Use to be Fit, than life happened!

CRYSTALJHELVY

I am a mother of two and a devoted wife of a busy man. I came from a fit teenage life to a 31 year old over weight woman. I don't believe this is who I am meant to be. I know others have the same life as me. I am happy in love and proud moma. But how do I make myself proud of me again?

Mrsrobinsoncl

Just do it! I have a similar story to yours, was very active growing up and have physical jobs after college, then I got a desk job, family and kids!! Its not easy, not going to lie, But I find if I make time for myself and take care of myself I am a much happier person and a better wife and mother.

nvmomketo

Me too. Varsity athlete, ran 50km a week, lifted heavy in the gym and then life happened and I let it go. My three kids are with me 24/7 so getting the free time to work out is hard, but a body is mostly built in the kitchen so that is my main focus right now.

Good luck.

Kalikel

I'm not a fan of the "life happened" philosophy. Life didn't happen to add pounds to your body. Overeating did that.

I say that not to mean, to make you feel stupid or to show that you're wrong. I say it because the first step to losing weight is admitting that we did something to make that happen...then figure out what we need to change. Some people just overeat a little bit at every meal. Others binge on donuts or candy. Some gain weight because they went on a series of crash diets that caused them to starve and then overeat. Some people don't know which foods are higher in calories. Etc.

There are as many ways to fatness as there are fat people. Everyone has their own stuff that they need to work on. You just have to figure out where your problems lie.

Losing weight isn't terribly complicated. The physical part is exactly what you've heard for years: Eat less than you burn. Plug your info into the MFP and follow the calories it gives you and that part is done. "Eat right and exercise." Everyone has heard it.

It's all the extra stuff that is work - the hows, whys, all of that. You'll learn as you go. Give it some thought. Pay attention to how you feel when you eat certain things - when are you hungriest and least hungry? What do you eat that makes you want more & more & more? What fills you up nicely? Which foods actually have more or less calories than you thought (because you trusted the label and have now weighed it and see it's not what the label said it was)? When you fail, what happened before you failed - did you not eat enough, so you binged? Stuff like that.

I really think that 90% of weight loss is mental. If you're truly motivated and WANT to do the hard work of losing weight, it will happen! You'll get to thin again! The only thing that can stop you is you. So, take a good look at what you did, what you're doing and what you want to do, later, when you're done losing.

For a very few people, it's all so very easy. For most of us, it's really hard work and requires a lot of though/attention...and many adjustments as we go. But we do it and you can, too! No reason you cannot!

Good luck on your weight loss journey!!

Kellyfitness128

I totally understand where you're coming from! I was really in shape two years ago, then the stress and business of school, work, internships, and a social life caused the weight to creep up on me. It sounds like you're motivated to get back to it though! Do you have any ideas for how you can get started? If you need any help, feel free to ask

MorganMoreaux

Kalikel wrote: »

I'm not a fan of the "life happened" philosophy. Life didn't happen to add pounds to your body. Overeating did that.

I say that not to mean, to make you feel stupid or to show that you're wrong. I say it because the first step to losing weight is admitting that we did something to make that happen...then figure out what we need to change. Some people just overeat a little bit at every meal. Others binge on donuts or candy. Some gain weight because they went on a series of crash diets that caused them to starve and then overeat. Some people don't know which foods are higher in calories. Etc.

There are as many ways to fatness as there are fat people. Everyone has their own stuff that they need to work on. You just have to figure out where your problems lie.

Losing weight isn't terribly complicated. The physical part is exactly what you've heard for years: Eat less than you burn. Plug your info into the MFP and follow the calories it gives you and that part is done. "Eat right and exercise." Everyone has heard it.

It's all the extra stuff that is work - the hows, whys, all of that. You'll learn as you go. Give it some thought. Pay attention to how you feel when you eat certain things - when are you hungriest and least hungry? What do you eat that makes you want more & more & more? What fills you up nicely? Which foods actually have more or less calories than you thought (because you trusted the label and have now weighed it and see it's not what the label said it was)? When you fail, what happened before you failed - did you not eat enough, so you binged? Stuff like that.

I really think that 90% of weight loss is mental. If you're truly motivated and WANT to do the hard work of losing weight, it will happen! You'll get to thin again! The only thing that can stop you is you. So, take a good look at what you did, what you're doing and what you want to do, later, when you're done losing.

For a very few people, it's all so very easy. For most of us, it's really hard work and requires a lot of though/attention...and many adjustments as we go. But we do it and you can, too! No reason you cannot!

Good luck on your weight loss journey!!

^ +1000. Very well said.

scolaris

Yes, you need a tough love reality check. Life happens to everyone. You happened to you. I say this with the deepest sweetest compassion and empathy. Only you can turn it around.
1) schedule yourself in. Your kids don't spontaneously manifest with Harry potter's flue dust at soccer, ballet, orthodontia or play practice. Oh no siree. I bet there's a crowded calendar reminding you when they have their next appointment, when its parent teacher conferences, when you need to bring team snack, when your busy busy husband needs a ride to the airport. Put your name on that calendar now!!!
2) raise your bar. When was the last time you arrived at a school function without shoes or pants? When was the last time you left the house without glancing at your hair & teeth in the mirror? When was the last time you pooped in your pants because you were too busy for a visit to the bathroom? When was the last time you told your husband & children there would be no eating that day because mommy just doesn't have time? Oh... Never?? That's what I thought. Fitness & self care needs to become like regular bathing, toileting, dressing, eating. Yes you will need to be flexible. But 'never' is not flexible. It's consistent disregard. Raise that bar sweetie!
3) practice radical self love. If there's a marine drill Sargent in your ear berating you for past mistakes, show them the door. They are hurting more than helping. Treat yourself as kindly and compassionately as you treat your children & husband. Relish time alone with yourself in your body.
You can do this!! Xoxo

nvmomketo

Edited to delete. Not worth posting.

Liftng4Lis

You, just go get it!

siluridae

If you don't have time to exercise, then just count calories. Does not take a lot of time everyday.

CRYSTALJHELVY

Thank you all especially tough loves out there very motivating ! I'm inspired.

PinkPixiexox

You should already be proud of you - you're a mother and I imagine a wonderful one at that
Weight loss will come - just stay strong and stick to your guns, we'll help you here.

Sued0nim

You decide to do it and do it

Took me till my youngest was 10 to commit

Lucille4444

Crystal,
Just the fact that you are here should make you proud, it means you are looking for a change. The loss of fitness didn't happen in a day, and fitness won't return in a day. But plan what you want to do and stick with it, even if it is only 20-30 minutes a day.
I think that once you see results, you will be happier and more motivated to continue.

amyr271

nvmomketo wrote: »

Edited to delete. Not worth posting.

Now you've got my curiosity...

Owlfan88

Most of the weight loss happens in the kitchen. Dedicate yourself to weighing your food so you can see how much you are eating. Then work on the fitness. I've found that there are many times where I have a few minutes here or there where I could be walking at least. I saw a friend post that she was so busy, having a hard time finding time to workout, was stuck at a kids practice. Hello, you could do some sort of workout while waiting! I have found I can increase my step count by a fair amount by doing things my family finds a bit crazy - marching in place while washing dishes or brushing my teeth, walking laps around the kitchen while on the phone or waiting for something in the microwave. It all adds up! For me it sometimes adds up to an extra 4-5,000 steps a day!

CRYSTALJHELVY

Wow this is all awesome stuff. I joined a free fitness group in our community last week. It has two days of boot camp and one day a Zumba. I hurt all over and I was not able to keep up. But I loved it. I have a bum knee and ware a brace too. I know having this app is helping so much

kailyw05

I've blamed "life" for my weight gain too. My one piece of advice, since you say you were a fit teenager, is don't hold that level of fitness as the only way to lose weight now. I told myself for years that exercise was supposed to be miserable. I told myself I had to work x number of minutes for y number of days per week or there was no point. That's why I chose not to exercise at all.

Now, I did lose my weight working out to videos that I dreaded, powered through them miserably, but "did my time". Now that I am maintaining and have been for 5 months, I have stopped all the (what I considered) miserable exercise. I go for a brisk walk on my lunch break (if I can), walk my dog with my husband in the evening, and practice yoga and/or meditation at home for 30-40 minutes before bed. I've been doing this routine for nearly 3 months and am actually down 3 lbs from goal (I planned this though because the holidays are coming and last year I gained 5 lbs in the month of December lol). It's mostly just making sure you're logging every morsel of food, keep portions in check, and try to move a little each day.

Don't be too hard on yourself, and don't try to live up to your teenage self. Your life is very different now, so your healthy lifestyle will also be different. Good luck to you!

booksandchocolate12

I always cringe at the phrase "life happened", when used as a reason for weight gain. Life will always happen, unless you're, you know....dead. You have to learn to stick to your goals despite the fact that life is happening. I'm not saying it's easy, but it's kind of the only way.

Good luck!

nvmomketo

amyr271 wrote: »

nvmomketo wrote: »

Edited to delete. Not worth posting.

Now you've got my curiosity...

Was justifying how "life" contributed to my weight gain, along with eating too much. No one needs to hear it, or probably wants to hear it. LOL

CRYSTALJHELVY

Thank you again everyone. this is really helpful. And I believe you must voice your crutches in life and recognize them outwardly to step over them. After reading all of your comments. I agree I would feel better blaming my weight gain on "lifes Happening" and I can see that it was just that making me feel better for the minute. Yet now I feel very strongly about never saying that to myself again. Ready to recognize, revitalize, revise, and realize my goals, and life style change.

scolaris

It's not like we all haven't had those periods in our lives!!
All the best to you... xoxoxo