should I keep my promise

angeleyes1978

I lost my farther in law last year a few days before he died he asked me to do something about my weight he got me to promise to but I am starting to give up what should I do.

Machka9

What do you think you should do?

AJ_G

I don't know about you and your character, but I don't take promises lightly. I don't make a promise unless I intend to see it through.

jennifer_417

Don't give up.

nutmegoreo

Why are you giving up? Is losing weight something you want to do?

ETA: It looks like you have only been logging for two days, and that your calorie goal is 1200. In my own experience, it takes at least a few weeks to get used to logging foods. Once that happens, it becomes very easy (the logging). Also, in my experience, 1200 is very challenging to do. I have chosen to lose a bit more slowly in exchange for having more food. Perhaps start by setting your weekly goal to lose 1 lb per week until you get used to logging, and also give your body a chance to adapt to the changes you are trying to make. Weight loss can be just as much emotional as it is physical. It sounds like you have an emotional connection, and that can make it more difficult.

Read some of the threads that are stickied at the top of the different forums, there is a lot of great information in them on how to log accurately, and how to set up goals that are attainable without driving yourself nuts.

Finally, reach out to people in the community here, they can be immensely helpful and informative. This doesn't have to be so difficult. There will be moments, but they get easier over time. You can do this, if you want to.

FitGamerSmoak

If you made a promise you keep the promise. He obviously wanted you to be healthy so you're around for his son. Do that. Don't give up

Christine_72

This is just not for your father in law, it's for YOU too. Lose weight so you can be the healthiest person you can be
Don't give up! You'll just have to start all over again, and maybe at a higher weight than you are now...

KateTii

What's making you want to give up? Are you hungry all the time? Are you missing eating the "old way"?

Once you realize what is making you want to give up, it's much easier to fix it. Don't let a pinhole leak sink your ship.

ncboiler89

Machka9 wrote: »

What do you think you should do?

Pretty much this.

Sued0nim

Give up / don't give up
Be fat / don't be fat
Be unfit / be fit

There are few things in life that are as directly under our personal control as weight and fitness

It's your choice. It's not an easy choice, it takes work, most things worth having do

Kalikel

The dumbest promise I ever made was to my dying mother. I only made it because it was so important to her and stressing her out while she died and I wanted her to relax on that issue. I didn't want to keep it. I tried to figure out every way possible that it would be okay to not keep it.

But in my heart of hearts, I believe that promises made to dying people really must be kept, so I kept it. It turned out to be a good thing, too, though it didn't think it would be.

Keep your promise. If losing weight is all you have to do, consider yourself lucky.

Dying people have the advantage, lol. You cannot tell them No. I must remember that if I ever know the dirt nap is coming!

MelodyandBarbells

This might not work unless you're truly committed

allenpriest

Set your calorie goal for maintenance first so that you get used to logging. You didn't get fat overnight and you won't lose it quickly. There's no rush anyway if there is no urgent health issue. You can't"diet" your way through this. You have to make a permanent change in lifestyle. But you can ease into it. Once I started at maintenance and logging I started seeing what calories I was eating and started making better choices. Over time I cut calories down to where I'm now eating for around a pound per week deficit. After 23 months I have lost 117 pounds. Only around 85-100 left to go. I figure it is another two years to go. Hey I took 25 years to get fat so I am not going to lose it quickly. Also while I was 200+pounds overweight that was too overwhelming to face. Then I realized all I needed to lose was one pound. Then I just needed to repeat that 200 times. So my goal keeps being lose the next one pound.

tahn1000

my suggestion is that you can modify your weekly weigh loss goal, so if it seems a bit overwhelming (or not enough calories to get you through the day), just lower the amount you want to lose. the good thing about calorie counting is that it takes no will power and requires no exercising. just carefully log everything you eat. and even enter early your meals so you know how much you have to play with. then your choices are as simple as "do i stay under the line or go over the line today?". just give it a try. i know that this calorie counting is the first time in my life i've been able to lose weight. i do mine in kilograms, not pounds, but there's 4 goals to choose from and i chose the second least amount. it's modest and it's been easy. i also don't stress about the 'write-off' days (parties, occasions, vacation etc) where it's pretty much a given that i will go over.

you can adjust your weight loss goal from the website. once you're on the goals page just click on 'view guided setup'.

the other thing i'm going to day is that i just eat ordinary. no high carb/low fat or low carb/high protein regimes (although for me it's the protein and fat that satisfies. other people have posted different so i think it's just about listening to your body.)

angeleyes1978

Thank you everyone for all your advice I will keep on going thanks again

amyr271

Why would you give up anyway? Even if you hadn't made the promise?

angeleyes1978

Because my husband dose not help me and he is all the time buying chocolate cakes and biscuits and soft drinks all there in front of me seeing him sitting there in front of me eating them I have to leave the room and I am getting tempted

amyr271

angeleyes1978 wrote: »

Because my husband dose not help me and he is all the time buying chocolate cakes and biscuits and soft drinks all there in front of me seeing him sitting there in front of me eating them I have to leave the room and I am getting tempted

I know how you feel, my sister and Dad are constantly bringing high calorie food into the house, however you have to just say no! Do you want that biscuit or do you want to look and feel better? I know that's difficult to consider in the moment but it's the only way!!

Or you could just work it into your diet, you don't have to cut out all the stuff that you like to lose weight. You've just gotta eat less of it. Or mention it to your husband that you are doing this for both you and your father-in-law, maybe a bit of guilt will do the trick

allenpriest

angeleyes1978 wrote: »

Because my husband dose not help me and he is all the time buying chocolate cakes and biscuits and soft drinks all there in front of me seeing him sitting there in front of me eating them I have to leave the room and I am getting tempted

Put them in the cabinet or closet. They don't have to sit on the counter. But if you are planning your eating you can eat some of that just not all of it.

jmpaterno

nutmegoreo wrote: »

Also, in my experience, 1200 is very challenging to do. I have chosen to lose a bit more slowly in exchange for having more food. Perhaps start by setting your weekly goal to lose 1 lb per week until you get used to logging, and also give your body a chance to adapt to the changes you are trying to make.

This is exactly what I came here to say! I'm 5'3" and started at 203 lbs, and I'm eating 1400 a day, losing at a nice rate, and not going crazy. Definitely up your calorie goal a bit, at least while you get used to this. Losing 1 lb a week is definitely better than overrestricting and quitting!

Need2Exerc1se

angeleyes1978 wrote: »

Because my husband dose not help me and he is all the time buying chocolate cakes and biscuits and soft drinks all there in front of me seeing him sitting there in front of me eating them I have to leave the room and I am getting tempted

Leave room for one or two each evening.

soapsandropes

Get up leave the room, do something that you enjoy instead (listen to music, read a book, go for a walk, hobby stuff, hang out with friends).

cnbbnc

I agree with increasing your calories. I assume you enjoy having the treats your husband has around (who doesn't???), so make a few fit into your daily goal! It's the best of both worlds because you can still indulge and be eating a bit more calories daily, while working on the "everything in moderation" piece of a better way of eating. No one wants to give up the things they love entirely, and they shouldn't have to. I personally make sure I have room for a dessert like treat every evening. Good luck!

tulips_and_tea

I'm generally of the opinion that your spouse shouldn't change their eating habits just because you do, but in this case it appears to be a bit insensitive of your husband to do that knowing that the promise was made to HIS father. I'm not saying your husband should stop eating those things, but I think he could do it out of sight.

daniwilford

Death bed or not, manipulation is not the best motivator. I hope you want to lose weight too. Make a list of all the reasons you want to lose weight and when there is no more wiggle room in the calorie allowance that day, review the list. I think support makes all the difference, surround yourself with supportive people. Ask your husband for help, he may be willing to keep snacks that are more difficult for you to resist out or your sight or choose ones that are less appealing to you. I have an active teen aged son who can eat more calorie dense items. He helps me by keeping things in the cupboard or closet that I do not want to eat but are tempting to me. Another trick I use is to ask him to give me just one bite or small portion and he eats the rest. I savor my small part and then I am good.

Francl27

Until you decide to do it for yourself, honestly, it will never stick.

RodaRose

Make a promise to yourself.

incisron

HUGS you can do it.

pondee629

On so many different levels, keeping your promise is the right thing to do. For the memory of your Father-in-Law, for your own physical well being and, for your mental and spiritual well being it's the right thing to do.