stay strong!! Thanks guys

Pandora_and_her_box

Social pressure is always difficult. Well done for not letting them derail you from what you're doing. What does it matter to them if you drink or not? I seriously question the motives of people who try and sabotage other people's efforts to achieve their goals. Most of the time, I think that it stems from resentment of your ability to stick with something and that it also shines a light on an aspect of their lives (i.e they know they drink too much and should probably cut back) that they are unwilling or unable to change.

Soopatt

Drinking is a tricky one as a lot of the time people don't realize how rude they are being and think they are just helping you to have *fun*. I have a few strategies to help me to avoid having drinks forced on me. When I say "forced" - nobody holds my mouth open and pours it down, but they do things like order me a shot I didn't want or a drink I didn't want and place it in front of me. The drink has already been paid for and you become the bad guy when you don't drink it.

Although I still don't drink the things I never ordered - it makes it easier if they assume I already have a drink, so I make sure I always have sparkling water in a wine glass or a diet soda in a glass in my hand (I used to drink Vodka and Coke Zero, so just a Coke Zero looks like my old alcoholic drink and the water looks like wine). When I was younger I even used to resort to drinking the shot and then spitting it out into an empty soda can! This also works when you don't want to get drunk and no one accepts that you only want one drink all evening.

I wish we didn't have to resort to games, but sometimes it is easier.

Meganthedogmom

Wow, sounds like a bunch of morons who don't respect you or your decisions, honestly. When I quit drinking, I thought I would have the same reaction from my friends, but actually they were all supportive and understanding - the only people who gave me crap about it were coworkers who I did NOT consider friends.
Forget them and do you. And excellent job so far, by the way!

kbmnurse

Ignore the idiots.

cafeaulait7

That is really bad because of the alcoholism issue, too! Pushing alcohol with someone trying to cut back in any way is just not cool. I think I'd mention that part, even if it doesn't apply to you at all. Whether someone wants to drink or not is quite personal!

guppy1697

That's some pretty strong words from co-workers and very unprofessional. I hope you make it to your goal!

jgnatca

I would handle it much as @feisty_bucket describes. This sort of foolishness can't be taken seriously.

It has to do with changing your status in the group. Sometimes people find this threatening. The response is to tell them, gently, to grow up. They'll either adjust to the new you or have to find a new drinking buddy.

mhairimedia

Definitely - thanks for all you advice. someone has since mentioned that i should give myself a little treat i deserve it. Ugh! It's like.. just stop. Hate feeling like I'm doing something wrong!!!

aureliem1a

Hahahah, I'm dealing with the same situation. Not easy when friends or family don't support u. Just ignore them! Or do u have any friends who don't drink? Maybe u should stick with them. Good luck on your journey of weigh loss!

MsMaeFlowers

Have you told them how what they are doing is making you feel? Maybe they don't realize that they're upsetting you, and they honestly think you deserve a break or a treat. Just tell them if they are supposed to be your friends (I know you said they are your colleagues, but you're clearly somewhat friends with them), then they need to be more supportive of you and encourage you, help you, not try to make you fail. They might have an "Oh crap" moment when they realize what they've been doing. And if they don't care, drop them, you don't need that in your life.

dubird

Just keep telling them no. Yes, it's repetitive, but they'll eventually get the 'hint'. You might also try telling them this is on doctor's orders. Very few people will argue with that!

AskTracyAnnK28

I had to deal with a very similar situation last year. I'm not sure why people get so weird and uncomfortable around those who don't drink/quit drinking/don't feel like drinking? It's really strange. I stopped going out all together because it was really annoying.

phenomenal_woman2016

I quit for Sober October....so much pressure!!!!! I only made it 28 days but hey that is something ;-)
I always keep sparkling tonic water on hand because it's an easy switch for me. I am probably going to shoot for a sober December as well. I agree, every little bit helps when losing weight and drinking is just empty calories. I am definitely watching what I drink now.

tulips_and_tea

guppy1697 wrote: »

That's some pretty strong words from co-workers and very unprofessional. I hope you make it to your goal!

Definitely! Do you HAVE to socialize with these people? Do you WANT to? I'd not drink with them at the Christmas party either, both out of spite and to show them that you are WAY stronger than their childish whining and goading. Continue to be strong and do not give in to these people!

lithezebra

Can you walk around with a martini glass of water with an olive in it? It's totally fine to deceive coercive jerks. I used to pretend to drink at parties.

dburkhol

I would echo the advise given above:

1. Order the non-alcoholic drink of your choice
2. Just say "no thank you" when offered a drink. You don't have to explain yourself.
3. Never accept a drink you didn't order, even if told it is non-alcoholic,
4. If your company continues to be boorish, leave.

Trying to force someone to drink, is childish and DANGEROUS. If the person is trying to loose weight, you are sabotaging their goals. If they are in recovery, you could be sabotaging their LIFE.

jeremywm1977

It was interesting how my circle of friends changed (and how much money I saved) when I chose to not be a drinker. My conversations start intelligent, and remain intelligent throughout the night, as opposed to the steady degradation of coherence I experienced previously. I'm already quite adept at acting like an *kitten* without a chemical influence.

Although it doesn't so like it to some, we would still have fun. Being an audience to another group's drunk behavior is far funner than being a participant.

tulips_and_tea

jeremywm1977 wrote: »

It was interesting how my circle of friends changed (and how much money I saved) when I chose to not be a drinker. My conversations start intelligent, and remain intelligent throughout the night, as opposed to the steady degradation of coherence I experienced previously. I'm already quite adept at acting like an *kitten* without a chemical influence.

Although it doesn't so like it to some, we would still have fun. Being an audience to another group's drunk behavior is far funner than being a participant.

Yes, this aspect of it is true, too. People who think they have to drink to have fun generally become quite tiresome to be around very quickly. Being around drunk people can be funny and entertaining, but it gets old quickly as well. Good for you for making a positive lifestyle change!

dubird

jeremywm1977 wrote: »

Although it doesn't so like it to some, we would still have fun. Being an audience to another group's drunk behavior is far funner than being a participant.

So true! I can't drink very much, so I spent many a party laughing at other people being drunk. XD

mer1cose

You've made the right choice for you. I'm proud of you!