I've gone all wibbly wobbly! :D

purpleflux · November 2015

I've been meaning to lose weight for many years, but was daunted by the prospect of losing 85lb - the time it would take, the miserable diet, and the constant miserable thinking about food. Also, all the numbers - I have dyscalculia, so calorie counting and working out what was in things was a scary headache to me. I'd done diets before and they never stuck.

Then my back flared up really badly, and I knew my doc would mention weight, so I thought I should see what it was. I think I'd deluded myself into being able to say 'my weight hasn't changed, it's not that'. But then I got on the scales at the end of August this year. I'd hit 18 stone. I was horrified. So that very day I made changes. I remembered a friend recommended MFP a while back, and so I looked into it with more seriousness this time, and I liked what I saw, with the whole CICO and not depriving yourself of nice things, just have them as treats in moderation. And the killer was the app did all the damn maths for me.

Now I've lost not only that sneaky 13lb that crept up on me, but I've also lost a whole 14lb on top of that. I'm just 1lb shy of the 2 stone mark, a third of the way to my goal weight of 12 stone. This is major for me. Previous attempts have last less than a month. As of writing this, I'm 78 days logged into MFP with no loss of enthusiasm or despair.

It's been a really interesting journey. My back doesn't give out any more, and I'm more brutally honest with myself about how I hid behind being fat and how that couldn't possible be the problem with my health, even if I wasn't aware of it. It was a coping mechanism, but not one I need any more. I'm type 1 diabetic, and my sugars have been lower than they have in years, my asthma is diminishing, and I know there's a back problem there, but the loss of weight so far has meant it only twinges. I don't get crippled by it walking around a supermarket anymore.

I got prompted to post this now, because I just had a shower. I looked down, and my belly was all wibbly wobbly and lumpy like abused dough, and that made me happy (along with the fact the regular towel is now plenty big enough rather than the bath sheet). Because my stomach is shrinking (along with other areas!), and all these lumps and dips and pliable skin is proof that this is working, that I CAN get there, even if the idea of me being thin seems utterly alien at this point. But I can feel my skeleton under the flab, and recognise it's a normal skeleton, same as anyone else's, and so if so many others who weighed even more than me can get there, I can too. I can't picture myself thin, I've never been there. But I'm excited to find out what I'll look like at the end of the weight loss part of my journey.

Reading these forums has been an incredible source of information and support. Because of you all, I knew to buy a scale and weigh my food, to not weigh myself every day, and to not get disappointed when it seems the scales haven't moved, because that's normal. So, thank you to everyone here sharing their advice and support with fellow MFP peeps, for helping me get this far. You're all amazing.