Weighting Game: On Keeping a Promise I Made to Myself 40 lbs. Ago

gennaclaire

When I started out this year—overweight and disillusioned yet somehow determined to make a change—I promised myself one thing: If I hit my goal weight, I will post a picture online of myself in a bikini.

I couldn’t tell you why this motivated me. Perhaps since the dawning days of Facebook, I’d seen other women my age boldly share photos at the beach, on the lake, in the pool, or simply modeling teeny-weeny polka dot bikinis in their mirrors at home. I’d envied their curves and their confidence, their flat stomachs and slender thighs.

Unlike these women, I’ve never been comfortable in a two-piece swimsuit. Being at the beach meant hours spent trying to figure out how to sit in a chair while hiding my stomach at the same time. It meant sucking in and being as absolutely still as possible. It meant feeling my thighs rub, butt jiggle, and belly bounce for all to see as I walked down the sand.

So this year, when January rolled around, I decided for the ga-zillionth time to lose weight. I didn’t want the decision to feel like a fad diet or a weight loss scheme or a New Year’s resolution, so instead, I called it an opportunity.

When I first passed on bacon-garnished bloody marys and gravy-smothered biscuits during a Sunday brunch and my friends cocked their heads in disbelief, I explained, “I have an opportunity…to take better care of myself this year. I’m giving it a shot.”

And just like that, opportunity became my mantra.

This year, I’ve had the opportunity to choose salads over spicy chicken sandwiches. The opportunity to go for a walk, a jog, a run. The opportunity to invest time each day into myself. And the opportunity to feel proud when I go to sleep each night.

I marked successful gym days off on my calendar, tracked food with MyFitnessPal, monitored my heart rate with a Fitbit, only allowed myself on the scale on Wednesday mornings, and measured my red wine pours by the ounce. Some days I went decidedly off the rails, but I quickly got back on—always with the echoes of opportunity encouraging me forward.

By August, I’d lowered my blood pressure to healthy levels I hadn’t seen in years. I watched my BMI drop from “overweight” to “normal.” I went from a snug size 8 to a roomy size 4. And I lost a total of 40 pounds.

Now it’s November and the opportunity continues, although in a different capacity. Today, I have the opportunity to be strong, the opportunity to live life more comfortably—more fully, and the opportunity to love me, every day, both inside and out.

And today, I decided I would keep the promise I made to myself in January—even though I don’t even fully understand why I made it to begin with—and post a photo of myself in a bikini.

Maybe just because I can. Maybe because I think I’ve earned it. Maybe I just want to know what in the world it feels like. Or maybe somewhere inside I know that if I never did anything that made me uncomfortable, I’d still be 40 pounds heavier and already dreading the summer of 2016.

So here’s to pushing ourselves out of our comfort zones…


BEFORE:






TODAY:

cds_momto3

You look AMAZING, and I love your story. I like thinking of it as opportunity to change!

gennaclaire

Thank you so much! I found that shift in perspective really helpful. Gave me a reason to keep at it!

Mmdelgado

You look absolutely amazing! Thank you for the motivation! Way to capitalize on such an awesome opportunity

sweetpea03b

WOOOOOW. That is exactly what I said when I saw your picture. Just amazing - congratulations and good for you! I love the mantra... and I think I'm going to borrow it!

seomra

I for one am delighted you posted your bikini shot- very motivating to those of us with still a bit to go. Fair play girl you look great!!!

Jilliankosto

Amazing story AND you look amazing in a bikini! Very inspired. Thank you.

gennaclaire

Thank you all so much. I used to love reading the success stories! They were always an extra boost of motivation when I needed it.

Jillish23

Beautiful, inside and out! I love your way of thinking! To me, weight loss is as much a mental battle as a physical one, so for you to share such a positive outlook is another great way of tackling this journey. Thank you and enjoy summer 2016! ❤

WillLift4Tats

Huge applause. I love the opportunity perspective. Thank you for sharing today, I so needed to read something like this. What a positive change in attitude. You look fantastic of course too

Anustrt4me

Fantastic! You look fabulous and your eyes shine with that inner beauty of confidence and pride! I too have realized my opportunity for the 4th try and I have a whole new outlook behind the reasons for wanting to lose this weight. I have already lost 62 pounds. I have an additional 40 pounds that I want to lose. After that I may choose to lose more, but we will see when I get there.

suemcmurry

AH-MAZING!!!!

gennaclaire

Thank you, Jillish! It'll be the first summer I've looked forward too in a long time.
WillLift4Tats--Glad it's what you needed to hear today. I know that feeling well. (And I love your elephant tattoo!)
Anustrt4me--62lbs. is incredible!! Can't wait to see your final transformation too.

Healthy_4_Life2

You look amazing!!! What a wonderful progress!! Wow!! Wow!!

alltheweigh170

How inspiring! Awesome!

shrcpr

You look incredible! And, what a great story!

skeo

OP you are a star! Great way in changing your way of thinking and going about this fitness and healthy stuff.
Great job on taking advantage of every opportunity!

Hallie82

Dannng!!!! That's awesome way to go! Thanks for sharing and inspiring

LaceyBirds

This is one of most inspiring posts I've read in Success Stories in a long time. If you're not a writer, you should be. You look amazing and your optimism and attitude is something I wish could be bottled and sold. Congratulations.

proudseal

Wowowoweee!! What do you mean, at "your age"?? You are a young hottie! Great job, and thanks for sharing your inspiring story!

smotheredincheese

Amazing!! My goal is to be feel happy wearing a bikini too so this is very encouraging to read

rebeccaEsmith

WOW girl you look beautiful congrats on your journey you have done so well

RoseTheWarrior

I absolutely love your story and the way you express yourself. Great work! Great attitude! Great way to put the entire journey into perspective. So many more people would succeed if they would think the same way as you do. And YES, you look STUNNING in your bikini! Own it proudly

vanessalillian82

WOW! You look amazing Opportunity. I like it. It's such a good way of looking at it.

gennaclaire

Thank you all so much!! I really appreciate you taking the time to read my story. And I'm so happy to hear some of you found it inspiring. That's awesome.

It takes a village, right? I'm so grateful to MyFitnessPal which provided so much support along the way.

ashmx250

You're gorgeous! Great job!!

fanncy0626

Congratulations! You look amazing! You will inspire anyone that reads your story and sees you in your bikini.

kgb6days

You're rocking that bikini now!

BuccaneersFan

You see a lot of people post before and after pictures in bikinis on here and the after pictures really aren't too flattering, but you are not one of them, you look great! Your husband/boyfriend must be VERY happy!

kasaz

Wow you have made the most of your opportunities and you look fabulous! Great job.

gennaclaire

Thank you so much. You all are so kind!!

Lemonychild--If my photos offended you, I'm sorry. It wasn't my intention at all. I just chose photos that are similar to the ones I found the most inspiring during my journey. Best of luck on reaching your own goals!