Discouraged about how much I have to lose...

AspenDan

Welp...100lbs ago I knew I had to lose weight, and I tried..and I failed 2 days in...then 50lbs ago I tried again and failed maybe 2 weeks in..

My point is that, imo, someone needs to be mentally prepared to fully commit to the caloric deficit lifestyle. It takes lots of little sacrifices every day, all day, in hopes for an awesome reward far in the future...that takes commitment, and if you fail don't be too tough on yourself, but just keep working on it.

TLDR is that some people take a while to mentally prepare, and if you fail, possibly you're not ready for that commitment...BUT TRY, TRY AGAIN!

Madwife2009

I understand the overwhelming feeling when looking at the long-term weight loss. I worked out that I needed to lose the equivalent of one and a half times my oldest daughter when I started. Over half of my body weight (actually closer to 60%) at the time. It seems completely insurmountable and that's enough to put anyone off even trying.

However, the weight isn't going to miraculously disappear. I've spent long enough ignoring my weight issue to know this.

I told myself that there was only one person who can make a difference and that the time to deal with it was then. Not the day after, not the following week/month/year. I'm now 15 weeks from that day and 48lbs lighter. I am SO glad that I decided to start dealing with my weight all of those weeks ago as that's 48lbs I don't have to deal with any more. I feel so much better and I'm fitter as I walk miles (believe me, the first walk I took once I started was a killer. I had to rest for a long time before walking back again). And the long-term goal doesn't seem so bad any more either, because I KNOW that I will get there, and I will maintain that end goal, even though I am still taking it one day at a time and one lb at a time.

I think that what I'm trying to say is that you have to start somewhere and at some point. Why wait? Now is better than tomorrow, or next week, or next year.

Best of luck

ShashayLee

in this online community you have many people in the same boat as you. I find reading posts helps keep me motivated & on track. I've started and restarted many times over the years. I restarted again back in late May & this time now i find that even if i am challenged i am able to get back on track within a few weeks, i have never done that before, this is huge for me.
I'm still allowing myself some kind of occasional treats worked into my calories. This is not a diet, it is my lifestyle change. I'm down 66 pounds now
Start now, one step at a time, one meal at a time or one day at a time, whatever works for you. Small goals is much better than thinking of the end amount

Alluminati

Try thinking of your weight in 10 lb increments. If you think of the whole picture, that's when it gets overwhelming. Go for 10 at a time. Small bites. If you don't start now, time will continue on anyway and do you really want to be in the same place a month from now?

ShashayLee

wow, very motivating posts everyone, you all have got me motivated more!
and if anyone is looking for mfp friends feel free to add me
all the best you everyone in their journey to health

CoffeeNCardio

ditsyblond17 wrote: »

Those are great ideas! Thank you!!

Sometimes it's nice to just feel like I have support. I have NO ONE supporting me in my imediate family or life. It's rather sad and pathetic. It's hard to keep going when surrounded by other fat people that don't want to change. But I need to realize, this is for me, not them! I am going to be the one happy and fit, and hopefully, I will lead by example.

Have you guys ever wondered what it's even like to be "thin"? I've never been thin in my entire 26 years of life. EVER. I can't even begin to fathom how it will feel. In a way, I'm terrified of the unknown about it too. I think that may have a lot to do with it, as well.

Remember what you said here today. When you have lost your weight (yes when), perhaps they'll see that they can too. And then you can show this to them when they ask you the same question.

WBB55

I'm the only "thin" person in my obese family. Exercise makes the difference in my gene pool (not like killing yourself at the gym, but just being active overall). But eating also contributes. I didn't have quite the same amount to lose as you, but here's what I wanted to share.

The first 30 or so is the hardest. That's when you're fighting to learn a new mindset and attitude. The next 150 are just continuing to do the same thing. Yes, it can feel like a long slog. But after the first 30-50 it just becomes your lifestyle. I found I stopped looking at the big picture of oh my god I have to keep doing this for two years, and all I thought about was today. Today I'll have oatmeal for breakfast. Today I'll walk the mall. Tonight I'll make pot roast and then ride my bike. I only had to think of today. And then after 2 years of getting through today (and of course there were birthdays and sad days in there too) one day I woke up and was a "normal" BMI.

snowflake954

If the big picture is overwhelming you---don't think about that, just start, and say "I'll see how far I can go". It's important to start. Get your digital food scale, start weighing and measuring everything and try to stay within your MFP calorie goal. Will you make a mistake? Will you backtrack? Sure. Everyone does. Just get back on track the next day and keep on truckin'. Try to move more. Walking is good to start, if you have access to a pool, swimming is easier on the joints. As you lose and feel better, you'll branch out with other exercise. People, and especially family, may say dumb things. Be prepared. Do not let them derail you. Weight loss and fitness are just small everyday things--it's not as hard as you may think. Start today, and in 2 years (which will fly by) you'll have a success story for us to read. Best of luck--and NEVER give up.

cnbbnc

Think of it this way. It may take you quite sometime to get where you want to be. Maybe it will be a couple years.... BUT....those two years are going to go by regardless, so would you prefer to be healthier/happier two years down the road, or still be where you are now and feeling bad?

The other thing I'll say is not to get too consumed by the big picture. Break your goals down. Small steps. Mini goals.

Have you looked at all the success stories on the forum here? If not, I would start looking at it. There are plenty of people who have lost considerable amounts of weight there, and I find it very inspiring.

You CAN do this. Do not for one second tell yourself you can't. Ever.

Eligis

It's not necesary to start hardcore workout from the beginning, jogging few times a week 20min in the morning more then enough to boost your metabolism. Weight loss is mostly about right nutrition, keeping it strict. P.S from personal experiance, and if you dont like feeling starving I recommend looking into ketogenic diet.

MaggotPig

Don't think of it as such a big deal. Break it down into much smaller, achievable goals. Set your MFP account up to lose 1lb a week and just make it your aim to log consistently and reach your calorie goal each day. I lost my initial 100lbs just by doing that alone. I didn't even consider exercise until I'd lost that first 100lbs. The longer you stick at it, the easier it gets. I never thought I'd do it, but I'm almost 140lbs down and about 30lbs away from my new target weight. I never, ever thought I'd be able to do it.

That being said, I had to get my depression under control and be in a place where mentally, I could start caring about myself, before I could lose the weight.

scolaris

Start where you are. Start small. Set some mini goals & give yourself small rewards along the way. Don't give away even one more day of your new life!

Kalikel

Don't start until you're ready and want to do it. Not "want to be thin" - all fat people want that! I mean that you should wait until you WANT to do the hard work of losing weight and don't care how long you'll have to do it because you intend to be thin. "If it's going to take two years, then it'll take two years. Fine. Whatever. I'm doing this." That will be your thought process.

People always do what they're most motivated to do, so if you don't want to do the hard work of losing, you won't. There is no point to going at it half-heartedly and then blaming yourself for not doing the thing you didn't really want to do in the first place. That's just you being too hard on yourself. It's not sensible or fair to you, so don't do that.

When you really WANT to do the hard work of losing weight, nothing will stop you. You'll just start doing it. And you'll be successful. Until that time comes, don't worry about it. And enjoy whatever you eat!

afatpersonwholikesfood

I want to add something that I don't think has been covered. You're going to see real benefits long before goal. Don't think about the total number. Honestly, while some would disagree, you don't have to ever hit the ideal number you may be thinking of now to make a significant difference in your health. Real science shows risk reduction with as little as 5-10% of your body weight lost. Walking daily also cuts your risks down. The little things add up, so don't get overwhelmed. You can make a big difference by small changes.

You will feel better and find a number of small NSVs along the way. Clothes, comfort, endurance, abilities, fitting into certain spaces, lab numbers like blood sugar and pressure and cholesterol if those are a problem currently, back pain, knee pain, etc. I began having subjective and measurable, medical differences (blood pressure) after just 15 pounds.

As for feeling thin, I've been my version of thin (size 12 @ 5'10") and every size above that up to 32 and 5x. I have discovered that I am the same person with the same problems. I just have more fashionable clothes, better aerobic health, a lot more comfort (it's just impossible to be comfortable in a big body - always feeling hot and squished and heavy), and less social anxiety at the smaller end of that range, but that doesn't automatically translate into a better life or relationships or overall mental health. That's a concept that I think a lot of people don't understand. They look at before photos and say that they don't know that person or they have said farewell to that person. I always get a kick out of that.

MelodyandBarbells

If you're terrified at doing it hardcore for two years. You don't necessarily have to do it hardcore, though. The changes you make will add up. Try to make them sustainable, don't overwhelm yourself

wrenak

I started keeping track of my intake on April 19th of this year. In that time I've managed to get rid of 48.6 pounds. I still have about 88 left to get into the healthy range. Not sure what my ultimate goal will be yet, but right now I'm taking it one week at a time. I already feel SO much better than I did in April. My only regret is that I didn't do this years ago! I'm 41, and I have wasted much of my youth being unhealthy, uncomfortable, and unhappy with myself. I'm done with that and am looking forward to seeing where I am when I turn 42 next August.

You CAN do this. It may take you a few (or a lot) of starts to get the hang of things, but you will get there. Don't look at the Big Picture; look at the Right Now. Start by making changes you can live with. Don't restrict so far that you feel miserable and are more likely to quit. You could start by finding your maintenance and doing that, just until you get the hang of it. Then when you're comfortable with the process, set it to lose a pound a week. Eventually you'll find the level that's comfortable for you to lose long-term without feeling deprived.

Exercise is important for health, but if you cannot yet, do not worry about it! At my heaviest I would get winded just walking three houses down to the mailbox. Losing weight just by tracking and caloric deficit for the first couple of months helped me to be able to start walking. I began by going around the block once. Then I was able to do a half mile. I kept increasing by going just far enough to feel the effort, but not so much that I wanted to give up. October 1st my husband and I walked from my house to my mom's - 5.27 miles - to pre-burn the calories I wanted to indulge in once there. When I got there I felt like I could have walked back! Glad we didn't; there's no way I could have. LOL Of course, the walk burned about 1000 calories and the sourdough pancakes and fresh fruit I had were only 310, but hey. I got to indulge a little all day long and was still at a good deficit for the day.

Anyway, to make a long story short (too late?), it is possible to go down this road. You can do it. We believe in you!

jgnatca

When you lose your first twenty pounds you will feel so much better.

Lose 30% even better still.

Even if you don't get to "thin" any losses are going to help you.

I would be scared off "hardcore" for a year or more too so why not go soft core? Make a small change until it becomes a habit then make another change.

Stanford's Chronic Disease Self Management program (8 weeks) was so helpful. It taught me to pick an issue, troubleshoot a fix, try for a week and re-evaluate. It took all the feelings of guilt and fear of failure out of it. If your life isn't working right now, try a fix.

Or you can wait like you are fifty like I did.

Or you can gain health and mobility now, giving you years of vitality and enjoyment.

PeachyCarol

No one ever climbs a mountain in one giant step, they do it the same way we all do anything: one step at a time.

I was too overwhelmed with the idea of needing to lose around 100 pounds, I simply couldn't fathom it, so I picked a goal at first that was easier for me to focus on.

I had, over the years, already implemented changes which made dieting relatively easy for me. These changes were in the form of healthy food choices and the like. The only new habits I had to learn were food portioning and exercise. I took those on one at a time and made them stick.

Then I got really hungry. I adopted some new habits (paying attention to macro partitioning for satiety, using slow, mindful eating to learn to listen to my body's hunger/fullness cues) at that point.

The thing about setting a goal to make a new habit, lose another 10 pounds, start a new exercise? Each time you achieve success in that endeavor, that little success gives you confidence to set another goal and the successes keep piling up and building on each other.... like steps on a path... until one day, you look behind you, and you realize you climbed a mountain by simply putting one foot in front of the other.

cosmichvoyager

The unknown can be scary. I don't remember being thin ever before either. I started with a goal of losing 10% of my body weight and have achieved that at least. Just focus on feeling as good as you can! Eating better and exercising makes you feel good, so embrace that.

BurnWithBarn2015

OP i am 50 and lost over 100 lbs

I am doing fine. I am happy...but

you know my biggest regret is ....why didn't i do this years sooner!

Don't let that happen to you.

Just start, it will be one day at a time. And losing one pound after another. Maybe gain some ( fluctuations dont flip over it next day the sun is shining again )

Just start believe me...in a year you will be amazed and proud of what you have done and how far you came.
You will look back and think....peanuts....



Just start!