Vent/ kick in rear end
elphie754
Posts: 7,574 Member
I need to vent and please feel free to be harsh/not sugar coat replies because I need a reality check.
My significant other and I have made a HUGE step in our relationship, and for that I am so so excited! He moved in and a promise ring is in the picture, great right?
Well it would be if I wasn't coming up with excuse after excuse these past two or so months in regards to food and weight. In the past two months I have put back on almost 20 lbs of the 100 I have lost. I knew my weight was creeping back up (pants were tighter, belt was tighter) but I would find excuses like sodium level and I hadn't been feeling this month. I know what I need to do (get back to weighing and logging which I have recommitted to) and I have his support, just needed to vent.
My significant other and I have made a HUGE step in our relationship, and for that I am so so excited! He moved in and a promise ring is in the picture, great right?
Well it would be if I wasn't coming up with excuse after excuse these past two or so months in regards to food and weight. In the past two months I have put back on almost 20 lbs of the 100 I have lost. I knew my weight was creeping back up (pants were tighter, belt was tighter) but I would find excuses like sodium level and I hadn't been feeling this month. I know what I need to do (get back to weighing and logging which I have recommitted to) and I have his support, just needed to vent.
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Do it. NOW. I know moving in with someone who isn't watching what they eat must be hard. I mean, I struggle when I'm just visiting my boyfriend for the weekend. But it's already been 20 pounds. If you don't catch it now you'll feel even worse when it's 30, or 40.0
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arditarose wrote: »Do it. NOW. I know moving in with someone who isn't watching what they eat must be hard. I mean, I struggle when I'm just visiting my boyfriend for the weekend. But it's already been 20 pounds. If you don't catch it now you'll feel even worse when it's 30, or 40.
Exactly why I'm kicking myself in the rear now rather than waiting. Thank you!!!0 -
And think, maybe some of that 20 is water weight that will drop off kind of quickly. That will at least be motivating.0
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20 lbs in 2 months... Gaining 2.5 lbs a week is extreme and scary. Refocus on why you want to practice beneficial eating habits. And use that focus to get back into those habits...0
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I need to vent and please feel free to be harsh/not sugar coat replies because I need a reality check.
My significant other and I have made a HUGE step in our relationship, and for that I am so so excited! He moved in and a promise ring is in the picture, great right?
Well it would be if I wasn't coming up with excuse after excuse these past two or so months in regards to food and weight. In the past two months I have put back on almost 20 lbs of the 100 I have lost. I knew my weight was creeping back up (pants were tighter, belt was tighter) but I would find excuses like sodium level and I hadn't been feeling this month. I know what I need to do (get back to weighing and logging which I have recommitted to) and I have his support, just needed to vent.
People in happy relationships have a tendency to put on weight
You clearly aren't logging everything ...start again
You can happy without building your signs of love around food0 -
You caught it before it got too late. You know how to lose weight having succeeded in the past. Now get to it!
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You know how it works. If you have lost 100 pounds logging CICO..then get to it. You got this.
Better to catch it now...
When you do lose the 20 you gained,
Try maintenance logging to avoid rebounding.
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arditarose wrote: »And think, maybe some of that 20 is water weight that will drop off kind of quickly. That will at least be motivating.
I am actually really hopeful about that since it is that TOM, but not also trying to set myself up for realistic expectations.catscats222 wrote: »did you go out to eat a lot while dating?
new routine - start cooking everything at home
No. I can not eat out at all due to allergies and cook everything at home to begin with.I need to vent and please feel free to be harsh/not sugar coat replies because I need a reality check.
My significant other and I have made a HUGE step in our relationship, and for that I am so so excited! He moved in and a promise ring is in the picture, great right?
Well it would be if I wasn't coming up with excuse after excuse these past two or so months in regards to food and weight. In the past two months I have put back on almost 20 lbs of the 100 I have lost. I knew my weight was creeping back up (pants were tighter, belt was tighter) but I would find excuses like sodium level and I hadn't been feeling this month. I know what I need to do (get back to weighing and logging which I have recommitted to) and I have his support, just needed to vent.
People in happy relationships have a tendency to put on weight
You clearly aren't logging everything ...start again
You can happy without building your signs of love around food
Yes! Very happy but my logging has sucked. Even on the days I have been logging, I haven't even cared if I was in the red which needs to stop.riffraff2112 wrote: »You caught it before it got too late. You know how to lose weight having succeeded in the past. Now get to it!
Thank you!!!sunandmoons wrote: »You know how it works. If you have lost 100 pounds logging CICO..then get to it. You got this.
Better to catch it now...
When you do lose the 20 you gained,
Try maintenance logging to avoid rebounding.
I still have another 60-70 to go after losing the weight I put back on. I may try maintenance after 40 or so though to try and let my body adjust.
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yep, those men will do it to you! ha, really though it is so easy to take care of them rather than yourself. I had to learn to think about me and put myself first for a change. I had to say No to hubby especially the late night pizza and stuff like that. He likes buffets also, I had to convince him to go somewhere else.0
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brenn24179 wrote: »yep, those men will do it to you! ha, really though it is so easy to take care of them rather than yourself. I had to learn to think about me and put myself first for a change. I had to say No to hubby especially the late night pizza and stuff like that. He likes buffets also, I had to convince him to go somewhere else.
Funny part is my guy doesn't constantly eat at all. It's been just me stuffing my face lol.0 -
It all boils down to one thing.............................just doing it. You don't need to be educated on this, you just need to act.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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Stuffing your face when you know better is not LOL.It's sad & depressing.
Are you trying to run your guy off?
So many of us,me included think you really have it made,losing 100 pds. Good for you!
You need to dig down deep & find out why you want to gain that 100 back. JMO0 -
I know, and after seeing that number on the scale, I am ready to go back to losing.It all boils down to one thing.............................just doing it. You don't need to be educated on this, you just need to act.
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutritionStuffing your face when you know better is not LOL.It's sad & depressing.
Are you trying to run your guy off?
So many of us,me included think you really have it made,losing 100 pds. Good for you!
You need to dig down deep & find out why you want to gain that 100 back. JMO
I know I asked for harsh reality checks but this is a bit uncalled for. I obviously don't WANT to gain the weight back, and could have done with out the accusation of trying to push my guy away.0 -
Here is something I think you need to add to what others have said! You need to build up your own personally self esteem. Too many look for a friend or mate to do this for them. That is incredibly dangerous(not saying that this is what you are doing either). When we feel empowered particularly us women our cortisol count drops this is huge because this is a huge hormone that has been proven scientifically to cause weight gain when it is out of it's healthy boundary.May I just say that I am majorly proud of the fact that you are mindful enough to be courageous and see where the problem lies and seek guidance from total strangers to improve. Brava! Get back to logging adn you will feel better. You are totally in control of you!You got this!
http://liveboldandbloom.com/09/quotes/positive-affirmations0 -
Stuffing your face when you know better is not LOL.It's sad & depressing.
Are you trying to run your guy off?
So many of us,me included think you really have it made,losing 100 pds. Good for you!
You need to dig down deep & find out why you want to gain that 100 back. JMO
not all men are superficial shallow jerks who will "run" if their woman gains wait. that was so uncalled for. Thanks for reminding me to have such a loving guy who LOVES me and isn't just with me for looks.
edited because "their"0 -
Can you talk to him about this? Maybe you can switch up some habits together. Dancing class, cooking class, trying new recipes, exercising together?
Honestly, this is why I'm single. I need to find someone who makes health a priority; who's willing to work on it together.0 -
Can you talk to him about this? Maybe you can switch up some habits together. Dancing class, cooking class, trying new recipes, exercising together?
Honestly, this is why I'm single. I need to find someone who makes health a priority; who's willing to work on it together.
Could I? Yes. Do I want to? No. This is my journey. I have been on it since before I met him and it is my responsibility.0 -
It is your responsibility, but that doesn't mean he can't have a part in it. You're becoming life partners, after all. Mutual love, mutual support. Involving him won't mean you aren't the driving force any longer or that you're abdicating your control.0
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It is your responsibility, but that doesn't mean he can't have a part in it. You're becoming life partners, after all. Mutual love, mutual support. Involving him won't mean you aren't the driving force any longer or that you're abdicating your control.
He knows my goals and does support me, but he also knows I need to do this on my own. I have a history of an eating disorder (years ago and haven't acted upon it in years) but ba trigger for me is when people get too involved in my eating habits. I start to hide/sneak binges.0 -
It is your responsibility, but that doesn't mean he can't have a part in it. You're becoming life partners, after all. Mutual love, mutual support. Involving him won't mean you aren't the driving force any longer or that you're abdicating your control.
He knows my goals and does support me, but he also knows I need to do this on my own. I have a history of an eating disorder (years ago and haven't acted upon it in years) but ba trigger for me is when people get too involved in my eating habits. I start to hide/sneak binges.
Oh, ok. I was wondering the same as she was because - what changed recently? And how can you create an environment where you're more consistent with your habits and more successful.0 -
What changed was he moved in.It is your responsibility, but that doesn't mean he can't have a part in it. You're becoming life partners, after all. Mutual love, mutual support. Involving him won't mean you aren't the driving force any longer or that you're abdicating your control.
He knows my goals and does support me, but he also knows I need to do this on my own. I have a history of an eating disorder (years ago and haven't acted upon it in years) but ba trigger for me is when people get too involved in my eating habits. I start to hide/sneak binges.
Oh, ok. I was wondering the same as she was because - what changed recently? And how can you create an environment where you're more consistent with your habits and more successful.
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Make a plan. See it through.
Literally the answer to ALL life's problems.0 -
What changed was he moved in.It is your responsibility, but that doesn't mean he can't have a part in it. You're becoming life partners, after all. Mutual love, mutual support. Involving him won't mean you aren't the driving force any longer or that you're abdicating your control.
He knows my goals and does support me, but he also knows I need to do this on my own. I have a history of an eating disorder (years ago and haven't acted upon it in years) but ba trigger for me is when people get too involved in my eating habits. I start to hide/sneak binges.
Oh, ok. I was wondering the same as she was because - what changed recently? And how can you create an environment where you're more consistent with your habits and more successful.
You said he doesn't eat constantly or anything. Why have your habits changed due to his move in?
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Stuffing your face when you know better is not LOL.It's sad & depressing.
Are you trying to run your guy off?
So many of us,me included think you really have it made,losing 100 pds. Good for you!
You need to dig down deep & find out why you want to gain that 100 back. JMO
Lol, if he ran off because she gained 20lbs then he better not let the door hit him in the *kitten* on the way out!
OP, well done for losing 100lbs!!!!! Your back on this now and will make those 20lbs just a blip. Enjoy your very bright future together
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What changed was he moved in.It is your responsibility, but that doesn't mean he can't have a part in it. You're becoming life partners, after all. Mutual love, mutual support. Involving him won't mean you aren't the driving force any longer or that you're abdicating your control.
He knows my goals and does support me, but he also knows I need to do this on my own. I have a history of an eating disorder (years ago and haven't acted upon it in years) but ba trigger for me is when people get too involved in my eating habits. I start to hide/sneak binges.
Oh, ok. I was wondering the same as she was because - what changed recently? And how can you create an environment where you're more consistent with your habits and more successful.
And you are spending more time with him and not logging? That's natural, but I think it will be even harder for people like you and me to pay attention to our needs over our SOs. When I committed to logging in April, I explained the whole I have a calorie budget and need to spend time logging my food so I don't go over my budget thing to my fiance. I see him four times per week and prelog as much as possible so this doesn't interfere with our time.0 -
RuNaRoUnDaFiEld wrote: »Stuffing your face when you know better is not LOL.It's sad & depressing.
Are you trying to run your guy off?
So many of us,me included think you really have it made,losing 100 pds. Good for you!
You need to dig down deep & find out why you want to gain that 100 back. JMO
Lol, if he ran off because she gained 20lbs then he better not let the door hit him in the *kitten* on the way out!
OP, well done for losing 100lbs!!!!! Your back on this now and will make those 20lbs just a blip. Enjoy your very bright future together
I agree lol. He has told me a few times my weight has no barring on us as a couple.kshama2001 wrote: »
What changed was he moved in.It is your responsibility, but that doesn't mean he can't have a part in it. You're becoming life partners, after all. Mutual love, mutual support. Involving him won't mean you aren't the driving force any longer or that you're abdicating your control.
He knows my goals and does support me, but he also knows I need to do this on my own. I have a history of an eating disorder (years ago and haven't acted upon it in years) but ba trigger for me is when people get too involved in my eating habits. I start to hide/sneak binges.
Oh, ok. I was wondering the same as she was because - what changed recently? And how can you create an environment where you're more consistent with your habits and more successful.
And you are spending more time with him and not logging? That's natural, but I think it will be even harder for people like you and me to pay attention to our needs over our SOs. When I committed to logging in April, I explained the whole I have a calorie budget and need to spend time logging my food so I don't go over my budget thing to my fiance. I see him four times per week and prelog as much as possible so this doesn't interfere with our time.
More so I got lazy with weighing food since I was cooking for both and it was easier not to log.0 -
Time to re:up is NOW! You are starting a fabulous new chapter in your life. Build the healthy habits in from day one. You might be feeling a little overwhelmed, a little generalized anxiety... (Even when changes are happyhappyhappy, I for one can still feel very off balance during transitions!)
All the more reason to make health routines a touchstone.
This isn't about a number on a scale or or the waistband of your jeans. Seeing to your own personal, professional, physical, and spiritual goals & needs ensures you remain a fascinating, multidimensional, vibrant life partner.0 -
You don't need harshness sweetie you need hugs and encouragement... You've got this!0
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