Feeling the Uglies

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

I'll take sisterly advice--no offense taken! (Although I always automatically tense up whenever I see that line. It's like saying "Don't hit the big, red button". ) I'll be on the look out for some swim shorts (actually, they were my goal), but I was having trouble finding a good pair that actually made me look OK. I don't know if I've seen the dark boot/short combination except on the very thin of Hollywood. As for the cuffs, are you talking about my shorts in my other picture? They came with this trim on them.

I know they did. Throw them out. And you're wearing some sort of dark booties with them. Don't do that. It makes your legs look stumpy, and they're not. Get the swim shorts. You have a beautiful body with amazing skin. Adjust what *you* think you're suppose to look like. See that third pic of you? Your hair is wild, your face is beautiful. You look very pretty. But that shirt is not sexy! If you want sexy, you've got to experiment with different looks.

I'm not saying you have to change how you dress or who you are. I'm just saying you have all the elements for the compliments you want. But if you want to hear them, you could adjust the dressing a bit. Then you will be a force!

Prismapencils

OH. You were talking about my sneakers. ...Woops.
How does one dress sexy effortlessly? I guess what I'm saying is that I want to look all done up without looking like I tried. I'm not explaining this well. I don't want to look like I'm going to the club when I'm just hanging out at the park, yet wouldn't mind looking pretty or even sexy.

Prismapencils

How does one feel confident about themselves then? I'm combating over 20 years of negative self talk here. 0.0'

lisamarie1780

How does one feel confident about themselves then? I'm combating over 20 years of negative self talk here. 0.0'

That's the first step right there ^^ stop talking and thinking negatively about yourself

Which is easier said than done I know....

A lot of people with low self esteem find counselling/therapy helpful. You can get to the root of it and kill it for good with a skilled therapist

Sometimes confidence is nothing but practice and a little bit of acting though.... start talking yourself up instead of down and set yourself some goals.... there is nothing like completion and the achieving of something challenging to give you a boost and a reminder of just how great you are

laurasimmons

I'm sure everyone has days like this. I do and I find killing an awesome workout helps make me feel better. I know its easier said than done but you have to stop worrying about what others think.....its how you feel about yourself that matters.

IpuffyheartHeelsinthegym

first step, do not go out onto the MFP threads for affirmation. Everyone is cute/sexy/hot/adorable/sweet/bangable, etc... As far as how one feels confident... fake it til you make it. Plaster a smile on and wear it until it happens naturally. You'd be surprised what that can do for ones confidence level.

footiechick82

Who the *kitten* cares?

It's a fitness site... you're here for feedback on fitness, not how pretty/ugly you are!

Take care of you and your self esteem, forget what other people think...

Aree you lacking attention? I feel like a fat cow because it's my TOM, I'm not going to say "I feel gross and fat becasue it's my TOM and I have a pimple on my chin." I don't need people knowing that!

Keep that sort of *kitten* to yourself... you're here to portray confidence and show others you kick *kitten*!

sunglasses_and_ocean_waves

OH. You were talking about my sneakers. ...Woops.
How does one dress sexy effortlessly? I guess what I'm saying is that I want to look all done up without looking like I tried. I'm not explaining this well. I don't want to look like I'm going to the club when I'm just hanging out at the park, yet wouldn't mind looking pretty or even sexy.

You're explaining it perfectly. I get it. I don't want you to think I'm making fun of you or anything. I think you've got all the right things, but you could use a little sex appeal in the outfits. I've found the way to look sexy without looking like a ho is to wear workout gear or clothing that kind of has that look. They show off the curves without saying, "do me. I think you've got a great top on in the 2nd pic, but as I mentioned, the bottoms ruin it. I cute little skirt or a light pair of shorts with flip flops say casual & cute. A good rule to follow is if the shirt is tight, the bottoms must not be and vice versa. Get thee a short white skirt and rock that baby. Just not too short!

Truthfully, I think you're awesome the way you are.

myofibril

How does one feel confident about themselves then? I'm combating over 20 years of negative self talk here. 0.0'

http://www.positive-thinking-principles.com/cognitive-reframing.html

Or you could try CBT, affirmations, more NLP, self help books

Prismapencils

Who the *kitten* cares?

It's a fitness site... you're here for feedback on fitness, not how pretty/ugly you are!

Aree you lacking attention? I feel like a fat cow because it's my TOM, I'm not going to say "I feel gross and fat becasue it's my TOM and I have a pimple on my chin." I don't need people knowing that!

Keep that sort of *kitten* to yourself... you're here to portray confidence and show others you kick *kitten*!

Not really. I just wanted to know how others think and if they have varying ways to counter when they feel badly.
I think others get tired of seeing the robotic, braggy *kitten*-kickage posts and find honesty and vulnerability refreshing. Not that there won't be future posts of confidence.

I get what you mean though about not always advertising your flaws and weaknesses.

nickymarie011

First off, stop visiting those stupid compliment threads. I think they are ridiculous and I've seen some people on there say not so nice things about others above them in the thread. Being on those threads is NOT a way to gain self esteem. Secondly, you are a very cute and pretty woman. For starters, your hair is freaking awesome. I am not sure if you are a natural red head, but you ROCK the look. Not everyone can rock red locks, so that is awesome in itself.

I personally do not feel like you need to change your clothing style either, of course, unless you want to. I think we all wear our own style and just because it may not be what is on the runway OR what everyone else thinks is 'hip' does not mean a darn thing.

OAN, you need to work on yourself internally. Once you feel beautiful/hot, others will begin to recognize you as that. Confidence is a sexy mother effin' trait. Rock your style, be proud of yourself and strut your stuff.. I don't mean that you should be conceited, but you need to learn to not give a crap about others opinions of you (especially on those compliment threads) and learn to be happy with what ya got! You are uniquely you

Btw, you kind of remind me of Hayley Williams from the band Paramore. It's a good thing, shes a doll!

Prismapencils

Yeah. I know. I should not care. That's pretty darn hard though. I think a good chunk of the human population wants to be liked by others. It may be an innate survival trait. I don't know. As I said before, I was really, really starting to gain some confidence. If you had spotted me a year ago, I would not be proudly sporting a whole-body swimsuit picture. I wanted to be able to go into the thread thinking that I would not care what others though--they dun know ma liiife!. Unfortunately, I failed that test. I still need to work on it as you and others have mentioned. For starters, not walking into that trap in the first place.

I don't know what OAN is? oh..and? Um.

Thank you for the kind words. Although, the only similarity I see with Haley is the red locks. She really is beautiful. My hair is naturally this color. Although, I often see women that I think would be able to rock the red much better than I due to having better facial features. This is that negative self talk that I routinely have to say, "STFU" to all the time through affirmations. Do people really find confidence attractive? I know the answer is usually a massive YES, but I really don't. Or maybe I'm confusing confidence with arrogance. Either way, I find it annoying. I like humility and humble attitudes on talented people. When I see someone with confidence, I immediately look for holes in their performance, thinking, "You're just like the rest of us, bro. Don't pretend you know anything more."

So, I don't know if I want to lock this thread or not. I've gotten some decent feedback to think about. Maybe this can be a place to vent whenever you're feeling less than awesome?