Got called anorexic today. This ever happen to you?

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xxcooneyxx
xxcooneyxx Posts: 221 Member
in Motivation and Support
Many of you know my story about how I lost 100 lbs through anorexia and bulimia, was hospitalized, and then gained 85 lbs back, before losing 117 lbs total (so far) the healthy way.

Today I mentioned on my FB that I had 23 more pounds to lose to get to goal. One of my guy friends (Who know's nothing about my struggle with eating disorders) basically said something along the lines of "What are you, anorexic!?" I wasn't offended, me and my friends clown on each other all the time. Still, I'm not sure why, but I can't stop thinking about it. I have mixed emotions. One part of me is happy that someone thinks I'm small enough to make "skinny" jabs at me. I'm also over-thinking it though, because I have been SO CAREFUL not to fall back into old bad habits.

In a society where obesity is a growing issue, sometimes I feel like a lot of people (including myself) have lost sight of what a healthy weight looks like. I had people telling me to stop dieting as early as 170 lbs (and I am 5'5") I worry that, because a lot of my friends know about my ED, that I will soon be met with a lot of opposition from genuinely concerned people who think I'm relapsing.

Any advice? Comments? Anything like this happen to you?

FYI my goal weight is 130, which really is not that low. It seems like a perfectly healthy weight for my height.

Replies

  • justwanderful
    justwanderful Posts: 142 Member
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    If he knew nothing of your history, then there was no malice intended in his statement. He was probably just joking around, saying it in jest. The best thing you can do is to let it go.
  • metacognition
    metacognition Posts: 626 Member
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    I hear comments from co-workers saying that I could afford to gain weight or don't have to worry about calories. This even on weeks that I gain weight.

    I think this is because I write down my snacks and meals during work to log into MFP later. I do it down to the smallest snack because I like precision.

    It must come across as weird to anyone who has never had to worry about their weight or count calories.
    None of the men that I work with limit what they eat and none of them are overweight.

    I binged a couple of times while having the flu, so I'm tracking calories to stay accountable and work off the excess two pounds that I've added.
    It's the key to prevent weight regain.
    But I guess my fellow worker bees just see a skinny girl writing down everything she eats and passing on junk food.
  • nickymarie011
    nickymarie011 Posts: 152 Member
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    I've had it happen before, but fortunately, I do not suffer from an ED. I lost a whole lot of weight from stress back then. I was extremely skinny though, same height as you and 98 pounds about 5 yrs ago. I have gained since then and am healthy now but people would always comment on me being anorexic thin and that I looked like a skeleton. Some people really do not realize that the things they say can hurt others.

    Honestly, you KNOW you are not relapsing and you are doing what you are supposed to be doing and fighting this disease, therefore, do not worry about what others may think of you. If they are concerned that you are relapsing and come to you with these concerns, simply tell them the truth and inform them of your fitness goals. You can't always be concerned about what everyone else thinks of you. If you know you are living a healthy lifestyle, then go on with it and deal with the concerns and questions when/if anyone ever expresses them to you. BTW, props to you for fighting the fight, You are a very strong individual.
  • jwdieter
    jwdieter Posts: 2,582 Member
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    A lot of people just don't know what a healthy weight can or does look like. So used to layers of fat on everyone.
  • T_X_L
    T_X_L Posts: 140 Member
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    A lot of people just don't know what a healthy weight can or does look like. So used to layers of fat on everyone.

    ^This. Just look at our grandparents photo albums to see what "normal" looked like. My dad looked like a stick in his 20's, a farm boy doing a lot of manual labour, and eating high fat (but minimally processed) everything. Even during my childhood (I'm 48) I was the fat kid, but looking back on the old pics, no one would say that today (unfortunately for kids in general today).
  • Gearjammer71
    Gearjammer71 Posts: 151 Member
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    Not an anorexic, but a drug addict. I lost a lot of weight over the past month and was pulled aside for a "reasonable suspicion" conversation, by my general manager.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    I've gotten told to eat a cheeseburger or a burrito.

    Funnily enough, it's always from overweight people. :laugh:
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
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    Sorry someone stirred up your old baggage.

    How tall are you? 130 could be a very reasonable goal, provided you aren't too tall.
  • Bernadette60614
    Bernadette60614 Posts: 707 Member
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    I think when your appearance changes due to weight loss, people notice.

    Yesterday someone asked me if I lost weight cause my face looked narrower. My instance reaction was: Did I look like a fat faced person before?

    I think people don't know what to say and rather than say nothing, they say the wrong thing.

    Having weight management issues I never comment on weight. Instead I'll just compliment the person's hair or clothes if I notice a weight loss.
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
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    did this friend of yours know about your past history? not that it's excusable, but he was probably just joking around and calling you "anorexic" because you're losing weight (the healthy way, this time).

    i'm sure you're overthinking it because of your history...and because as women, on the whole, we overanalyze. i say just keep losing weight the healthy way until your mind and body are at a happy place--130 for 5'5" sounds fine. just my $.02. i've never been called any of the extremes....
  • IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym
    IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym Posts: 5,573 Member
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    all of the time and I used to be, so it stings, because I am so much healthier now, but I know I'm healthy and no longer anorexic. The cheeseburger and force-feed you sandwich jokes are not funny, though.
  • nickymarie011
    nickymarie011 Posts: 152 Member
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    Sorry someone stirred up your old baggage.

    How tall are you? 130 could be a very reasonable goal, provided you aren't too tall.


    I think 130 @ 5'5 is perfect :) Close to what I am now!
  • KombuchaCat
    KombuchaCat Posts: 834 Member
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    I overcame a minor ED that I had in my late teens/early twenties, it was really more of an obsession than a disorder...but not many people know about it. My roomate in college used to tell me that when I turned to the side I dissapeared accept for my butt (I've always been a little luscious back there :D) Then I gained a ton of weight when I started eating normally again.
    I find that when I tell people I want to lose weight (I'm 5'3" and currently 155 lbs looking to get to 130, even though I'm shorter I do not have a very petite frame), they tell me "where is it going to come from?" Seriously? Things have gotten so distorted...Fat people don't see themselves as fat, skinny people will never be skinny enough...meanwhile most of the rest of the world is starving but not by choice...it's a crazy world!
  • cdjs77
    cdjs77 Posts: 176 Member
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    A lot of people just don't know what a healthy weight can or does look like. So used to layers of fat on everyone.

    ^This. Just look at our grandparents photo albums to see what "normal" looked like. My dad looked like a stick in his 20's, a farm boy doing a lot of manual labour, and eating high fat (but minimally processed) everything. Even during my childhood (I'm 48) I was the fat kid, but looking back on the old pics, no one would say that today (unfortunately for kids in general today).

    Agreed! When I first moved to Switzerland I thought everyone here was super skinny. I eventually found out that most people had healthy weights and were active and ate well, it was just my perception that was off. I went back to the US to visit recently and couldn't believe how heavy everyone seemed, even people I thought were normal, healthy weights before. I also used to think I was way too thin in the US, until I moved away and realized I was a normal healthy weight and just needed some toning up.

    130 lbs Is definitely a healthy goal for 5'5" so I wouldn't worry too much about it (if you believe in BMI that would put you right in the middle of healthy weights).
  • Lesa_Sass
    Lesa_Sass Posts: 2,213 Member
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    GIRL! I hear comments all the time such as "lay down that crack pipe and eat a cheeseburger why dontcha".

    I am fit, I am healthy, I EAT! I am no where close to having an eating disorder, as a matter of fact, I am one of those people that posts pictures of their food on facebook, so much so that I started my own cooking page on there.

    I get bullied for the way I look. Why? Because I make the choices other people are too darn lazy to so instead of making better choices for themselves, they choose to make fun of me.

    I will have the last laugh, cause I will be the one that is still alive to do it.

    You make the choices of what you allow to rent space in your head. If his comment is what you choose to allow to live in there rent free, that is on you, not him. I suggest you kick it out and think about something else. I find if I turn my eyes to someone that needs my help, I no longer think about my crap anymore.

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