Anyone else have issues with their spouse and weight loss?

ahoy_m8

Not sure if this anecdote is encouraging or not. When first married, DH talked often about wanting to lose weight but didn't take action. I often gain a few in summer then lose them in the fall, and several times I told him I was going to lose 5 and invited him to join me. He always said yes but didn't mean it--didn't stick to exercise, overate, etc. I just did my own thing. About 5 years later, he said he was ready to do it and asked for my help. He lost 35 and has kept it off 3 years and counting.

The point is, people just have to come to it on their own time. I agree stress is a huge factor in having the fortitude and emotional energy to make diet/exercise changes. Do your own thing. Ask for help when you need it. Good luck to you.

stealthq

jgnatca wrote: »

_Justinian_ wrote: »

kisses71213 wrote: »

If you want your wife to lose weight you better pamper her royally, compliment the hell out of her, make her feel special and cook for her healthy foods and take her on long romantic walks..... then she'll get skinny as hell!

This is how I will treat my wife when (or if) I get married. Except for the long romantic walks...I'd rather go hiking. lol

Duh....you tell her it's a long romantic walk, and remind her to wear her hiking boots.

+1

Make sure to plan some kind of pleasant sight - body of water, forest, mountains, sunset, yada. Makes for a nicer hike anyway

ninerbuff

Brocksterdanza wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

Brocksterdanza wrote: »

I would like some kind advice from you all on this matter..... I am a football coach and during the season, i am a major stress eater... I am not a drinker, smoker, drug taker, etc.... Stress eating is my thing.... However, during this time, my wife almost fuels it by bringing nasty stuff into the house all the time.... even though i ask her to help me out by not getting terrible foods... I am not strong enough to say no and it just compounds on me.

I am in fear that as time goes, her lack of commitment to lifelong nutrition and exercise is going ot be a problem for us. I am in the process of getting my weight off and she has the intentions of getting to the gym, going to a class, walking the neighborhood etc, but she is always too tired or not in the mood to go.

Im sure i am not the only person that has been through this..... What can i do to insure we get through this together and i can get us both on the right track?

Thanks everyone!

If you had a player that complained that all his family were unsupportive of his efforts regardless of success, what would be your advice to him?

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Find a positive support group (which would include me) to work though the problems with him.... Surround himself with folks that are a good influence, etc..... Kinda what i tried to do here..... I thought that this would be the perfect place to come for advice as i am sure i wasnt the only husband or wife to ever go through this. And for the most part, it has been great, some give advice in a degrading demeanor, etc.... But that is a part of life, some believe in tough love and the "in your face" approach. But as a teacher and coach, i know this approach doesnt work for everyone. It doesnt work for me.

I hope that has answered your question...

If for some reason he couldn't get positive reenforement and support and had to go it alone, then what would be your advice?

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

RodaRose

Marriages go through ins and outs with regard to how connected they are to each other through fitness and diet.
Right now hubby likes his workouts and likes his food and treats and eats more calories than he needs.
He's happy. That's what matters.

_Justinian_

stealthq wrote: »

jgnatca wrote: »

_Justinian_ wrote: »

kisses71213 wrote: »

If you want your wife to lose weight you better pamper her royally, compliment the hell out of her, make her feel special and cook for her healthy foods and take her on long romantic walks..... then she'll get skinny as hell!

This is how I will treat my wife when (or if) I get married. Except for the long romantic walks...I'd rather go hiking. lol

Duh....you tell her it's a long romantic walk, and remind her to wear her hiking boots.

+1

Make sure to plan some kind of pleasant sight - body of water, forest, mountains, sunset, yada. Makes for a nicer hike anyway

I'll keep that in mind. haha

kshama2001

rabbitjb wrote: »

Brocksterdanza wrote: »

ninerbuff wrote: »

Brocksterdanza wrote: »

I would like some kind advice from you all on this matter..... I am a football coach and during the season, i am a major stress eater... I am not a drinker, smoker, drug taker, etc.... Stress eating is my thing.... However, during this time, my wife almost fuels it by bringing nasty stuff into the house all the time.... even though i ask her to help me out by not getting terrible foods... I am not strong enough to say no and it just compounds on me.

I am in fear that as time goes, her lack of commitment to lifelong nutrition and exercise is going ot be a problem for us. I am in the process of getting my weight off and she has the intentions of getting to the gym, going to a class, walking the neighborhood etc, but she is always too tired or not in the mood to go.

Im sure i am not the only person that has been through this..... What can i do to insure we get through this together and i can get us both on the right track?

Thanks everyone!

If you had a player that complained that all his family were unsupportive of his efforts regardless of success, what would be your advice to him?

A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Find a positive support group (which would include me) to work though the problems with him.... Surround himself with folks that are a good influence, etc..... Kinda what i tried to do here..... I thought that this would be the perfect place to come for advice as i am sure i wasnt the only husband or wife to ever go through this. And for the most part, it has been great, some give advice in a degrading demeanor, etc.... But that is a part of life, some believe in tough love and the "in your face" approach. But as a teacher and coach, i know this approach doesnt work for everyone. It doesnt work for me.

I hope that has answered your question...

I think this is directly contradictory to your opening post where you sound as though your marriage is at risk because of her lack of commitment to your health goals

This also jars with your definition of self as an amazingly hands on husband and father

I'd be interested in her perspective on this tbh

I saw two things in the OP:
1. Him not being happy about her bringing his trigger foods into the house
2. His concern about her lack of commitment to her own health goals

You can love someone very much but yet their poor health and unwillingness to do anything about it creates a big strain on the relationship. Sounds like this relationship is not at that point, but he is concerned about getting there down the road.