I don't know what to think.
SillaWinchester
Posts: 363 Member
I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
I'm tired of getting called names and given words other than support just because my situation is different. I thought we were all supposed to be here and give a helping hand because we all know what it's like to be pushed down?
I am complaining, I know, and I'm sorry. But I just need supportive people around me. Not bullies.
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
I'm tired of getting called names and given words other than support just because my situation is different. I thought we were all supposed to be here and give a helping hand because we all know what it's like to be pushed down?
I am complaining, I know, and I'm sorry. But I just need supportive people around me. Not bullies.
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Replies
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If anything, the internet is worse than real life. O.o0
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the forums are a place for people who are unhappy with themselves to make others feel just as bad. ignore the naysayers ,and seek out the good advice. i've learned a lot more just from reading articles online. find some supportive friends, and stay off the negative boards.0
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Some of us have it harder/easier than others, and we can't change our circumstances. It just makes it that much sweeter in the end if you have greater circumstances to overcome. No one should be putting you down because of your circumstances and if they are, I'm very sorry, that's awful. In the end, no matter what your circumstances, it all comes down to the little choices that you make every day, and it really comes down to how much of a priority it is in your life at this moment. If you do not think you have the will to get yourself fit right now, that's completely fine, don't feel bad about it. If you do however think you can be in the mindset to eat the way you need to to lose weight, then go for it with everything you've got. In the end it all comes down to you. Good luck.0
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Don't worry about pessimistic people, do the best with what you have. We all SHOULD be trying to encourage others not pot them down. So sorry for the creeps who made you feel bad but there are motivational people on here as well that want you to succeed:) I am one of them. Sending you a friend invite0
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some people are just *kitten*. Dont worry about what they say. Try to stay under your calorie target each day and be as active as possible. Its OK to have Ice Cream... Just try to make it fit in your calories for the day. The fact that you are on MFP means that you are doing something to fix the problem!
I give you major props for helping out your family financially and by watching your brother.
Just tell all the negative people to shove it!0 -
Yeah, this forum is full of people like that. They do try to justify themselves, but it's rather weak. I'm sorry this is not a great place for support unless you're doing everything each one of the forum self-proclaimed "experts" say.0
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If anything, the internet is worse than real life. O.o0
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so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
there's nothing wrong with that at all! I lost 50 lbs with the only exercise being elliptical. I've since moved on to running and other forms, but when I first started losing, the elliptical is what I used... religiously and exclusively. All that matters is you get your heart rate up.
As for the ice cream - I can't help you there. I get that it's hard to say no, but would talking to your family about maybe NOT having it in the house so often help? I know how families can be, especially if they aren't trying to lose weight. Or maybe opt for brands that are more healthy for you? These are pretty good - I love them: http://sodeliciousdairyfree.com/products/coconut-milk-frozen-desserts Frozen ice cream bars also help with portion control - you allow yourself one and that's your serving. I find if I eat ice cream, I'm more lible to over eat because I can scoop out as much as I want. Just some suggestions.0 -
First and foremost kuddos to you for helping with your brother with Autism. I know first hand how difficult it can be as a parent of 2 childrern with Autism and can only imagine how difficult it can be as a sibling. Don't let others discourage you from your journey. You focus on yourself and let people talk. People will always have something negative to say and at the end of the day you are the only one who truly knows what you are capable of doing. Keep your head up and dont allow anyone to discourage you.
I will friend request you0 -
If anything, the internet is worse than real life. O.o
this.0 -
This is the same post.... just in different words. I think we'll # this one 10456837
Grow a thicker skin. Stop paying attention to negative peeps... you are here to work on you right? So surround yourself with positive people.
It's hard to stop everyone... why even put the effort towards it0 -
There are a lot of jerk know it alls on this site but also a lot of nice caring smart people who have helped me a lot. I just ignore the jerks and read all the stuff those supportive good people have to offer! Glad I did not quit because of the jerks.0
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I enjoy the forums and skip over the less than nice posts but I understand how you could take some of them personally and they can be hurtful.
My suggestion would be to friend some good supportive people and stay away from the forums. Use your home page to solicit advice and support. Then you have some control over the feedback you get. If you get someone who is bullying you, simply unfriend them! Feel free to friend me if you'd like.
Props to you for all you do at age 19. Don't think this is impossible for you, you just may need to be more creative than some of us.0 -
If anything, the internet is worse than real life. O.o
Yah, what she said and I'm gonna add a little dose of 'man the heck up'. You obviously know life can suck, why on earth would you let others bring you down - sounds like you can't get much lower. Become friends with supportive people and ignore the rest.
This is a lesson you should really learn quickly or you won't survive in the real world let alone the anonymous world of Internet forums.
And with all due respect, I would tell you this to your face. You have accomplished a lot and there is nothing wrong with how you are doing it as long as you are doing it.0 -
I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
You are joking right? No one is going to seriously tell you, and mean it, that you are lazy because you worked out inside because you are baby sitting. That's like what at least half of the moms on MFP have to do!
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
also *raises hand* i'm financially challenged...as are a lot of people on MFP. It's FREE afterall.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
will power. you have to get it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
you are totally making excuses and being lazy. sorry but getting in shape does not require a big gym membership and a personal trainer and someone to cook your meals for you. It takes just a little bit of information (which you DO have as an MFP member) and just a little bit of will power.
I lost 50 lbs without a gym membership or any gadgets. I went running- 20 minutes a day. I used MFP to figure out how much of what to eat. I stopped eating ice cream. I pretty much guarantee that there are people who don't have the resources YOU have who have been able to make a healthy lifestyle change.
ETA: I'm really supportive but I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, recognize that it's hard for a lot of people on MFP who don't have lots of money and have kids, and don't let your status as an average person with typical life stuff (bills and family that need help) keep you feeling sorry for yourself.0 -
This is the same post.... just in different words. I think we'll # this one 10456837
Grow a thicker skin. Stop paying attention to negative peeps... you are here to work on you right? So surround yourself with positive people.
It's hard to stop everyone... why even put the effort towards it0 -
I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
You are joking right? No one is going to seriously tell you, and mean it, that you are lazy because you worked out inside because you are baby sitting. That's like what at least half of the moms on MFP have to do!
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
also *raises hand* i'm financially challenged...as are a lot of people on MFP. It's FREE afterall.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
will power. you have to get it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
you are totally making excuses and being lazy. sorry but getting in shape does not require a big gym membership and a personal trainer and someone to cook your meals for you. It takes just a little bit of information (which you DO have as an MFP member) and just a little bit of will power.
I lost 50 lbs without a gym membership or any gadgets. I went running- 20 minutes a day. I used MFP to figure out how much of what to eat. I stopped eating ice cream. I pretty much guarantee that there are people who don't have the resources YOU have who have been able to make a healthy lifestyle change.
ETA: I'm really supportive but I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, recognize that it's hard for a lot of people on MFP who don't have lots of money and have kids, and don't let your status as an average person with typical life stuff (bills and family that need help) keep you feeling sorry for yourself.0 -
I mean... really...when people say it is better to run outside than to run a treadmill they aren't saying "you are such a loser working out inside on a treadmill! Waste of time!"
I mean. Geez. You even HAVE a stationary bike and an elliptical in your house. That's more than I could afford when I was losing my weight.
I am just having a #firstworldproblems moment.0 -
I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
You are joking right? No one is going to seriously tell you, and mean it, that you are lazy because you worked out inside because you are baby sitting. That's like what at least half of the moms on MFP have to do!
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
also *raises hand* i'm financially challenged...as are a lot of people on MFP. It's FREE afterall.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
will power. you have to get it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
you are totally making excuses and being lazy. sorry but getting in shape does not require a big gym membership and a personal trainer and someone to cook your meals for you. It takes just a little bit of information (which you DO have as an MFP member) and just a little bit of will power.
I lost 50 lbs without a gym membership or any gadgets. I went running- 20 minutes a day. I used MFP to figure out how much of what to eat. I stopped eating ice cream. I pretty much guarantee that there are people who don't have the resources YOU have who have been able to make a healthy lifestyle change.
ETA: I'm really supportive but I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, recognize that it's hard for a lot of people on MFP who don't have lots of money and have kids, and don't let your status as an average person with typical life stuff (bills and family that need help) keep you feeling sorry for yourself.
No, she shouldnt go away. All of her points are valid. It does not cost money or require special equipment to lose weight. Sometimes these comments seem negative to those who don't want to hear it, but its true. I am a single mom of two and I have lost over 115 pounds. I am beyond broke, I have no time to myself, no gym membership and no equipment really besides some dumbbells. I dont get to eat special diet foods really, I have to eat what my kids like because I can't afford to buy us seperate meals. I had to overcome the many YEARS worth of excuses that I was hanging on to before I started getting anywhere. Because we do all convince ourself that ours "arent excuses" but at the end of the day, they are.
I am not saying that is is totally your fault that you aren't fully motivated yet. yes, look for support to help you on your journey, but at the end of the day it comes down to how DEDICATED you are. If you know the ice cream won;t fit in your calories, but you eat it anyway, saying 'well it was there because my family likes it" is definitely an excuse.
I am supportive, I know Corvus is supportive and is one of my biggest motivators because she is a prime example that it takes hard work and dedication to meet your goals, but anyone can do it if they TRY and leave the excuses behind!
good luck and I know that if you stay focused, you will get there, just keep your mind on what you really want!:flowerforyou:0 -
Dum Dum Dum Dum....here come the jerks....sorry sweetie looks like they are going to follow you, the great thing about or human mind is wee don't have to pay attention. And you will likely never meat the bullies in real life so ignore them....0
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I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
You are joking right? No one is going to seriously tell you, and mean it, that you are lazy because you worked out inside because you are baby sitting. That's like what at least half of the moms on MFP have to do!
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
also *raises hand* i'm financially challenged...as are a lot of people on MFP. It's FREE afterall.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
will power. you have to get it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
you are totally making excuses and being lazy. sorry but getting in shape does not require a big gym membership and a personal trainer and someone to cook your meals for you. It takes just a little bit of information (which you DO have as an MFP member) and just a little bit of will power.
I lost 50 lbs without a gym membership or any gadgets. I went running- 20 minutes a day. I used MFP to figure out how much of what to eat. I stopped eating ice cream. I pretty much guarantee that there are people who don't have the resources YOU have who have been able to make a healthy lifestyle change.
ETA: I'm really supportive but I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, recognize that it's hard for a lot of people on MFP who don't have lots of money and have kids, and don't let your status as an average person with typical life stuff (bills and family that need help) keep you feeling sorry for yourself.
No, she shouldnt go away. All of her points are valid. It does not cost money or require special equipment to lose weight. Sometimes these comments seem negative to those who don't want to hear it, but its true. I am a single mom of two and I have lost over 115 pounds. I am beyond broke, I have no time to myself, no gym membership and no equipment really besides some dumbbells. I dont get to eat special diet foods really, I have to eat what my kids like because I can't afford to buy us seperate meals. I had to overcome the many YEARS worth of excuses that I was hanging on to before I started getting anywhere. Because we do all convince ourself that ours "arent excuses" but at the end of the day, they are.
I am not saying that is is totally your fault that you aren't fully motivated yet. yes, look for support to help you on your journey, but at the end of the day it comes down to how DEDICATED you are. If you know the ice cream won;t fit in your calories, but you eat it anyway, saying 'well it was there because my family likes it" is definitely an excuse.
I am supportive, I know Corvus is supportive and is one of my biggest motivators because she is a prime example that it takes hard work and dedication to meet your goals, but anyone can do it if they TRY and leave the excuses behind!
good luck and I know that if you stay focused, you will get there, just keep your mind on what you really want!:flowerforyou:
thank you.
I was a single mother on welfare who had to put myself through graduate school by working at the same time.
Most of my weight was lost by just watching my portions, making slight adjustments in how I ate, and running outside because I couldn't afford a gym membership or a treadmill. I would incorporate my child into my exercise as much as possible because it was the only way. I didn't have anyone to baby sit him. I just had to make it work.
And you don't have to give up ice cream, you just have to balance it out with everything else. Maybe a smaller portion with an extra ten minutes on the elliptical.
You do have what it takes is what I'm saying. And I know it's frustrating when you are comparing yourself to someone who has a private chef and their own entire gym in their house and lots of leisure time....but you are just beating yourself up instead of focusing on what you CAN do.0 -
Dum Dum Dum Dum....here come the jerks....sorry sweetie looks like they are going to follow you, the great thing about or human mind is wee don't have to pay attention. And you will likely never meat the bullies in real life so ignore them....
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@alisaprince1
I don't understand how you can call these folks jerks and bullies. They are trying to be helpful by giving a different perspective and some tough love.0 -
I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
You are joking right? No one is going to seriously tell you, and mean it, that you are lazy because you worked out inside because you are baby sitting. That's like what at least half of the moms on MFP have to do!
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
also *raises hand* i'm financially challenged...as are a lot of people on MFP. It's FREE afterall.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
will power. you have to get it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
you are totally making excuses and being lazy. sorry but getting in shape does not require a big gym membership and a personal trainer and someone to cook your meals for you. It takes just a little bit of information (which you DO have as an MFP member) and just a little bit of will power.
I lost 50 lbs without a gym membership or any gadgets. I went running- 20 minutes a day. I used MFP to figure out how much of what to eat. I stopped eating ice cream. I pretty much guarantee that there are people who don't have the resources YOU have who have been able to make a healthy lifestyle change.
ETA: I'm really supportive but I think you need to stop feeling sorry for yourself, recognize that it's hard for a lot of people on MFP who don't have lots of money and have kids, and don't let your status as an average person with typical life stuff (bills and family that need help) keep you feeling sorry for yourself.
NO
she is right. stop making excuses and do what you can...dont worry about the things you cannot control.
sometimes it isnt easy to hear, but it is worth hearing.0 -
I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
I'm tired of getting called names and given words other than support just because my situation is different. I thought we were all supposed to be here and give a helping hand because we all know what it's like to be pushed down?
I am complaining, I know, and I'm sorry. But I just need supportive people around me. Not bullies.
Umm...you could move out and start an adult life of your own, instead of supporting other people?0 -
Thank you for all the kind words. I am not gonna lie, I cried a bit. Support and motivation are an amazing thing.
On a side note, comments like "grow a thicker skin" and "stop feeling sorry for yourself.. you are being lazy" blah blah are the EXACT sort of comments that drew me to write this post.
But you know what? (And this is just a recap) I'm NOT being lazy and I DON'T feel sorry for myself. The point of this post was to show the people that write those comments that as much as those sort of words bring me down, I still keep on truckin'.
I DO my workouts at home because that's all I can do. I didn't say I sit down and do nothing. I DO eat as healthy as I can given the circumstances. I didn't say I don't have the money so I don't try. I DON'T feel sorry for myself having obstacles, I vent about them for a second to get it out of my system, then I knock the crap out of those obstacles.
So yeah, I guess the lesson is think before you speak. Sorry if that sounds rude, but rude commenters obviously don't care so why should I?
I'm done. I've been through so much that I don't need a person on the other side of the screen bringing me down.
Thanks a million to all those who understand and support!0 -
I'm starting to feel like MFP is just as bad as the "real world". There's just as many bullies here as in real life. There's just as many people who think they're better because they're down to their fit and you're not. There's just as many people who try to convince you that every set back in life is just an excuse you throw to be lazy .
That's great that you can go for a walk/run/bike around your neighborhood to get exercise but I can't. I have to babysit my younger autistic brother almost all day and night so I have to resort to the elliptical and stationary bike.
That's great that you can afford any supplies you need for a healthy life but my families money is stretched and I don't get control over it. I don't get much control over my own money because I help with bills.
That's great that you have will power but I don't. My family likes ice cream so it's in the house a lot and I have problems resisting it.
My point, if I can even explain it, is that I am a 19 year old girl that can't do things the way you can. I'm not making excuses nor am I being lazy, I just don't have the resources.
I'm tired of getting called names and given words other than support just because my situation is different. I thought we were all supposed to be here and give a helping hand because we all know what it's like to be pushed down?
I am complaining, I know, and I'm sorry. But I just need supportive people around me. Not bullies.
Umm...you could move out and start an adult life of your own, instead of supporting other people?
That sounds like the ideal option but it simply isn't an option for me. I'm not going to leave my mom with a pile of bills and an autistic child home alone while she works 24/7.0 -
I mean... really...when people say it is better to run outside than to run a treadmill they aren't saying "you are such a loser working out inside on a treadmill! Waste of time!"
I mean. Geez. You even HAVE a stationary bike and an elliptical in your house. That's more than I could afford when I was losing my weight.
I am just having a #firstworldproblems moment.
The person who told me to run outside instead of in said I need to get my act together and stop being lazy. Close enough.
I got the stationary bike and elliptical from my neighbor who has bad hips and can't use them.0 -
Making excuses is exactly what you are doing. Get on the exercise bike. Do some push ups, some planks. Take your brother for walks. Eat smaller amounts of ice cream. If you want it bad enough you just have to do it in-spite of all the challenges you have in life. It's not easy for most of us. And you are 19. Your life is just going to get more hectic and stressful. You've just got to learn to make health a priority.0
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Ok, here is my point, not that most of you will care lol, but, the girl has obviously already been told all of this by people maybe not even as"kind"as you, she is probably (I am just guessing).in a state of depression in which man up, grow thick skin, your being lazy..... All would sound pretty negative and ugly. Especially over a computer screen. You may have good intentions but if you twirly cared about this girl you might just refrain from any"tough love"for the moment and give get advice as a few others did without the get a life attitude...just sayin'.0
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