Battling Negative Thoughts - Suggestions?

jillk93

Hello!

I am VERY new to posting on MFP, however I have been a member for quite some time, flip flopping back and forth. When I was using MFP at my most frequent, maintaining my calorie goals and working out 4 times a week I got myself down to 124 Lbs! Which is the smallest I've ever been in the last 3-5 years.

Now, I am 5'6 and currently 142 Lbs. Hoping to lose the 20 ish Lbs. I put on over the last year It's been a tough year but I've been back at the gym consistently for the last two months.

My question for everyone is how do you deal with negative self thoughts/talk? Although I know I'm losing I still find myself viewing my weight and efforts in a negative light. Ex. Still feeling uncomfortable in my own skin, saying "Oh i'll never look like that" "Why isn't this weight coming off faster?" etc.

Any suggestions would help! I found it gets pretty bad for me sometimes to the point where I see no point in motivating myself for the gym

jgnatca

You are within the normal weight range.

You might try a buddhist mindfulness technique where you observe the thoughts without attaching any emotional weight to them. Try this for ten minutes a day and see if it makes a difference.

It almost never works to battle our compulsions, but rather to redirect them along a more productive path.

I personally wonder if you might be happier working on a recomposition plan rather than trying to hit a number on the scale.

tulips_and_tea

As always, great advice from @jgnatca. Also, comparison is the thief of joy. The people you're comparing yourself to had to start somewhere. You can look to them for inspiration, but you want to be the best YOU, not a version of them.

Learning to deal with negative thoughts is important in all aspects of our lives, so give the idea noted above a try. Here's the thing, though: when you reach your goal weight you will still have negative thoughts about this, that and the other. Don't expect them to magically disappear. Focusing on fitness goals rather than the # on the scale is much more helpful for long-term success.

BiondaM

I hear you jillk. For me, negative thoughts always result in suffering (emotionally), so when I become aware of the voice of the inner critic, I give her a big hug and say, 'thank you for sharing.' I know it's just old worn-out thought patterns and I don't have to beleive them and take them to heart. Make health your focus instead of the number on the scale.

ShibaEars

BiondaM wrote: »

I hear you jillk. For me, negative thoughts always result in suffering (emotionally), so when I become aware of the voice of the inner critic, I give her a big hug and say, 'thank you for sharing.' I know it's just old worn-out thought patterns and I don't have to beleive them and take them to heart. Make health your focus instead of the number on the scale.

This ^

When I stopped worrying so much about my weight, and instead started focusing on my workouts (and trying my best to fuel them properly) a lot of the negative thoughts went away. They still crop up from time to time, but they're easier to get past.

Focus on the amazing things your body is capable of, fuel yourself properly and don't let the number on the scale define you.

carlysuzanne85

All great advice above! One thing that has worked for me is intentionally saying something kind to myself anytime I think something negative about myself. It takes practice and purposeful effort when you first start but becomes second nature the longer you practice this. My rule is that I have to genuinely believe the kind thing. When I was extremely insecure, the most genuine compliment I could come up with was, "I have pretty eyes." But the more that I made myself say kind things, the more the kind things grew, the more of them there were, etc. Eventually the positive, kind thoughts started to occur naturally and more frequently and the negative voice started to quiet. I still struggle with self-esteem sometimes but this practice has helped tremendously.

jillk93

Thanks everyone! Your advice is really helping, trying to focus on health now. I haven't stepped on the scale in a couple days either

susb

I tell myself that I I can't afford to entertain negative thoughts, they work against the goals I wish to achieve.

RoseTheWarrior

Think about it this way: if your best friend were trying to lose weight or get healthier, how would you talk to her? Would you be saying these negative things? I doubt it. Be mindful to talk to yourself as you would a dear friend. You're worth it, and you deserve to be treated with love and kindness - especially from yourself